The Marrying Age

[Vanessa]

Just read an article that popped up on USAToday entitled Sooner vs. Later: Is there an ideal age for first marriage?

My random first thought was - "First marriage? Ha."

My second thought was wondering how old/young people's parents were when they got married.

My parents married when they were 19 & 21. My grandparents (on all sides) were between 16 & 18.

 

[Chas]

30 OK. 13, not ok. Not even for Religous cults.

For some people, never. I refer to a line in the film "To Sir, With Love".

“Marriage is no way of life for the weak, the selfish, or the insecure.”

 

[AmateisGal]

My grandparents were both in their early 20s when they got married.

My parents were also in their early 20s.

 

[Inky]

My mom and biological father were married when they were 18 years old. It lasted about 4 years. My mom and dad were married when my mom was 26 and my dad 32, and they have been married 43 years now.

I don't know about my grandparents, but I do know my great Grandmother was married at age 23 in 1915, because I just came across a copy of her marriage license this weekend!

I was first married at age 29, as was my first husband, who I had known since age 15, but it still didn't work out. The second time I was 43 when I got married, and he was 31. We just celebrated our 5 year anniversary this past Halloween.

 

[LizzieMaine]

My grandparents were 29 and 22 -- it was a -- ah -- shotgun wedding, if you get the drift, and they were considered rather old for a first marriage.

My parents were both 20 -- since most kids then didn't go to college, marriages were very common right out of high school.

I waited till 25, but my sister got married at 21. Early marriages are still quite common here.

 

[Paisley]

My parents were 17 and 18. Readers can draw their own conclusions.

 

[miss_elise]

i married at 24...

my parents were 23 and 24...but my grandparents were older, due to a little interruption called a world war...

 

[Undertow]

My paternal grandparents were both 16...and you can imagine why they were married.

My maternal grandparents were 26(him) 22(her).

My parents were both 24.

I'm 26 and marriage is still not in sight, thankfully. I'm not a fan of divorce and I fear women of my generation aren't right for me, let alone ready for a lifelong commitment.

 

[Foofoogal]

I was 18 and honey was 20. Married 33 years.
My parents 46 years before mom died and married in early 20s I believe. Honeys parents married at least 42 years before FIL died.
My grandparents were married 57 years.
I think this has more to do with it than age. Divorce was not an option. Almost a teachable way as how to do the dishes or how to clean the home. Just learned behavior. I believe if you expect an out then you are always aware or looking for an out. IMHO of course. If people have never been taught it how do they understand or know it?

My friends father told me one time: So true but so funny. lol

He said: You know the difference with my generation and yours?
When we said I do, we did.

 

[Foofoogal]

A side note on this fftopic: Sometimes people assume that people are miserable because of the way they communicate or don't.
Noone knows what goes on behind closed doors but those 2 people and God.
Sometimes the ones that fight the most I have learned the hard way are sometimes the ones that like it that way. Almost foreplay if you may.
Don't ever, ever get in the way of those kinds of couples.
Especially people married a very long time. This is the way they do things no matter if you understand it or not. Even if they like to gripe to you about it constantly. They would get out if they do not get something out of the deal. I can guarantee you this.

 

[tempestbella42]

my parents married when mum was 20 and dad 25, and divorced 12yrs later,
my step sisters both married at 17 the first time and one divorced after 20yrs , wereas the others just got married for the fourth time!(theyre both youmger than me...
my sister hasnt married but shes been with her BF over 20yrs and still strong!

me! I did nearly get married twice(18 and 37! but they both cheated on me!), but at 42 im no where near now!
not that id never say never! just i have had a busy life and not met "the one"!

i think it all depends on the individuals nowadays! in my grandparents days divorce was not really though an option so they worked at the marriage more than some(not all!) now do!

 

[cufflinkmaniac]

I think my grandmother was 17 when she married my grandfather,who I think was 24 or 25,before he was shipped to Pearl Harbor (he was there for the attack).They almost made it to their 60th anniversary,but she passed away shortly before.My mother was 30 and my father was 33.They had been married eight years when he passed away just a few days after their anniversary,I was six at the time.I plan on getting married (provided I can find the right girl),before 30.

 

[tempestbella42]

i forgot to add...my grandparents from both sides married in their mid 20s (during WW2) and it was "death us do part" with mums parents having 64yrs together, gran died 4 days after spending a romantic valentines( cuddling and holding hands like teenagers )with grandad at a candlelit dinner in a nursing home last yr..

 

[Miss Sis]

My Dutch grandparents were about 22 (him) and 21 (her) when they married in January 1940. They were together till my Grandfather died. My Grandmother is still alive. My cousin said she has never really been the same since Grandpa died - that she 'lived for him'.

My New Zealand grandparents were 24 (him) and 25 (her) when they married in 1937. My Nana said how her mother considered her an 'old' bride!!! Sadly they were only married 6 and a bit years when my grandfather died at the age of 31 of TB (consumption).

I suppose it was partly that there were not the freedoms that we have now outside of marriage that people tended to get married younger and I sometimes wonder if we still lived under that sort of moral climate if I would have married by now. And I think, probably!

 

[Miss_Bella_Hell]

I think the proper age to marry is the age at which you meet the right person.

Arbitrarily setting an age probably will only lead to badness.

 

[Barbigirl]

~

I was 19, he was 23 it lasted 12 years. In the right order: dated for three years, got married, bought house, had baby. I still had my doubts but went ahead and got married anyway. If he had not had a complete lifestyle change we may have still been married. I am very happy I had my kids young though. He is a great Dad and we have a civil parental relationship.
Life experience gives me very high expectations for the longevity of my second marriage to the one.

 

[RebeccaMUA]

My parents got married at 17 (mom) and 23 (dad). They've been married for 41 years and are still going. My grandparents (mothers parents) married after WWII so they were in their late 20's and remained married until my grandfather passed in 1998. My father's parents married in their mid - twenties as well but his father passed about 14-15 years after they married from stomach cancer.

Seems for them the "20's" was they age they married. But like another poster stated, divorce just wasn't an option for them.

 

[Lillemor]

The trend back to the 1930s has been for relatively late marriages. Late 20s/early 30s on both sides of my family with many divorces and re-marriages for both men and women during the same time for people b.1910s-1950s. I'm a first time married at 22 which was a huge shocker for my family. I think hub and I are fairly average for his side of the family.

I don't think there is a propper age that's right for everyone. Some people have first marriages in their 40s and then divorce a few years later. Some married "by queen's letter" at 15 and are still married now in their 60s, so I wouldn't want to pass any general rule.

Foofoogal, you raised several valid points which I can only agree with.

Also, some desire to experience certain things on their own while some of us are happy and see it as something positive that we share most of our adult experiences with our partner and don't have a long before history to compare to.

 

[pigeon toe]

My parents married when they were 32/33. My grandparents on my mom's side got married in their very early 20's. My dad's mom had him when she was 18, but I'm not sure if she was married at the time.

I plan on marrying no earlier than 28. I still have so much to experience on my own before I get married!

 

[Sunny]

My parents were nearly 21 and 21 respectively, in the summer between their junior and senior year at college. Their 30th will be next summer.

My grandparents... late 20s and 22, I think, just after college for both. They were the same year but he was older; he got a late start because of Korea.