The Era -- Day By Day

[Fading Fast]

...Red Army forces under the command of Lt. General Konstantin Rokossvsky have hurled back an attack by German tank and motorized forces against the southern portion of the Moscow front near Volokolamsk. It is reported that after pushing back the Nazi thrust, Gen. Rokossvsky's forces took the initiative, pushing forward against the Nazi lines. Meanwhile, German forces were reported stalled after bitter fighting in the Tula region, 100 miles south of Moscow, where two and a half regiments fought for three days without gaining entrance to the city. It is reported that the Germans are now waiting for the arrival of reinforcements before resuming their attempts to take the city.

Nazi sources claim that German troops have broken thru strong Soviet defenses in a drive on the Isthmus of Kerch, in an effort to open a path to the rich oil fields of the Crimea. It is reported from Berlin that Russian defenses have been penetrated along the road to Ketch for a distance of six miles. It is also reported that heavy fighting continues outside the Crimean port of Sevastopol....

The Russians bent as far as possible without breaking. It's amazing.

...A Brooklyn sailor was officially listed as "lost in action" today by the U.S. Navy after going down with the torpedoed destroyer Reuben James. Seaman Joseph Gustave Little, of 1309 Nostrand Avenue in Flatbush was the 101st crew member added to the list of men believed dead in the submarine attack on the ship off Iceland....

What's your expression, Lizzie, about everything in 1941 having a connection to Brooklyn?

...
(One thing that's always bugged me about super-speed characters is why their clothes don't burn off from friction. I'm really surprised Boody hasn't explored that question.)...

In Superman's case, his costume (I think) was made from his blanket from Krypton, so that could explain it for him, but yes, for others, that's a legitimate question. "I'm here to save the world!" "Umm, could you put some clothes on first."

...
("Black Mask" was never like this.)...

Got it, too much artistic sensibility for mundane matters about things like money or ownership. Still, get him to sign the agency over legally.

...
The Rhinelander case was the number one tabloid story of 1925, reaching its nadir when Alice Jones was ordered to partially strip in front of the jury to display her skin color. She deserves every cent she gets.......

I'll defer to Harp or any of our FL member lawyers, but as a layperson, that looks like one smart line his father inserted in the original agreement. If I'm interpreting this correctly, Kip's father wanted to do right by Alice.

Just a guess, but I imagine this Kip Rhinelander is somehow related to the Rhinelander mansion that, today, is home to Ralph Lauren's flagship New York City store.

... Poor Skeez blows his whole roll at Childs.....

Some of the best financial advice out there - which requires no degrees, no financial advisors, no understanding of complex math, no fees, etc. - is to live below your means, which can most easily be done by simply not changing your spending when you get a raise, but that is rarely the choice people make.

 

[LizzieMaine]

That's the family, old real estate money going back to colonial times. The Rhinelanders were so swanky they had their own telephone exchange, RHinelander 4, in the Upper East Side in an area known as "the Rhinelander District."

Alice Jones, under the terms of the divorce, was barred from ever publicly using the Rhinelander name, or ever writing her life story. But when she died in 1989, she was buried under a stone reading "Alice J. Rhinelander." Up yours, Kip.

 

[ChiTownScion]

I've always said (in regard to that particular tune, the Bridal Chorus from Lohengrin) that the only way that it would be performed at MY wedding would be if we could get a chorus to perform it in German with full orchestral accompaniment, the way that the good Lord and Richard Wagner intended.

Of course, we didn't budget for that, and the music minister of the church was such a pill that he wouldn't even play Der Hohenfriedberger Marsch on the organ as a recessional. Sometimes, being a romantic isn't easy.

 

[LizzieMaine]

German submarine attacks in the North Atlantic are being conducted "in self defense," declared Nazi Fuehrer Adolf Hitler last night. Speaking to the Nazi Party Old Guard in Munich on the 18th anniversary of the "Beer Hall Putsch," Hitler scorned "the stupid effort of certain Americans to create nightmares in Germany with threats and plans for gigantic armaments." Before an audience of his old comrades, some dressed in the brown uniforms of storm troopers, others in the garb of the German army, navy, and air force, Hitler railed against "mealy mouthed strategists" who claim "non-existent victories in the East," and asserted that Germany is in fact winning "tremendous victories" on the Russian front. "We are superior to the murder strategists of the West," he declared, in praising German efforts on behalf of "the common European front against Bolshevism."

Germany's effort against Moscow "has failed completely," according to reports from Soviet radio monitored in London. The broadcast asserted that the Red Army has "absorbed" the impact of the Nazi onslaught against the capital, and has brought it to a halt by inflicting "heavy punishment upon the enemy." While acknowledging that the city continues to face grave danger, General Konstantin Roskosovsky, commander of the Red Army on the central front, firmly promised "the enemy will never get to Moscow."

Brooklyn will gain two councilmen in the coming term according to completed first-place proportional-representation vote tabulations showing that 662,699 ballots were cast in the borough in Tuesday's election. That total will bring to nine the number of representatives of Brooklyn on the city's governing body. Incumbent Democrat Joseph Sharkey was the leading vote-getter for first-choice ballots, with 64,482. That is still short of the 75,000 required for election, with tabulation now shifting to second-choice votes. Six other Democrats made the top ten, along with Fusionist incumbent Genevieve Earle, Communist Peter Cacchione, and Laborite Louis P. Goldberg. Candidates who earned less than the minimum of 2000 first place votes will now be eliminated from consideration, and their ballots will now be distributed among second-choice candidates.

("Tell me, what were their names? Tell me, what were their names? Did you have a friend on the good Reuben James?")

House leaders last night predicted that the lower chamber will pass the Senate amended and approved Neutrality Act revision bill by a comfortable margin of 75 to 100 votes before next weekend. The increasingly tense world situation "makes speed essential, so that President Roosevelt may have a free hand," declared Rep. Sol Bloom (D-NY) of the House Foreign Affairs Committee. Meanwhile, the Navy has taken steps to establish a naval operating base at Iceland, an installation which will mark America's easternmost outpost in the Atlantic.

"Negro sections of Brooklyn are no more crime-ridden than any other," declared Assistant District Attorney Clarence Wilson yesterday in response to charges that "night marauders" are preying on women and children in the Bedford-Stuyvesant section. Mr. Wilson, "who is himself a Negro," called the complaints by church leaders that "hordes of young devils" are terrorizing the neighborhood "greatly exaggerated," but agreed with the suggestion of George C. Wibecan, "Negro Republican leader," that more Negro policemen and detectives should be assigned to the section, "as they would better understand their people."

