The Era -- Day By Day

[LizzieMaine]

And a whole bunch of "and alsos"...

At least she could deduct the furniture as a business expense...

Fascinating. McDonald in his Saturday Evening Post article suggested that the board wasn't happy about the Newsom deal, but this is the first bold statement that it was the actual end of the line for MacPhail. What will Mr. Parrott have to say about this??? Oh, and "if we do it will be with the men we now have on the squad?" We'll hold you to that, Mr. Rickey.

And finally...

Just another day in 1943.

 

[Fading Fast]

...

A Nassau County police sergeant whose impulsive gesture of irritation toward a friend a little over a month ago cost that friend an eye has taken his own life. Sgt. John B. Lewis was found dead last night in the bedroom of his Inwood home, seated in a chair with a flexible gas tube in his mouth. That tube ran under the bedroom door into the kitchen, where it connected to a jet on the gas range. Lewis had been despondent since June 1st, when he threw a teletype file book at his friend, Patrolman John Kemmler, and struck him in the left eye, injuring that eye so severely it had to be removed. Sgt. Lewis was annoyed, he told investigatators, because Ptl. Kemmler forgot to bring him a package of cigarettes he had promised to purchase while out on a radio car assignment.
...

Jesus

...

("Come weez me to zee.....oh. Well then. Never mind.")
...

1938's "Algiers," staring Charles Boyer and Hedy Lamar is one of those romanticized Hollywood movies about the Casbah.

...

Indictments were returned yesterday in Manhattan Federal Court against three men accused of smuggling $4500 worth of industrial-grade diamonds to Nazi Germany. Charged were 36-year-old Werner F. Trinler, described as "a Swiss publicity man and former ski instructor at the Jug End Barn in Great Barrington, Mass.," and 23-year old Harry Strygler, a former gem merchant now serving in the Army at Camp Upton. Also indicted on a charge of submitting false statements to the War Production Board that he intended to use the diamonds in his own business was gem cutter Harry Smith. Only Trinler is now in custody, but all three men are expected to face arraignment shortly. It was revealed by the indictments against the men that the Germans require industrial diamonds in such quantity that they paid $200,000 for the $4500 consignment.
...

"It was revealed by the indictments against the men that the Germans require industrial diamonds in such quantity that they paid $200,000 for the $4500 consignment."

Challenge.

...

The Eagle Editorialist congratulates Harry James and Betty Grable on their marriage, declaring that the nuptials mean that "things will be a lot less complicated from here on," now that we don't have to worry about that particular romance and can concentrate again on less important matters. "Like the war."
...

The Eagle Editorialist woke up in a feisty mood today.

...

(AMERICA'S NUMBER ONE HERO DOG IS ALWAS ALER.....zzzzzzz....)
...

"This is what I'm talking about. If you want to be a top dog (tee-hee) in this business, you need to have an iron discipline over your mind and body and not fall asleep on the job"

"Didn't you fall asleep and miss the entire submarine caper where Annie was captured and nearly killed?"

"That was different. I was under doctor's orders to nap frequently to address my anxiety issues."

"That's so much better, Mr. Discipline."

And in the Daily News...

That's all, folks.
...

Hannah's gonna need to find another rich husband and fast. The entire coverage of this trial has been confusing, at least for me, from the start. Honestly, I thought it was already over until today.

...

These small town short-lines never run on time.
...

We already knew 88 Keys is not the sharpest tool in the shed, but you'd think even he would be smart enough to wait in a less-conspicuous place.

And a whole bunch of "and alsos"...

At least she could deduct the furniture as a business expense...
...

If she really went broke buying expensive furniture for her high-priced whorehouses, then she's an idiot. High-priced whorehouses don't fail because of thin margins; they fail because running an illegal business has many risk - raids, expensive bribes, whistleblowers, etc. - but not because you couldn't cover the cost of the furniture.

...

Just another day in 1943.

New York's Picture Newspaper.

 

[FOXTROT LAMONT]

The Edward Haight column overshadowed Terrence. Now contrast this beast with those rats who raped Ms O'Brien,
all of whom are either conscription age or Haight's seventeen years but were sentenced to reform school.

