The Birds & The Bees, how did you find out?

[GHT]

Things used to be so much simpler in the good old days before genitals & hormones complicated matters.

Little Johnny asks, "Mommy, where do babies come from?"
His mother replies, "The stork brings them."
Little Johnny, puzzled, asks, "Then who ***** the stork?"

 

[LizzieMaine]

Me: Ma, where'd I come from?

Ma: Sears and Roebuck. Shut up and eat your turnips.

 

[3fingers]

People used to tell children all kinds of things about where they came from, several having to do with the garden.
Found under a cabbage leaf or in the pumpkin patch were two that I recall.
Also dug up with the potatoes.

 

[Bugguy]

My dad copped out... he handed me a paperback book of how to explain sex to your son, or something like that, and told me to ask if I had questions. Fortunately, I belonged to the local Boy's Club and the staff - all Chicago school teachers - encouraged some group discussions. As usual, the parents pushed the hard stuff on the school teachers...

 

[ChiTownScion]

And they used to say Methodists were wacky because we don't drink.

That didn't apply to my college roomie. Methodist to his core, but always enjoyed a brew in our undergrad days.


He's now a three- time grandfather, and as he has matured has acquired a taste for the finer single malt whiskies.


But I have to say that he was a solid exemplar of the Wesleyan ideal that Methodists cherish. A strong sense of both individual and social ethics without being moralistic or condescending about it. Good way to live, when all's said.

 

[Peacoat]

When I was very young (before the age of 10) I spent a good deal of time on non-school days hanging out at the company where my dad worked. In one section of one of the buildings that only male employees had access to, those employees had covered a sizable portion of one wall with centerfolds taken from Playboy and other adult magazines. As such, I was introduced to the female form at a young age. And in another section of that building were stacks of those same magazines, which I read occasionally when no one else was around. Being so young I can't say I understood everything I read, but I understood enough to get the general idea. The high school I attended years later made "sexual education" a mandatory class (unless a student's parents objected for whatever reason), so that served to verify or clarify those things I already knew or wasn't sure about.

The closest I ever got to "the talk" at home was one afternoon before a date with a "high school sweetheart" I'd been seeing for several months. I told mom that we were going out that night, and she said, "Just be careful. I'm not ready to be a Grandmother yet." Thinking fast I replied, "Come on, what could we possibly do in a Volkswagen?", but mom gave me "that" look and I clammed up.

And we know from a prior thread there is plenty of room in a Volkswagen.

 

[Zombie_61]

And we know from a prior thread there is plenty of room in a Volkswagen.

It really depends on the people involved. I wouldn't say there was plenty of room, but there was enough.

 

[2jakes]

Mom would tell me I was delivered to
the house in a doctor's bag.
This was the days when a doctor actually made a trip to our home.

I didn't contradict my mother, but I
thought to myself,"how in blazes was I able to breathe?"

This might explain my fear of claustrophobia.

 

[scottyrocks]

what could we possibly do in a Volkswagen?"

Or a Mini Cooper.

My memories of this subject are pretty vague.

What I do know:

- that I was always fascinated by girls/women, as appropriate for my age at any given time. I remember this as far back as 5 years old. This desire has never abated.
- that I had discovered a couple of Playboy magazines on a top bookshelf in the house when I was still in older single digits. Fascinating stuff. And I don't mean the articles.
- that the machinations, and possible results, of sex were mostly a mystery to me until high school.
- that I (we) took not-smart chances in that pre-AIDS era, with pregnancy avoidance

But by my junior year in HS, I basically knew all the proper safety procedures one (actually, two) should take to avoid unwanted (unplanned) little humans running around later on.

In college, I managed to secure a work/study job in the school's AV department (back when we still used 16mm projectors). I made it a point to be the one who showed the films in the Psychology Dept's sexuality classes. And I actually learned things in the process.

 

[scotrace]

I'm very much looking forward to reading Nadia Bolz-Weber's third book, "Shameless: A Sexual Reformation," due out in January. The heavily tattoo'd Lutheran pastor is expected to delve into the ways in which the church has messed people up through sexual control, labeling, guilt and judgmentalism.

I very much like the author's Twitter name: Nadiagoddamnbusiness.

