LizzieMaine
Bartender
- Messages
- 33,755
- Location
- Where The Tourists Meet The Sea
Oh, and...
Oh, Charlie...
Oh, Charlie...
("Y'know," sighs Sally as she and Joe stroll hand-in-hand up Rogers Avenue toward Ebbets Field, "t'way t'ings'eh goin', t'eh might not be too many moeh Sundays lef' weh we c'n do t'is." Joe is silent for a long moment. "I know," he finally agrees. "Sooneh'a lateh t'eh gonna draf' me. I mean, look -- it's a wawr, right? I mean, Solly's oveh t'eah gettn' shot, ya brut'teh's oveh t'eh doin' Gawd knows what, y'go'twa bawlgame, t'stans is half empty 'cause so many utteh guys is oveh t'eh. What right've I got not t'be oveh t'eh? I mean, we got a baby, an' I got whatchacawl'n essential jawb, an' I don' know t'fois' t'ing about shoot'n people, I can' even empty a mouse trap, I mean, t'ank Gawd we got Stella -- but if woise comes t'shove, I mean, a' co'ese I gotta go. I dunno what's gonna hap'n, but, I guess, neit'eh d'anyuvvus. So, I mean, yeh, maybe by t'enna t'is summeh I'll be off in a hole someplace, an' you'll still be heeh, but les' not t'ink about it , OK? Le's jus' be t'ankful t'day f'what we got left." Now it's Sally's turn to walk along in silence for a long moment. "Yeh, I guess," she finally sighs. "But I wasn' 'zackly tawkin' 'bout 't'at. What I was sayin' was it might not be too much longeh befoeh t'ey put me away. F'killin' Alice Dooley, y'know? Y'know what she done? T'is mawrnin' I foun'a piece'a tablet papeh inna was'ebasket, awl covehed wit' writin'. 'Alice Higbe,' it says. 'Alice D. Higbe,' it says. 'Mr. an' Mrs. W. K. Higbe' it says. "What's t' 'W?" interjects Joe. "Walteh," explains Sally, her mouth curling with distaste. "She says his real fois' name is Walteh." "Gawdawmighty," snickers Joe. "An'nat ain'a wois'," continues Sally, her voice rising. "Awla writin' is wit' lit'l hawrts wit'' arrehs t'rough 'em awl aroun' like she's in 8-B. 'Alice Higbe!' I ASK YA! I tell ya, Joe, t'time is comin'..." "Maybe t'ey otta draft YOU," chuckles Joe, as Empire Boulevard looms into view and the brick bulk of the ballpark rises to the west..)
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The manpower shortage is growing more acute in New York City, with statistics from the United States Employment Service indicating that there are only 68,000 unemployed persons in the five boroughs, compared to 400,000 last July. It is indicated that the so-called "Victory Shift" program requiring white-collar employees to take short shifts working on the production floor in war plants may soon be required in the metropolitan area. That program has been used to some success in Buffalo and Cleveland, with office workers brought into factories for a few nights each week to supplement the regular factory workforce. Government authorities are said to be in favor of the plan, but it is less popular with experts who manage skilled production, who doubt that office workers posses the necessary skills for factory tasks.
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(BLESS YOU FITZ!!!!!!)
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(No, that is not a regulation uniform.)
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"Star and Garter" marks its first anniversary Wednesday night at the Music Box Theatre. The Gypsy Rose Lee-Bobby Clark gag-n-gal revue shows no sign of slowing down.
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A B-26 bomber named after tennis-playing model screen star Jinx Falkenburg took part recently in the sinking of 22 Japanese ships and the downing of 80 Japanese planes in aerial combat at the Bismarck Sea off New Guinea. The fliers crewing the plane adopted Miss Falkenburg as their mascot when they stopped off in Hollywood before shipping out.
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I miss teller cages. It made you feel like you were in an OFFICIAL PLACE instead of in the break room at a small-town industrial park.
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"Yeah, I know." TURN ON THE MACHINE.
