The general decline in standards today

[fortworthgal]

^ Ugh, I dated a guy like that before I met my husband. I had a nice full-time job with benefits and I was always very careful with my budget, shopping sales, buying generic, coupons, etc. Meanwhile he was a heavy smoker, refused to eat leftovers or anything that had been previously frozen, and also refused to purchase or use off or store brands. He was constantly bumming money and asking me to buy him cigs and pizza, and to this day I think he still owes me about $400. I probably don't even need to add that he was a rude and insensitive clod who once told me that I wasn't even the best looking girl he'd ever dated.

Needless to say, the relationship didn't last long.

 

[C-dot]

^ Ugh, I dated a guy like that before I met my husband. I had a nice full-time job with benefits and I was always very careful with my budget, shopping sales, buying generic, coupons, etc. Meanwhile he was a heavy smoker, refused to eat leftovers or anything that had been previously frozen, and also refused to purchase or use off or store brands. He was constantly bumming money and asking me to buy him cigs and pizza, and to this day I think he still owes me about $400. I probably don't even need to add that he was a rude and insensitive clod who once told me that I wasn't even the best looking girl he'd ever dated.

Needless to say, the relationship didn't last long.

Glad to hear it. As my mother always says, "chalk it up to experience."

I went out with Mr. Buy My Cigarettes a few times. He was just so full of himself, and I quickly realized he only used me to look good in front of his friends. The funny part is, once I got together with a steady beau, he begged me to go out with him instead. Shouldn't have taken me for granted then, pal.

I'm sure men like this existed to some degree in the Golden Era, but I wonder if they are more brash and plentiful now.

 

[LizzieMaine]

There are any number of words for men like that -- "gigolo" was the most common in the Era, and it was usually spat out with real contempt. Today I imagine there's a subculture somewhere that wears it -- or "pimp" -- as a badge of honor.

 

[fortworthgal]

Yes Lizzie, I believe "pimp" is now considered a compliment!

I went out with Mr. Buy My Cigarettes a few times. He was just so full of himself, and I quickly realized he only used me to look good in front of his friends. The funny part is, once I got together with a steady beau, he begged me to go out with him instead. Shouldn't have taken me for granted then, pal.

Was his name Eric, by any chance? Because from your description I would swear it was the same man. Did I also mention the part about how he started dating another girl behind my back? Total cad. Once I started dating my husband, and even after we were married, he would call & email me professing his undying love. You snooze you lose, bud.

 

[scottyrocks]

There are any number of words for men like that -- "gigolo" was the most common in the Era, and it was usually spat out with real contempt. Today I imagine there's a subculture somewhere that wears it -- or "pimp" -- as a badge of honor.

Yes, these days, bad is good. I don't see it that way, but there it is for much of today's society, none the less.

 

[V.C. Brunswick]

Yes, these days, bad is good. I don't see it that way, but there it is for much of today's society, none the less.

Orwell would have a field day writing about our present society.

 

[Undertow]

That is your choice. I just can't get used to the pasty white skin.

Brother, I wouldn't have it any other way! :love:

 

[jamespowers]

Just try to think of all the money you'd save on spray tans and bronzer.

:rofl:

 

[jamespowers]

Yes, these days, bad is good. I don't see it that way, but there it is for much of today's society, none the less.

You know, I thought about this plenty in college. It seems that men know men and women know women but they do not know each other well. In other words, we all have had friends that went out with people and we've asked ourselves what does he/she in that dolt. He/she is obviously using him/her. Eventually they figure it out and ask why we didn't tell them sooner when in fact we told them over and over.:eusa_doh:
My nutjob radar would go off right after a lady asked me for money. That never happened to me beyond askance. Perhaps keeping standards higher by instilling a nutjob radar in our children will prevent further declines---allowing these types to flourish. :smash:

 

[scooter]

Yes, although I married a brunette, I have a strong affinity for redheads myself. Can't really put my finger on it, but they just naturally draw my admiring eye.

 

[jamespowers]

Brother, I wouldn't have it any other way! :love:

Perhaps my experience with them here wanting to wear DARK clothing all the time colors my opinion. The contrast is just like a flashlight in the darkness. Then you have the Hollywood types who take red hair and make it flaming red......
My aunt had red hair and she was more than conscious of the fact that toning it down a bit works.

 

[sheeplady]

I think the trend towards princes and princesses is an example of the lack of self-responsibility that runs rampant in our society today. Why be a partner when you can be taken care of like a child- and act like an undisciplined one?

As far as the discussion regarding masculinity- most women find a man that knows his way around the kitchen, cleaning, housework, etc. to be an absolute godsend. I love to cook, but I really appreciate that my husband doesn't mind cooking and can put a good meal on the table. Sometimes I, no matter how much I like to do something, would like a break. And who wouldn't like a man who cares about his appearance? I don't want to go out with a man dressed like a slob. Or tries to keep his home neat? I don't want to live with a pig.

I think a lot of the "oh, that's not masculine" statements made by other men are an excuse for not taking responsibility for themselves. If you reject doing housework as being "non-masculine" then the fact that you don't want to is suddenly a badge of how much better you are rather than just an excuse for why it is ok to live in squalor. (Not to pick on men, but I have seen women use the "Oh, that's too feminine" or the "housework is too repressive" excuse as to why their den is a pig sty.) It's the same thing- "I'm so cool that I don't take responsibility for my own space."