 

[LizzieMaine]

(In the Bedford Avenue offices of F. Leary & Sons Plumbing and Heating, Uncle Frank pushes back from his desk, his oaken swivel chair creaking as he turns to face his visitor. "Do I get ye right, Joseph?" he asks, his voice taking on a careful but incredulous tone. "T'at's what I said, Uncle Frank," Joe continues. "I want you should teach me how t'shoot a gun." Uncle Frank's eyes narrow as he considers this request, but his practiced grin remains hearty. "Aaaaaand why," he slowly replies, "would ye be waantin' a thing loike that from the loikes a' me? Whaat doos a simmple olld plumbaaar know about gonns?"" "Well," Joe insists, "Sal tol' me one time t'at when she an' Mickey was kids, you took'm out't Dead Hawrse Bay an' taught'm how'ta shoot a gun. Sal says she was pretty good at it." "Wallll, then," counters Uncle Frank, "Why don't ye ask HER to show ye?" "Well, f'one t'ing," responds Joe, "we ain' got a gun. Mickey lef' one at t'house one time, an' we haddit inna drawer, but we din' have no poimit, an' it made us noivous, so afteh he wen' inna Awrmy I took it down an' hocked it. An' f'ra'nutteh t'ing, well, I don' wan' Sal t'know nut'n 'bout 'tis. See, I know an' she knows an' ev'rybody knows I'm prob'ly gonna end up get'n drafted pretty soon, an' -- well -- I do'wanna look like some kin'a chump, y'know? I don' know nut'n 'bout shoot'n, fight'n, nut'n like t'at, so I figgeh if I take some less'ns foist, I'll get kin' of a head stawrt. An' b'sides, I mean -- you seen'a papeh today? T'stuff t'at's goin' on in town heeh? It makes me noivous." Uncle Frank's eyes pop ever so momentarily as his gaze flicks to the BORO POLICE HOT ON POLICY KING headline. "Ahhhh, whot ye mean by that, me boy?" he forces himself to chuckle. "You know," shrugs Joe. "I mean, look'it t'at -- some guy goin' aroun' whackin' people wit' a piece 'a wood. Alla time sump'n new. I worry. An'nen, a'cawrse, t'wawr..." "Well, me boy, Oi'll tell ye what. Let me think this ovaar, and I'll let ye know what moit be done." "Liss'n," says Joe "Write t'is down. BEachview 2-9371. "T'at'sa numbeh f' Schreibstein's, t'at's a canny stoeh downa block f'm wheah we live. Y'c'n leave a message t'eh. Sal won' know a t'ing. Awright, look, I gotta get t'woik, so please t'ink t'is oveh, right? T'anks!" Uncle Frank nods as Joe departs, and the instant the door closes his grin vanishes. He grabs the telephone, dials an INgersoll number, and waits nervously for the answer. "H'lo, Nora," he snaps as soon as it comes. "Listen caref'lly...")

Drought conditions in the western grasslands this summer may mean the end to the New York City meat shortage, as ranchers are forced to divert a flood of cattle on the hoof to market. The good news for consumers will be bad news for cattlemen, however, for if the price of feed becomes too high, the resulting packers' market jam may leave the ranchers, who have been holding out for higher prices, caught short in a depressed market. This expected break in the damming-up of the meat supply may occur within the next two weeks, but not later than six, according to meat and livestock experts, even as a Senatorial committee in Washington upholding food subsidies removed some chances of a jump in meat prices for the consumer.

A copyreader for the Daily News is under indictment today by a Federal grand jury on charges that, for ten years prior to Pearl Harbor, he acted as a paid agent of the Japanese Government , and that he failed to comply with the law requiring the registration of all foreign agents. Frederck Helzer Wright of Flushing had formerly been night telegraph editor and a contributing columnist for the News. The indictment notes that Wright's supervisors at the Manhattan tabloid knew nothing of his activities on behalf of the Japanese Government, and that it was part of his agreement with his Japanese employers that he should keep his employers from knowing of those activities. The indictment further charges that Wright used his position at the paper to cause the publication in the Daily and Sunday News of articles "concerning Japanese subjects," and that he was paid between $300 and $500 a month for his services, along with upkeep on a special office maintained at 90 Broad Street in Manhattan, opposite the Japanese Consulate, an office rented in the name of Wright's father Joseph, who was a registered agent of the Japanese Government. Other duties charged in the indictment include investigation of Communist activity on behalf of Japan, and writing speeches and letters for Japanese consuls and vice consuls along the East Coast. Wright has worked for the News since 1927, and took a leave of absence from the paper in 1935, during which he traveled to Japan and made an unsuccessful attempt to get employment with the Japanese Foreign Office. He returned to the News in 1936, where he became night telegraph editor for six years before he was transferred to the copy desk in 1942. It is stated that Wright made his initial connections with the Japanese Government thru Walker Gray Matheson, a former News employee who is presently serving a seven-year term in Federal Prison for failing to register as a foreign agent. If convicted, Wright faces a maximum sentence of 10 years imprisonment and a $5000 fine.

(Can't we all just GET ALONG??????)

