The Era -- Day By Day

[LizzieMaine]

And in the Daily News...

Ah, Tommy Manville. It's a pity he never hooked up with Peggy Hopkins Joyce.

Yep, most ice cream intended for home consumption in 1941 is still sold on a carry-out basis at fountains and candy stores, hand packed into small cartons, and is eaten within an hour or so of purchase. Pre-packaged ice cream intended for freezer storage is very much a recent innovation.

"Oh yeah?"

Actually, "Daddy" hired a bunch of out of work B-picture actors just to keep Punj out of trouble.

And whose golf clubs are those? On $11 a week, you sure aren't paying greens fees.

Ever have "One Of Those Days?"

"Third degree burns? Well, doctor, it was like this..."

Well, there's no reason anyone should be happy...

"Maybe I could foist her off on my rattlebrained hepcat grandson?" "Sure, she's his own age, but.." "Who? No, I meant Pruny."

Mush has been waiting YEARS for this.

 

[Harp]

^Motion for a directed verdict akin to Raven's Queen Gambit invite; prosecution's admitted
witness incapacitation is classic Slav manuever but of dubious tactical vantage against defense
counsel centre board focus. Defense chair must immediately challenge on basis of incapacitation
to seal Gambit. A request to approach is best next move. Just sayin' heres.

 

[Harp]

Dude just shoved somebody offaledge.

 

[Fading Fast]

...
(But who'll speak for the golfers????)...

One thing we've learned since is that no matter how much land the City acquired, it should have acquired more. At least pre-Covid, NYC airports were insanely overcrowded and have been for decades.

....In Hollywood, film star Joan Blondell has been subpoenaed to testify in the trial of a skin specialist who claims that he has a contract to sell $41,000 worth of special beauty mud to a concern headed by Miss Blondell, her husband Dick Powell, and a prominent Los Angeles physician. Dr. H. Dudley Abrams is charged with swindling $27,000 out of a Hollywood insurance man as an investment in the mud by claiming the involvement of the celebrity couple. The purported backers of the mud say they have never heard of Dr. Abrams, and have nothing to do with the mud....

There's obviously more to this story, but I think we've pretty much got the gist of it and don't need (or want) the added details.

...[ ("Forty Thousand Horsemen" is a pretty famous Australian picture, but you don't see too many famous Austrialian pictures in the United States in 1941, or even now. "The Hot Mikado," a swing production of the Gilbert & Sullivan operetta with an all-Black cast, was a huge hit at the World's Fair, and I would gladly go to New Jersey, or anywhere else, for a chance to see it.)...

The variety of movies available to see is quite impressive. Say what you will of the studio system, it could churn out product.

Nice to see "Hellz a Poppin" still kicking.

... View attachment 354198 (In an era where teams play 77 home games, with most of them during the day, and with single-admission doubleheaders nearly every Sunday, drawing a million is a huge accomplishment. Drawing a million under those circumstances, in a park with a listed capacity of 34,219, is a stupendous accomplishment. "SO WHEAH WE GONNA PLAY T' WOIL' SERIOUS AGAIN?")...

The cantilevered stadium looks less crazy by the day.

Really excited for Whirlaway at the Travers, or as it likes to bill itself, "The Fourth Jewel of the Triple Crown."

....
(OK, lawyers -- how long before the whole bunch of them are hauled up for contempt of court?)...

Today just affirms my earlier comment, The Bungles and the The Gumps must never meet - we'd be asking too much of whatever holds the universe together.

... (Rarely do you see a middy blouse cut this low. Are you sure you didn't work with Leona at that pirate club?)...

Dear Lizzie, I see nothing wrong with her blouse. Sincerely, Burma

... ] Ah, Tommy Manville. It's a pity he never hooked up with Peggy Hopkins Joyce....

The 12-year old's got the mother's number.