Babe Ruth became a grandfather yesterday. The home-run king's daughter, Mrs. Daniel Sullivan, gave birth to a girl at Long Island Hospital. The Babe upon notification of the birth is reported to have "streaked to the hospital."

("Yeah," snorts Sally. "Right.")

(For shame, Thomas. You have never heard of Oscar "Flip Flap" Jones? Who came to baseball after a career as an acrobat and trick bicycle rider in Southwestern circuses? Oscar "Flip Flap" Jones who got his nickname from his habit of doing backflips and somersaults on the mound when the umpire's back was turned? Who won 70 games over two years in the Pacific Coast League after he left Brooklyn? Hmph. And you call yourself a fan.)

Today's game against the Washington Redskins at Ebbets Field will determine whether the Football Dodgers stay in the Eastern Division race or spend the next month just playing out the string. Jock Sutherland's boys go into today's game having beaten the Giants and the Eagles over the past two weeks, but the Grid Flock lost to Washington the last time the two squads met, and must work for an upset today to keep their season hopes alive.

(Orson Welles used to use The Song Tschaikovsky Wrote as as his radio theme music, but now that the alligators and the hepcats have latched onto it, he'll have to find another.)

The National Dairy Products Corporation announced this week that it has developed a process to make cloth out of milk. A rice-like substance called casein, distilled from skim milk, may be forced thru spinnerettes to form a fluffy white fiber that can be blended with cotton, rayon, wool, or other fibers to create a new textile trademarked as "Aralac." The new fiber is expected to be widely used in the manufacture of fashions as early as next spring.

Old Timer Nora D. remembers how her dear old father used to send her out with a pail to Mike Donnelly's cafe, at Raymond and Tilbury Streets, to get him his beer, but one night she met the notorious trouble maker Nick Durney -- who offered to give her a fifty-cent piece to go get him a plug of Ivanhoe tobacco -- and while he held her beer pail in the interval, he punctured the bottom with a jackknife. By the time she finally got home, all the beer was gone and did she have some explaining to do. And then the next day, the grocer from whom she'd bought Nick's tobacco complained that she'd stuck him with a lead half-dollar.

(All right, cowboy, let's see you get out of this.)

(But what if, when you send for the Invisible Scarlet O'Neil Cut-Outs, all you get back is an empty envelope? A MARKETING TRIUMPH!)

(Yeah, but would Stalin say "pop" or "soda?" Given that he's from Georgia, wouldn't he call all soft drinks "coke?")

(There was a time when poor Dennie was a focal character in the strip, but what is he now? Just a Sunday page stooge. No wonder he's acting out. And I thought Harrington's name was Harrigan? Or are we onto a new sidekick already?)

("Ha! Did someone sell you more fake oil stock?" Gawdluvya, Jo.)

(As hundreds of lonely funnypaper pedants begin letters reading "Dear Mr. Burroughs, it may interest you to know that this camel is, actually, a dromedary...")

 

[ChiTownScion]

"Tell me, what were their names? Tell me, what were their names? Did you have a friend on the good Reuben James?"

"Many years have passed, and still I wonder, why,
The worst of men must fight and the best of men must die."

 

[Fading Fast]

...The National Dairy Products Corporation announced this week that it has developed a process to make cloth out of milk. A rice-like substance called casein, distilled from skim milk, may be forced thru spinnerettes to form a fluffy white fiber that can be blended with cotton, rayon, wool, or other fibers to create a new textile trademarked as "Aralac." The new fiber is expected to be widely used in the manufacture of fashions as early as next spring....

Well, that didn't seem to take off.

...
(But what if, when you send for the Invisible Scarlet O'Neil Cut-Outs, all you get back is an empty envelope? A MARKETING TRIUMPH!)...

It's a tough call if you only have three cents and want both the Scarlet O'Neil Cut-Outs and Doctor Brady's phamphlet on piles. What to do, what to do?

... (There was a time when poor Dennie was a focal character in the strip, but what is he now? Just a Sunday page stooge. No wonder he's acting out. And I thought Harrington's name was Harrigan? Or are we onto a new sidekick already?)
...

If Irwin isn't already, he should be worried about his job. He could look into a job swap with Sandy from "Little Orphan Annie," although, Wolf might get jealous. At minimum, it's time for Irwin to spiff up the resume.

... (As hundreds of lonely funnypaper pedants begin letters reading "Dear Mr. Burroughs, it may interest you to know that this camel is, actually, a dromedary...")

These read like the same story every week.

 

[LizzieMaine]

And in the Daily News...

We haven't heard much from Barbara Hutton lately, so I guess her cousin will have to do. And this elephant thing is very very upsetting.

C'mon Stanley, admit you don't know what you're talking about.

Poor Sugar. Poor Steve.

It's been over a year since we've seen Pat, and this is the big reveal? Somewhere, dear Raven is howling with laughter.

Theory: the Cave Man is in fact Conrad Crain himself, suffering from amnesia. Because, after all, Gus really loves his amnesia stories.

All right, the time has come. Get some counseling.

Didn't I see this whole plot in a screwball comedy in, I dunno, 1936?

Point of order: those look more like hamburgers than hot dogs. Has Shad branched out?

Walt's annual walk thru the woods was a beloved tradition when Skeezix was growing up, and it's nice to see the tradition pass to Judy. But poor Corky, neglected middle child, is stuck at home again raking leaves.

"Excellent," thinks Punj. "Soon the bald one will be swept away by the tide of justice, and my life will once again be my own. Too bad, though, about the kid and the dog."

 

[Fading Fast]

... We haven't heard much from Barbara Hutton lately, so I guess her cousin will have to do. And this elephant thing is very very upsetting....

The "love" triangle is a Page Four 101 story - perfect for a cub reporter to cut his or her teeth on. "It's how you learn the business, kid, don't mess it up."

.. It's been over a year since we've seen Pat, and this is the big reveal? Somewhere, dear Raven is howling with laughter....

Spot-on book for Pat Ryan to be reading. Caniff really knows his characters.

...[
Didn't I see this whole plot in a screwball comedy in, I dunno, 1936?...

It would be hilarious if he just left her there. He might do that for weight reasons and come back and get her, but even funnier would be if he just flew out and went on with his life. "Girl, what girl? I don't know what you're talking about."