A London political magazine suggests that Reichsmarshal Hermann Goering personally ordered that the plane carrying actor Leslie Howard be shot down over the Bay of Biscay in reprisal for Howard's role in the anti-Nazi film "Pimpernel Smith." An aritcle appearing in the current issue of "New Statesman and Nation" notes that the Nazis know the identities of all passengers aboard all flights departing from Lisbon, and that they would have been well aware of Howard's presence on the plane. "From what we know of Goering," states the article, "the idea may be more than fanciful."

("A war picture with all the horrid realism left out." There's a lot of that going around.)

("I wonder if he's ever considered rubbing some of that miracle fertilizer on the top of his head?")

Coffee rationing will continue at least until winter, according to experts at the Office of Price Administration. Amplifying the President's recent suggestion that coffee may soon be withdrawn from the ration list, the OPA stressed that, even though coffee shipments have improved in recent weeks, ration officials would have to be absolutely convinced of the virtual elimination of the submarine menace as a guarantee of good shipments for a long time before a decision will be made.

("HAH!" hahs Sally. "Petey hit a triple! T'at'll show t'at fathead RIckey!" "Want I should send a telegram?" pipes up Alice. "Nah," replies Sally, her mouth a hard line. "But les' sen' one t'Petey, let 'im know he ain' f'gott'n!" "Oh," says Alice. "I awredy done t'at. Soon'sa game was oveh las' night, I run oveh t'Schriebstein's an' cawled it in. But I lef' me key onna bureau, an' I got locked out. Hadda crawl up onna fieh 'scape an' rap onna windeh f' Misteh G t'let me in." "I bet he liked t'tat," eyerolled Sally. "Oh, he din' mind," shrugs Alice. "I said I was sawry, an' he looks at me an'ne says sump'n like 'nem zich a' vaneh.' I t'ink t'at mus' mean 's'awright,' sum'pn like t'at." "It's a real edjehcation f'you livin' downeah," chuckles Sally. "Oh, it is," nods Alice with a broad grin. "It really is!")

("She's doin' two to five upstate f'runnin' bingo games!")

(If Gargantua works so does Mrs. Gargantua!)

("Wait, you only brought one car??? OH WELL SQUEEZE IN!")

(CITY ORDERS ROUNDUP OF RABID DOGS.)

(Well, you could just take out the bulb...)

 

[LizzieMaine]

And in the Daily News...

"Fool" isn't the word for it.

The wonders of wartime science.

88 Keyes records are about to become valuable collectors' items.

Don't look so smug, Patrick. Connie can speak fluent Cantonese, fluent Mandarin, and multiple local dialects. How 'bout you??

Oh, just one of those things.

And so begins Wolf's journey of self discovery.

Ohhhh, Min.

Well, that explains the furniture bills...

Hey look, his hairline's receding.

Serves ya right for going to a saloon. Next time try a candy store.

 

[Fading Fast]

...

A copyreader for the Daily News is under indictment today by a Federal grand jury on charges that, for ten years prior to Pearl Harbor, he acted as a paid agent of the Japanese Government , and that he failed to comply with the law requiring the registration of all foreign agents. Frederck Helzer Wright of Flushing had formerly been night telegraph editor and a contributing columnist for the News. The indictment notes that Wright's supervisors at the Manhattan tabloid knew nothing of his activities on behalf of the Japanese Government, and that it was part of his agreement with his Japanese employers that he should keep his employers from knowing of those activities. The indictment further charges that Wright used his position at the paper to cause the publication in the Daily and Sunday News of articles "concerning Japanese subjects," and that he was paid between $300 and $500 a month for his services, along with upkeep on a special office maintained at 90 Broad Street in Manhattan, opposite the Japanese Consulate, an office rented in the name of Wright's father Joseph, who was a registered agent of the Japanese Government. Other duties charged in the indictment include investigation of Communist activity on behalf of Japan, and writing speeches and letters for Japanese consuls and vice consuls along the East Coast. Wright has worked for the News since 1927, and took a leave of absence from the paper in 1935, during which he traveled to Japan and made an unsuccessful attempt to get employment with the Japanese Foreign Office. He returned to the News in 1936, where he became night telegraph editor for six years before he was transferred to the copy desk in 1942. It is stated that Wright made his initial connections with the Japanese Government thru Walker Gray Matheson, a former News employee who is presently serving a seven-year term in Federal Prison for failing to register as a foreign agent. If convicted, Wright faces a maximum sentence of 10 years imprisonment and a $5000 fine.
...

This story should have some interesting follow up. And let's move quickly past this "failing to register as a foreign agent" stuff and right on to treason.

...

A London political magazine suggests that Reichsmarshal Hermann Goering personally ordered that the plane carrying actor Leslie Howard be shot down over the Bay of Biscay in reprisal for Howard's role in the anti-Nazi film "Pimpernel Smith." An aritcle appearing in the current issue of "New Statesman and Nation" notes that the Nazis know the identities of all passengers aboard all flights departing from Lisbon, and that they would have been well aware of Howard's presence on the plane. "From what we know of Goering," states the article, "the idea may be more than fanciful."
...