... ] Yep, most ice cream intended for home consumption in 1941 is still sold on a carry-out basis at fountains and candy stores, hand packed into small cartons, and is eaten within an hour or so of purchase. Pre-packaged ice cream intended for freezer storage is very much a recent innovation.....

"Healthy" and "Nourishing"

... View attachment 354210
"Oh yeah?"... .

Sally, thoughts?

... Ever have "One Of Those Days?"...

Gould is now scheduled to meet with your high school counselor, Lizzie, as this man needs some professional help.

 

[Harp]

^Manville is a craddle robbing old fool. But, if a man needs a vice, women are the best vice to have.
And if ya can afford this particular vice, deduct all you can from the ol' 1040EZ under personal deduction.

If ya have a '94 Jaguar XJS convertible with an India 6 engine that only gives 15 miles per gallon
of Superunleaded British Petroleum milk for that cat, do not attempt to take this particular expense charge.
Believe me, the Internal Rectum Service ain't even gonna let it happen.

 

[LizzieMaine]

The Soviet Union today accepted "with speed and enthusiasm" the Anglo-American proposal for a tripartite war conference in Moscow, with Soviet Premier Josef Stalin urging that the meeting be held as soon as possible, and promising to take all necessary steps to schedule the conference. Stalin, in his dual role as Premier and Defense Commissar, will be the chief Soviet delegate to the meeting. Sources in London suggest that Foreign Secretary Anthony Eden or Lord Beaverbrook, Minister of Supply, will represent Great Britain at the conference, while those same sources expect that Lend-Lease Administrator Harry Hopkins, who visited Moscow recently, and who participated in the Roosevelt-Churchill conference at sea this week, will represent the United States.

President Roosevelt comes ashore at Rockland, Maine this afternoon, following the completion of his unprecedented seagoing conference with Prime Minister Winston Churchill. The Presidential yacht Potomac will make port in the coastal city some time after 12 PM, and Mr. Roosevelt will be taken by car to the Rockland railroad station, where he will board a special train for Washington. It is expected that the President will speak with reporters in Rockland before boarding the train, with scores of correspondents having descended upon the city in anticipation of the President's arrival, in expectation of learning new facts about the Roosevelt-Churchill conference.

Upon his return to the White House, the President will turn his attention to revisions in the Lend-Lease program intended to provide comprehensive aid to the Soviet Union. Administration officials offered what they deemed "pure guesses" in suggesting that another $10,000,000,000 will be sought from Congress for combined aid to Britain, Russia, and China, up from a previous estimate of $6,000,000,000.

Three great Russian armies have smashed or slowed German advances all the way from Lake Onega on the Finnish front to the Ukraine, authoritative Soviet sources stated today. Marshals Klementi Voroshilov, Semyon Timoshenko, and Semyon Budenny have thrown fresh masses of men and materiel onto the front and the Germans are said to be suffering "frightful losses" in "a desperate attempt" to continue their third great offensive of the war.

A mandatory reduction of ten percent in the amount of gasoline supplied to filling stations on the Eastern Seaboard announced today by the Office of Price Administration and Civilian Supply, following the failure of voluntary curbs to reduce fuel consumption in the shortage zone, is expected to be followed shortly by even more drastic official action. OPA Administrator Leon Henderson today ordered the cut in supply to gasoline retailers from wholesalers, as directed by Federal oil coordinator Harold I. Ickes. Mr. Henderson described the reduction as an "interim move," to be followed shortly by a more detailed plan for allocating the distribution and consumption of gasoline. His statement is interpreted by observers as indicating that formal gasoline rationing to consumers is imminent.

A 24-year-old welterweight boxer from Bayside died last night after being knocked out in a bout at the Fort Hamilton Arena. Ray Bonti was taken to Norwegian Hospital after he was knocked out by opponent Al Dunbar of South Brooklyn. Doctors stated that Bonti suffered a severe head injury from the blow to the jaw that sent him to the canvas in the third round of the preliminary match. Doctors attempted to revive the boxer for fifteen minutes after he collapsed, but were unsuccessful.