 

[LizzieMaine]

Great Britain will declare war on Japan "within the hour" if the United States is forced to fight in the Pacific. So stated Prime Minister Winston Churchill today in a declaration that Britain's naval power in the Pacific is sufficient to provide "powerful naval forces and heavy ships for action" in both the Pacific and Indian Oceans. The Prime Minister warned that "it would seem a very hazardous adventure for the Japanese people to plunge quite needlessly into a world struggle in which they will find themselves opposed in the Pacific by by states whose population comprises almost three-quarters of the human race." Mr. Churchill further stated that thanks to aid received from the United States, Britain is prepared "to strike with full power at the enemy." The Prime Minister asserted that the Royal Air Force is the equal of -- "if not superior to" -- the Luftwaffe, and firmly rejected in advance any anticipated "peace initiative" offered by which Adolf Hitler "and other Nazis who have let hell loose upon the world might try to escape the closing net of doom."

The British Admiralty announced today that the destroyer Cossack, hero of the Altmark encounter, and participant in the running battle against the German battleship Bismarck, has been sunk. The Admiralty did not disclose how, where, or when the destroyer was attacked. The ship carried a complement of 219 officers and men, and "next of kin of casualties have been notified."

Seven City Council candidates have been eliminated from consideration as the second stage of proportional representation ballot tabulation continues in Brooklyn. The elimination of candidates who failed to reach the 2000-vote threshold in first-place balloting leaves 24 of the original 31 aspirants still in the race, with second-place choices now being counted. Democratic incumbent Joseph V. Sharkey remains the leading vote-getter in the contest, and the addition of second-place votes has made no significant change in the ordering of candidates.

Mrs. Genevieve Earle was hospitalized today for "acute neuritis," and it is expected that the incumbent Fusionist City Councilman will be unable to attend the rest of the ballot counting. She is expected to remain at Manhattan Medical Center for three or four days.

One-time Prohibition-era beer baron Waxey Gordon is on his way back to New York from Los Angeles, by request of the Los Angeles District Attorney's office. Gordon, whose real name is Irving Wexler, was expelled from San Francisco last week by authorities there, and found that he was persona non grata in Los Angeles as well. Gordon stated that all he was trying to do on the Coast was establish a "legitimate cleaning fluid business," but in order to avoid "further embarassment" agreed to return to New York. Gordon served several years in Federal prison after he was convicted of evading taxes on his Prohibition fortune.

One hundred and seventy eight passengers who arrived from Lisbon yesterday aboard the American Export Liner Exeter are being held in quarantine for fear that the ship may be carrying smallpox and typhoid. Three passengers were taken to Ellis Island Hospital for further examination, and two crew members have been confined by authorities aboard the ship. The measures have been taken in response to epidemics now reported to be raging in Portugal and Spain.

A skeleton found in the woods in the Catskills town of Monticello may be that of a Brooklyn man missing since last June. Papers bearing the name of Harold Nulty, formerly of 1102 Bedford Avenue, were reported to have been found with the bones. Police say the man died of natural causes. Police at the Gates Avenue station in Bushwick have located a Mrs. Mary Nulty who formerly lived at that Bedford Avenue address, and reports that Harold Nulty, aged 41, was her son, a former WPA worker who went upstate to seek employment as a farmhand. Mrs. Nulty told police she had not heard from him since he left home.

Twelve bodies have been extracted from the wreckage of an express train at Dunkirk, Ohio, and a Brooklyn man was injured. Nineteen year old Henry Blumenthal of 949 46th Street in Borough Park was on his way back to Brooklyn aboard the Chicago-to-New York flyer Pennsylvanian, after leaving his sales job with a Chicago firm. His sister stated that Blumenthal had worked in show business before going to Chicago and was coming back east in hopes of securing local bookings. The train, moving at approximately 70 miles an hour, jumped the tracks at 10:22 last night near the Dunkirk station. Of the twelve known dead, eleven were passengers, and a total of 42 persons were injured in the wreck with their injuries not reported to be serious. Among the dead was a Bronx man, 61 year old Henry Helles of 181 East 161st Street, with five other residents of the metropolitan area reported to be among the injured.

Employees of two Brooklyn sugar refineries will go on strike at midnight on Friday if demands including a wage increase of 15 cents an hour are not met. A total of 1000 workers at the American Sugar Refining Company and the Sucrest Sugar Refining Company, members of Local 146 of the Sugar Refinery Workers Union, a division of the International Longshoremen's Association AFL, have been working without a contract since October 1st. It is reported that both firms have offered wage increases of ten cents an hour.

Blizzards, sleet, and mud outside Leningrad have immobilized German forces in several sectors, but heavy fighting continues, with the Berlin High Command claiming that German units have taken the vital rail junction of Tikvin, southwest of the city. Reports from London state that it is still an open question as to whether German forces will launch a new offensive against Moscow under present weather conditions, or if those troops will be shifted south, or to "winter quarters." Reports received in Britain state that Soviet forces are holding the line on both the Moscow and Leningrad fronts.

(Because nothing says "Armistice Day" like a new set of sateen-lined floor-length drapes.)

Two Brooklyn sanitation workers will be decorated for heroism by Mayor LaGuardia this week. Vincenzo Sorice and James Guarnieri of Sanitation District 45 were on their rounds in Brownsville on November 1, 1940 when they noticed smoke coming from the back of a house at 240 Snediker Avenue. Entering the house they encountered a fleeing woman screaming that her baby was still inside. Finding that flames blocked the stairway, the two workers groped blindly thru acrid smoke until they found the baby sleeping in a carriage and carried the child to safety. They then returned and assisted other tenants in the burning building to safety. Sorice and Guarneri will receive the Sanitation Department Medal of Valor on the steps of City Hall, Wednesday at 12:30 pm.

("Hey!" says Joe. "We need ta gett'is doll fa' Leonora. Who d'we know don't take t'Eagle?" "Well," says Sally, "I don' t'ink my brutta does. I don' t'ink t'ey make d'liveries where he is." "Well, maybe we oughta write to t'warden?" offers Joe. "T'EY AIN'T NO WARDEN!" huffs Sally. "He's inna CCC! How many times I gotta tell ya?" "Oh," says Joe. "When's he gettin' out?" "Six mont's," sighs Sally. "Or t'ree on good behavya!")

(Somebody wrote in recently accusing Helen of being a fake. "Hah!" says Doc Brady. "THEY HAVE NO IDEA!")

("Well, it's not like he's using them!")

