The Era -- Day By Day

[Fading Fast]

...

A Sheepshead Bay patrolman bulldogged a runaway milk-wagon horse this morning near the intersection of East 9th Street and Avenue S. Patrolman Joseph Ryan of the 61st Precinct was on duty at the crossing of East 9th and Avenue P about 8:30 this morning when he saw the horse galloping the driverless wagon down East 9th. Failing to stop the animal on foot, Patrolman Ryan commandeered a private car, and chased the careening wagon for five blocks until he got a block ahead of it. As the horse passed Avenue S, Ryan made a flying leap from the running board of the car and attached himself to the animal's neck, bringing him to a stop within ten feet. Neither the patrolman nor the horse were injured.
...

The Eagle left out that the headline to this story from 1910 is "Now Showing at a Nickelodeon Near You."

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In Teaneck, New Jersey, a policeman confronted and killed a chicken hawk that attacked a
woman after crashing into her house. Mrs. Alice Snyder of 363 Briarcliffe Road heard the bird hit the side of the house, and when she went outside to investigate the bird flew at her, bruising her right hand. Mrs. Snyder knocked the infuriated bird into a rubbish can, clamped down the lid, and called the police. When Teaneck Patrolman Robert Diaz arrived at the scene, he opened the can, and when the bird rose to attack, he struck it over the head with his nightstick. Patrolman Diaz says he plans to have the hawk stuffed.
...

The Eagle left out that the headline to this story from 1910 is "Now Showing at a Nickelodeon Near You."

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An appeal agent for Local Draft Board No. 233 says he has no idea why a soldier would walk up to him and punch him in the face, but that's what happened to lawyer A. E. Robert Friedman early yesterday morning aboard a BMT Brighton local at the DeKalb Avenue station. Friedman says he wasdozing in his seat near the exit door around 2:30 Sunday morning when a young soldier walked over, and, according to witnesses, said "this is what I've got for you," before punching him in the nose. The soldier then forced the door open and exited the car before the train left the station. Friedman told police the whole incident happened so quickly he didn't see the man who hit him, nor could witnesses offer any clear description other than that the man wore the uniform of an Army private. "I don't know why any soldier would want to hurt me," he commented, wiping the blood from his injured nose.
...

It takes all but no imagination to think of a scenario where a solider would be angry at an appeal agent for a draft board.

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(So much for the football season...)
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Maybe Brooklyn could join a table tennis league and name its team The Dodgers. If Brooklyn tries enough sports, a Dodgers team will eventually win a championship in something.

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(Don't look so smug, Mary. Remember that phony colonel you almost married.)
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"The pleasure was more than half ours..."

Apparently, Mary measure out the fun of an evening carefully, as so much for the trite but polite "the pleasure was all ours."

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"C'mon, at least it'll give us something to do."
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"Mr. Tracy! Mr. Tracy can you hear me! This is Frizzletop and I'm right outside! I can open the door and let you all out, but I thought you might first want to let me know if you decided yet if you are going to start paying me a salary or not. No pressure, I can wait right here."

...

"At once sir. We have Milky Way, Snickers, Oh Henry, Mounds...no, wait, a lot of men don't like coconut. And those Milky Ways are rough on the men with false teeth, that caramel makes a real mess. And you'd be surprised how many people don't like peanuts. Do we have any Clark bars, or did they not show up yet?"
...

I have no doubt you are right, Lizzie, but in all the pictures and references that I remember seeing (therein lies the flaw), it is always Hershey bars or generic blocs of chocolate that were being distributed to the troops. Did all these other candy companies also have WWII contracts for the troops?

...

Carpet Admirals.
...

I believe that quote is actually an intercept from the Japanese Navy High Command after Midway.

 

[LizzieMaine]

Most of the candy companies made generic military chocolate -- although Hershey had the contract for the "D Bar," the high-temperature chocolate that will soon become unpopular in North Africa and the Pacific Theatre. But civilian-branded bars were also available at camp exchanges, and no doubt brass hats such as we see here had the pick of their favorites. After all, they made convenient trading currency with local entrepreneurs in various recreational fields.

 

[LizzieMaine]

("...both families and the couples watched the blaze being put out. Then, according to Mrs. Jensen, 'some one' suggested an exchange of wives." Well, whatcha gonna do?)

The White House today released a long-awaited report on the manpower problem, calling on government. labor, and management to carry out immediately, without a labor draft act, fourteen specific recommendations for action. Those recommendations include turning responsibility for the manpower situation over to the chiefs of staff of the Armed Forces, the Lend Lease Administration, War Production Board chairman Donald L. Nelson, and War Manpower chief Paul V. McNutt for conjunction of efforts, while turning the responsibility for the Selective Service System over to the War Manpower Commission, giving Mr. McNutt wide-ranging new powers. It is also recommended that all voluntary enlistments in the Armed Forces be halted to ensure that all men entering the service are placed where and when they are most needed, especially men with special skills. The Commission, it is also recommended, should be empowered to regulate all hiring, rehiring, recruitment, and solicitation of labor in areas where labor shortages exist. Such areas would be defined in such a way to give the WMC control, if necessary, over every hiring office in the nation.

The Admiralty today reported that an Italian cruiser has been torpedoed by a British submarine off the northeast coast of Sicily. The ship is described as a "six inch gun cruiser."

As another Meatless Tuesday arrives today, the Office of Price Administration warned consumers to observe that voluntary abstention from meat -- or face the real possibility of a Meatless Yule. The OPA stressed that unless there is an immediate reduction in the amount of meat consumed nationwide, there is the very real possibility of chronic meat shortages for the Christmas holidays.

("Whassiss stuff," scowls Joe. "Postum," shrugs Sally. "It's good f'yeh, Misteh Coffee Noives." "Bleah," spits Joe. "Tastes like ya berlt up wood shavin's wit' m'lasses. I can't drink t'is." "You stan' in line at Bohack's f'haffa'noueh, an' see what you come up wit'." "C'n I have a cuppa tea t'en? T'is stuff is putrid." "Ain' got no tea." "Well ain'cha got any'ting'll help me wake up?" "Ma's comin' oveh f'T'anksgivin', an' Mickey's comin' home on leave, an' somewheah we gotta getta toikey." "T'anks," sighs Joe. ""At did it.")