("So THAT'S why the cellar keeps flooding!")

Brooklyn, Queens, and City Colleges have cancelled contracts for the purchase of more than $11,000 worth of students' chemical kits from the Kemkit Scientific Corporation, following the revelation that the chairman of the Brooklyn College chemistry department and two professors hold financial interests in that firm. Meanwhile, the Conduct Committee of the Board of Education is preparing to take action next week against Dr. David Hart, Dr. Charles Marlies, and Dr. Frederick L. Weber over their roles in the case. It is stated, however, that the case against Dr. Marlies will be mitigated by the fact that he severed his connections with the Kemkit firm when he was made a permanent member of the City College staff in 1936.

(Well, all but the shoes.)

1942 model automobiles will be distinctly less flashy than motorists are accustomed to, following a conference of auto industry officials in Washington. Meeting with defense authorities in the capital, the automakers agreed to take steps to reduce the use of chromium, aluminum, nickel, and other scarce materials by eliminating all bright trim from the new season's autos. Hubcaps, hood ornaments, headlight rims, and other brightwork will be replaced by simple painted ornamentation. Automakers are also said to be considering ways in which plastic materials might be used to reduce the need for steel in the superstructures of new cars.

("So," smirks Dr. Brady. "Why do you ask?")

(Gentrification, 1941 edition.)

(They say this kid Pollet can be a bit wild. Better wear your helmets, boys. And doesn't the Eagle have a more recent photo of Southworth? That one's at least fifteen years old, and he looks much more scowly and intimidating now.)

(Helen is far more suited to writing this column than I would be. My response woulda been "Yeah, it probably fell on the floor and under the bed when you grabbed for it with your bloody dripping hand they were trying to fix!")

("See?" says Boody Rogers. "Nothin' happens without the benefit of clergy! A good wholesome comic for the kiddies!")

(Everybody picks on poor Mrs. Dardanella.)

("Rolling around naked on a pile of money. What's it look like? Now close the door, you're letting in a draft.")

(Yep, some mighty fine lawyering we got going here.)

 

[LizzieMaine]

And in the Daily News...

Is it too much to hope that Senator Reynolds forgot to get a marriage license, and Miss McLean will fly into a rage, denounce him as a rattle-brained hepcat, and stalk off? Because I'm really looking forward to him slinking out of town in disgrace and going to New York to get fleeced by Senga.

Meanwhile, "Can ya beat t'at?" says Joe. "Solly Pincus wazzinna city yes'day an' sez he seen a seal walkin' right down Fit' Aveneh. I says t'im, I sez, "ahhh, ya been dippin' inna brine again, at's what you been doin'. 'At stuffl' make ya dopey.' But looka t'at, right t'ere inna paypa. A seal, walkin' down Fit' Aveneh." "It ain' no seal," replies Sally. "Issa sea lion. Sez right t'ere. It ain'na same t'ing. It's diff'nt." "Nah," says Joe, "you ain' foolin' me again witcha funny tawk. I'm onta ya now. T'paypa got it wrong. Solly seen a seal, wit' whiskas an' flippas an' allat, not no lion. I benna t'liberry up t'eah, I know what a lion looks like. Ain' puttin' nuttin' oveh on me, you ain't. Ya got me wit'tat story bout'a guy wit' t' wood nose, but ya ain't gittin' me again! No sah!"

KIDS TODAY!

I wish I had known, when I interviewed Clyde Sukeforth, that he had at one time managed the ineffable Mr. Mungo, because I am sure that he would have had some interesting and enlightening anecdotes to offer.

Dude's an idiot.

At last, some plot movement! Even Sandy's shocked at that.

I'll never be able to look at a dried gourd again.

It was common at carnivals and amusement parks, especially in the south and midwest, to hire a Black man to stick his head thru a canvas target, for customers to throw baseballs at. There were many people in 1941 who could see the racist debasement in this, and denounced the practice. I'm disappointed that Skeez isn't yet one of them.

