The Dress

[mysterygal]

Maybe it's just me, but...Around here, the main kind of attire is the jogging suit, pajama-suits or sweat suits. So wearing slacks or a skirt, I still get some mean looks from my fellow ladies (what's up with that anyways?) but I always feel like I need a reason to wear a dress. I'm not talking about a regular sundress or anything formal, the in-between types. I hate feeling that way but do! I don't know if it's because I don't have a 'job' (I'm a stay at home mother) that shy's me away...anybody else like this?

 

[Grnidwitch]

Maybe it's just me, but...Around here, the main kind of attire is the jogging suit, pajama-suits or sweat suits. So wearing slacks or a skirt, I still get some mean looks from my fellow ladies (what's up with that anyways?) but I always feel like I need a reason to wear a dress. I'm not talking about a regular sundress or anything formal, the in-between types. I hate feeling that way but do! I don't know if it's because I don't have a 'job' (I'm a stay at home mother) that shy's me away...anybody else like this?

It doesn't matter if you are a stay at home mom or a corporate bigwig, you dress the way you want to. There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with wearing a dress if that's what makes you feel good. Here's a reason to wear a dress, you are a successful mom and wife, you are very pretty and you take very good care of yourself, now, go put on your prettiest frock, touch up your lipstick and go give'em hell honey.

 

[mysterygal]

lol You'd be a good one to have around!

 

[Shearer]

I own a lot of the in between type dresses and get all kinds of weird looks, good and bad. I feel dressing in California is so laid back that even the in between types seem like formal wear... so watch out if you add stockings into the mix lol

I do a lot of running around up and down type stuff at work when I'm not messing around on the computer, so I usually save the dresses for the weekend. But I LOVE getting all dressed up to go out, even if it's just for necessary shopping. I'm a sucker for the dressing up ritual.

 

[BonnieJean]

It doesn't matter if you are a stay at home mom or a corporate bigwig, you dress the way you want to. There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with wearing a dress if that's what makes you feel good. Here's a reason to wear a dress, you are a successful mom and wife, you are very pretty and you take very good care of yourself, now, go put on your prettiest frock, touch up your lipstick and go give'em hell honey.

I totally agree! I'm a stay-at-home mom (although my boys are pretty much grown) and run a couple of part-time businesses from home, but I do enjoy wearing dresses and skirts. Whenever I wear them, I have a totally different attitude than when I'm wearing jeans and a t-shirt. I definitely feel more lady-like. I don't have much actual vintage clothing, but a lot of vintage-inspired ones and so I don't have to worry so much about ruining an antique. Actually, since I've been wearing more dresses and skirts, I prefer them over jeans--they're just more comfortable to me.

When I was younger I used to worry what others would think of me, but now that I'm approaching 50, that doesn't concern me anymore. I wear what I like, no matter what people think or how much they stare. When I wear my "lady clothes" I feel very confident. So, mysterygal, wear your dresses and slacks with pride and hold your head up high because your a woman and dressing true to your self.

Maybe we'll start a new fashion trend by wearing "lady clothes" instead of those modern "bags of clothes". My husband and I and 2 other couples went out on Saturday night and we were the only ones dressed vintage/vintage-inspired. We all received many, many compliments. People seemed a lot more polite to us too. It was so much fun being a lady, so why not be one every day--even while you're mopping the floor!

As Grnidwitch stated, you're a successful mom and wife, a beautiful and special person, so why not dress the part?

 

[Kim_B]

Every time I wear an "in-between" dress to work, a casual skirt, or even a nice pair of pants and my casual blazer, I am always asked if I have a job interview! Granted, the place I work is a machine shop, but still being in the front office you'd expect to dress a little nicer! :eusa_doh:

 

[Joie DeVive]

It isn't a stay-at-home mom thing. When I was teaching I almost never wore skirts or dresses, I stuck to slacks. Part of that was practicallity, but not all of it. To be honest, I felt pressure not to wear those items. I know it sounds strange, but I felt like if I wore skirts or dresses it would be more difficult to be taken seriously (by the parents and other teachers, not the kids). I don't know why I felt like that, but I did.

I say wear whatever works for you, no matter what it is, but I do understand the feeling that wearing dresses or skirts is somehow not accepted. [huh]

 

[Mojito]

How annoying to be judged on a matter such as broad preference in clothing! I can understand why this would grate, particularly if you encountered it often.

I can't say I've encountered it here in Sydney. I live on the beaches, which encourages a very casual approach to clothing. People wear their swimwear to the shops, for example, after a dip in the surf. Maybe with a pair of boardshorts pulled over them, or a caftan. But even so, dresses are worn everywhere. My sister, who has three kids under six, wears sweats when running around after them and doing housework. But she has a whole wardrobe of dresses, from simple sun dresses to her corporate type dresses and skirts and up to formal wear. Far from any resentment or derision, she's admired for her style.