The Long Island Railroad stands as much chance of getting a 25 percent increase in commutation rates "as Rommel has of escaping." So states Manhattan attorney Maurice Hotchner, founder of the Association of Long Island Commuters. Noting that the railroad has begun running advertisements in local newspapers explaining its case for the increase, Mr. Hotchner recommended that "instead of spending money on these advertisements, the railroad spend it in getting the goodwill of the riding public." Mr. Hotchner further suggests that the LIRR "get a divorce from the Pennsylvania and become an independent concern willing to meet the needs of the public," and adds that efforts could also be made to clean -- and keep clean -- LIRR stations and cars.

The family which formerly owned the land in Elmhurst where the Lost Battalion Hall, Queens' most important civic center, now stands, has filed suit to regain ownership of the property, charging that the original arrangement by which it turned the land over to the city called for the construction of a sewage treatment plant. Heirs of the late Frank De Hass Simonson filed suit this week in Queens Supreme Court demanding the immediate return of title to the property, and cash payments covering the use of the land since the plant that was built there in 1900 was abandoned. The Lost Battalion Hall was constructed on the site in 1938 by the WPA, in a project promoted by former Borough President George U. Harvey, and the building is now used for many important civic functions. It is presently used as the headquarters for the Queens Civil Defense Volunteers Office.

The New York Telephone Company has agreed to cooperate with Mayor LaGuardia's crusade against "tin horn gamblers" by cutting off service to telephone numbers proven by police to have been used in bookmaking operations. The Mayor read out several such numbers during his weekly radio broadcast on Sunday, and later caused an additional list of numbers to be read out over WNYC. The Mayor and company president James Hubbell met at City Hall to discuss the matter yesterday, and the Mayor subsequently announced that the company has agreed to take the specified actions.

Reader Louis P. Goldberg writes in to criticize the Eagle Editorialist's conclusion that the American Labor Party played no significant role in the recent gubernatorial election. He points out that if the ALP had endorsed Democratic candidate John Bennett, he would have had the advantage not just of the ALP's votes, but also the services of the ALP's party workers who might well have swung the final outcome in his direction. Noting that the ALP vote increased from 14 percent in 1938 to 17 percent this year, he calls that party the "balance of power" in New York state, and expresses the hope that it will be the trigger for a long overdue realignment of the parties in New York.

(Well, he does have a point.)

Hollywood's "acid faced spinster comic" Edna Mae Oliver died yesterday on her 59th birthday. Miss Oliver, who kidded her homely appearance by calling herself "Prune Puss" and "Pickle Pan" was well known for her many amusing character roles on the screen, following a long career on the legitimate stage. The actress, a direct descendant of the 2nd President of the United States, John Adams, had been ill for some time with "a sickness the gravity of which she never knew."

(Mr. Rickey should bear in mind that in the country of all the able-bodied young men going off to war, the aging veteran with six kids is king.)

(Mrs Durocher's name is Grace, in case you were wondering -- a quality one would sorely need if married to Leo.)

("A piece of costume jewelry on the jacket of life.")

("You sure it's not a death trap? Because it's really sounding like a death trap.")

(Irwin can't wait to get his bet down.)

(Don't forget to hit the gift shop on your way out. PLUSH BO DOGS NOW ON SALE!)

("Just take him down to the loading dock and have the boys give him a good blackjack shampoo. I have my job to do, I'm not gonna do yours.")

 

[LizzieMaine]

And in the Daily News...

C'mon now, there's wife swapping going on in Brooklyn and you load us down with all this war junk?

War is hell.

Some people are going to have a real hard time this winter.

"Dammit, Punjab, I told you to bring the rug!" "It was the Sahib's instruction to carry no checked baggage. You know how they charge for that."

Prune Face got out just in time. No way he would've gotten a fuel oil ration.

Yes, by all means send men on the point of exhaustion on a suicide mission. "MORE CANDY BARS FOR ME!"

What could possibly go wrong?

You sure you can't get Snipe to come back and do this job?

Yeah, make sure you settle your tab with Pop before you go.

Sorry kid, on the ration.

 

[LizzieMaine]

Oh, and...

I'll sign that petition.

 

[Fading Fast]

("...both families and the couples watched the blaze being put out. Then, according to Mrs. Jensen, 'some one' suggested an exchange of wives." Well, whatcha gonna do?)
...

That was the money line, Lizzie.

...

The family which formerly owned the land in Elmhurst where the Lost Battalion Hall, Queens' most important civic center, now stands, has filed suit to regain ownership of the property, charging that the original arrangement by which it turned the land over to the city called for the construction of a sewage treatment plant. Heirs of the late Frank De Hass Simonson filed suit this week in Queens Supreme Court demanding the immediate return of title to the property, and cash payments covering the use of the land since the plant that was built there in 1900 was abandoned. The Lost Battalion Hall was constructed on the site in 1938 by the WPA, in a project promoted by former Borough President George U. Harvey, and the building is now used for many important civic functions. It is presently used as the headquarters for the Queens Civil Defense Volunteers Office.
...

Clearly, there are more details to this lawsuit than noted in this brief article and the family might be morally right in its claim, but here's the reality even knowing nothing more than what's said in the article, they ain't gonna win.

...

Hollywood's "acid faced spinster comic" Edna Mae Oliver died yesterday on her 59th birthday. Miss Oliver, who kidded her homely appearance by calling herself "Prune Puss" and "Pickle Pan" was well known for her many amusing character roles on the screen, following a long career on the legitimate stage. The actress, a direct descendant of the 2nd President of the United States, John Adams, had been ill for some time with "a sickness the gravity of which she never knew."
...

She was a true pro. Her climatic scene - a one-on-one with Greer Garson - in 1940's "Pride and Prejudice" is acting at its best.

...

(Don't forget to hit the gift shop on your way out. PLUSH BO DOGS NOW ON SALE!)
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"Wait one week and you'll be able to get them 75% off at Davega."

...

War is hell.
...

