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The "Go Figure" Laws

Steve

Practically Family
Messages
550
Location
Pensacola, FL
We've all been there...

Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.

Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

Law of probability: The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.

Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

Variation Law: If you change lines in a store (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now. (works every time)

Bath Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

Law of Bio-Mechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

Theatre Rule: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

Law of Coffee : As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Murphy's Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets: The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich of landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.

Law of Location : No matter where you go, there you are.

Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

Brown's Law: If the shoe fits, it's ugly.

Oliver's Law: A closed mouth gathers no feet.

Wilson's Law: As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.
 
S

Samsa

Guest
I'm closing in on the end of my first year in law school, and have not learned any of these yet. What on earth is happening to higher education???
 

Lady Day

I'll Lock Up
Bartender
Messages
9,087
Location
Crummy town, USA
Samsa said:
I'm closing in on the end of my first year in law school, and have not learned any of these yet. What on earth is happening to higher education???


The law of the learned, you never learn what you need to know :rolleyes:

LD
 

ShooShooBaby

One Too Many
Messages
1,149
Location
portland, oregon
Mike in Seattle said:
I personally believe that Murphy was an optimist...

i'm right there with you. saying, "well of course i just fell on my face, there's 23 people around to see it!" lightens the mood for me, at least.

of course, if you're a follower of that marketing scheme known as The Secret, the only Law would be, "whatever just happened only happened because you thought it was going to happen!" lol
 

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