If this, "the Nazis know the identities of all passengers aboard all flights departing from Lisbon," is true, why didn't they just shoot down the plane carrying Victor Laszlo and Ilsa Lund?

...
("HAH!" hahs Sally. "Petey hit a triple! T'at'll show t'at fathead RIckey!" "Want I should send a telegram?" pipes up Alice. "Nah," replies Sally, her mouth a hard line. "But les' sen' one t'Petey, let 'im know he ain' f'gott'n!" "Oh," says Alice. "I awredy done t'at. Soon'sa game was oveh las' night, I run oveh t'Schriebstein's an' cawled it in. But I lef' me key onna bureau, an' I got locked out. Hadda crawl up onna fieh 'scape an' rap onna windeh f' Misteh G t'let me in." "I bet he liked t'tat," eyerolled Sally. "Oh, he din' mind," shrugs Alice. "I said I was sawry, an' he looks at me an'ne says sump'n like 'nem zich a' vaneh.' I t'ink t'at mus' mean 's'awright,' sum'pn like t'at." "It's a real edjehcation f'you livin' downeah," chuckles Sally. "Oh, it is," nods Alice with a broad grin. "It really is!")
...

Sally should be worried. If Alice gets tossed out, we all know where she'll be returning to.

...

Oh, just one of those things.
...

"Ya! But efferything iss in order! How can this be?" A very German response.

...

Ohhhh, Min.
...

I'm confused, did Bim take back the $1,0000,000? The way he had structured it, I didn't think he could do that.

Also, have you noticed that Min seems to, finally and rightfully, be losing patience with Andy as now she calls him out hard on his BS.

..

Well, that explains the furniture bills...
...

"But I don't understand, Dear, she only has three extra rooms, yet different soldiers keep coming and going, seemingly every hour."

"I asked Auntie just that and she tossed me this fifty, told me to take everyone out for a nice evening and not to ask any more questions."

...

Serves ya right for going to a saloon. Next time try a candy store.

Safecracking was another respectable criminal profession back then that's all but disappeared today. I guess they had to be retrained as cybercriminals. Technological change is hard on almost all careers.

 

[ChiTownScion]

Ever since you mentioned Little Iodine, Lizzie, I cannot get that image out of my head.

 

[LizzieMaine]

The resemblance is actually more than startling...

I wish "They'll Do It Every Time" was in one of our papers but it is, alas. a Journal-American strip. Jimmy Hatlo was always one of my favorite cartoonists. Clearly Carl Ed is also a fan.

 

[FOXTROT LAMONT]

Haight went to that death chair cursing himself for being only a fool, not a child rapist and murderer.
He should have been forced to walk the general population exercise yard where the lads would introduce themselves
proper, then take him to the devil seat for a right run downstairs.

 

[ChiTownScion]

The resemblance is actually more than startling...

View attachment 531413

I wish "They'll Do It Every Time" was in one of our papers but it is, alas. a Journal-American strip. Jimmy Hatlo was always one of my favorite cartoonists. Clearly Carl Ed is also a fan.

And that Little Kid Picking Up Adult Language thing does play out in real time. My son was about 18 months old, scooting around on his little riding locomotive , wearing only a diaper, when a wood floor barrier between the dining room and the living room stopped him in his tracks (literally).

I heard a tiny voice mutter, "Damn it!!"

I tried to watch myself after that.

 

[LizzieMaine]

There's a very famous family story of two year old me being wheeled around a grocery store in a carriage, pointing at every item on the shelves and calling them *sh*t!" Under a wave of disapproving glares, my mother's response was "I'm babysitting. Terrible, ain't she?"

We all know that Leonora will never do anything like this.

 

[LizzieMaine]

