The Birds & The Bees, how did you find out?

[sheeplady]

I guess what I was getting at is that by the time it would have been obvious that she was pregnant, you would think the parents would have been actively involved in the situation. Maybe I'm being naive, but I couldn't imagine them not being so.

Of course, I don't know the details of the specific instance you cited.

When this particular example occurred, if you are anywhere near close to my age, it was probably the early to mid-'70s, when we, as a whole, were not as socially conscious as we are now. In 1974, the 'Child Abuse Prevention and Treatment Act (CAPTA) was passed by Congress.' This Act's purpose was to provide 'funds to states for development of Child Protective Services (CPS) and hotlines to prevent serious injuries to children. These laws and the media and advocacy coverage and research brought about a gradual change (my italics) in societal expectations on reporting.'

It was basically the beginning of formalized child protection services. There was no provision (yet) for actual reporting. People, and society, as a whole, move in a glacier-like manner when responding to change.

That being said, yes, one can, from today's perspective, think that teachers back then were horrible for not getting involved, but back then, most things that were family matters were indeed family matters, and the prevalent zeitgeist was to not get involved.

Only as recently as the last few years has there been increased pressure on educators to get involved in matters concerning family, and many people are still reluctant to do so.

This was the 90s, so... yeah, I don't care how glacial, it wasn't ok. We were a rural small school, but we weren't completely backwards. People just didn't want to be bothered.

There is absolutely no reason to ever be hesitant to call CPS if you believe a child may be being abused. Even if you see something and you're like, "is this abuse?" you should say something. They are the experts and can tell you if it's worthy of a report or not.

I'm absolutely sure that everytime I've seen a kid abused in my presence I've called them. My first call was when I was 21 and saw a woman pull a child off his feet and throw him into an aisle end cap in the store. I followed them out to their car when they left the store and called 911 with the make, model, and license plate of the car. Maybe it helped, maybe not, but I've always been proud of myself that I didn't look the other way like many of the adults around me who shook their heads in disgust when they saw it.

 

[scottyrocks]

This was the 90s, so... yeah, I don't care how glacial, it wasn't ok. We were a rural small school, but we weren't completely backwards. People just didn't want to be bothered.

There is absolutely no reason to ever be hesitant to call CPS if you believe a child may be being abused. Even if you see something and you're like, "is this abuse?" you should say something. They are the experts and can tell you if it's worthy of a report or not.

I'm absolutely sure that everytime I've seen a kid abused in my presence I've called them. My first call was when I was 21 and saw a woman pull a child off his feet and throw him into an aisle end cap in the store. I followed them out to their car when they left the store and called 911 with the make, model, and license plate of the car. Maybe it helped, maybe not, but I've always been proud of myself that I didn't look the other way like many of the adults around me who shook their heads in disgust when they saw it.

One, I was looking at the legal end of it, and two, apparently I misjudged your age (I apologize).

There was quite a shift in the way of thought regarding this subject in the twenty years between the '70s and '90s. But the fact is that most people are still hesitant to get involved in things that are not their immediate business. The first instinct is to ignore, and then run if it's dangerous to their own well being.

I guess I've seen too many instances of false reports, and the undue havoc and turmoil that results. That makes the idea of getting involved the next time that much more difficult.

 

[sheeplady]

One, I was looking at the legal end of it, and two, apparently I misjudged your age (I apologize).

There was quite a shift in the way of thought regarding this subject in the twenty years between the '70s and '90s. But the fact is that most people are still hesitant to get involved in things that are not their immediate business. The first instinct is to ignore, and then run if it's dangerous to their own well being.

I guess I've seen too many instances of false reports, and the undue havoc and turmoil that results. That makes the idea of getting involved the next time that much more difficult.

No need to apologize, I consider the age thing a compliment.

I always tell people this: if you think it might be abusive, and you call and tell the truth, it is not a false report.

Everytime I have called CPS (I have called 3 times in about 16 years) I have always been reassured that they are happy to have your call and if are ever in doubt to call them. They know the laws in your state and can advise. I've always given my real name because I'm telling the truth, and it's confidental.

The first time I called it resulted in an investigation, I was 21 and called 911 because I didn't know what to do when I saw this kid being thrown around and I was honestly scared for the child. I worried it might even be a kidnap situation as the "mother" threw him in a car without a car seat or making sure he had time to buckle (he was too young legally without a seat I thought). I didn't really know CPS had a hotline in my state at the time, and this was before internet capable smart phones so I had no idea the non-emergency number, so I called 911.

The second time, I had been at a family event and left to feed my kid. I came back into the room, and the people left at the party told me this woman (not a family member) hit her 3 year old hard across the face for no reason while I was gone. I told them they had to do something, since they acted all horrified and labeled it as abuse. No one would call. So I called the CPS hotline and said, "I didn't see this, but they said this happened. Is there a reason someone who saw it should call you?" And when they told me someone should make a call if they even suspected abuse, I asked for help with what to say to try to convince a witness to call. And CPS gave me tips, and I spoke to all three people who witnessed it, and one called. It wasn't determined report worthy (in the US (or NY, not sure) a parent can discipline a child with a slap across the face as long as it doesn't cause them to fall or leave a mark lasting more than a few minutes).

The third time I called was about the same family. There's a long back story here (needless to say those kids have been through hell) and I'm 99.99% sure that those parents are abusing those kids. I'm not the only one, either. They've been investigated numerous times by CPS for locking their kids in the basement, withholding food, etc. They claimed their kids were sexually abused by someone, but after a winning a court battle willing sent their kids back to the people they said were pedophiles against judges orders.

The family bothers me so much that my husband (who's very much a live and let live type) said that we would no longer do our yearly family vacation that we've done for 10 years if these parents were going to be there for even a day, because based on what he's seen he's convinced they are abusing their kids.

Apparently the family moved across country after their daughter reported them for abuse (or at least my family member suspects this, it's unclear), and their attempts to have this daughter committed failed. Or at least that's what I've been told.

So... yeah. If you pu see something, say something.