 

[AtomicEraTom]

It is, sadly. My friends and my sister call me a pimp, because of the fact that I wear a gold watch, nice clothes, and especially when I had what they called my 'pimp car' a 1979 Buick Electra. I did not enjoy it, at all, and they couldn't figure it out.

Yes Lizzie, I believe "pimp" is now considered a compliment!

I have a friend, whom I've been friends with for years. In recent years, he's went off the deep end and has got this whole my crap don't stink mentality going on. He thinks he's better than everyone at everything and when you tell a story, he's done it better, or worse, depending on what's advantageous to the situation. A text-book one-upper. I blame it on some sort of inferiority complex.

Anyways, he started dating this girl recently. I don't really know her, but we went to school together and she seems to be a nice girl. Everyone that I talk to asks me the same thing, 'what does she see in him?' I honestly cannot figure it out, either. He bosses her around, treats her like garbage, makes her buy him fast-food, etc. Certainly no gent.

You know, I thought about this plenty in college. It seems that men know men and women know women but they do not know each other well. In other words, we all have had friends that went out with people and we've asked ourselves what does he/she in that dolt. He/she is obviously using him/her. Eventually they figure it out and ask why we didn't tell them sooner when in fact we told them over and over.:eusa_doh:
My nutjob radar would go off right after a lady asked me for money. That never happened to me beyond askance. Perhaps keeping standards higher by instilling a nutjob radar in our children will prevent further declines---allowing these types to flourish. :smash:

I don't think cooking, cleaning, etc. makes you less of a man. I'd hate to think I'm less of a man and I made a meal, ironed, cleaned, and dusted yesterday. As well as repaired two desk fans, a radio, a clock, and changed the oil in my wagon. My dad does the same thing. He runs his own business, and if Mom's working overtime at the plant, he'll cook, clean up, etc. I think it makes you more of a man, if it makes you anything.

As far as the discussion regarding masculinity- most women find a man that knows his way around the kitchen, cleaning, housework, etc. to be an absolute godsend. I love to cook, but I really appreciate that my husband doesn't mind cooking and can put a good meal on the table. Sometimes I, no matter how much I like to do something, would like a break. And who wouldn't like a man who cares about his appearance? I don't want to go out with a man dressed like a slob. Or tries to keep his home neat? I don't want to live with a pig.

I think a lot of the "oh, that's not masculine" statements made by other men are an excuse for not taking responsibility for themselves. If you reject doing housework as being "non-masculine" then the fact that you don't want to is suddenly a badge of how much better you are rather than just an excuse for why it is ok to live in squalor. (Not to pick on men, but I have seen women use the "Oh, that's too feminine" or the "housework is too repressive" excuse as to why their den is a pig sty.) It's the same thing- "I'm so cool that I don't take responsibility for my own space."

 

[fortworthgal]

I think it makes you more of a man, if it makes you anything.

ITA. I work fewer hours and my job is less stressful than my husband's, so I make an effort to handle as much of the housework as possible, but he definitely does his fair share (and usually a more thorough job than me!)

 

[jamespowers]

I don't think cooking, cleaning, etc. makes you less of a man. I'd hate to think I'm less of a man and I made a meal, ironed, cleaned, and dusted yesterday. As well as repaired two desk fans, a radio, a clock, and changed the oil in my wagon. My dad does the same thing. He runs his own business, and if Mom's working overtime at the plant, he'll cook, clean up, etc. I think it makes you more of a man, if it makes you anything.

You iron? Well, now you are "less of a man." :rofl:

 

[HoosierDaddy]

You iron? Well, now you are "less of a man." :rofl:

.....I think it might be somewhat acceptable... unless a lovely flowered frilly apron is involved...[huh]

 

[jamespowers]

.....I think it might be somewhat acceptable... unless a lovely flowered frilly apron is involved...[huh]

Ok, the apron cinches the deal.:eeek::eusa_doh:
I take my ironing to the dry cleaner. Does that count?

 

[AtomicEraTom]

No aprons! No siree, Bob!

.....I think it might be somewhat acceptable... unless a lovely flowered frilly apron is involved...[huh]

I'm a cheap SOB, so I'm gonna do it at home, and I can't stand to wear shirts that aren't starched and creased nicely on the sleeves.

Ok, the apron cinches the deal.:eeek::eusa_doh:
I take my ironing to the dry cleaner. Does that count?

 

[1961MJS]

Ok, the apron cinches the deal.:eeek::eusa_doh:
I take my ironing to the dry cleaner. Does that count?

ONLY if you wear the white frilly apron, and frilly white hat to the dry cleaners. They'll be reviewing their security camera for YEARS...

Later

 

[jamespowers]

I'm a cheap SOB, so I'm gonna do it at home, and I can't stand to wear shirts that aren't starched and creased nicely on the sleeves.

It comes out of the wife's allowance anyway.
You would love my dry cleaner then. When I say heavy starch, it comes back heavy starch. You have to snap the pockets open. You could cut tomatoes on the creases on the sleeves.