("Hey," heys Joe, stepping quietly into the apartment and hanging his cap on the peg to find Sally sitting at the kitchen table, in her worn chenille bathrobe, her hair in pincurls, and her feet propped up on a second chair. "Whatta ya doin' up?" "I'm doin' my toenails," Sally sighs. "At two inna mawrnin'?" queries Joe, setting his dinnerpail on the table. "Why not?" shrugs Sally. "Couldn' sleep. T'ought I'd toin onna radio, catch up onna news. You hoid, right?" "Who din't?" nods Joe. "Solly. Mickey. Awlarest'v'm." "Yeh," comes Sally's quiet yeh. "Hey," she continues, raising her foot to gesture to a scrap of paper on the table. "Ya got a message. Kid f'm Schriebstein's brung it up." "Oh," ohs Joe, picking up the sheet. SAT MORNING 11 AM. UNCLE FRANK, it reads. "Y'betteh get t'bed," suggests Sally with marked blandness. "Yeh," yehs Joe. He turns toward the bedroom, but before he can open the door, Sally looks up. "What's goin' awn, Joe?" is her flat question. "Since when'da you go do stuff on Sat'day mawrnin's wit' Uncle Frank? Since whenna you so chummy wit' Uncle Frank?" "Well," stammers Joe, his face reddening, "he's t'closes' t'ing I gawt to a fawt'er'n law, so I t'ought..." "Y'know, t'es lotsa funny stuff goin' on lately. I go t' Ma's place t'pick up Leonoreh, an' she's onna phone wit' somebody, real intense like, an' when she sees me comin' in she clams right up. T'at's been hap'nin' a lawt lately. An'nen I see t'at Hops Gaffney comin' in, whispehs somet'in inneh eeh, an' she looks awl worried. An' now you sneakin' aroun' wit' Uncle Frank, who ya neveh give ten cents fawr befoeh. What's goin' awn, Joe?" Joe takes a deep breath, and steps away from the door. He takes a chair and sits at the table, gazing at his wife for a long moment, cogitating his next remark. WIth a deep breath, he makes up his mind. "Ya know," he begins, "onna radio? Fibbeh McGee?" Sally returns a blank stare. "Y'know how he op'ns'at dooeh? T'at closet dooeh? An' evr'yt'ing comes crashin' out makin' a big mess? If he had'na op'nt t'at dooeh, nut'n woulda happ'nt. He could go awn about 'is business, would'n hafteh spen' awlat time tryin' t'clean it up, neveh knowin' t'diff'nce. Y'see what I'm sayin'? Sometimes t'ez dooehs t'at's bes' t'jus' leave closed." Sally is silent for a long moment. "F'gawdsake, Joe." she sighs. "T'way you tawk sometimes. Look, I know awlabout what's goin' on. Y't'ink I'm dense, Joe? Y't'ink I'm stupid? Me?? I been around, Joe. I din' just fawl off a gawrbage truck. I've known about it awlalong." "Y'have?" replies Joe, gazing with amazement. "An' y'neveh..." "It don' take no Dick Tracy," Sally interrupts. "I know what's nex' mont', awright? I know it's oueh annivoisery comin'. An' I know allayez awr plannin' some kinda big deal, some kinda pawrty a'sump'n. An' I'm heeh t'tellya right now, I dowan'nut'n t'do wit' t'at. Lookit t'news, Joe. T'wawr's rampin' up. An' it won't be long befoeh... well, I jus' do'wan'no pawrty a'nut'n, okay? Less jus' do like we awrways do -- a movie, annen' t' Hawrn 'n' Hawrdawrt. We neveh needed nut'n moeh'nat be'foeh. So le's make like t'is yeeh ain' no diffe'nt f'm no ott'eh, okay? T'at's awl I want, Joe. Just f't'is yeeh.....t'nawt be no diff'nt f'm any ot'eh. Awright?" "Uhhh," uhhs Joe, "Yeh. Suueh." "C'mon, Joe," says Sally, rising from her chair, and taking her husband's hand. "Less go't bed.")

Brooklyn housewives will soon benefit from a 50 percent rollback in the price of cabbage, and a 25 percent reduction in the price of lettuce, taking effect on July 20. The adjustments come as the OPA launches a series of moves designed to bring down prices of fruits and vegetables across the board. The new ceilings, approved by the War Food Administration involve no subsidies, and other vegetables, including peas, snap beans, carrots, apples, and pears, have been mentioned for rollback later. But a Washington report indicated that the OPA has abandoned a proposed rollback of retail coffee prices, and will limit the subsidy-rollback program to butter and meat. Price Administrator Prentiss Brown is reported to have given such reassurance to Congress this week, a move which is credited with having enabled the Roosevelt Administration to push back Congressional attempts to outlaw all subsidy-rollbacks.

("Pose for WHAT kind of a picture???" sputters Freddie Fitzsimmons. "G'wan, get somebody else to do it! If my arm wasn't so sore I'd SWAT ya one!")

The city Health Department has issued a warning to all housewives to carefully follow all safety rules when canning the produce of victory gardens. "Foodstuffs carelessly or improperly canned," warned a Department statement, "may quickly turn bad, forming bacterial poisons so deadly that even a single taste can be fatal."

How well do YOU know Brooklyn? Would you recognize the block behind Ebbets Field if you saw it? Or a street in Coney Island without the boardwalk in view? Or Greenwood Cemetery? If you're a real Brooklynite, you should recognize these spots -- and you'll have a chance to prove it in a contest sponsored by the Brooklyn Eagle in connection with an exhibit of photographs of local scenes at the Brooklyn Museum. Forty photos of localities that should be familiar are on display on the museum's ground floor, and a $25 war bond will be awarded to the contestant who correctly identifies the greatest number of these photos. Entry blanks are available at the musuem information desk.