I wear dresses very often, and even at work have never copped any attitude because of them - this is in spite of (or perhaps because of) the fact I work in the Arts community, which tends towards bohemiansim.

I'm with the consensus - you wear what makes you feel good! (Which is why I show up to work sometimes in a velvet dress or elaborate necklace).

 

[Miss_Bella_Hell]

I wear dresses all the time to class. The only comments I ever hear are "You always look so cute!" or "Where did you get that dress" or "You always are so ladylike!" The only time I got asked if I was on my way to an interview was when I was wearing a cardigan and wide leg trousers.

I have a ton of work-or-office appropriate dresses, and my fellow students don't even bat an eyelash anymore. At my new job the girls are full of compliments. Of course one has told me, at different times, that I looked like Snow White, then later, Mary Poppins. She assured me she meant it in a nice way.

 

[thebadmamajama]

Mysterygal, I'm so in on this one with you. I hate that everyone around me (especially on a college campus) is all in sweats and flip flops. So, when a girl comes out in a dress it MUST be some special occasion.

I thought life was a special occasion. [huh]

Boo on them, I'm wearing my dresses anyway!

 

[ohairas]

BadMama, love your new avatar!!

This is annoying as I get comments like "cute costume!".. Costume?? It's JUST a dress for crying out loud!

Thank goodness dresses are *really* in fashion this season. Hopefully some of this attitude will change.

But regardless if they change their attitude or not, I'm still gonna wear my "costumes".
I don't care what they think, and I'm not going to try to make them wear dresses, lol! (more for us anyways!)

Nikki

 

[LizzieMaine]

I think the idea of the dress as an informal garment has basically faded out of our culture thru disuse more than anything else -- and if you haven't really been exposed to that concept, it just seems too unusual: how can doing housework in a dress be practical or comfortable? When the idea's suggested, most women under 35 or so probably have never *seen* anyone actually doing so, and the only frame of reference they have is June Cleaver on Nick at Nite dusting the tops of the curtain rods in pearls and heels and a nice little Hattie Carnegie number.

But that's not reality and never was -- women who did housework in dresses did so in simple, practical, washable garments, with sensible shoes, and when you're dressed that way there's nothing fussy or impractical about it, at least not that I've experienced. I actually find a cotton housedress much more practical for chores than pants because there's more freedom of movement, and when I'm done there's only one garment to throw in the wash instead of two. What's not to like about that?

And yes, I wear dresses at work all the time -- and my job involves climbing up on high stools to thread the projectors, carrying film cans up four flights of stairs, and doing other strenuous physical activitites, and I've never felt compromised by my clothes. Plus the patrons always enjoy my outfits, so I've got a reputation to uphold!

 

[goldwyn girl]

99% of my wardrobe are frocks and skirts and I wear them daily, even if it's just to the supermarket. I no longer care what others think. I wear what I want and like. 90% of my wardrobe is vintage and I do my house work in day dresses, like Lizzie said it's more comfortable. When I'm out and about most people I see are wearing pants and flip flops or runners. I think it's so acceptable for people to go "out" dressed in pajamas and their hair not combed that the sight of someone "dressed" is now out of the ordinary. But for me I'll wear my dresses with a full makeup and hair done and hold my head high. And mysterygal as it's been said before, go put on your prettiest frock, touch up your lipstick and go give'em hell honey.

 

[Trixie]

I'm a stay at home mom too and I know exactly what you mean! When I first stopped working I felt really, really out of place in my dresses when I walked to the school. Then I realized it was the shoes more than the dresses. If you're skulking about the school in 3 inch heels you're really going to stand out and feel over dressed especially since most people do wear sweats and pj bottoms. I dont feel as out of place if the heels are lower. And dont let them bother you with their stares and comments. I still think a lot of the stay at home moms (around here at least) have an I'm too busy to look try to look nice mantra and they dont like when other stay at home moms dont follow the rules. Wear the dresses!

 

[Brooksie]

I say go for the dresses also! I feel much more confident if I am dressed up in a nice outfit - even if I am just going to the grocery store, than if i had on sweats (which i do not even own) if I wore sweats or cruddy jeans and flip flops every day I would be down right depressed! I have always loved clothes and dressing up and I would not want to give that up just to fit in with the crowd. I was talking to a girl at work just yestarday and she is a very pretty 21 year old gal and she told me she could live in jeans, sweat shrits and flip flops everyday and she would be happy she says she just likes to be comfortable. I told her that I would feel dumpy and depressed if I dressed like that ever let alone everyday!

Brooksie

 

[Amy Jeanne]

Even if I'm not going anywhere I still do my hair and makeup. I don't need a reason -- it just makes me perk up and feel good about myself. Maybe a nice dress would do the same for you. I think that once you start doing it you'll never go back to needing a "reason" to wear one! I love all my skirts and dresses and wear them often. If it wasn't so cold and windy up here, I'd wear them all the time and I wouldn't even own a pair of pants.