It's part of why that generation, after the war, thought a "real" meal meant meat. Many in that generation couldn't understand the vegetarian wave on the 1970s and reading these papers makes it a bit more understandable why.

...

Yeah, make sure you settle your tab with Pop before you go.
...

Lillums arrived just in time for Harold to use the "I'm going off on a deadly mission for our country and may never return" line on her.

 

[LizzieMaine]

(Happy Armistice Day.)

Adolf Hitler backed his move into unoccupied France today with the assertion that "Providence had appointed" him to guide the destinies of the Reich, and that he and his allies are moving to "defend" the French fleet against "British and American aggression." The Nazi Fuehrer lifted armistice restrictions to allow the Vichy Government to conscript Frenchmen for military service in support of Germany, and announced that the seat of government could move back to Versailles, "if it wished." Hitler addressed letters to Marshal Petain and to the French people, the latter a cynical imitation of President Roosevelt's message of friendship that accompanied American landings in French North Africa.

King George VI, speaking today at the closing session of Parliament, pledged that Britain will invade Europe as soon as possible, "to liberate those countries and peoples now under hateful domination." The King declared that "a great company of Allied forces" is now united in a determination to win "a decisive victory over the Axis," and paid special tribute to the fighting prowess of the United States, which, he said, "is gathering strength month by month." The King emphasized close relations between Britain and America, stating that "the relations between my peoples and those of the United States is becoming ever closer," and added that he shares fully in "the admiration of my people for the glorious feats of the Soviet forces," calling the defense of Stalingrad "a new chapter of heroism written into the annals of war." Concluding his speech, the longest prorogration ever issued by a British monarch, the King proclaimed that "the ever-growing tide of resistance brings courage and freedom to all who wish to see freedom established in the world."

(Someone in Kew Gardens is a lousy fink.)

The first lawsuit for recovery of damages for an alleged violation by a retailer of ceiling price regulations in the borough of Queens has been filed by a Flushing policeman against the H. C. Bohack Company. Patrolman Ernest J. Hayfield of 147-15 Northern Boulevard filed suit for $50 damages after he bought seven pounds of rib roast at the Bohack store at Parsons and Northern Boulevard for a price of 35 cents a pound -- four cents a pound over the posted OPA ceiling price. When he pointed out to the store clerk that he had been overcharged 28 cents on his purchase, he states that the clerk replied "that's our price." The case has been set for a hearing on November 17th.

Two thousand five hundred "competent tire men" have been selected by State OPA Director Lee S. Buckingham to serve as official tire inspectors under the expanded OPA mileage rationing program that begins next Sunday. Seven hundred and twenty five tire inspectors will be assigned to Brooklyn, and 500 to Queens, and will be responsible for inspecting all private passenger car tires in use between December 1 and January 31. Tire inspection certificates will be required to be shown in order to receive a gasoline ration. OPA officials stress that the inspection program is not a prelude to a government seizure of "seldom used" tires, and state that tires on cars in dead storage will not be subject to inspection of the owners of those cars turn in their gasoline ration books. The inspection registration blanks allow the possession of no more than five tires per passenger car, with the government intending to purchase all passenger tires in surplus of that amount.

A Woodhaven man has taken the advice of Mayor LaGuardia and has filed suit to recover money he lost betting on a horse race. Samuel Kornblum of 86-50 78th Street sued in Small Claims Court in Jamaica to recover $21.30 lost in a bet placed with Joseph Lero of 79-09 Jamaica Avenue. The suit has been placed under a civil gambling law allowing triple damages to recover a horse race wager.

(Note that "Wine Women and Song" is back in the agate ads, but no display ad! "That's all right, Margie dear," purrs Gypsy, "I'm sure people will still know who you are. Incidentally, I've had a new photo taken, so don't lose your screwdriver.")

"Gone With The WInd" opens today at Loew's Kings Theatre in Flatbush and Loew's Pitkin in Brownsville for a limited return engagement. The film will be shown in its original full-length version, with "not a kiss cut."

(HEY SANDY WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO ENLIST.)

(Mr. Camilli has no idea who he's up against.)

("Oh Doctor, I've turned my ankle and I'm afraid it hurts ever so much. You know, that ankle is insured by my studio for $1,000,000.")

(Uncle Jeff reads too many comic strips.)

("Cottonmouth? Toady?" Hmph, buncha amatchoors," hmphs Seymour "Blue Jaw" McGoon.)

(AMERICA'S NUMBER ONE HERO DOG IS OFF TO HIS NEXT ADVENTURE! HEY IS THAT A RUNAWAY MILK WAGON? WATCH ME GO!)


("We'll see how long THIS lasts!")

 

[LizzieMaine]

And today's special bonus pull-out section --

(Just watch those ceiling prices.)

("I remembeh watchin'na big kids hangin'na Kaiseh f'm a light pole," recalls Joe. "I remembeh Ma lookin' out'teh windeh," sighs Sally, "an' wondehin' what become'a Pa.")

(America's biggest small town goes to war.)

 

[LizzieMaine]

And in the Daily News...

"I'm going to move over to my sister's!" "Don't drag HER into this!"

Optimistic pessimism.

Some days I'd be satisfied to just sit and watch Frank King draw.

Poor little kid has inherited the family profile.

"When he gets a little older?"

"I MEANT TO DO THAT"

KEEP THE LINE CLEAR FOR THE WAR

"And whatever you do, watch out for a guy who looks like Warren William. He might be disguised with a cowboy hat and a monocle. Shouldn't be hard to spot."

Keep 'em flying!

Good neighbors always keep the shades down.

 

[LizzieMaine]

Oh, and...

Sarcasm isn't nice.

 

[Fading Fast]

...

(Someone in Kew Gardens is a lousy fink.)
...

[copy and paste] There is no detail too small for Butch; prioritizing is not his superpower.

...

