The Decline of the Well Put Together Lady

[Flicka]

To be honest, I've walked around with a guy who said 'I only wash my hair when I dye it' and felt proud. Man was the best guitarist I ever met.

 

[renaissancemedici]

LOL love is blind I guess, and that goes for everyone!

 

[Dixie_Amazon]

Louisiana Lawmakers Wants to Ban Pajamas in Public
While I appreciate the sentiment I think the problem is deeper than legislation can address. Appropriate dress seems to be lost concept.

 

[Frenchy56]

Appropriate dress seems to be lost concept.[/QUOTE]

YES!

 

[LizzieMaine]

The problem is The Cult Of The Individual -- a society where every person considers their own personal needs and comfort to be the only legitimate focus of their existence, an existence in which the sole purpose of society is to accommodate those needs. We no longer even *are* a society, really -- we're just millions of individuals existing in our own little plastic bubbles of Self. You can't change that by legislation.

 

[Faith Rudd]

Lizzie, I can't even put into words how much I agree with what you've said. I think everything about western society has gone downhill in the last half of a century and it's such a complex problem with so many systemic reasons that I don't know if it's anything that can ever be reversed. I hate the fact that I don't know my neighbours. I hate the fact that my village has no shops whatsoever, nowhere to nip to buy a pint of milk or a loaf of bread. I hate the fact that if you want anything at all, you have to get into your car or else walk for a few miles which just isn't practical (especially if you're ill, like I am!). I hate the fact that I feel so isolated because of the fact that I don't drive! I hate the fact that the village church, which once would have been the centre of the community, hasn't had an ordinary weekly service for many a year and mostly hosts weddings of people who don't even live here (I got married there, I feel justified in it because my bedroom window looks out on it, hahah). Communities never get together in this day and age, we never discuss the things that make us similar and we just assume that all we have between us are our differences.

 

[LizzieMaine]

There's an essay by Pulitzer Prize winning journalist Chris Hedges called "American Psychosis" that sums up a lot of these same points -- it's a bit too political to post in its totality on the Lounge, but those who want to find it can do so easily enough with a Google. But in his conclusion, Hedges makes a very important point that fits in very well with our current discussion:

The goal will no longer be the possibility of reforming the system but of protecting truth, civility and culture from mass contamination. It will require the kind of schizophrenic lifestyle that characterizes all totalitarian societies. Our private and public demeanors will often have to stand in stark contrast. Acts of defiance will often be subtle and nuanced. They will be carried out not for short term gain but the assertion of our integrity. Rebellion will have an ultimate if not easily definable purpose. The more we retreat from the culture at large the more room we will have to carve out lives of meaning, the more we will be able to wall off the flood of illusions disseminated by mass culture and the more we will retain sanity in an insane world

That's my own ethos, for what it's worth. We can't change what passes for society in the modern era. But alongside other like-minded people we can build our own society within it. It's up to us.

 

[V.C. Brunswick]

The problem is The Cult Of The Individual -- a society where every person considers their own personal needs and comfort to be the only legitimate focus of their existence, an existence in which the sole purpose of society is to accommodate those needs. We no longer even *are* a society, really -- we're just millions of individuals existing in our own little plastic bubbles of Self. You can't change that by legislation.

In short, liberty is being replaced by libertinage which only gives the illusion of liberty.

 

[Frenchy56]

Lizzie, I can't even put into words how much I agree with what you've said. I think everything about western society has gone downhill in the last half of a century and it's such a complex problem with so many systemic reasons that I don't know if it's anything that can ever be reversed. I hate the fact that I don't know my neighbours. I hate the fact that my village has no shops whatsoever, nowhere to nip to buy a pint of milk or a loaf of bread. I hate the fact that if you want anything at all, you have to get into your car or else walk for a few miles which just isn't practical (especially if you're ill, like I am!). I hate the fact that I feel so isolated because of the fact that I don't drive! I hate the fact that the village church, which once would have been the centre of the community, hasn't had an ordinary weekly service for many a year and mostly hosts weddings of people who don't even live here (I got married there, I feel justified in it because my bedroom window looks out on it, hahah). Communities never get together in this day and age, we never discuss the things that make us similar and we just assume that all we have between us are our differences.

I like what you say.

 

[AdrianLvsRocky]

Also, I cuss like a sailor. I like dressing vintage inspired but I have no aspirations to being a lady. '

Snap!!