Just another pleasant summer afternoon in the park.

I had no idea there was an actual river that ran thru Los Angeles, but there is -- and I do hope before this storyline is over, that Mush gets his chance to kick Moon into it.

And this old fool needs a dunking too.

 

[Fading Fast]

...A 24-year-old welterweight boxer from Bayside died last night after being knocked out in a bout at the Fort Hamilton Arena. Ray Bonti was taken to Norwegian Hospital after he was knocked out by opponent Al Dunbar of South Brooklyn. Doctors stated that Bonti suffered a severe head injury from the blow to the jaw that sent him to the canvas in the third round of the preliminary match. Doctors attempted to revive the boxer for fifteen minutes after he collapsed, but were unsuccessful....

"Baseball is a savage game."

"Almost all sports at the professional level are."

...
("So THAT'S why the cellar keeps flooding!")...

If a private company tried to pull this maneuver the uproar over "The Greed!" would be rightfully loud.

...
(Well, all but the shoes.)...

But does the uniform come with a pair of nylons? It would be hard for Miss Joan Leslie to look more like a Hollywood version of 1940s typical female teenager.

...
("So," smirks Dr. Brady. "Why do you ask?")...

Plenty of Page Four women (and plenty of not-Page Four women) just breathed a sigh of relief.

...[
(Helen is far more suited to writing this column than I would be. My response woulda been "Yeah, it probably fell on the floor and under the bed when you grabbed for it with your bloody dripping hand they were trying to fix!")..

Hospital workers deserve all appropriate respect and appreciation for the job they do, but the job does not - not one bit - allow for a little larceny on the side. I'm not saying that happened here as it might just have been lost, but in general, my experience has been there is no good system to protect things like your wallet or watch when you are in an emergency room.

...
Is it too much to hope that Senator Reynolds forgot to get a marriage license, and Miss McLean will fly into a rage, denounce him as a rattle-brained hepcat, and stalk off? Because I'm really looking forward to him slinking out of town in disgrace and going to New York to get fleeced by Senga....

The really odd thing about this story is that she has much more coin than he does.

... I'll never be able to look at a dried gourd again.....

"...that dried gourd he refers to as his head" is today's money line. I believe our friendly neighbor is trying to talk down the product right before he either attempts to buy it or invest in it. "It's probably worth nothing since it doesn't work, but I'd pay you, ehh, X (some small amount) just to take a chance on it, but I'll probably lose all my money."

...
And this old fool needs a dunking too.

Panel five explains why the IRL Page Four story about the 57-year-old Senator and the 20-year-old heiress makes no sense - she already has money (more than he).

 

[Harp]

And a slip between the tongue and the lip can cause a long fall.

Dude just pushed himself off a ledge. Well, he actually jumped out of the doghouse window.
...and the window was closed at the time.

anything to get away from Raven.

 

[Harp]

A criminal defendant scene comment, loose talk, explanation before lawyering-up is considered
the most factual testimony. Today with Miranda warning given as to the right to remain silent-
a First Amendment privilege with right of free speech-anything said is valid testimony.

In Quick all constituent mens rea elements requisite murder first are accounted and reflected in
defendant's actions. Anger, premeditation, malice of such deliberate intent are here immediately acted;
testified; then later disclaimed by defendant. So, Quick accidentally angered, accidentally loaded his weapon,
accidentally pointed the piece at defendant, accidentally forgot it was loaded, accidentally shot and killed her.

An absence of mitigating factors should never have downgraded Quick to manslaughter.

Post script comment:

Quick is most instructive inasmuch as requisite elements necessary to achieve an honest and justified verdict,
and, withstand appellate recourse are evident; yet for some inexplicable reason(s) Justice was not only dodged but a perverse downgrade to manslaughter with a meaningless eighteen month sentence given defendant.