(There are few things harder to hide than tons of rotting potatoes in July, so don't even try.)

("Very well. We begin with an incision at the left brisket.")

(In the phone booth at Schriebstein's, Alice dings a nickel down the slot and dials "O.""Yeh," she says. "Weste'n Union. Yeh. I wanna sen' a telegram. Yeh. Leo Durocheh, Ebbets Feel, Brooklyn N-Y. Yeh. Heeh it comes. Ya ready? Message is "HEY FATHEAD, SUSPEND HIGSBY TOO. SIGNED A FRIEND." Yeh. Sen'nat colleck.")

(Why do all these new characters have chins like Dan Dunn? Is there a subplot brewing we don't know about yet?)

(Once again, tainting foods meant for human consumption is a Federal crime. YOU'RE GOIN' AWAY DAN. GOIN' AWAY FOR A LONG STRETCH.)

(Whatever happened to "no shoes, no shirt, no service?")

(Yes, but how do you tell the difference between the red points and the blue points?)

 

[LizzieMaine]

And in the Daily News...

Why bars on your apartment window are a good idea.

I bet PM didn't bury this story on page 7.

That must be a mighty powerful hoist. How much does a U-Boat weigh??

"Hey fellas," says Bobo Newsom, parachuting into the story. "Need a right-handed starter?"

Didn't any of these people ever hear of a checking account???

Well, this won't take long.

Ever notice this guy looks like a cross between Wilmer and Tops? And he shares both their fine qualities, too.

"Sure, boys, but there's only room for two in that boat. Make it shore duty!"

If you were a real doctor, you'd know you can't crack a safe without a stethoscope.

Y'know, Jimmy Hatlo could probably sue.

 

[LizzieMaine]

Oh, and...

Enough said.

 

[Fading Fast]

...

("Pose for WHAT kind of a picture???" sputters Freddie Fitzsimmons. "G'wan, get somebody else to do it! If my arm wasn't so sore I'd SWAT ya one!")
...

What the Eagle didn't show is that after Mrs. Owens filled the can, she handed it to her husband to hold, which he did for a split second before dropping it to the floor as the contents spilled out.

...

("Very well. We begin with an incision at the left brisket.")
...

"Don't make a hash of me." The jokes practically write themselves for this one.

...
(In the phone booth at Schriebstein's, Alice dings a nickel down the slot and dials "O.""Yeh," she says. "Weste'n Union. Yeh. I wanna sen' a telegram. Yeh. Leo Durocheh, Ebbets Feel, Brooklyn N-Y. Yeh. Heeh it comes. Ya ready? Message is "HEY FATHEAD, SUSPEND HIGSBY TOO. SIGNED A FRIEND." Yeh. Sen'nat colleck.")
...

I'm thinking Western Union isn't sending that one collect.

...

(Once again, tainting foods meant for human consumption is a Federal crime. YOU'RE GOIN' AWAY DAN. GOIN' AWAY FOR A LONG STRETCH.)
...

Who'd thunk that the producers of the 1950s TV show "Riverboat" had used Dan Dunn's getup here as the template for Burt Reynold's outfit from the show.

...

I bet PM didn't bury this story on page 7.
...

Well, yes, a bit embarrassing, but in truth, did any paper police for this type of thing back then?

...

That must be a mighty powerful hoist. How much does a U-Boat weigh??
...

When they run out to man the guns, dip 'em below the surface. This could be fun.

...

Didn't any of these people ever hear of a checking account???
...

No kidding, Andy's $9,000 in '43 would be like carrying ~$160,000 around in your pocket today - who does that?

That said, the banks did not do so well in the early 1930s, so there is that. Countering that, though, is FDIC insurance which started in 1934.

Oh, and...

Enough said.

I agree, but at some point in the future, the liberal News changed its opinion and the penultimate paragraph became the argument of the other side.

 

[Farace]

There's a very famous family story of two year old me being wheeled around a grocery store in a carriage, pointing at every item on the shelves and calling them *sh*t!" Under a wave of disapproving glares, my mother's response was "I'm babysitting. Terrible, ain't she?"

We all know that Leonora will never do anything like this.

I have a memory of being two or three and having my mouth washed out with soap for saying “shit.” Very confusing, as all I had been doing was repeating something my dad said!

 

[Hobbes1]

And a whole bunch of "and alsos"...

View attachment 531092
At least she could deduct the furniture as a business expense...

That "bagnio" sure is selling for a pretty penny: https://lesliegarfield.com/properties/new-york/sale/15-sutton-place
With (currently) 16 rooms, I'd imagine she may have turned a tidy sum back in the day.