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2-1 that the Coral Princess turns out to be Joy.
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PUNJAB!!!!!!!! Give'm the rug!!!
Several sheet pages earlier Barbara Stanwyck and Jinx Falkenberg were featured in film ads and Ms Stanwyck
in Queen of Burlesque or Lady of Burlesque was quite the bombshell back in the forties. She was a hit over here with
The Big Valley and I always thought her sexier than Linda Evans or Joan Collins for that matter. She starred with Gary Cooper in another movie, Barb was a hot, real hot, red hot showgirl singer and Coop a college lit prof researching
street slang but he was just her foil. She stole that film out from under Coop.
Aptly named film...."Ball of Fire."
("But what I'm try'na say," pleads Sally as the train bumps along home, "izzat t'is jus' ain' healt'y!" "Ahhhhh, ya fulluvit," scoffs Alice. "Y'know what ain' helt'y? T'is train ain' helt'y, t'is heat ain' helt'y, t'at guy oveh t'eah smells like t' Gowanus C'nal, he ain' helt'y. But Hig? He's helt'y! Lemme give ya t'woid onnat, sisteh. He's helt'y!" "An' he's MARRIED," retorts Sally. "How many times I gotta tellya t'at?" "He's a manna t'woil," dismisses Alice. "Menna t'woil has whatchacawla sophisticated pern'a view onneese t'ings. Y'know, he's been aroun', he tells me. He's been awl oveh t'woil'. Bawston, Philadelphieh, Pittsboig..." "Ahhhhh, noitz," grumbles Sally. "Cincinnati, Chicageh, St. Louie," continues Alice. "He's ev'n ben'ta Cubeh! TWICE!" "An'nee's got goil'fren's in ev'y one'a t'em places," snaps Sally, jabbing her finger in Alice's ample shoulder. "Getcha min' outa t'gutteh," scoffs Alice with a prim toss of her head. "Hig is whatcha cawl a sout'n gennleman. We go in a jernt, he cawls t'waitress 'ma'am.' He ain' no lug like Joe." "Don'choo say nut'n 'gainst Joe," growls Sally, balling her fists. "You otta be t'ankful Joe's such a decen' guy. Lotta guys woulda t'rown you out weeks ago." "Joe's OK," acknowledges Alice, "an," she adds with ever such a condescending tone, "ya lucky t'have 'im. He's t'right kin'a guy f'ra gal like you, takes e'vryt'ing so serious. But I wanna have fun, Sal. I do'wanna be no white glove lady like you an' ya pal Kilgallen. You jus' don' get it. Ya what, t'oity? Ya jus' a kid. Y'know how ol' I am? I'm t'oity-sev'n. Y'know what t'at's like? I'm awready takin' Lydia Pinkham's! But Hig 'preciates me f'what I am." "I bet he does," mumbles Sally, but she immediately regrets it. "Look," she sighs, "t'eah's utteh fellas aroun'. Afteh t'wawr, you'n Mickey c'd get backta'getteh, huh? "Alice frowns, her Pert Irish Nose wrinkling with distaste. "What?" demands Sally. "Nut'n," dismisses Alice. "Well," Sally continues, "I heeh you useta go wit' Jimmy Leary." "T'at gorilleh?" snorts Alice. "T'rows his socks onna floeh an' 'spected me t'pick'm up." "Awright, how 'bout Danny Leary?" "Ha!" hahs Alice. "I ain' even gonna TELL ya what HE wan'ed me t'do!" "Well," ponders Sally, "t'eahs -- um -- Hops Gaffney! He seems like -- uh -- a nice e'nough fella." "Hmph," hmphs Alice. "T'at pipsqueak? He'd need a stepladdeh." "T'eah jus' ain' no reasonin' wit'choo, izzeah?" "Ya ain' givin' Hig a chance," pouts Alice. "An' heeh I was hopin' you an' him would get alawng when he comes oveh f'suppeh Wen'sday night." "WHAAT?" yelps Sally. "Yeh," shrugs Alice. "I meant t'tell ya. Musta f'got. He likes pot roast. Y't'ink we'c'n stop at Bohack's onna way home an' get a good pot roast?" Sally's reply is lost as with a blast of its horn, the train rumbles toward Hudson Terminal.)