 

[GHT]

I'm very much looking forward to reading Nadia Bolz-Weber's third book, "Shameless: A Sexual Reformation," due out in January.

Given a description like that I just had to look her up. Wow, just wow.

Bolz-Weber grew up in Colorado Springs with a fundamentalist Christian family.
In 1986, at age 17, Bolz-Weber started getting tattoos, and the ones on her arms mark the liturgical year and the story of the Gospel. Bolz-Weber briefly attended Pepperdine University before dropping out and moving to Denver. She says that she became an alcoholic and drug abuser and often felt like one of "society's outsiders".
By 1996, after 10 years, Bolz-Weber became sober and, as of 2016, has remained so for twenty years. Prior to her ordination, she was a stand-up comedian and worked in the restaurant industry.
Bolz-Weber felt that she heard the call to service in 2004 when she was asked to eulogize a friend who had died by suicide. In 2008, Bolz-Weber was ordained as a pastor. She started her own church, the House for All Sinners and Saints, which is often shortened to just House. One third of her church is part of the LGBT community, and she also has a "Minister of Fabulousness", Stuart, who is a drag queen. Her church is also very welcoming to people with drug addiction, depression, and even those who are not believers of her faith. Bolz-Weber spends nearly twenty hours each week writing her weekly ten-minute sermon.
Bolz-Weber speaks at religious conferences and is a guest speaker at other churches.


The name of her church is just brilliant. The House for all Sinners & Saints.
In the New Testament the adulterous woman (adulterers are always women) was to be stoned to death. But Jesus said, "He who is without sin, let him cast the first stone." No one dared throw a stone, proving that we are all sinners.
Thanks scotrace, I too shall look forward to reading Nadia's book. Have to agree that her Twitter name is rather witty. Here on British TV we have a mathematician come TV broadcaster name of Hannah Fry whose Twitter name is fryRsquared. Some people are just too witty.

 

[scotrace]

I heard her speak in person last year, and she was wonderful. The great thing is that beyond all the nifty backstory, she always has a remarkable, intelligent, relentlessly inclusive and well-grounded message. Her other two bestsellers are marvelous, and I do. not. read. churchy. books.

 

[Lean'n'mean]

Hannah Fry whose Twitter name is fryRsquared. Some people are just too witty.

While others are just too Twitty Inc.

 

[Bushman]

I grew up in an Italian-American family, and social bathing with familial peers of similar age was just something we did, regardless of the gender. I bathed with my cousins, male and female, until about the age of 7 or 8, when the cousins become too numerous while the bathtub remained the same size. I suppose for our parents, it was simply a matter of saving time and water bathing us.

Because of these reasons, I always had an understanding that the space between a man's and woman's legs were physically different. I never really ever thought of it in a sexual way until about puberty, when most kids start thinking of that stuff. I remember I started thinking of girls as "pretty" around 6th grade, and kinda tripped over my own tongue telling the girl I had a crush on just that.

Our sex ed in school was pretty comprehensive, which kinda made the whole parental birds and bees talk obsolete. Rather than birds and bees, my parents gave me a very strict lesson in consent. In grades 4 through 6, I recall the school counselors separating us first the first two years where we learned about puberty and the effects thereof. Grade 6 the boys and the girls came together, and we watched a video that clinically explained the mechanics of intercourse and the results thereof. Fortunately, we didn't see the dreaded birthing video until my high school freshman year health class.

Personally, the best birth control I've ever seen was from a woman on Facebook describing how her one kid pooped on the rug, only for her other child to come around and eat it. She then described how she proceeded to remove the fecal matter from her child's mouth. Yep, definitely doubling up on the birth control measures after reading that one.

My school had a clever way of asserting Catholic doctrine, how I would have loved to be able to challenge the 'celebacy' rule for priests. As in: How come that for eleven hundred years priests, bishops even the pope got married? Wouldn't be something to do with costs, in that a single man is much cheaper to move around than a family is, perchance?
If sex is just for procreation, does that mean an infertile couple and couples past their fertility must become celebate?
These and other questions I would have loved to ask, but unless you were strong enough to rock the boat, best keep quiet, because you know:

I am sometimes remiss that I did not have the wit and snarc at a tenderer age that I have now. These questions and many more would have been on the table. Not to mention the comebacks at the schoolyard bullies.