Two thousand five hundred "competent tire men" have been selected by State OPA Director Lee S. Buckingham to serve as official tire inspectors under the expanded OPA mileage rationing program that begins next Sunday. Seven hundred and twenty five tire inspectors will be assigned to Brooklyn, and 500 to Queens, and will be responsible for inspecting all private passenger car tires in use between December 1 and January 31. Tire inspection certificates will be required to be shown in order to receive a gasoline ration. OPA officials stress that the inspection program is not a prelude to a government seizure of "seldom used" tires, and state that tires on cars in dead storage will not be subject to inspection of the owners of those cars turn in their gasoline ration books. The inspection registration blanks allow the possession of no more than five tires per passenger car, with the government intending to purchase all passenger tires in surplus of that amount.
...

Tell me a job nobody thought they'd ever have prior to 1942.

...

A Woodhaven man has taken the advice of Mayor LaGuardia and has filed suit to recover money he lost betting on a horse race. Samuel Kornblum of 86-50 78th Street sued in Small Claims Court in Jamaica to recover $21.30 lost in a bet placed with Joseph Lero of 79-09 Jamaica Avenue. The suit has been placed under a civil gambling law allowing triple damages to recover a horse race wager.
...

"We can't let a precedent be set. See if he'll withdraw his suit for 'his own good;' if not, you know what to do and make sure the body can be found. Either way, we'll be the ones setting the precedent."

...

(HEY SANDY WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO ENLIST.)
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"Singlehandedly sinking a sub and capturing an entire crew wasn't enough for you? I continue to coordinate with the commandos and [with a haughty tone creeping in] know I am doing more in that role than [dismissively] sniffing for bombs. [sotto voce] Plus, a dog could get killed doing that kind of work."

"Really, you're still going with 'singlehandedly sinking a sub and capturing an entire crew'?"
"Shut up!"

...

("Oh Doctor, I've turned my ankle and I'm afraid it hurts ever so much. You know, that ankle is insured by my studio for $1,000,000.")
...

"You know you didn't have to take all your clothes off for me to examine your ankle?"

And in the Daily News...

"I'm going to move over to my sister's!" "Don't drag HER into this!"
...

And we have another entry in the "Most Page Four, Page Four of 1942" contest. Sheesh, my life seems insanely boring now.

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"I MEANT TO DO THAT"
...

The Fedora Lounge Rulebook for Killing a TV, Movie or Comic-Strip Enemy states: "Always kill your enemy as fast as you can and, then, check carefully to make sure he or she is dead."

Why do we even bother printing this thing!

Oh, and...

Sarcasm isn't nice.

[copy and paste] There is no detail too small for Butch; prioritizing is not his superpower.

 

[LizzieMaine]

("He's a good swimmer." There's always hope.)

British and American forces, with a peaceful and allied North Africa at their backs, raced toward Tunisia today to crush Axis forces Adolf Hitler has rushed there by air. With Admiral Jean Francois Darlan having ordered Vichy troops to lay down their arms, the liberation of French North Africa is now complete after a 76-hour battle. American troops now embark on the next phase of their mission, the expulsion of Axis forces from Tunisia -- after which they will move on to take Tripoli, capital of Libya, and from there meet the remnants of Marshal Erwin Rommel's Afrika Korps, driven in retreat by the British Eighth Army across the Libyan desert. American armored columns are now believed to be near the Tunisan border, with Lt. Gen. Dwight D. Eisenhower reporting that they have captured the coastal town of Bougie, 190 miles from Tunisia.

The British Eighth Army neared Tobruk today in deadly pursuit of the remaining shreds of the Nazi Afrika Korps, with an Imperial communique reporting that Allied planes yesterday shot down 22 Axis aircraft, almost completely destroying formations put into the air by Marshal Erwin Rommel in a desperate effort to slow the British advance.

The German High Command said today that a Nazi submarine has torpedoed and damaged in the North Atlantic the 85,000 ton liner Queen Elizabeth, pride of the British Merchant Marine. The High Command in making that statement withdrew an earlier claim that a U-Boat had torpedoed a battleship of the "Queen Elizabeth Class," and now asserts that the vessel struck was the Queen Elizabeth herself. That ship, owned by the Cunard White Star line, and completed at Liverpool in 1940, was serving as a troop transport.

Winter has crushed all Nazi hopes of taking Stalingrad, and exhausted German forces now face the choice between retreating to milder weather 40 miles beyond the Don River or freezing to death where they stand. The Soviet noon communique today stated that the front has been firmly stabilized since the freezing weather arrived last Saturday, and that the ground is now frozen so hard that the Germans are unable to dig dugouts, leaving them no choice but to retreat or die. Terrible Russian blizzards are expected to arrive any day now, sweeping the steppeland around Stalingrad, rendering military operations nearly impossible. Harsh winter weather has also taken hold along the Tuapse and Nalchik fronts in the Caucasus, where the Red Army has developed their initiative and improved their positions.

The commander-in-chief of the Army Ground Forces told his men in an Armistice Day broadcast yesterday that they must develop "a lust to kill" in order to win the battle for survival. Lieutenant General Leslie J. McNair declared that the fighting spirit must grow out of hatred for the enemy. "We must hate with every fiber of our being," he emphasizied. "We must lust for battle. Our object in life must be to kill. We must scheme and plan night and day to kill. There need be no pangs of conscience, for our enemies have lighted the way to faster, surer, and crueler killing. They are past masters."

Mayor LaGuardia warned today that New Yorkers might face a direct attack by Germany as an attempt to boost Nazi morale. Speaking to a gathering of teachers at City Hall today to mark the presentation of two ambulances to the Beth Israel and Bronx Hospitals by the Jewish Teachers' Community Chest, the Mayor warned that "the distorted Nazi mind will do something unusually cruel and brutal even though it has no military value, every time they find themselves in a tight place. No doubt morale is very low in Germany. Therefore we must be prepared for anything at any time."

(FINE cats.)

The executive director of the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People declared today that he is opposed to the formation of a Negro National Guard unit in Brooklyn. Director Walter White told a meeting of the Brooklyn NAACP branch meeting at Concord Baptist Church that, while he does not question the sincerity of integrity of those working for the formation of such a unit, he points out that in doing so "they are supporting the very type of segregated setup" to which the NAACP is "vehemently opposed."