(That's our Larry, always on the moooooooooooove.)

(They couldn't care less about the flashlight, they just want to know where he got that snazzy sweater.)

(Nah, it's just Sibyl Dardanella, wondering where she misplaced her latest husband.)

("Hey, hayseed -- my face is up here.")

(And just as Dan lets go, the pilot looks around wondering what happened to his knapsack. Had his lunch in it, a thermos of coffee, and everything. Oh well.)

 

[LizzieMaine]

And in the Daily News...

And they lived happily ever after.

Sevastopol's lovely this time of year.

The other night while going home from work I noticed a pair of pants, belt included, abandoned on the sidewalk in front of a bar. Now I know why.

Unless Punj thought to put a keel on that raft to keep it upside-up, I question the physics.

"This is screwy. Oh wait. Isn't that Dick Tracy? Never mind."

Just once I want to see Bim open up one of these money bags and have his laundry fall out.

Pat is *working for* the DL? Don't get your nice white suit dirty!

Beefcake!

Says the man whose blood is three parts gin and one part tonic.

Lana?

 

[Fading Fast]

...Mrs. Genevieve Earle was hospitalized today for "acute neuritis," and it is expected that the incumbent Fusionist City Councilman will be unable to attend the rest of the ballot counting. She is expected to remain at Manhattan Medical Center for three or four days....

Doesn't Doctor Brady have a pamphlet for that?

...A skeleton found in the woods in the Catskills town of Monticello may be that of a Brooklyn man missing since last June. Papers bearing the name of Harold Nulty, formerly of 1102 Bedford Avenue, were reported to have been found with the bones. Police say the man died of natural causes. Police at the Gates Avenue station in Bushwick have located a Mrs. Mary Nulty who formerly lived at that Bedford Avenue address, and reports that Harold Nulty, aged 41, was her son, a former WPA worker who went upstate to seek employment as a farmhand. Mrs. Nulty told police she had not heard from him since he left home....

A forty-one-year-old farm hand dies of natural causes. Sure, maybe, but perhaps a little investigation is in order.

...Blizzards, sleet, and mud outside Leningrad have immobilized German forces in several sectors, but heavy fighting continues, with the Berlin High Command claiming that German units have taken the vital rail junction of Tikvin, southwest of the city. Reports from London state that it is still an open question as to whether German forces will launch a new offensive against Moscow under present weather conditions, or if those troops will be shifted south, or to "winter quarters." Reports received in Britain state that Soviet forces are holding the line on both the Moscow and Leningrad fronts....

The winter sounds bad, but fortunately, after this winter, they'll only have four more winters and, then, it will all be over.

... View attachment 377380
(Because nothing says "Armistice Day" like a new set of sateen-lined floor-length drapes.)...

"Overcoats...cut in the latest collegiate styles."

It's pretty amazing that for about five decades ('20s-early '60s), men's clothing styles took their cues from what college kids were wearing.

...
("Hey!" says Joe. "We need ta gett'is doll fa' Leonora. Who d'we know don't take t'Eagle?" "Well," says Sally, "I don' t'ink my brutta does. I don' t'ink t'ey make d'liveries where he is." "Well, maybe we oughta write to t'warden?" offers Joe. "T'EY AIN'T NO WARDEN!" huffs Sally. "He's inna CCC! How many times I gotta tell ya?" "Oh," says Joe. "When's he gettin' out?" "Six mont's," sighs Sally. "Or t'ree on good behavya!")...

"I don' t'ink t'ey make d'liveries where he is." LOL, Sally rarely understates anything except when it comes to her "brutta."

... ("Hey, hayseed -- my face is up here.")...

To be fair here, if you choose to wear that dress...

... And they lived happily ever after....

They'd adjust perfectly to 2021 social media as they invited a freakin' newspaper reporter to their "reconciliation" lunch. Today, they could just post about it themselves.

...
The other night while going home from work I noticed a pair of pants, belt included, abandoned on the sidewalk in front of a bar. Now I know why....

In my nearly thirty years of living in NYC, the two oddest items of "abandoned" clothing I've seen the most are sneakers (sometimes just one) and panties. The latter I understand, what's with all the discarded sneakers?

...
Just once I want to see Bim open up one of these money bags and have his laundry fall out....

The Scrooge McDuck visual is a perennial crowd pleaser.

.... Pat is *working for* the DL? Don't get your nice white suit dirty!...

I assume Pat doesn't know about Raven yet. That's not an easy thing for Terry to have to tell him.

 

[ChiTownScion]

"Lana?"

Too good to be true. More likely, Lillums.

 

[LizzieMaine]

Immediate consideration by the House Ways and Means Committee of new tax legislation appeared totally foreclosed today despite a warning by President Roosevelt that the alternative may be uncontrollable inflation. Committee Chairman Robert L. Doughton (D-North Carolina) politely but firmly rejected a request by the President for immediate action on new taxes intended to curb rising prices. Rep. Doughton pointed out that the Committee is already devoting its full attention the President's price control bill, due to come before the House for debate next week, and have therefore already voted to defer action on any new tax bills. The decision by the committee to defer action came last week following an informal presentation by Treasury Secretary Henry Morgenthau of a new $4,800,000,000 revenue program embracing a new at-the-source income tax that urged its immediate consideration. It has been observed that Ways and Means Committee members, all of whom, like the rest of Congress, are up for re-election next year, may be reluctant to face the political potentialities of enacting such a stiff program on the heels of the $3,500,000,000 revenue bill enacted only two months ago.

United Mine Workers president John L. Lewis appears headed for a clash today between his push for a union shop in coal mines owned by the steel companies and President Roosevelt's position opposing strikes that impact the National Defense effort. Mr. Lewis, from his home near Alexandria, Virginia, had no comment last night on the National Defense Mediation Board's ruling rejecting the closed shop plan by a 9 to 2 vote, with only the two board members representing the CIO having voted in favor of that plan.

(I hope Milton Caniff is not working too far ahead.)

Twelve thousand Brooklyn war veterans marched today to mark Armistice Day in observance of the 23rd anniversary of the end of the first World War. More than 6000 American Legionnaires marched alongside representatives of other veterans' organizations from Grand Army Plaza to Borough Hall. All traffic halted across the borough at the stroke of 11 AM, for two minutes of silence in honor of World War dead.

