The Decline of the Well Put Together Lady

[Flicka]

A friend of mine once told me "When I first met you I thought you were so refined and ladylike, but then I got to know you and I realized that you ARE all that, but your are not the least bit prim".

In school a girl told me she'd hated me when we first met because I always had matching clothes and perfectly manicured nails etc. 'You were so perfect I just wanted to punch you,' she said. 'But you're not at all like that!'

Eh, no. Things aren't as pretty on the inside (as my fave musician would say).

 

[Miss sofia]

Ironically that happened to me not so long ago, one of my colleagues told me she found me slightly intimidating as i always wore such nice clothes and looked so well groomed. I did feel a little sad, as really i'm the least intimidating person i know!! Anyway i bought her coffee and we had a good chinwag and it's all good. It just goes to show how we perceive ourselves and how others see us, is, or can be, totally different.

 

[angeljenny]

A friend of mine once told me "When I first met you I thought you were so refined and ladylike, but then I got to know you and I realized that you ARE all that, but your are not the least bit prim".

The problem is that I might actually be a bit prim!

 

[LizzieMaine]

The problem is that I might actually be a bit prim!

And if that's who you are, there's not a bit wrong with it. Insisting that every woman should be loud and brash and brassy is just as obnoxious as insisting that every woman should be quiet and well-mannered.

 

[Miss Golightly]

The problem is that I might actually be a bit prim!

I've been called "prim and proper" before by someone and they meant it as an insult - I was actually quite pleased about it!

Going back to this article - http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-16740199 - there is a "Hot and Cold" Index in the Irish Times and on today's "Cold" was the following:

Criticism of people wearing pajamas to pick up their dole - It's nice to know that the staff at Damastown Social Welfare office, Dublin 15, are so smartly dressed, so well shaved and groomed, that they can lay down rules.

I mean - what is that supposed to even mean? That somehow not looking like you stepped out of the pages of Vogue is the same as wearing PJ's in public?

Anyway I just read a quote by Coco Chanel and agree with it 100% - "I don't understand how a woman can leave the house without fixing herself up a little - if only out of politeness...."

I think that is what it boils down to - being polite - but then again there isn't a lot of that going about these days......

 

[Caroline H]

A friend of mine once told me "When I first met you I thought you were so refined and ladylike, but then I got to know you and I realized that you ARE all that, but your are not the least bit prim".

What a lovely compliment!

I have noticed a big difference in how much credibility I have with our patients (I am a receptionist) when I am well put together and polished or less so. Sometimes I have to tell them things they don't want to hear (like "I'm sorry, but since you are an hour late for your 1/2 hour long appointment, we won't be able to see you today. Would you like to reschedule?") They tend to take me more seriously and comply with less argument when I look smart and well put together.

 

[sheeplady]

Going back to this article - http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-16740199 - there is a "Hot and Cold" Index in the Irish Times and on today's "Cold" was the following:

Criticism of people wearing pajamas to pick up their dole - It's nice to know that the staff at Damastown Social Welfare office, Dublin 15, are so smartly dressed, so well shaved and groomed, that they can lay down rules.

I mean - what is that supposed to even mean? That somehow not looking like you stepped out of the pages of Vogue is the same as wearing PJ's in public?

I'm pretty sure that the staff at the welfare office have a dresscode, at least to the point where they cannot wear pajamas to work. If they are allowed to wear them to work and want to ban those receiving services from wearing them to collect services, then it is the "pot calling the kettle black" but otherwise, no.

 

[angeljenny]

And if that's who you are, there's not a bit wrong with it. Insisting that every woman should be loud and brash and brassy is just as obnoxious as insisting that every woman should be quiet and well-mannered.

I used to try to hide that side of me but it took a lot of effort. Pretending to be loud and confident was pretty tiring! Much easier to accept that I am just a bit "proper" by nature.

 

[LizzieMaine]

I think it's an unfortunate misconception that being a quiet, well-behaved woman is the same thing as being a pushover. You don't have to drink and carry on and raise hell to be independent and confident -- after all, Eleanor Roosevelt managed to become the most influential woman of her generation without running around in the street in her underwear. Dorothy Kilgallen was a hard-nosed crime reporter and columnist, but never left her desk without her white gloves. Frances Perkins became Secretary of Labor without ever using the f-word in public or flashing her thighs to the tabloids. Bertha Brainard became one of the highest-placed executives at NBC without sleeping with the elevator boy. They were all smart, successful and independent -- and they were ladies, to boot.

 

[LinaSofia]

The problem is that I might actually be a bit prim!