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The Office of Price Administration and the Office of War Information will fight for their lives this week in the U. S. Senate, after the House of Representatives last week pushed both agencies back against the wall, amending their appropriations for fiscal 1944 in such a way that the OPA will be unable to continue its rollback-subsidy program, and the OWI will be forced to discontinue its domestic operations as of July 1. OWI Director Elmer Davis has threatened to resign if the elimination of domestic OWI operations is allowed to stand, on the grounds that, if that occurs, "there will be no OWI, and my job will be ended." The OPA, however, showed no signs of backing down on its rollback-subsidy program, which this week reduced the retail prices of beef, lamb, and veal. The House action against the OPA followed a demand by War Food Administrator Chester C. Davis for full control over the nation's food supply. If he is not given that authority, Davis has threatened to resign.
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(Bad enough he had to wait two hours for all the bookies to get done before he could even get to that phone.)
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Mayor LaGuardia hinted in his weekly radio broadcast yesterday over WNYC that he is considering running for a fourth term if it is necessary to continue his battle against commercialized vice, gambling, and indecent stage shows. "I hope," he declared, "and I am confident that I have the support of the clean, decent, law-abiding men and women of this city. I repeat again, I shall continue to enforce the law and protect the people of this city." The mayor pointed to his record since he was first elected in 1933, and continued "I know the overwhelming majority of people of this city are in favor of the kind of government I've been giving the people of this city for nearly ten years now, the kind of government that I intend to give them for the remainder of my term, and perhaps a little while longer if this filthy combination really wants a fight on this issue."
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(Maybe Fitz should just pitch every game from now on. They could put a tub of ice on a stool next to the mound so he could soak his elbow between pitches.)
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(Point of order: wouldn't there be a creepy Scarlet-shaped empty displacement moving around in the water?)
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All right gooseface, got anymore bright ideas??
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"But how?" Ah, it's good to see the brilliant General Warbucks back in action.
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Hig is one of these guys, and everybody knows one, who takes what they can get wherever they can get it. His memoir "The High Hard One" is quite candid on a lot of things, but for some reason he never mentions Alice.
There are some pretty rich Higbe stories in Peter Golenbock's book "Bums: An Oral History of the Brooklyn Dodgers." I won't repeat them here, because I don't want to spoil the book for those who haven't read it, but suffice it to say he's right up there with Mungo. And "Bums" is a great read for anyone fond of the Flock, of baseball, or of 20th Century Brooklyn and the people who lived there.
("Huh," huhs Joe in a saddened tone. "I dunno what's goin' on wit'tis country right now. Sal would say we'head'n'f' whatchacawl a reckonin' -- if she wasn' get'n awl woiked up oveh t'is bawlplayeh comin' oveh t'marra night." "More of Alice Dooley's doin', I s'pose," sniffs Ma, frowning her frowniest frown at the mention of the name. "I come home las' night," complains Joe, picking up the cue. "I look inna ice box. T'ezzis big hunka meat inneah, biggest I seen since t'wawr. I ask Sal, 'whazzat awlabout?,' an' she says it's f' Higsby!' I sez 'Higsby! Pitchehs goin' 3-3 otta eat hamboigeh wit' soybeans innit. Fitz should getta pot roas' but Higsby? We shoud t'row away ration pernts onna bum like t'at?' She says Alice spen'neh own ration pernts t'get it, but I got my s'spicions. I wawked by t'icebox t'is mawrnin', an' I says 'giddyup,' an' I sweah I hoid it jump." "I advise ye t'steer clear of baaalplayers," scowls Ma. "Loafaars, welsharrs, and buuums, th' lott'v'm. Mr. Fitzsimmons excepted of course. I tell ye, Joseph, baaack durin' the twoonties, Mr. Lieb haad many ballplayers coomin' in heer faar a refreshin' bev'rage." "T'ey liked his egg creams," Joe supplies with a nod. "Exaaactly, me boy. Exaacctly. Boot they'd pay, aaan' noine toimes oota ten, tharr checks waar noo daam good. Mr. Lieb paapered th' froont windows with soo many baaad checks from baalplayers ye cood scaaarcely see the suun!" "Payin' f' egg creams wit' checks," marvels Joe. "Ain'nat sump'n." "Of course, they'd maake good aafter Francis haad a talk with them aboot it. Boot it was like poolin' teeth." Ma pauses to interject a chuckle. "Sometimes it eeven coom t'that." "I din' know Uncle Frank useta be a dentist," replies Joe. "I t'ought he was a plumbeh." "A figure a' speech," hastens Ma, realizing what she said. "Now along with ye, an' I advoise before this Mr. Higglesby comes oover, ye hoide t'silvaarware." "Oh," says Joe, "we got t'at right down t'a science. We loint f'm Mickey." "What?" "Nut'n. Lateh, gateh!")