A case from law school's criminal law text recounted a Texas murder circa 1920 in which an individual
armed with a Colt .45 1911 A1 pistol deliberately took a pot shot at a passing train, hitting a caboose car,
and killing a conductor then off-duty and asleep in a bunk. This individual was arrested, prosecuted, and sent
to the gallows for murder, the court declaring that he took full responsibility for his actions when he deliberately
squeezed the trigger of his pistol which he aimed at a train. A simple but sure legal analysis.

 

[LizzieMaine]

And eighty years ago this afternoon, The President rides up Park Street, about a hundred yards from where I'm now sitting. Those cobblestones still make regular reappearances when the pavement cracks up.

He's on his way to the railroad station, where a bronze plaque remains on the platform marking the point where he boarded the train back to Washington.

Nixon came here once too, but all people remember of that visit is that Pat got bit by a lobster.

 

[Fading Fast]

And eighty years ago this afternoon, The President rides up Park Street, about a hundred yards from where I'm now sitting. Those cobblestones still make regular reappearances when the pavement cracks up.

View attachment 354522 He's on his way to the railroad station, where a bronze plaque remains on the platform marking the point where he boarded the train back to Washington.

Nixon came here once too, but all people remember of that visit is that Pat got bit by a lobster.

Very cool pic. Any idea why didn't he just sail down to Washington?

The pavement in NYC quite often cracks to reveal cobblestones. It's such a neat connect to the past.

 

[LizzieMaine]

I think the idea was that he wanted to get back as quickly as possible to deal with the expansion of Lend Lease. A fast private train would get him from here to Washington by midnight, but sailing would have taken another day or so.

To this day when you go thru a pile of random old snapshots at any local flea market, you're likely to run across at least one of FDR, blurry and from a distance, taken on this day.

 

[Trenchfriend]

And eighty years ago this afternoon, The President rides up Park Street, about a hundred yards from where I'm now sitting. Those cobblestones still make regular reappearances when the pavement cracks up.

He's on his way to the railroad station, where a bronze plaque remains on the platform marking the point where he boarded the train back to Washington.

Nixon came here once too, but all people remember of that visit is that Pat got bit by a lobster.

Kind of mindblowing, that this was 80 years ago and the tram was already abandoned!!

 

[Harp]

The ride looks a 1933 V12 Lincoln.

_____

I walked inside a Red Lobster one afternoon for lunch behind a gentleman impeccably dressed in a blue raw silk suit,
when a lobster situated in the glass bowl hold near the entrance sided up and splashed him but good.
That ba***rd lobster had his ass on a plate covered with butter like lightning.

 

[LizzieMaine]

Kind of mindblowing, that this was 80 years ago and the tram was already abandoned!!

Yep, the trolleys stopped running here in 1931, which was a bit ahead of the trend in the rest of the Northeast. Despite several abortive attempts to start a bus system, we haven't had reliable public transportation since.

The trolley tracks are still buried under Park Street -- there was a big dig a few years back to replace a water main, and sections of track were exposed and removed, but most of the track was left in place.

 

[Harp]

My paternal grandfather was a retired Chicago Transit Authority trolley car conductor and my earliest memories
are he and I standing at the corner of Honore Avenue and 79th Street, and his pointing out the still embedded rails
glistening in the sun. Also, the daily milk wagon was pulled by horses. I loved to run out and pet the ponies.
Long ago days but not so distant in mind.

 

[LizzieMaine]

The United States and Great Britain have "come to a complete understanding" concerning Anglo-American cooperation toward the defeat of the Nazi menace, but the United States itself "is no nearer actual involvement in the war than before," stated President Roosevelt yesterday, after coming ashore from his historic seagoing conference with Prime Minister Winston Churchill. Addressing reporters gathered at Tillson's Wharf in Rockland, Maine, the President revealed that the conference with the Prime Minister was planned more than three months ago, but was delayed due to British military campaigns in Greece and Crete. The President indicated that he had not yet decided whether to outline the conference with Mr. Churchill to the American people in a special radio talk, suggesting that if reporters were careful to quote his remarks correctly, he "wouldn't have to go on the radio."