Police are continuing their search for "the Honeymoon Couple," a man and a woman who have robbed Brooklyn apartment house managers of more than $2000 in recent weeks. The couple, posing as a newly-married pair just returned from their honeymoon trip, express interest in renting an apartment and while being led on a tour of the apartment, they slug the manager from behind. The most recent robbery, in Williamsburg, netted the pair approximately $60. The two "honeymooners" are believed to be the same pair who used similar methods to rob several Flatbush apartment managers of between $2000 and $3000 several months ago.

In London, England a madman went on a rampage with a Tommy gun yesterday, opening fire at random from a moving car on people walking along the sidewalk. One man, in the city's Chiswick section, was killed in the attack. At least eight other persons were wounded.

("Aw, t'at was fun," recalls Joe. "I remembeh watchin alla big kids wennout an' shot off firewoiks, an' hung t' Kaiseh offa light pole. 'Course, it wa'n t'real Kaiseh. It was jus' somebody's BVDs stuffed wit' newspapehs, wit' a pillacase f' a head. T'ey tried t'set fiah to it, butta cop senn'm home." "I don' remembeh much about it," reflects Sally. "B'tween me an' my brutt'a havin'a influenza an' Pa not comin' home, it din' seem too much to get excited 'bout. I jus' remembeh Ma settin' in a kitchen chair an' lookin' outta winda watchin' people runnin' aroun' Rogehs Aveneh. Annen she shut t'windeh an' went ta bed. 'Sfunny how ya r'emembeh som'pn like'at.")

All the independent candidates have been eliminated from the race to represent Brooklyn on the City Council, as tabulation of proportional representation ballots continues. The remaining eighteen candidates left after tabulation of second-choice votes are all affiliated with political parties. Democrats hold seven of the top ten positions on the list as of this morning, along with Fusionist Genevieve Earle, Communist Peter Cacchione, and right-wing Laborist Louis Goldberg. It is possible that the final tabulation of votes may be completed tonight, with the nine leading vote-getters to receive council seats.

(Gambling? In Bensonhurst? "Magin'nat!" marvels Joe.)

(Basil Rathbone as "Carla Nillson?" That must be quite a disguise.)

(The Lichtys are fighting again. Always happens as the holidays draw near.)

(Little Douglas there will in fact grow up to play in the majors, as a backup catcher for the Dodgers and the Senators, and will spend many years as a bullpen coach and minor-league instructor for the Red Sox. He will attain a lifetime batting average of .199. Not .200. .199. Some things just aren't meant to be.)

(Those supercharged cars are pretty fragile in the front end.)

(Ah. For a moment we thought you were Bubbles Honeyheels the Secretary of Labor.)

(This thing she does leaning her neck into her shoulder like that makes my nerves pinch just thinking of it. She must have a rubber spine.)

(Yeah, well, now let's see you figure out how to unbuckle the parachute.)

 

[LizzieMaine]

And in the Daily News...


But I thought city bankers moved to the country because they loved to plant seeds in the cool brown earth and then see the little shoots raise their precious green leaves to the sunny skies.

There's got to be a movie in this.

When I had a slipped disc it didn't work at all. A bag of frozen peas, now that worked, but Ben-Gay didn't do a thing for me. SO THERE.

There is no way this raft would remain that flat with Punj standing up like that. Not even if Bill Slagg himself wills it so!

Requiem for a Gum Girl.

"Keep it up, kid -- I need a good office boy!"

It'll be even worse when Bim can't get his foot loose.

Bedside manner.

Skip town? That's not Emmy's style. Whatever happpened to slapping their sassy faces?

Say what you will about Lil, but she's got the balance of a cat.

 

[Fading Fast]

...In London, England a madman went on a rampage with a Tommy gun yesterday, opening fire at random from a moving car on people walking along the sidewalk. One man, in the city's Chiswick section, was killed in the attack. At least eight other persons were wounded....

This story feels more 2021 than 1941.

...Police are continuing their search for "the Honeymoon Couple," a man and a woman who have robbed Brooklyn apartment house managers of more than $2000 in recent weeks. The couple, posing as a newly-married pair just returned from their honeymoon trip, express interest in renting an apartment and while being led on a tour of the apartment, they slug the manager from behind. The most recent robbery, in Williamsburg, netted the pair approximately $60. The two "honeymooners" are believed to be the same pair who used similar methods to rob several Flatbush apartment managers of between $2000 and $3000 several months ago....

Whereas, this story feels more 1941 than 2021.

...
(Gambling? In Bensonhurst? "Magin'nat!" marvels Joe.)...

Gambling was underground everywhere in '41. What's kinda amazing is that, 80 years later, the only difference is we've made it all legal, so instead of spending money fighting it, the government now just takes its big cut and moves on.

...
(Ah. For a moment we thought you were Bubbles Honeyheels the Secretary of Labor.)...

What's with all the "inspector" stuff; I didn't make George out for an anglophile. I was hoping for George as Sam Spade and some good old American private detective noir stuff.

...
There's got to be a movie in this.....

Heck, Warner Bros. and MGM already made many pieces of this one in their early-'30s pre-codes.

... Requiem for a Gum Girl....

Steve can't catch a break since he's gotten out, first the incriminating pocketbook and now this. Geez, he might as well go back to a life of crime if this stuff keeps happening.

...[ "Keep it up, kid -- I need a good office boy!"...

Stop with all the ribbing, isn't he going to tell Pat about Raven? I feel bad for Pat, that's going to hit him hard.

... Say what you will about Lil, but she's got the balance of a cat.

Kudos @ChiTownScion, your call was spot on.

 

[LizzieMaine]

Abe "Kid Twist" Reles is dead, following a dramatic escape attempt this morning from the room where he was being held in custody at a Coney Island hotel. The Murder For Money Gang informant plunged to his death from a sixth-floor window of the Half Moon Hotel while attempting to climb down a rope of knotted bedsheets secured to a bedroom radiator by a piece of wire, which apparently gave way under his weight as Reles approached the fifth floor window sometime between 7 and 7:10 this morning. His body was discovered huddled on the deck below by a detective who had come to check on Reles, who was being held as a material witness in several pending cases.

It was unclear why Reles made an escape attempt at this particular time, after remaining in protective custody for nearly two years, during which time he was the key figure in District Attorney William O'Dwyer's prosecution of murder gang figures Harry "Pittsburgh Phil" Strauss and Martin "Buggsy" Goldstein, both of whom died in the electric chair earlier this year. It was rumored, however, that Reles was frightened at the prospect of testifying against Louis "Lepke" Buchalter, or that Reles had recently been offered a large sum of money to attempt an escape by an individual with an interest in the fate of Benjamin "Bugsy" Siegel, presently facing a murder indictment on the Coast. Police are aware that Meyer Lansky, a known Siegel associate, recently arrived in New York, but it is not known if Lansky attempted to contact Reles.