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Organized labor in New York State has given its full endorsement to the "Victory Shift" program which would require white-collar workers to take short night shifts in war plants as a partial solution to the manpower crisis. In some cases, unions in the state have begun recruiting drives to sign up Victory Shift workers on a voluntary basis. Union leaders say that they have relaxed initiaition and membership requirements for workers participating in the program.
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An unidentified girl between the ages of 14 and 16 was found wandering in Bay Ridge yesterday, and was taken to Bellevue Hospital suffering from amnesia. The girl was picked up by Patrolman William Brown of the Fort Hamilton station near 80th Street and 6th Avenue, and was described as approximately 4 feet 6 inches tall, weighing about 96 pounds, with light hair, blue eyes, and a fair complexion. She was wearing a plaid dress and oxford shoes without stockings. The girl gave her name as "Pat O'Neill," but could provide no other identification.
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(Seriously, who DOESN'T want to run away and join the circus?)
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(A valuable lesson was learned today.)
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It was a gentler time.
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"I also ordered lunch, in your name. Hope you like liverwurst."
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Someone just walked in and asked "are you crying?" and I had to explain why. Damn you, King.
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And being so fat, it keeps him out of the draft!
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The 73-year-old skipper of a charter fishing boat operating out of Eastern Long Island has been put in drydock for a month after the district Office of Price Administration found him guilty of violating the ban against pleasure boating. Captain Charles Leveridge admitted during a hearing in Manhattan that he had 35 recreational fishermen, most of the war workers, on his boat in Southold Bay. when he was boarded by the Coast Guard. After a Coast Guardsman examined his papers, Leveridge stated, he was told that the Coast Guard had no orders to stop him fishing, and when they received such orders they would let him know. "Seafaring people have got to have orders," stated Capt. Leveridge, "and when I got my orders to stop taking out fishing parties, I stopped. That was on June 18th." The weatherbeaten old skipper, asked by a ration board member if he hadn't seen articles in the newspaper about the ban on use of gasoline for pleasure boating, declared that announcements in the newspaper "don't mean a thing -- a captain's got to have his orders."
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("Gee, t'anks, Misteh Wyatt! At leas' ya c'n still write!")
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EIght of the swankiest clothiers along Seventh Avenue in midtown Manhattan have been robbed recently, but yesterday the bandits were arrested and revealed as two low-paid restaurant workers who had been dazzling their friends by parading down that same street in their ill-gotten finery. Patrolman John Dunn, walking his beat along Seventh Avenue Monday night, noticed a large glass-cutter hole in the front window of the Crawford Clothes store, and upon investigating discovered that a number of sport coats and pairs of slacks had been taken from a display. Yesterday, Patrolman Dunn was passing the Mills Hotel near Seventh Avenue on West 36th Street, and noticed a young man loitering in the doorway adjusting a snappy new sport coat with matching slacks. Dunn became suspicious, and asked the man to show him the label in the coat -- which turned out to be a Crawford Clothes label. Summoning Detective William Duffy, a search was conducted of the hotel, where $200 worth of fine menswear, recently reported stolen, was recovered in a room rented to 30-year-old restaurant counterman Charles Glaser, who, when questioned, admitted the thefts. The man first questioned by Ptl. Dunn, who identified himself as 30-year-old Alex Crawford, a cook with no relation to the Crawford store, insisted he had nothing to do with burglaries, claiming that he had merely noticed the hole in the shop window while strolling down the street, and simply took the opportunity to help himself to a new outfit.