 

[FOXTROT LAMONT]

Oh, and...

View attachment 531532
Enough said.

Yes indeed. More than enough though a shilling or two pitched towards my conscience for earlier words
writ in angered disgust with Haight and what was a miscarriage of just sense in the Obrien case.

An individual can change for the better and atone in some meaningful depth for heinous violence
and a life sentence passed with possible parole isn't entirely out of question because of our hope for the
greater good in humanity. Perhaps in time Haight would have evolved and achieved semblance of decency,
or perhaps not. His execution at tender age doesn't return life to his victims whom were mere children,
sealing off any hope for this lad or by extension ourselves.

 

[LizzieMaine]

("Yeee've gaat no'thin' t'waary aboot," declares Uncle Frank, as he sips on his two-cents-plain. "Thaat boy couuldn't hit the broad soide of a baaarn if ye built the baarn six feet in fraant of him. He nevaar hit the tarrget once." "An' ye didn't encaaarage him none," replies Ma. "Ye didn't tell him he'd get bettar, did ye?" "Oi didn't need to say no'thin'. The oonly thing the boy hit the whoole toime we waas out tharr was a seagull, twenty feet in the air. Poor lad insisted on runnin' t'foind it, aan' when he sawww whaat he'd doon, he tarrned a broit shade of green." Uncle Frank pauses to take another sip. "Aannd then, " he continues, "when the toime come t'take out the eempty shells, he got his fingarr caught b'tween the cylindarr aaand the frame of the gonn! Cut himsalf aal oop. Nahh, Oi think it's safe t'say the aarmy woon't haave much use faar the loikes if him." "An' ye didn't sayy anything else to him, did ye?" presses Ma. "He didn't ask ye how ye comm t'know how t'haandle a gonn." "Oi told him how Oi used to be an aaarmed guard on a delivery vann," chuckles Uncle Frank. "Which is the Gaaad's honest truth. Oi just didn't say annnything aboot what we waas deliverin'." Ma exhales. "Aaan' ye sure thaar's noothin' ye can doo with the draaaft board when his toime comes?" "Nora," insists Uncle Frank, "eev'n if I could, I wooudln't. Thaar's a war on, ye know. Ann'd there's toimes when ye..." "Me hoosband nevarr come baack from the laaast war," snaps Ma. "I don't need the loikes a' ye to be tallin' me aboot warr. They aalready got me boy Michael who's Gaad knoows wharr, an' thaar NOT gonna get Joseph too." "Nora," declares, Uncle Frank, "yaar hoosband nevarr come baack from the waar becoose he run aaaf with a French taart! Joseph dotes on ye daaghter aan' that little gaarl, aan' if thaar's one man on aaarth thaat would passs oout cold if a French taaart s'much as winked at'im, t'haaat's Joseph. Now staap ye waaaryin', an' tell me what ye got laid aan f'sooparr. Whaat if I told ye I could get me haaands aaan a cooople a' noice steaaks?" "Hmph," hmphs Ma. "Oi'd ask aroond the race traacks to see whoo's missin' from th' paadock!" Uncle Frank takes another sip and winks. "Ye'r the divil himself, Francis," huffs Ma. "Sooparr's at six.")

The Truman Committee of the U. S. Senate, investigating the war effort, last night accused the Curtiss-Wright Corporation -- the nation's second largest war contractor -- of selling "defective and substandard" aerial equipment to the Government. The committee headed by Senator Harry S. Truman (D-Missouri) devoted fourteen pages of its thirty-page report on America's aircraft program to the charges against Curtiss-Wright, declaring that evidence gathered at the company's engine plant have been turned over to the frauds division of the War Department, and the report recommended that the Government's present contract with the firm be "negotiated downward." Company president G. W. Vaughan categorically denied all charges contained in the report, and declared that Curtiss-Wright equipment is "making an outstanding contribution to winning the war." The report further charged that Army officers were complicit in the falsification and forgery of reports that approved engines and engine parts despite gasoline leaks and other defects. Lt. Col. C. Greulich, Army Air Force inspector stationed at the Lockland, Ohio engine plant of the Wright Aeronautical Corporation, was specifically identified in the report as the apparent leader of those "abetting the company."

(272 Lincoln Place is a nice building in Prospect Heights, where this sort of thing Just Doesn't Happen. Keep investigating.)

Four thousand Brooklyn housewives lined up outside Ebbets Field yesterday, each containing a can, a jar, or a pail full of cooking grease as their price of admission to see the Dodgers beat the Pittsburgh Pirates. A half pound was set as the minimum, but some women arrived carrying five pound buckets of used fat, all of which was dumped into huge red-white-and-blue drums lined up at the gates. City Councilwoman Rita Harvey of Brooklyn was among the first to enter the ballpark, carrying a one-pound tin of grease, as the line extended more than two blocks along McKeever Place from the grandstand gate. By the start of the game, 25 of the 125-pound drums were full, and the women kept coming, piling up their containers on either side of the gates in their haste to get in.