Assistant District Attorney Edward Heffernan issued a statement this morning describing the precautions that had been taken to guard Reles, noting that he has been under twenty-four hour supervision by three daily shifts of detectives made up of five men each, and that Reles was visited in his room by detectives every fifteen minutes. Heffernan also reported that Reles has been in poor health in recent weeks, and has been upset by the recent death of his physician, under whose care his health had been improving. Reles was also visited by his wife last night between 10 and 11 o'clock, but police attach no significance to this visit. Three other material witnesses were reported to have been asleep in adjacent rooms at the time of Reles' death. Hefferan did not identify these men, but two of them are known to be Allie Tannenbaum and Sholem Bernstein, both of whom have testified in the Buchalter trial.

Abe Reles began his crime career as a petty thief and small-time strong-arm man. A squat Brownsville character with a love of the dramatic, Reles rose thru the criminal ranks in the 1930s after spending much of his youth in reformatories. By 1940, when he turned state's evidence against his former colleagues, Reles had been arrested 43 times, with only five convictions, and by his own confession, was responsible for the murder of 11 men. To the end, Reles, who declared that he had decided to mend his ways after the birth of his son, insisted that he was not a "squealer."

King George VI and Prime Minister Winston Churchill told Parliament today that Great Britain, with "unexampled American aid," is defeating Germany in the Battle of the Atlantic, and that the day is approaching when "a great new Allied fleet" will permit "a crushing blow against the Axis." Mr. Churchill also disclosed in his remarks that former number-two Nazi Rudolf Hess told British interrogators that Hitler's plan was to starve Great Britain into submission by cutting its seagoing supply lines, but that plan has been foiled by a sharp reduction in British shipping losses over 1941. The King observed in his remarks that the collaboration between Britain and the United States "has never been closer," and further praised "the heroic resistance of the Red Army" in its defense of the Soviet Union against Nazi invasion forces.

Leaders of the Big Five railroad unions agreed today to call a strike of 350,000 rail workers to enforce demands for a 30 percent wage increase. If no agreement is reached with railroad operators, the strike will begin on December 7th.

Meanwhile, representatives of the CIO have resigned from the National Defense Mediation Board in the wake of John Owens' resignation as Chief CIO Labor Relations Consultant for the Office of Production Management. It is believed that all of the resignations are in protest of the NDMB's refusal to support CIO United Mine Workers President John L. Lewis in his demands for a closed-shop contract governing the steel industry's captive coal mines.

Six Democrats, a Fusionist, a right-wing American Laborite, and a Communist will make up Brooklyn's 1942 delegation to the City Council following the completion of proportional-representation ballot tabulations last night. Communist Peter V. Cacchione gains a seat after two previous attempts. In 1937, Cacchione, an attorney by profession, missed election by only a few hundred votes, and in 1939 he earned an impressive write-in vote after being ruled off the ballot by the Board of Elections. Democrat Joseph T. Sharkey and Fusionist Genevieve Earle tied for the top vote, with 75,000 ballots each.

A three-alarm fire last night leveled a brick storage building owned by the Paragon Oil Company in Greenpoint, but swift action by firefighters prevented a holocaust by keeping the flames away from nine large oil-storage tanks near the building. Flames leaped hundreds of feet in the air by 7:30 PM, accompanied by huge billows of smoke, as firemen battled to confine the blaze. Along with the nine 100,000 gallon tanks, the fire also put at risk the nearby Socony-Vacuum Oil Company plant, located just 600 feet away from the Paragon facilities on the bank of Newtown Creek. It was reported that the fire was fueled by burning cans of motor oil inside the building. Fire Marshal Thomas Brophy reported that he found "nothing suspicious" about the fire.

In Macon, Georgia an arrest is predicted shortly in the mass poisoning of ten circus elephants, who died there from arsenic poisoning. Private Detective Edward Mullen, assigned to investigate the case by the Ringling Bros.-Barnum & Bailey Circus, called the poisonings "a clear case of mass murder of animals."

Authorities in Saginaw, Michigan are taking precautions against mob violence today as they prepare to arraign a 35 year old taxicab driver in the rape-murder of a 20-year-old woman. A crowd of 150 persons was reported to be milling outside the jail in Flint this morning in anticipation that accused killer Winford Smith will be transported to Saginaw for arraignment, and police both there and in Flint were taking steps to ensure he is not seized by the mob. Smith is charged with raping Miss Wanda Wheately on the night of November 3rd, and then beating her to death with a flashlight and a wooden stick because she threatened to have him arrested. He was tracked down and arrested after police located Miss Wheately's wristwatch at a local pawn shop. Smith is reported to have confessed to the rape and the murder, and told police that Wheatley, an operator for the Postal Telegraph Company, had hired him to drive her home.

(Get one while you can...)

(The Evans-Anderson production of The Scottish Play will be the definitive version of that play for an entire generation, and they'll later reprise it once for radio and twice for live television.)

(Eddie usually comes in around the middle of the pack in our annual competition, but we haven't seen too many other entries yet...)

("Society ladies" were well-known for engaging in commercial slumming by showing up on the back cover of "Liberty" in support of Camels. "Everyone's doing it dear, it's simply a scream!")

(It'd be nice to be able to say that Mr. Theodore S. Ballgame didn't seethe over this, but alas, he did. But note who came in 10th in the MVP voting -- none other than Leo's favorite golfer, Roy "Touring Pro" Cullenbine. Gee, Larry, sure would be nice to have a hard-hitting outfielder who always seems to get on base...)

(Spies? Hmph. I doubt it -- not a monocle between them!)

("He's older than me, but such a dear.")

("Oh, THAT OLD TRICK.")

(F-F-F-F....FAAAAAA...FAAAAACE EATING DOG!)

 

[LizzieMaine]

And in the Daily News...

Herbert Jay Freezer, wealthy cotton magnate and former stage-door johnny, is a man of many connections, more than a few of them illegitimate. I imagine "The Philanderer's Wife" will be an interesting book.

I don't think Mrs. Cordelia Biddle-Duke Robertson ever endorsed cigarettes. That ought to merit a mention too.

Among the many legacies of the Second World War is the ubiquity of Coca-Cola vending machines, which will first become omnipresent on wartime factory floors.