I don't own flip flops or sweatpants/pajama bottom pants, and I only own one pair of jeans. Like Brooksie said, I'd feel very dumpy and depressed if I wore such clothes everyday! I get the cold stares from women, too, but I just make sure I'm smiling and having a good time (even if I'm not!) Makes 'em even madder

 

[pretty faythe]

Its funny/sad, but my kids are so used to seeing me in pants/jeans/capris etc that yesterday I was going to wear a dress, one of the cute lones I bought the other day (before I realized how windy and miserable it was outside) that my 8 year old ask me why I was getting dressed up, if I was going somewhere. She is used to me with the vintage hair, its ok if I wear a skirt, but if I am putting on a dress I must be going some where. Grr. I picked it up and showed her it was just a nice dress, nothing fancy, nothing for going out or any such thing.
Crazy kids.

 

[Sunny]

I totally agree! I'm a stay-at-home mom (although my boys are pretty much grown) and run a couple of part-time businesses from home, but I do enjoy wearing dresses and skirts. Whenever I wear them, I have a totally different attitude than when I'm wearing jeans and a t-shirt. I definitely feel more lady-like.

I discovered the attitude difference in a big way for myself in my last year at college. At that point I was slightly overweight, to the point that not many of my old clothes fit well, but I was extremely unwilling to buy 'big' clothes. I took to wearing my old skirts almost exclusively. I told myself and others it was because they were more comfortable and I like them. True, and good reasons, but the biggest reason is that they fit better and didn't look nearly so terrible as ill-fitting jeans.

It was a very large university in a fairly small Texas town, with a hot to temperate climate, so the uniform is shorts or jeans and t-shirts, with the occasional jacket or coat when it's chilly. I began when it was still hot, wearing a denim skirt with a nice tee or button-front shirt and sandals. That wasn't too far unusual. As it got colder, though, I began switching to nicer button-front shirts and a nicer skirt, often with a very fitted 1980s wool jacket over it. I'd wear hose and riding-type boots. It was very practical and very fetching, especially with scarf and gloves, and by then very different from what everyone else wore. I thus worked myself into being comfortable being 'dressed up.'

The big discovery was, like for BonnieJean, the change it had on my attitude. When I wore a skirt, or especially my nice blazer, I didn't want to slouch through class, taking a few notes and then nodding off. Between classes, I didn't feel right about taking a nap in the sun or reading for fun. I paid attention in class and tried to learn, and between classes I'd redeem the time by doing homework. It's an incredible attitude shift that I never intended.

My father has noticed the same thing. The place where he and now I work went to a 'business casual' dress code some years ago. He noticed that one woman who worked for him usually showed up on the far casual end of the spectrum, and her work was pretty shoddy. But occasionally she'd turn up dressed nicely. He said her work was amazingly superior on those days.

It's a good form of pride that's lacking in society now: Self-respect. Not the doubtful self-esteem that says, "I'm going to wear what I feel like and you'd better not look down on me for it," but the self-respect that says, "I have a standard for myself and I'm going to live up to it." The attitude that goes with self-respect often shows in the confident carriage or even swagger, depending on the personal fashion - which doesn't have to be dresses, of course.

I'm a very shy person, and it's taken me a long time to find a personal fashion. Now that I have it, though, it's a self-respect issue. I don't have to tell myself or others belligerently that I don't care what people think; it's simply an unspoken attitude that they don't matter. I hardly notice when people glance at me any more.

 

[Sunny]

Its funny/sad, but my kids are so used to seeing me in pants/jeans/capris etc that yesterday I was going to wear a dress, one of the cute lones I bought the other day (before I realized how windy and miserable it was outside) that my 8 year old ask me why I was getting dressed up, if I was going somewhere. She is used to me with the vintage hair, its ok if I wear a skirt, but if I am putting on a dress I must be going some where. Grr. I picked it up and showed her it was just a nice dress, nothing fancy, nothing for going out or any such thing.
Crazy kids.

It's just what we're used to seeing. Like Lizzie said, the concept of a dress as an informal garment has just faded away. I think you're on just the right track to train your children to be comfortable with any way people dress.

 

[Grnidwitch]

Ya know, you can wear jeans/capris whatever and still look great. A nice pair of shoes, your make-up done nicely and heck your hair can be in a wrap/snood whatever and you'll still give off an air of ladylikenss. I really get sick of wearing jeans on the weekends but being that my guy and I ride motorcycles, I have to wear'em. I miss wearing my summer dresses and I always wore white leather keds and bobby socks. Since coming to this site, I want to be more ladylike. I want to dress well, no matter what the outfit might be. I say, let's just class the world up a bit and just wear nice things and hold our heads up high. What do ya' say girls......................:eusa_clap