("HAH!" roars Joe. "T'em cawrs is doity, t'em conductehs is joiks, an'nem bums downa station treat ya like cat'l! I should pay extra? I ASK YA!" "If t'ey transfeh ya t' Bush Toiminal, ya can go t'woik f'a nickel," notes Sally. "Oh, I put in f'tat mont's ago," huffs Joe. "But t'ey like me at Lake Success," he sighs. "I got apt-i-tude. T'foehman says no tellin' how fawr I can go. BUT I DON' WANNA GO FAWR ONNA LON' GUYLAN' RAIL ROAD!")

Be sure the burners on your gas range produce a clear blue flame, say the cooking experts of the War Production Board. If the flame shows any other color but blue, it's a sign that your burners need cleaning, or the gas flow needs to be adjusted to admit less air. An orange or red flame indicates that you are wasting gas, and you must call your local gas company to service the burner. If you fail to do this, there may come a time when your gas bill will drop to zero -- because there's no gas.

The Eagle Editorialist stresses the importance of cheerful compliance with the new tire-inspection regulations taking effect next week, no matter how the motorist might feel about this new inconvenience. "Cussing the government won't help him," the EE admonishes. "If he must cuss, it might help to make Hitler and Hirohito the objects of his wrath. They're the precious pair who have taken the joy out of life."

(There's No One With Endurance Like The Man Who Sells Insurance!)

Cartoonist Billy DeBeck, the man who for the past twenty-three years has drawn the adventures of Barney Google for the Hearst newspaper syndicate, died yesterday at Lenox Hill Hospital at the age of 52. The comic strip artist, whose tales of the googly-eyed racetrack habitue, his blanket-wearing horse Spark Plug, and his hillbilly cousin Snuffy Smith have convulsed readers since 1919, was known for the many colorful phrases he contributed to the American language, including "heebie-jeebies," "horse feathers," and "time's a wastin'." The strip proved so popular in its heyday of the 1920s that it inspired a rash of souvenirs and novelties, a stage show, and a popular song. Mr. DeBeck is survived by his wife, the former Mary Louise Duhn. Funeral services will be held tomorrow at the Universal Chapel in Manhattan, to be followed by a Chicago burial.

("I do not think you will see Dolf Camilli at Ebbets Field again. Unless Rickey shells out for a better contract." There, fixed it for you. Oh, and the Phillies are going broke? When HAVEN'T the Phillies been going broke? Hey Branch, get Nugent on the phone and see what he'll take for Litwhiler.)

If all obstacles can be removed, and they should, Erasmus Hall should meet Abraham Lincoln High to decide the borough's schoolboy football championship in an unprecedented clash between two teams with unbeaten streaks extending back over two seasons. The game would likely be played at Ebbets Field, with receipts benefitting some worthy charity, probably the Red Cross.

("Well, she better have Blue Cross!")

("Let me show you my collection of novelty cigarette lighters!")

("They want me to make it more like Marsh? All right, I'll make it more like Marsh!")

MALPRACTICE SUIT! MALPRACTICE SUIT! MALPRACTICE SUIT!

(Hey, it works for Annie.)

 

[LizzieMaine]

And in the Daily News...

Well, Harold's got a war job, Goofy is married, and Shadow is clearly 4-F -- but Lilacs, Beezie, and Poison had better get their affairs in order.

A few days of working in a 55 degree office may change your minds. Ask me how I know.

"I mean, what's an APO, anyway?"

Aw, who cares if Warbucks is gone. After all we've still got Bill Slagg. The Eonite story happened seven years ago, when a John L. Lewis-like labor leader named "Chester L. Claptrap" conspired with newspaperman "Horace Hack" to destroy this allegedly "indestructible substance." Mr. Gray was far less subtle in those days.

Welcome to the neighborhood!

Old Folks At Home.

"You want me to what? But I run a mimeograph machine! What am I gonna do, drown 'em in paperwork?"

"UH OH! OUT OF OIL!"

Fried chicken does this to me, too.

Aren't you cold?

 

[Fading Fast]

...

Winter has crushed all Nazi hopes of taking Stalingrad, and exhausted German forces now face the choice between retreating to milder weather 40 miles beyond the Don River or freezing to death where they stand. The Soviet noon communique today stated that the front has been firmly stabilized since the freezing weather arrived last Saturday, and that the ground is now frozen so hard that the Germans are unable to dig dugouts, leaving them no choice but to retreat or die. Terrible Russian blizzards are expected to arrive any day now, sweeping the steppeland around Stalingrad, rendering military operations nearly impossible. Harsh winter weather has also taken hold along the Tuapse and Nalchik fronts in the Caucasus, where the Red Army has developed their initiative and improved their positions.
...

And this also explains all those jokes, twenty years later, in the TV series "Hogan's Heroes" about Germans being sent to the Russian front as punishment.

...

("HAH!" roars Joe. "T'em cawrs is doity, t'em conductehs is joiks, an'nem bums downa station treat ya like cat'l! I should pay extra? I ASK YA!" "If t'ey transfeh ya t' Bush Toiminal, ya can go t'woik f'a nickel," notes Sally. "Oh, I put in f'tat mont's ago," huffs Joe. "But t'ey like me at Lake Success," he sighs. "I got apt-i-tude. T'foehman says no tellin' how fawr I can go. BUT I DON' WANNA GO FAWR ONNA LON' GUYLAN' RAIL ROAD!")
...

In the '80s, when I started working in NYC, I met people who said it, not ironically, just like that: "LON' GUYLAN' RAIL ROAD."

...

(Hey, it works for Annie.)

The most successful environment I've ever seen for rehabilitating troubled youths (and crooks and criminals in general) was 1970s TV shows, but comicstrips in the '40s do a pretty good job too.

...

A few days of working in a 55 degree office may change your minds. Ask me how I know.
...

"Just think what my boy friend would think if he knew I wore long woolen underwear!"
"*If* Helen?"

...

Welcome to the neighborhood!
...

This is the exact reason people who can buy plenty of land around their houses do: they want to put as much distance as they can between them and their (Bim-like) neighbors. (I have lived in apartment buildings my entire adult life, so I'm not talking my book.)

...

"You want me to what? But I run a mimeograph machine! What am I gonna do, drown 'em in paperwork?"
...