I, of course, never swear in inappropriate places etc. but do enjoy a good cuss!

I like to think that my dress, hair and manners are vintage inspired but rarely act like a lady! I'm more likely to be found playing darts with my husband while drinking a pint of ale. Albeit in a pretty dress!

 

[LizzieMaine]

I think I could probably out-swear anyone here, without ever using the same word twice. But I don't do it in the middle of the street. There's a time and a place for everything, and I think the definition of a lady isn't some prissy tea-sipping prude, but rather someone who knows when something is appropriate and when it isn't, and pays attention to the distinction.

 

[Tatum]

I think the definition of a lady isn't some prissy tea-sipping prude, but rather someone who knows when something is appropriate and when it isn't, and pays attention to the distinction.

Lizzie, I think you totally summed it up with that statement. It reminds me of working with my hubby, as we get to travel a lot to some really nice places. As in, you'd never catch me swearing or in jeans at the Waldorf. I can sit around in ragged khakis at home, no makeup and a messy ponytail (as I am right now but I'm going out to play with bees so it's acceptable) and swear all I want, but go out in public and do that? Decidedly not. I want people to respect me, and by carrying myself a certain way in public, I accomplish that. As I've said before on the FL, I DO NOT UNDERSTAND the people that feel it is appropriate to go out in pajamas. Or those hideous velour track suits for that matter. I know some are ridiculously expensive, but come on, you look like you just don't care about your appearance.

Which leads me to this thought, do they (serial pajama wearers) care about their appearance, and if not, why not? And if so, why do they think it's acceptable? Is this something I have missed in fashion trends? I know that we have leaned towards slobbishness since the Grunge/Gen X era but this is pathetic.

 

[AdrianLvsRocky]

Agreed. I know right from wrong and appropriate from inapproproate and it irks me when others don't.

My husband and I popped out for some fish and chips not long ago and there was a girl waiting in the queue with pyjamas, dressing gown and slippers on. I tried not to stare and nudged my husband when he was agog as I consider that rude behaviour. The worst thing about it was that she stared at me with my neat hair and make-up and tidy clothes as though I'd just crawled out from under a stone! Am I the odd one?!

 

[Flicka]

Agreed. I know right from wrong and appropriate from inapproproate and it irks me when others don't.

My husband and I popped out for some fish and chips not long ago and there was a girl waiting in the queue with pyjamas, dressing gown and slippers on.

The upside of living in Sweden: no one in their right mind would even consider going out in pj's and dressing gown in January. Those who do soon freeze to death!

 

[Frenchy56]

there was a girl waiting in the queue with pyjamas, dressing gown and slippers on... The worst thing about it was that she stared at me with my neat hair and make-up and tidy clothes as though I'd just crawled out from under a stone! Am I the odd one?!

oh god... HOW many times has this happened to me?! Glad I'm not the only one! Why is it that the rude/negative responses always come from the people who, from their appearance, should be judging you the least? Hmmm. (a discussion for another thread!)

Getting looked up and down by someone who looks like they just crawled out of bed/the gutter makes me want to laugh and say 'really, love? Really?'. But, I'm far too much of a lady to do that.

 

[Miss Golightly]

I read an article here about girls who wear PJ's out on the street and one of them said something along the lines of "I have lots of pair of pajama's - good ones that I wear out and ones for the house - I mean, you wouldn't catch me wearing ones I sleep in out on the street - that would be horrible!"[huh]

 

[AdrianLvsRocky]

This happened in a store not far from where I work:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/8484116.stm

I love the photo of the woman in her PJs with her best dangly earrings in!

 

[LizzieMaine]

The upside of living in Sweden: no one in their right mind would even consider going out in pj's and dressing gown in January. Those who do soon freeze to death!

This past weekend, temperatures here dipped below zero, and yet we had people lining up at our ticket window in sweatshirts, windbreakers, even shorts and flip-flops -- and complaining because they had to stand outside in the cold. Some things about the modern world are simply unfathomable to me.

 

[Flicka]

But seriously, it must be a regional thing. I've never, ever seen anyone wearing pj's outside of their homes in Sweden.

 

[AdrianLvsRocky]

To be honest, it amuses me more than offends me and gives me something to gossip about!

Also, South Waleians are some of the strangest people on earth! People out in PJs isn't the oddest thing you'll see around here!