The President also criticized his secretary William D. Hassett for revealing that the Presidential yacht Potomac would make port in Rockland, due to the possibility of a Nazi submarine attack, but he expressed relief that the port was shrouded in fog yesterday morning as the vessel arrived at Penobscot Bay.

Mr. Roosevelt had words of praise for Russia, noting the stand of the Red Army against the Nazi war machine, and expressed his belief that the Soviets will hold off the German invasion force thru the coming winter. He stated that both he and Mr. Churchill are in firm agreement that Russia must receive all possible aid in its war against the Nazis.

In London, authoritative sources are reacting optimistically to reports following the Roosevelt-Churchill conference, and, noting the enthusiasm shown by Soviet Premier Josef Stalin for a three-power meeting in Moscow at the earliest possible opportunity, it is being stated in those quarters that "anti-Axis forces have now produced an alignment powerful enough to destroy the world's most powerful military machine."

The New York State American Legion voted yesterday to oppose any and all aid by the United States to the Soviet Union, passing, during a stormy convention in Rochester, a resolution in line with the policy laid out by National Legion Commander Milo J. Warner. Mr. Warner declared in stating the Legion's opposition to Soviet aid that "I would rather die fighting Hitler than support Stalin."

The needs of a two-ocean navy will mean a permanent construction boom at the Brooklyn Navy Yard. So declares the Yard's commandant, Rear Admiral Edward J. Marquardt, who predicted yesterday that a vast shrinkage in employment at the Yard is unlikely even after the end of the present emergency. "In the matter of obsolescence alone," said the Admiral, "we must be prepared for a great deal of work."

Transient motorists will feel the pinch as metropolitan gasoline dealers move to deal with an expected ten percent reduction in their supply quotas, in the face of an order from the Office of Price Administration. A cross-section of local filling-station operators indicated that they intend to take steps to reserve as much of their fuel supply as possible for regular customers, leaving out-of-town drivers to fend for themselves. "Why should we worry about transients," went the gist of their remarks, "when we have regular patrons who deserve all the breaks we can give them." It is expected by the station operators that the ten percent reduction in fuel deliveries will take effect tomorrow. Louis Kimmel, director of the Gasoline Merchants of Brooklyn and Queens, indicated his belief that the quota reduction will be insufficient to meet the emergency, and urged the OPA to take further steps to reduce gasoline consumption by the public. The organization will hold a meeting tomorrow night at Oetjen's Restaraunt in Flatbush to discuss the present emergency.

(Kids in my neighborhood used to do stuff like this. Once they had a good-sized raft made of pieces of an old telephone pole, driftwood, and scrap lumber tied to the town wharf, but it broke loose in a storm and floated out into the bay. We later found out that it had to be sunk by the Coast Guard as a menace to navigation, and that the authorities wanted a word with whoever was responsible for it. Ah, innocent childhood fun!)

A nationwide strike by telephone installers loomed closer yesterday as negotiations collapsed between the Association of Communications Equipment Workers and the Western Electric Company over wage progressions and the question of a closed shop. Approximately eight thousand telephone installers within the Bell System are represented by the union, and a conciliation meeting is to be sought in Washington next week in an attempt to break the impasse.

Borough President John Cashmore will send a bundle of genuine Brooklyn street signs to an Army camp in Vermont in order to give the local boys serving there a taste of the old home town. The signs will be paid for out of Mr. Cashmore's personal funds, and will represent twenty-six different Brooklyn streets, enough to replace the drab alphabet signs now used to mark the company streets at Fort Ethan Allen. The specific streets to be represented will be determined by vote of the camp's Brooklyn contingent.

The Borough President indicated yesterday that he will ask the Board of Estimate for $500,000 to fund reconstructive work on Fulton Street following the demolition of the final remaining portions of the L structure. Removal of the now-abandoned trolley tracks will be a priority, according to Mr. Cashmore, who warned that leaving the tracks in place will cause hazards in wet or icy weather and will tend to "slow down" the buses now running in place of the former trolley routes. He also announced yesterday that he will propose that the street be widened from 42 to 50 feet in order to better fill its role as a major shopping thoroughfare for the borough.