"I have an idea, Sir, how 'bout we try bombing the living hell out of the fighter station first and, if that doesn't work, we then go with your crazy 'parachute in the not-paratrooper-trained men' plan?"

...

Aren't you cold?

Now's the time to use the "I may not come back alive" line.

 

[LizzieMaine]

("The very idea," huffs the chairman of the Hempstead Rotary Club Speakers Committee. "We thought you were coming here to talk to us about That Man In The White House!" And congratulations are in order to Miss Falkenburg and Mr. McCrary. Hey, ever consider going into radio?)

A powerful flank drive by the Russians has already thrown a new German offensive against Stalingrad out of gear, forcing the Nazis to divert big forces to defense positions. according to frontline dispatches today. The new offensive raged on over hard-frozen ground in sub-freezing weather, but the Germans not only appeared checked, but to have lost twice as much ground as they have gained. Radio Moscow reported today that Red Army troops have retaken a village northwest of Stalingrad, and two villages southeast of Nalchik in the Caucasus.

Selective Service headquarters is expected to issue instructions shortly to local draft boards to begin drafting 18 and 19 year olds in order to fill the Army's January quota. The bill permittiing induction of teen-age youths is on President Roosevelt's desk today and is expected to be signed before the weekend. As soon as the bill officially becomes law, an order will go out from Selective Service headquarters calling on local boards to immediately classify all youths who registered last June, and the President will then designate a registration day for youths who have reached the age of 18 since the last registration day. The bill passed the Senate yesterday on a voice vote, with only scattered "noes." While many youths in the 18-19 group have already enlisted voluntarily in the armed forces, it is believed that between 600,000 to 800,000 18 and 19 year olds are presently registered, with a substantial number turning 18 since last June soon to be included. Although attempts will be made to meet the Army's January draft quota using registrants from this age group, there is no guarantee that local boards will complete the task of classification before January, and thus married men without children may continue to be called, despite the Army's stated preference for younger men.

The supply of fuel oil and natural gas available for heating civilian homes on the East Coast will be cut further under new orders from the War Production Board, and cuts have also been ordered by Petroleum Coordinator Harold Ickes in the civilian supply of gasoline in the Eastern territory. Deliveries of natural gas to new civilian and industrial customers has been ordered halted by the WPB, with the ban extending on November 30th to all natural gas-fired heating equipment. Motorists, meanwhile, in the 17 states of the Eastern zone can expect their weekly A-card ration to be cut from four gallons to three under Mr. Ickes' order reducing the available civilian gasoline supply by 139,000 barrels daily, with the savings to be diverted to meet military needs on the newly-opened North African front.

A Brighton Beach attorney will serve from a year and a half to three years in Sing Sing Prison in connection with a draft-classification racket, and drew a severe tongue-lashing from Kings County Judge Louis Goldstien. Thirty-eight year old Charles Kauffman of 3030 Brighton 12th Street was convicted on October 22nd of second-degree grand larceny after he convinced a Borough Park woman to pay him $500 in cash with the promise that he would see to it that her son's draft status was reclassified from 1-A to 3-A. Judge Goldstien blasted Kauffman for "sabotaging the war effort," and called his actions "a particularly heinous offense at a time when millions of young men are preparing to make the supreme sacrifice."

There are approximately 28,000 unemployed persons in the city, according to an estimate prepared by Governor-Elect Thomas E. Dewey's Committee on Unemployment, and that figure will be used as the basis of a study of the present jobless situation, with the expectation that a report will be ready when the new Governor takes office on January 1st. The Governor-Elect noted that the peak of unemployment of the city exceeded 400,000, with much idle factory space and production capacity.

The last single men available for military service in the territory of Local Board No. 243, covering Astoria, Woodside, and Jackson Heights, left for Camp Upton yesterday after a community farewell party. The exhaustion of the supply of single men in that section means the next draft call for Board No. 243 will be made up entirely of married men unless teen-age youths are classified and available at that time.

("Hey Kids! WAR IS FUN!")

The H. C. Bohack Company has joined wholeheartedly in the "Share The Meat" campaign by issuing a series of weekly booklets furnishing recipes designed to do just that by making the meat supply go further. Each booklet will include complete menus for a family of four for the entire week, with Meatless Tuesday observed, based on the recommended weekly ration of 2 1/2 pounds of meat per person. The company's weekly newspaper advertisements will hereafter no longer encourage the purchase of this or that specific type of meat, but will rather stress the theme "We'll Do With This So He May Have More!" The booklets are now available at all Bohack stores in Brooklyn and Long Island.

("No moeh brisket?" sighs Joe. "No moeh brisket," affirms Sally. "Try t'is mutton. An' chew it slow, it's gotta last.")

("Honeymoon" is an awful lot of plot to pack into one picture. Do they really need a second feature? And meanwhile, "Mr. Sycamore" is one of the oddest pieces of theatre you'll ever see -- based on a radio play about a sad man who wishes he could turn into a tree, and, in fact, does. It loses something in the visual translation.)

The National Board of Review of Motion Pictures passed a resolution today urging theatre operators to suspend the showing of double-feature bills for the duration of the war "in order to save time and critical materials." The resolution followed an address to the Board at the Hotel Pennsylvania by OWI Motion Picture Bureau Chief Lowell Mellett, who denounced double features as "a plague."

(When you're done there, I could use some help too.)

A Flushing baker was fined $200 yesterday for health code violations stemming from his use of soured condensed milk in his products. William Graf of 166-01 65th Street was brought into Flushing Magistrate's Court by Department of Health Inspector Harold Vasa, who told Magistrate Henry A. Soffer that he discovered a barrel half full of "soured and fermented" milk on the premises. Magistrate Soffer reprimanded the baker for "putting money before everything else" by using the spoiled milk for four months after he knew it had spoiled.

Two men were arraigned on manslaughter charges in Queens Felony Court yesterday in connection with the death of a diver. Twenty-six-year old Owen Davis drowned while at work in Newtown Creek Wednesday, near a Socony-Vacuum Oil Company dock at the foot of Review Avenue in Long Island City. His two co-workers 43-year-old Carlton Dixon of Manhattan and 46-year-old Harry Evans of Brooklyn were charged on the basis of negligent operation of the diving equipment. Magistrate Abner Surpless ordered the two men released on $500 bail pending a hearing on November 26th.