A small fortune in gold and gems confiscated from convicted Murder-For-Money Gang gunman Emanuel "Mendy" Weiss, henchman of Louis "Lepke" Buchalter, will be sold at public auction next week to satisfy Weiss's tax debt to the Federal Government. Items to be sold incude a diamond-encrusted gold belt buckle, a gold wristwatch, a three-diamond gold ring, a fine gold Swiss pocket watch, a gold watch chain with a gold pocket knife and gold mechanical pencil attached, and a gold cigar holder. The items were seized by Treasury agents
after Weiss was arrested in Kansas City in April 1940.

Lillian Ross, executive secretary of the Brooklyn Young Communist League, writes in to deplore the recent race riot in Detroit as the work of fifth columnists and Fascists, and urges Brooklyn to take the lead in demonstrating real racial unity by ending all discrimination against Negroes, Jews, Catholics, or Protestants. "And I can think of nothing which would more dramatically advance the cause of unity and victory than the signing up of Negro ballplayers by our beloved Brooklyn Dodgers -- at once!"

("Baseball!" sniffs Mr. Ginsberg, seated up in section 37, next to Mrs. Ginsberg, Alice, Sally, and Joe, as they await a long and exciting afternoon. "Grown men in knickehbockeh pants, running efteh a leedle ball. What is the point?" "Aw, it's swell, Misteh G," insists Joe. "Jus' wawtch an' y'll see." "Your hend, Joseph," notes Mr. G, observing a bandage. "At woik?" "Neh," shrugs Joe. "I -- um -- cut meself shavin'." "Shavink your fingeh?" queries Mr. G. "Um, yeh," continues Joe. "T'eh -- uh -- takin' pitchehs f't'comp'ny newsletteh. I wanna look nice." Sally shoots Joe an eyeroll, but her attention is quickly diverted, as the Pirates take the field for infield practice. "Hey, Sal!" shouts Alice, bits of frankfurter and mustart spattering outward. "It's Petey! HEY PETEY!" "HEYYYY PEEEEEEETEEEEEEEE!" joins in Sally. "PEEEEEEEEEEETEEEEEEE!!!!" "Who is Peedie?" inquires Mr. G, as Joe takes his turn at eyerolling. "PEEEEEEETEEEEE!" joins in Mrs. Ginsberg, as the three women raise a fearful chorus. Mr. Coscarart, taking a ground ball and tossing it effortlessly around the field flicks a glance to the upper deck, and then steps over to Frankie Gustine, whispers a remark, and Mr. Gustine is seen to glance upward with a laugh. "PEEEEEEEEEEEEEETEEEEEEEEY!" wails the chorus, until Mr. Coscarart doffs his cap and waves. Sally, Alice, and Mrs. Ginsberg stand, and wave back, and Mrs. Ginsberg inserts two fingers in her mouth and emits a piercing whistle. "Baseball!" shrugs Mr. G. "I ask you.")

("AND ANOTHER THING! WHICHEVER ONE OF YOU BUMS IS SENDIN' THESE TELEGRAMS -- CUT IT OUT!!!")

(WAAAAAL PEEEL MY TATERS!)

(That's Robert Riggs the artist, not Bobby Riggs the tennis hustler. But I'm sure Bobby would wrestle a snake if he thought there was money in it.)

(Well, murder or maybe just another annoying jackass who ruins the beach for everybody.)

(C'mon, Fritz, you can do better than this jerky little twerp. And that typewriter's nifty, but let's see if it can do Russian, Chinese, or Hebrew.)

(Careful, Sherry, you've got a bigger chin than he does. And sorry, Phil, "Pouf!" is never going to catch on.)

 

[LizzieMaine]

And in the Daily News...

"STOP BLOWING, HARRY!" "Sorry. Force of habit."

What, no shotguns?

Anyway, Tracy always preferred Eddy Duchin.

"Why shouldn't you, you're a Gump! Thank God you take after your mother!"

Um, I've been around chickens enough to know that the noise isn't the first thing you notice...

For those who came in late...

Comb your hair, Downwind. What if the Coral Princess sees you?

Well, it beats working at Pipdyke's.

Corky's fifteen now! You age quick when you only show up twice a year.

Of course, you'll have to be screened by the FBI first. "WHO HAS TIME FOR THAT RED TAPE!" yells Warbucks. "JOIN *MY* ARMY!" "Uhhh, no thanks, I zaw what you made dot man mit der turban do..."