(IT'S ALWAYS THE BRAVES!! You'd think Mr. Stengel has something against Brooklyn, despite all those years he was paid good money not to manage.)

("Huh," huhs Joe. "Howbouttat? Ya guy Petey's got t'lowest battin' av'rage inna whole Nat'n'l League. Maybe he might do betta upta Montreal? I mean, lookit Mungo." Sally glares daggers. "He's still," she growls, "hittin' better'n YOU.")

Ace Parker is showing no sign of a limp as the Football Dodgers prepare to begin their first full-squad workouts of the pre-season tomorrow at Hun Junior School in Princeton, New Jersey. The 1940 National Football League Most Valuable Player appears fully recovered from the leg injury he sustained playing baseball for a Pittsburgh Pirates farm club in the Piedmont League, and has been in camp since Wednesday preparing for the official start of the training season tomorrow. All sixty members of the Grid Flock are required to be in camp tomorrow for the start of Coach Jock Sutherland's second year at the helm.

("Iron in his soul?" More like rust.)

Old Timer Charles Hughes of Jamaica recalls the old days of the 1880s at the Lyceum Theatre on Montrose Avenue, where "the gallery" squirmed on plain board seats, gleefully threw peanut shells on the floor and drank pink lemonade as a rousing "cowboy and Indian" drama unfolded on the stage. And just who was it who thought it was good fun to drop a few mothballs among the cream drops in the big candy jar?

Sidney Dean is the best informed actor on Broadway. You might not know his name, but if you've seen "Hellzapoppin'" -- and who hasn't -- Mr. Dean is that singular gentleman who sits at the side of the stage thruout each performance, ignoring the anarchy and reading a newspaper. Mr. Dean has been doing this since 1938, and has become extremely knowledgeable about all aspects of the news -- especially since he added a small portable radio to his routine, hidden inside his coat, and connected to a tiny earphone. He says he especially likes to listen to ball games and prize fights, and has rigged up a system of small visual signals he flashes to the boys in the orchestra pit to let them know the score. Sid says by now he knows every part of the show by rote, and believes he could understudy for anyone in the cast. "Except for the unicyclist," he notes. "I couldn't do that."

(Why isn't there a "Tarzan" opera? Huh? Why?)

(Hey Scarlett, how much would you charge to go to Boston for the weekend?)

(It used to be a custom among small children to yell BEAVER! at the sight on the street of a bearded man. Mr. Shaw is pretty damn tired of that custom.)

("I'm glad to see you in a panic-stricken sort of way." Who's writing this dialogue, Preston Sturges? And you gotta admire the courtroom security here.)

(The Comedy of Violated Expectations.)

(OUCH! Right thru the rotator cuff!)

 

[LizzieMaine]

And in the Daily News...

A doctor and a chiropractor? Nahh, it never would have lasted.

Careful chipping out those ice trays, folks, you poke a hole in the evaporator and this time tomorrow you'll be signing an installment contract at Davega.

Little Face may be a cheap little punk, but you gotta admire his ability to think on his feet.

Y'know something, Hennick? You talk too much.

If it's wild cavemen, don't worry, kid -- just whip out your flashlight and they'll worship you as a god.

CARDINALS?? You guys better not be rooting for the CARDINALS!

Well, then, I guess we know exactly what fate awaits Mr. Toemain the Great.

Shadow learns a valuable lesson.

Mr. King knows the ways of children well.

At last, Punj gets a sidekick of his own.

 

[LizzieMaine]

And as a bonus for today, the News goes in-depth on Buncombe Bob and the Hope Diamond Heiress!

"Bob never took the trouble to distinguish his family from the 'tobacco Reynolds' clan." Yeah, that explains a lot.