LizzieMaine
Bartender
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So what about solutions? Years ago our society was taught etiquette and good citizenship. Yes, in school. In a best case scenario this was reinforced at home. Teach good citizenship, respect for one another AND for ourselves. I think if our schools did this k-12 it would have ‘some’ positive impact. (Hey, it worked on ‘To Sir with Love’). J
While everybody ought to have the sense enough to understand "please" and "thank you" and "people in service jobs are not your damn slaves" before they start school, I think formal etiquette of the Emily Post variety is the worst kind of pretentious middle-class twaddle -- seriously, of what real value to society is knowing the purpose of six different kinds of forks other than being a way of reinforcing the separation of the elites from the proles. All the hat-tipping and RSVPing and unctuous "gentlemanly" stuff in the world isn't going to make a self-absorbed jerk into less of a jerk -- it's like gluing a thin veneer onto a piece of soggy beaverboard.
All we really need along those lines is for people to understand that they aren't the only ones on the sidewalk, so quit taking up so much space. You aren't the only one who needs to park their car, so quit taking up two spaces. You aren't the only one on the bus, so get your bag of crap off the seat next to you and let someone else sit there. You aren't the only one in the theatre, so put your stupid cellphone away before I chuck you out. That's the only kind of etiquette we really need -- the kind that says "you're not the only person in the world so swiften up."
As far as respect for "authority figures" is concerned, I think there's a real difference between respect and obsequiousness. The kind of person who holds their hat in hand and looks at the floor and says "sir, yes sir, no sir, yes ma'am, no ma'am, whatever you say mister or missus boss sir" whenever the boss or the teacher or the coach or the minister or the parent speaks to them isn't a "gentleman" or a "lady" but a toady. A good citizen isn't a groveler. If you really want to respect authority figures, look them in the eye and be honest with them. The American people have always had a healthy sense of distrust for the sort of authority figures who "demand" that their underlings keep their place, and this goes way back in our history.
But I think civics *is* a very important thing to teach, and that teaching the individual about their duties and responsibilities as an adult member of society is necessary, both in the home and in the schools. The civics textbooks of the Era didn't just explain how voting worked, or what a city council does, but stressed the understanding that the main duty of citizenship isn't about securing what's best for the individual -- it's about working together to achieve what's best for the community as a whole, and that a community can never be any stronger than its weakest member.
I think a lot of kids today actually understand this. They might not yet understand how to go about achieving it in a productive way, but they do seem to at least understand the point. It's the grasping, social-climbing parents who need to be signed up for remedial classes.
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