If this ends up with Warbucks complaining as he's tied to the back of a burro, I will forgive much.

What, just a common hood? C'mon, Milt, we expect a warlord or an Invader spymaster or a glowering Nazi agent. Leave the cheap punks to Tracy.

Look, I realize you guys are idiots and all, but what about, you know, organizing the bills into neat rolls? You know, like you could put in your pockets?

There are times when you realize just how good an artist Frank King really is.

I really don't want to think about what's happening here.

You know, I felt kind of sorry for Little Face when he ended up in the frozen-food locker and then had bees shoved in his face. I don't think I'll feel sorry for this guy.

Lil, you really shouldn't be walking around the house in your underwear.

 

[Fading Fast]

View attachment 377901

Abe "Kid Twist" Reles is dead, following a dramatic escape attempt this morning from the room where he was being held in custody at a Coney Island hotel. The Murder For Money Gang informant plunged to his death from a sixth-floor window of the Half Moon Hotel while attempting to climb down a rope of knotted bedsheets secured to a bedroom radiator by a piece of wire, which apparently gave way under his weight as Reles approached the fifth floor window sometime between 7 and 7:10 this morning. His body was discovered huddled on the deck below by a detective who had come to check on Reles, who was being held as a material witness in several pending cases.

It was unclear why Reles made an escape attempt at this particular time, after remaining in protective custody for nearly two years, during which time he was the key figure in District Attorney William O'Dwyer's prosecution of murder gang figures Harry "Pittsburgh Phil" Strauss and Martin "Buggsy" Goldstein, both of whom died in the electric chair earlier this year. It was rumored, however, that Reles was frightened at the prospect of testifying against Louis "Lepke" Buchalter, or that Reles had recently been offered a large sum of money to attempt an escape by an individual with an interest in the fate of Benjamin "Bugsy" Siegel, presently facing a murder indictment on the Coast. Police are aware that Meyer Lansky, a known Siegel associate, recently arrived in New York, but it is not known if Lansky attempted to contact Reles.

Assistant District Attorney Edward Heffernan issued a statement this morning describing the precautions that had been taken to guard Reles, noting that he has been under twenty-four hour supervision by three daily shifts of detectives made up of five men each, and that Reles was visited in his room by detectives every fifteen minutes. Heffernan also reported that Reles has been in poor health in recent weeks, and has been upset by the recent death of his physician, under whose care his health had been improving. Reles was also visited by his wife last night between 10 and 11 o'clock, but police attach no significance to this visit. Three other material witnesses were reported to have been asleep in adjacent rooms at the time of Reles' death. Hefferan did not identify these men, but two of them are known to be Allie Tannenbaum and Sholem Bernstein, both of whom have testified in the Buchalter trial.

Abe Reles began his crime career as a petty thief and small-time strong-arm man. A squat Brownsville character with a love of the dramatic, Reles rose thru the criminal ranks in the 1930s after spending much of his youth in reformatories. By 1940, when he turned state's evidence against his former colleagues, Reles had been arrested 43 times, with only five convictions, and by his own confession, was responsible for the murder of 11 men. To the end, Reles, who declared that he had decided to mend his ways after the birth of his son, insisted that he was not a "squealer."...

Apparently, Warners Bros is now writing the scripts for real life.

Also, somewhere, a young Mario Puzo is taking notes for a future novel.

...Leaders of the Big Five railroad unions agreed today to call a strike of 350,000 rail workers to enforce demands for a 30 percent wage increase. If no agreement is reached with railroad operators, the strike will begin on December 7th....

There will be other news to cover that day.

...Six Democrats, a Fusionist, a right-wing American Laborite, and a Communist will make up Brooklyn's 1942 delegation to the City Council following the completion of proportional-representation ballot tabulations last night. Communist Peter V. Cacchione gains a seat after two previous attempts. In 1937, Cacchione, an attorney by profession, missed election by only a few hundred votes, and in 1939 he earned an impressive write-in vote after being ruled off the ballot by the Board of Elections. Democrat Joseph T. Sharkey and Fusionist Genevieve Earle tied for the top vote, with 75,000 ballots each....

Six Democrats, a Fusionist, a right-wing American Laborite, and a Communist walk into a bar... (did I steal this joke from you, Lizzie? I have a faint feeling of deja vu.)

... (The Evans-Anderson production of The Scottish Play will be the definitive version of that play for an entire generation, and they'll later reprise it once for radio and twice for live television.)...

Ginger Rogers is, of course, the number-one dance partner for Astaire, but if any one is a close second, it's Rita Hayworth.

How much do they pay the script writers of Astaire movies? That's one easy job since there's basically all one script, just varied a bit, for almost all his movies.

...
(Eddie usually comes in around the middle of the pack in our annual competition, but we haven't seen too many other entries yet...)...

It does seem slow on the Thanksgiving-dinner-advertising front this year.

...
("Society ladies" were well-known for engaging in commercial slumming by showing up on the back cover of "Liberty" in support of Camels. "Everyone's doing it dear, it's simply a scream!")...

That exact thing pops up in the movie "The Hucksters."

..
("He's older than me, but such a dear.")...

I noticed that odd line too. Not sure where he was going with it.

Heck, if George had any skills at finding people, you'd think he find his daughter's missing husband (and his man-crush) first.

...
("Oh, THAT OLD TRICK.")...

Thinking about your comments the other day, Lizzie, and looking at panel one, I think Ms. Varden has some type of Bell's Palsy or something.

... (F-F-F-F....FAAAAAA...FAAAAACE EATING DOG!)

"Hello, is this Lizzie's Mom? This is Lizzie's principal. I'm sorry to call you, but we're going to have to increase the frequencies of little Lizzie's meeting with the school counselor. Also, we're consulting with a specialist in Manhattan. What?, that's not important What? well, he's from Bellevue. No, no don't start packing a bag for her, he's coming out just to meet with her at the school. No, we don't need you to sign any release forms, Lizzie will be coming home at her usual time. Yes, I understand, you're willing to sign any forms necessary for her to go away, good to know. Well, goodbye, it's been, umm, interesting speaking with you. Huh? yes, I'm sure she'll be coming home this afternoon." [Hangs up phone and thinks to himself] Jeez, no wonder the kid's like she is.

...[ Look, I realize you guys are idiots and all, but what about, you know, organizing the bills into neat rolls? You know, like you could put in your pockets?....

They're all Scrooge McDucks.