I do get called "prim and proper" by friends now and then (and my husband), in an endearing way. Mainly because sometimes I stick out and look extremely prim and proper compared to people around me! For example, if I'm at a punk rock gig... lol

 

[AdrianLvsRocky]

I do get called "prim and proper" by friends now and then (and my husband), in an endearing way. Mainly because sometimes I stick out and look extremely prim and proper compared to people around me! For example, if I'm at a punk rock gig... lol

Same here! At punk and metal gigs I do get some odd looks!

I like the fact that I look prim and proper. I think I even fool some people - until I open my mouth!

Seriously though, there's nothing wrong with just being yourself and if you want to prim and proper - that's great. If you want to be an extrovert - that's great. If you really want to wear your PJs in public then - that's no so great in my mind - but it's entirely up to you.

Really it all boils down to your attitude. If you're a fantastic, well mannered, good person it should shine through regardless of how you dress. Unfortunately, me very much included, first impressions can be very judgmental.

 

[Jenniferose7]

You know I was just thinking about this the other day. It was spurred on when my boyfriend received his letter to report to court for his naturalization ceremony for US Citizenship. At the bottom of the letter it reminded him to show up in an appropriate manner of dress to show reverence and pride for this important ceremony. It seems to me that that's what's generally lacking today.

 

[Highball Emy]

You know I was just thinking about this the other day. It was spurred on when my boyfriend received his letter to report to court for his naturalization ceremony for US Citizenship. At the bottom of the letter it reminded him to show up in an appropriate manner of dress to show reverence and pride for this important ceremony. It seems to me that that's what's generally lacking today.

I am at the University of Cambridge, which in a lot of ways is still very formal, which I like. Along with my acceptance letter when I got my required A-level results, I got a letter advising that girls would do well to bring a variety of formal dresses and gentlemen should bring white tie, black tie, and at least one lounge suit. I am definitely not rich and nor are most of my friends, but through clever sales-hunting and investment buying, we manage to look presentable. It's a shame the same can't be said for some people. It is only a few, but honestly, I have seen people turn up for formal balls in mini body-con dresses. Black tie means a knee-length dress for women! I really think that if it says black tie on the invitation and you don't make the effort, you should be refused entry.

 

[Lenore]

I committed a dreadful faux pas today. I went to the clinic in my jammies. I felt wretched about it, but I have strep throat and will use that as my excuse. On a normal day, I'd like to think I would have never walked out of the house like I did today.

 

[katiesparkles]

You know I was just thinking about this the other day. It was spurred on when my boyfriend received his letter to report to court for his naturalization ceremony for US Citizenship. At the bottom of the letter it reminded him to show up in an appropriate manner of dress to show reverence and pride for this important ceremony. It seems to me that that's what's generally lacking today.

off-topic, but congrats to your boyfriend!

 

[ThePowderKeg]

I think it's an unfortunate misconception that being a quiet, well-behaved woman is the same thing as being a pushover. You don't have to drink and carry on and raise hell to be independent and confident -- after all, Eleanor Roosevelt managed to become the most influential woman of her generation without running around in the street in her underwear. Dorothy Kilgallen was a hard-nosed crime reporter and columnist, but never left her desk without her white gloves. Frances Perkins became Secretary of Labor without ever using the f-word in public or flashing her thighs to the tabloids. Bertha Brainard became one of the highest-placed executives at NBC without sleeping with the elevator boy. They were all smart, successful and independent -- and they were ladies, to boot.

LizzieMaine, you always have the best examples.

A combination of confidence and poise can get you a lot farther than a propensity for scandal.

 

[angeljenny]

I think it's an unfortunate misconception that being a quiet, well-behaved woman is the same thing as being a pushover. You don't have to drink and carry on and raise hell to be independent and confident -- after all, Eleanor Roosevelt managed to become the most influential woman of her generation without running around in the street in her underwear. Dorothy Kilgallen was a hard-nosed crime reporter and columnist, but never left her desk without her white gloves. Frances Perkins became Secretary of Labor without ever using the f-word in public or flashing her thighs to the tabloids. Bertha Brainard became one of the highest-placed executives at NBC without sleeping with the elevator boy. They were all smart, successful and independent -- and they were ladies, to boot.

Love that! Quiet seems to equal dull nowadays which is a shame. You don't have to shout the loudest to be right.

 

[CaramelSmoothie]

One of my New Year's resolutions is to dress a little better as much as I can

 

[VintageBee]

One of my New Year's resolutions is to dress a little better as much as I can

I second that resolution!
Happy New Year

 

[CaramelSmoothie]

I second that resolution!
Happy New Year

Same to you! As I get older I realize heels and dresses are just me. I find I'm having little use for jeans, not sure what's sparking this change.