 

[sheeplady]

I had a decent sex education in 5th, 7th, and 9th grade. While it mostly focused on parts, STDs, birth control, and mechanics, it was pretty good, certainly better than most people my age.

When I was in 8th grade (I think, I'm not sure anymore) a girl in the grade behind us got pregnant. She was 12 when she gave birth (that I remember) and I believe her boyfriend was well over 18. At the time I was horrified because I couldn't imagine having a child at 12 and I felt so sorry for her. Today I am horrified because I don't think the teachers reported it to any authorities, and there is no decent grown man who beds a child. (I can remember teachers talking about what a shame it was that she was several years under the "marrying-with-parents-permission" age, but "what are you going to do with girls these days." Report it, that's what.) The "relationship" was abusive and predatory at the least, and it really has changed my impression of my middle school teachers, many of whom I used to respect.

We had plenty of girls who got pregnant in high school, many with boyfriends quite a bit older. A girl in my class was pregnant at 14 by her 21-year old boyfriend. Another girl got married at 16 (parents permission) with the white horse carriage and all to her much older boyfriend. Several girls were heavily pregnant when collecting their diplomas.

I wanted to go to college, desperately, so I didn't screw around. At the time, these were all examples of what to avoid for myself. Now, looking at it as a parent, I would never encourage a child of mine to get married because of pregnancy and I'm going to raise my kids to recognize that any grown person who's interested in a child should send up a thousand red flags.

 

[scottyrocks]

Today I am horrified because I don't think the teachers reported it to any authorities, and there is no decent grown man who beds a child. (I can remember teachers talking about what a shame it was that she was several years under the "marrying-with-parents-permission" age, but "what are you going to do with girls these days." Report it, that's what.)

I'm sorry, but maybe I'm missing something here. Teachers are to report the pregnancies of students in their class/school? To whom?

Where are/were the parents? Isn't this their responsibility?

 

[sheeplady]

I'm sorry, but maybe I'm missing something here. Teachers are to report the pregnancies of students in their class/school? To whom?

Where are/were the parents? Isn't this their responsibility?

Teachers are mandated reporters. In the state I lived in at the time, an 18+ year old having sex with a child of age 11 would be legally considered a form of rape (specifically Statutory Rape). You need to be 17 to consent in NY, that is a far cry from 11.

Also, given that you noted the lack of parents, that would at least warrant a call to Child Protective Services.

I am not a mandated reporter. If I knew a girl pregnant at age 11 from her adult "boyfriend" I would report the case to CPS. Someone is failing to watch out for that child. It is my responsibility to do so as a member of society.

 

[scottyrocks]

I guess what I was getting at is that by the time it would have been obvious that she was pregnant, you would think the parents would have been actively involved in the situation. Maybe I'm being naive, but I couldn't imagine them not being so.

Of course, I don't know the details of the specific instance you cited.

When this particular example occurred, if you are anywhere near close to my age, it was probably the early to mid-'70s, when we, as a whole, were not as socially conscious as we are now. In 1974, the 'Child Abuse Prevention and Treatment Act (CAPTA) was passed by Congress.' This Act's purpose was to provide 'funds to states for development of Child Protective Services (CPS) and hotlines to prevent serious injuries to children. These laws and the media and advocacy coverage and research brought about a gradual change (my italics) in societal expectations on reporting.'

It was basically the beginning of formalized child protection services. There was no provision (yet) for actual reporting. People, and society, as a whole, move in a glacier-like manner when responding to change.

That being said, yes, one can, from today's perspective, think that teachers back then were horrible for not getting involved, but back then, most things that were family matters were indeed family matters, and the prevalent zeitgeist was to not get involved.

Only as recently as the last few years has there been increased pressure on educators to get involved in matters concerning family, and many people are still reluctant to do so.

 

[LizzieMaine]

Indeed. We are not far removed at all from a time when children were considered not just the responsiblity of their parents, but, for all intents and purposes, their property.

 

[Fading Fast]

My libertarian lean argues for a strong role for the state to protect children as they can't protect themselves against abuse and there is nothing individual rights-y about leaving children to the whims of abusive parents. It's one of those odd times that I'll argue for a strong role for the state, but not contradictory to my overall libertarian views.