...
Lil, you really shouldn't be walking around the house in your underwear.

Third step-ins sighting in three weeks. As you say, Lizzie, "Hey kids! Comics!"

 

[LizzieMaine]

Five police officers assigned to guard Abe "Kid Twist" Reles have been broken to the lowest rank of uniformed patrol duty by Police Commissioner Lewis J. Valentine following an order by Mayor LaGuardia for a thorough investigation of the circumstances that allowed Reles to fall to his death from a sixth-floor window at the Half Moon Hotel. "I have directed that charges of neglect of duty be preferred against the five members of this department, three detectives and two patrolmen, assigned to this hotel at the time of the attempted escape," announced the Commissioner this morning. "I have also directed the transfer of the detectives from the detective division to regular uniformed patrol duty, and the discontinuance of the temporary assignment of the patrolmen to the detective division and that they be returned forthwith to their patrol precincts."

Meanwhile, it was learned today that an emissary of Benjamin "Bugsy" Siegel, prominent gangland figure now facing murder charges in California, believed by police to have offered Reles "a substantial sum of money" if he made good his escape, has left the city just ahead of the Mayor's announcement of the investigation into Reles' death. It is reported that the Siegel envoy, identified as hoodlum Meyer Lansky, was accompanied by "several California strong-arm men," likely brought along to assist in murdering Reles had he successfully escaped from the hotel.

Mayor LaGuardia ordered the probe of Reles' death from LaGuardia Field just before boarding a plane for Washington. "I have been opposed to this method of guarding star witnesses for the past eight years," declared the Mayor after announcing the investigation, "particularly if the witnesses are under indictment, but there is no other way. I don't like it."

President Roosevelt and administration leaders are fighting down the line today with all the resources at their command to muster the necessary House votes to secure passage of the Neutrality Act amendments to allow the arming of US merchant ships. Seeing passage of those amendments as a crucial test of his administration's foreign policy, the President today warned the House that rejection of the amendments would lead to "rejoicing in the Axis nations." Meanwhile, the House itself presented its most dramatic and active scene in years as member after member stepped to the microphones to attempt to sway their colleagues with speeches. It appears the bill will come down to a "photo finish" when the final vote is taken this afternoon.

The President is expected to issue a "sweeping fiat" today against strikes in the defense industry as "a runaway Congress," alarmed over threats of coal and railroad walkouts, set the stage for enactment of anti-strike laws without waiting for a White House signal. The President is expected to lay down the law to United Mine Workers president John L. Lewis in a meeting tomorrow, during which Mr. Roosevelt will advise Mr. Lewis that he is prepared to use troops if necessary to prevent strikes that may interfere with defense work.

A strong tank-supported Russian counterattack on the Moscow front was reported today, but Nazi sources claimed steady progress against fortifications at Kerch, Crimean gateway to the Caucasus. The official German DNB news agency asserted that counterattacks were repulsed in fierce fighting.

The first woman elected as a Democrat to the City Council today denounced the proportional representation system of voting that earned her her seat. Mrs. Rita Casey of Flatbush paused today while painting her kitchen at 157 Sullivan Place before taking up the business of city housekeeping, to call proportional representation "the most un-American and diabolical system yet devised to hoodwink the American voter." Mrs. Casey blamed proportional representation for the fall of France, declaring that "when the majority rule is turned down and minorities are in control, there is bound to be chaos."

Attempts are underway to prevent Brooklyn Communist Peter V. Cacchione from taking his seat on the City Council. "Certainly he should not be entitled to a Council seat," declared Councilman John A. Devaney, Jr. (D-Bronx), "and if the Council lacks the power to bar him, the State Legislature should provide it with that power." Mr. Devaney, author of the Devaney Act barring Communists from civil service employment in the city, offered to sponsor such legislation if necessary. Mr. Cacchione, who earned a council seat on his third try, declined to comment on Mr. Devaney's remarks, and stated that his Councilmanic goals will include working to make Brooklyn a center of National Defense "in line with President Roosevelt's policy of defending democracy at home and maintaining it everywhere in the world."

(I remember that accident last year and I remember wondering "isn't there a gate at that crossing? SHOULDN'T THERE BE???")

Comedian W. C. Fields today ended a 42-year habit by announcing his renunciation of liquor, and delivered a strong warning concerning his personal experiences with Demon Rum. Mr. Fields, who has been known to eject from his home anyone mentioning the word "water," and who becomes ill at the sight of a soda fountain, stated that he has been ordered by his physician to abstain forever more from hard drink, and estimated that his habit has cost him more than $185,000, a fact which disgusted him, especially since he "could never get drunk." Mr. Fields noted that he had tried to quit two years ago after a bout of pneumonia nearly killed him, but said that he'd been terrorized by the D. T.'s, in the form of "little men in whiskers and high hats" who harrassed him.

(George Bungle, are you listening?)

(Until 1940, Pepsi was packaged in second-hand beer bottles. Things are looking up.)

(After seeing this ad, I don't think I can ever eat a Thanksgiving turkey again.)

(I know tapioca flour helped mess up my grandfather's lungs, but I had no idea it could cause massive cranial swelling like that.)

(Well, I mean, after all, he is a Senator, not a Representative.)

(It'll be interesting to see how this "Brooklyn Americans" marketing scheme will work out, given they don't actually play in Brooklyn, and there isn't much chance they will anytime soon. But it's either that or spend the winter fretting about Chuck Dressen's job possibilities.)

(It's nice they left his moustache unbandged. I bet it'd hurt to have to pull the tape off.)

(Only thing worse than a gremlin is a gremlin with a libido.)

(Admit it, Tom, you set this all up. Even the duck in the crate knows what's going on.)

(FACE EATING....ah, nuts.)

 

[LizzieMaine]

And in the Daily News...

How much smell can you cram into a single story? Does anyone seriously buy any of this?

There's A New World Coming.

"But we have the plane!" Poor Bill can't stand not being the center of attention.

Duke's expression says it all.

It just seems to me there'd have to be an easier place for a cheesy hood to make a living than WAR TORN CHINA.

Seriously, how does Bim get his money to stick in a fluffy cloud like that? Static electricity? Spirit gum? Staples?

Women have long made up the majority of the workforce in America's small-parts-assembly plants. Seriously, Skeez, you mean you didn't know?

Poor Emmy.

Finally Harold is no longer interested in romance! At last he's learned to sublimate his youthful yearnings into his collection of dazzling overcoats.