("Whozis guy Hoisch?" sniffs Sally. "An' howzee rate gettin' inta see Rickey? T'fathead won' even retoin my cawls!" "I'm f'Fitz," agrees Joe. "Fitz'll make a swell manageh." "Yeah," agrees Sally. "BUT WHO SUGGESTED IT FOIST?")

"Arrangements are being made," according to National League President Ford Frick, which will enable the Philadelphia Phils to continue in operation in 1943, following a meeting between league officials and team president Gerry Nugent, whose insolvency is reported to be imminent. "There will be no sale of the club," declared Mr. Frick, who characterized the meeting with Nugent as "one of cooperation, not a freeze-out."

(All in a day's work!)

("What? You can use it to shoot out the lock! What did you THINK I was suggesting?")

(Either Cottonmouth doesn't realize he dropped his cigarette, or he wants two fingers of Scotch, neat.)

("Do you have any idea what this'll do to our insurance premiums???")

(That's nothing, wait'll he blows up a submarine.)

 

[LizzieMaine]

And in the Daily News...

Somebody find George Bungle and tell him -- TOOTSIE IS FOUND AT LAST!

Funny how we haven't seen anything about the Flynn case lately.

"Now get back to work before the mimeograph gets cold."

Manny from Pep Boys is an agent of Prune Face? THIS GOES DEEPER THAN ANYONE THOUGHT!

"The comely youth upstairs." HEY KIDS, COMICS!

"We all have our part to play."

"Did you hear? Billionaire industrialist Bim Gump is a roaring drunk!" "Well, who wouldn't be with those relatives of his?"

The line between expert trolling and talking too much is exceedingly fine.

You could always go to work for Wumple & Company -- I'm sure Snipe could use a hand keeping Chigger in line.

"You know what to do." "Yes sir. Senga told me all about this kid. Where do you want to meet for dinner, I should have this wrapped up before the train pulls out."

 

[LizzieMaine]

Oh, and...

Don't think you're getting away with anything!

 

[Fading Fast]

...

("Honeymoon" is an awful lot of plot to pack into one picture. Do they really need a second feature? And meanwhile, "Mr. Sycamore" is one of the oddest pieces of theatre you'll ever see -- based on a radio play about a sad man who wishes he could turn into a tree, and, in fact, does. It loses something in the visual translation.)
...

Somehow or other, I've never seen "Once Upon a Honeymoon," which is odd as plenty of RKO pictures show up on TCM and elsewhere. It could be a "right issue" as there are all sorts of one-off rights issues that keep even very old pictures from being seen.

...

("Whozis guy Hoisch?" sniffs Sally. "An' howzee rate gettin' inta see Rickey? T'fathead won' even retoin my cawls!" "I'm f'Fitz," agrees Joe. "Fitz'll make a swell manageh." "Yeah," agrees Sally. "BUT WHO SUGGESTED IT FOIST?")
...

That was an awkwardly written story, but it would be great to see Fitz get the job.

...

("What? You can use it to shoot out the lock! What did you THINK I was suggesting?")
...

There's still a month and a half to go, but we might have a winner in the smallest-waist-in-a-comicstrip competition for 1942.

And in the Daily News...

Somebody find George Bungle and tell him -- TOOTSIE IS FOUND AT LAST!
...

I miss "The Bungle Family," but it is nice that Tootsie popped up.

The wealthy guy willing to stay in jail rather than pay the penalty and alimony is a new story for Page Four. I hope Page Four continues reporting on this one as there's no way it's over. Also, the video of how he wound up on the floor with the girl in bed would be, how shall we say it, interesting.

...

Funny how we haven't seen anything about the Flynn case lately.
...

Wasn't the Flynn case "held for a full trial," so I assumed that means it's on hold for a bit as the legal system does its thing. I was surprised as, until that "ruling," I thought we were seeing the "full trial."

You'd get some different answers to that question if asked today.

The pigtails' ploy seems to have backfired. It was too forced and obvious.

...

Manny from Pep Boys is an agent of Prune Face? THIS GOES DEEPER THAN ANYONE THOUGHT!
...

Basements 'r Us has a hydraulic roof division that it expects great growth from once the flying car is invented after the war.

...

You could always go to work for Wumple & Company -- I'm sure Snipe could use a hand keeping Chigger in line.
...

"Sure, take a job in town and let your old, sick father do it all; heck, farms practically run themselves [sotto voce] you ingrate. And I stayed up all night with you when you had colic."

Oh, and...

Don't think you're getting away with anything!

"Honestly, Judge, we all got out and carried it the last ten miles."

 

[LizzieMaine]

(A day of momentous developments. And if this elephant business isn't enough to convince Harry J. Tuthill to forego retirement and take up his pencil once more, then I just don't know what could.)

Brooklyn shipyard workers were urged to work faster and harder in a speech to employees of the Sullivan Dry Dock and Repair Corporation at the foot of 23rd Street by Rear Admiral James M. Irish, supervisor of ship construction for the Third Naval District. Speaking to a crowd of 3000 yard workers, the Rear Admiral urged them to work with pride and dedication with the hope that sailors aboard the ships they build will "praise, not scorn" the yards that fashioned their vessels.

A 26-year-old bandit described as "the Fashion Plate Robber" confessed yesterday that he held up three loan company offices in order to get money to marry "a blonde" he met at a racetrack. Well-dressed Edward Morgan told Judge Peter Brancato that he stole a total of $186 from a clerk and two customers at a Bushwick office of the Household Finance Company at 1336 Broadway, and that he was also responsible for two other robberies of loan company offices in Brooklyn and Queens. Police discovered upon his arrest that he had escaped from the Pontiac, Illinois state penitentiary, to which he had drawn a sentence of one year to life on a robbery conviction this past July. Morgan was remanded to jail to await sentence on the local charges.