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A Dodger fan who waved a knife because he was excited by Arky Vaughan's double during yesterday's game against the Giants at Ebbets Field was cleared of charges of possession of a dangerous weapon after his attorney explained to Judge Franklin Taylor that he always carries a set of knives on his person because he is a chef. Daniel J. Siegler, attorney for defendant George W. Burnside, a railroad chef, explained that his client always carries special knives for cutting bread, meat, and fish, and he happened to have one of those knives in his hand when Vaughan hit his double during yesterday's game. Burnside, the lawyer said, jumped up in excitement, raising the knife as he did so, which caused a spectator -- presumably a Giant fan -- to tip off the police.
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("Whassawliss?" inquires Joe, as he enters the apartment at quarter to 1 AM to find Sally seated at the kitchen table in her bathrobe, picking at a bowl of cold cereal as the radio squawks aimlessly in the background. "Alice," sighs Sally. "She's inna bedroom, cryin'eh eyes out." As she speaks, Sally reaches over to snap off the radio. "I hadda drown it out," she explains. "I coul'n take no moeh." "Oh," ohs Joe, hanging his cap on the hook by the door and pulling out a chair. "Higsby?" "Yeh," again sighs Sally. "He neveh show'd up. So she gets t'bright ideer'a goin' oveh t'his place t's'prise 'im. She bawrges inna dooeh, an', well, t'ehs s'prises awla 'roun'. T' rat's inneah wit' some utteh woman. He says 'meet me sisteh,' an'nen 'nis utteh gal sez 'chawrm'd I'm soit'n. Pawrd'n me sut'n accent!' 'Yeh,' hollehs Alice, 'Sout' Brooklyn!' An'nen she goes onna rampage, teahs up t'jernt, t'ey cawla cops, I hadda pack up Leonoreh an' go down' an'ney got'teh in night co'et, an' I says t't' magistrate, I says 'she can' help it, she's suffeh'd a great poissonal lawss, an' she toins onna wawtehwoiks, an'na magistrate gets awl senni'mental an' lets 'eh go. An' Higbe's oveh tawkin' t' 't' repo'teh, slips 'im a fifty t'keep it outta t'papehs, an'ne wawks off wit'tis blonde. An' Alice is been inneah bawlin' since we got home." "Oh," ohs Joe. "Yeh," agrees Sally. Joe heaves a sign of his own. "What hap'n't t'tat roast? I'm kina hungr..." "She t'rew it out t'windeh," is Sally's bland explanation. "Oh," again ohs Joe, glancing at the window. "Not out'teah," continues Sally. "Ack'chly, she t'rew it at Higbe. Inna hotel room. But he ducked, an' it wen'nout t'windeh. Prob'ly en't up inna middla Clawrk Street." "Oh," ohs Joe. "Have some cawrn flakes?" sighs Sally. "Yeh," yehs Joe.)
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(I'm impressed, Mr. Stamm. I imagine Gargantua doesn't take just any job.)
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(Most impressive thug since the Skull.)
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And in the Daily News...
"Avast, ya swabs!"
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WELL IT'S ABOUT TIME SOMEBODY BROUGHT THAT UP
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"Ohhh kid..." - Madeline Webb.
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I can suspend disbelief and accept the ridiculousness of the concept, but this storyline is just uninteresting.
(I'm impressed, Mr. Stamm. I imagine Gargantua doesn't take just any job.)