The joint trial of four storekeepers for technical violations of state dimout regulations before Magistrate James A. Blachfield in Flatbush Court was turned yesterday into a public hearing over the confusion resulting from conflicts between requirements under the State War Emergency Act and new blackout rules promulgated by the U. S. Army. Three of the cases were joined together under the auspices of the Flatbush Chamber of Commerce as a single test case in an effort to obtain clarification on exactly what the regulations now require. Chamber Preisdent J. William Teske indicated that he plans to consult with Mayor LaGuardia to determine if it is possible to suspend enforcement of the state regulations pending a test of the Army order, and will also consult with Chief Magistrate Henry H. Curran to determine if uniform action on the regulations is possible. The four storekeepers were all found guilty, but sentence has been suspended.

Few 18 and 19 year olds are likely to be taken by the draft until February at the earliest according to New York City Selective Service Director Col. Arthur V. McDermott. Col. McDermott also indicated that youths who have turned 18 since June 30th will be required to register within about a week to ten days. Until the teen-agers are ready for mass induction, the draft will continue to call men over 20 in the 1A, 3A and 3B classes, interspersed in some instances with available 18 and 19 year olds who, as they are classified, will automatically be placed at the top of the draft list. No provision under the new law has been made for any exemption for college students, but those still in high school may be deferred to the completion of their present academic year.

A Federal law banning the poll tax faced the possibility of a fatal filibuster in the Senate yesterday by Senator Theodore G. Bilbo (D-Miss.) who vowed to "talk until Christmas" in order to kill the measure. Sen. Bilbo declared that he had a 30-day speech prepared, and would give it in its entirety "to cover all the implications of so far reaching a matter." He further warned Senate Democratic Leader Alben W. Barkley to have a Christmas tree placed in the Senate chamber, "because that's the only way he'll get to see one." If the present bill is not passed by January 1st, sponsors will be forced to start the process over again. The Bilbo filibuster is the first such action in the Senate since southern senators talked an anti-lynching bill to death in 1937.

(Not so foxy now, are you?)

("And get those moldy oranges out of my refrigerator!")

Screen and stage actress Laura Hope Crews, who played "flighty women" in movie productions for years, culminating with her role as Aunt Pittypat in "Gone With the Wind" died in a Manhattan sanitarium yesterday at the age of 62. Miss Crews, whose last stage role was as Aunt Abby in "Arsenic and Old Lace," becomes the third great character actress to die in the past three weeks, following the passing of May Robson and Edna May Oliver. In addition to her work on screen over the past thirteen years, Miss Crews was a notable diction coach, who helped many Hollywood performers overcome their fear of the microphone at the dawn of talking pictures.

A 49-year-old fancy figure skater who dazzed spectators with his figure-eights at the rink on the old World's Fair grounds will serve an eight-year sentence in Federal prison on a counterfeiting charge. Treasury agents arrested Edward Wellman two weeks ago at the Flushing Meadow rink after tracking him from Florida, where he had jumped bail on a six-count counterfieting indictment in 1941. In a search of Wellman's Manhattan apartment agents found over 900 counterfeit half-dollar coins. U. S. Attorney Martin Klein described Wellman yesterday in Manhattan Federal Court as "the cleverest coin counterfeiter in the United States."

("Finally," mutters Secretary John McDonald. "Got my tickets, got my grip, got my expense account, and as much time in Florida as I need!" But just as his fingers brush lightly on the worn brass doorknob, comes a thundering rumble from the back office. "One moment, my boy!" approaches the rumble, and an enormous palm grasps Mr. McDonald's shoulder. "I would be remiss, dear boy, if I did not call to your attention the fact that you have neglected to carry along my gift, a memento which you will no doubt gaze upon in years to come with much fondness." "I told you, Mr Rickey," sighs McDonald. "I don't want the moosehead." "Nonsense, my boy, nonsense. Accept it as a token of the deep esteem in which I..." "I don't want the moosehead, sir. I've never liked the moosehead. It gives me the creeps. The eyes follow me around the room. MacPhail did that, I know he did it on purpose, but he's gone now, sir, and I DON'T HAVE TO PUT UP WITH IT ANY MORE, I DON'T! I DON'T WANT THE MOOSEHEAD! I HATE THE MOOSEHEAD! Besides, it isn't even a moose. Tommy Holmes says it's an elk!" "JUDAS PRIEST, my boy!" thunders Mr. Rickey. "As a member of the B. P. O. E. myself of longstanding, AND of the Loyal Order of Moose, I would be the first, the FIRST, my boy, to recognize the difference! No, my boy, it is no elk, nor is it a Lion or a Knight of Pythias! That, sir, is a moose, positively a moose, and I INSIST that you take it away now, with my deepest compliments, sir." "Is that an order, sir?" "Yes, my boy, that is an order." And Secretary John McDonald sinks slowly into his chair, his head once more cradled in his hands.)

("Mexican Spitfire's Elephant?" Tootsie sure gets around.)

(POLLY PLUMPSETT! POLLY PLUMPSETT! POLLY PLUMPSETT!)

(They'll find something to do. For the first couple of minutes, anyway.)

(Well, at least he found his cigarette.)

("I'M NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR THE CRUDE STEREOTYPING!" insists Bo. "BLAME BECK!")

(NEVER INSULT A WRITER!)

 

[LizzieMaine]

And in the Daily News...

"Gypsy Markoff, the muy caliente accordionist?" Quick, sign her up for Broadway while you still can.

One of my number-onest of number one peeves: idiots who flounce around in the dark of night on a dimly-lit street dressed entirely in black. IF I HIT YOU YOU EARNED IT.

"Louisiana Hayride?" Oh boy, I love Victor Moore. And that Zorina is pretty good too.

Just so long as they don't bring in buses instead.

YOU SHOT A DOG? HEY WHERE"S SANDY????

How many building inspectors did they have to bribe to get the permits for this?

Guess who's about to join the WAACs?

Anything to avoid raking the leaves!

I'm impressed that Willie got into that rumble seat, but I'll be more impressed if he can get out.

What is it, National Stereotype Day or something? Meanwhile, the least they could have done is given Super Secret Agent Teen a private compartment.