The Art of being happy.

[59Lark]

Here I am at 45 years old, visited my fathers grave last week and saw that he was only 48 years old when he passed. He was a farmer died on the farm he was born, lived his whole life farming, struggled with the depression, wasnt able to fight the war, saw farming modernize and saw the boom of the sixties and then suffered with ammonia poisoning and also suffered depression and in that time, you didnt ask for help. He came from an age where one worked for what they wanted and needed, he was a workaholic working dawn to dusk and quite often beyond. I want to provide for my family and find it really hard today, the life i chose. The career hasnt changed with the times and todays society is making it harder for me to make a living. The ancient lifestyle is great if their is demand, just have to figure out how to make more demand for my trade. I am sorry to ramble but seeing his grave made me feel old, and my mortality, and i love my family. Dont worry dont feel like running off with a young woman coming on anytime soon, what would they want with a balding overweight 45 yearold poor one at that. 59Larkfftopic:

 

[cookie]

Greenacres is the place to be...

But have you got a good hat?

 

[Foofoogal]

seeing his grave made me feel old, and my mortality, and i love my family

this past week my mother has been gone 25 years. I think it is very normal to take stock of our lives from time to time. Several things keep me going in life. Counting my many blessings and naming them one by one is one thing. (always someone worse off somewhere) and knowing that this time next year I will not even remember the woes I am having today.
Time changes everything.
It would seem that it is harder because of the business you are in to make a living but the reality is this last year is hitting most everyone harder. I know this is little consolation but from your postings you really have a full plate and many responsibilities. Hang in there is all I want to say.
Anything can happen in life at anytime. A big break may be around the corner. Only God knows the future.
Us babyboomers have seen alot and it is hard to take it all in. So many changes. Choosing to work hard for your family and willingness to do that is a very noble thing on any day. As a fellow human thank you for caring so much for your family and wanting to do your best.
Today many run from their responsibilities. You are to be congratulated. :eusa_clap

 

[Paisley]

Better Living through Philosophy

May I suggest The Consolations of Philosophy by Alain de Botton (not to be confused with The Consolation of Philosophy by Boetheus).

Part of the review from Publishers Weekly:

In clear, witty prose, de Botton (who directs the graduate philosophy program at London University) sets some of [the great philosophers'] ideas to the mundane task of helping readers with their personal problems. Consolation for those feeling unpopular is found in the trial and death of Socrates; for those lacking money, in Epicurus' vision of what is essential for happiness. Senecan stoicism assists us in enduring frustration; Schopenhauer, of all people, mends broken hearts (by showing that "happiness was never part of the plan"); and Nietzsche encourages us to embrace difficulties.​

I've read this book and found it a good antidote to the silly but ubiquitous modern idea that we should expect happiness and success all the time. In a nutshell, we should expect difficulty and realize that it takes less than we might think to make us happy.

 

[Talbot]

I used to think it was all my worries and stress that obscured happiness. I thought that if all these things went away, the end result would be I was happy - by default.

Not So. I have discovered that for me, happiness takes committment and real mental effort. Its not hard to do, but I have to consciously choose it - like deliberately taking a different perspective.

Different people's brains function differently, and I acknowledge it could be a brain chemistry thing. I know some lucky people that have a truly happy go lucky perspective, and nothing ever bothers them (I envy them).

Doesn't mean they don't get angry, just they see an upside in most situations. Not something that comes naturally for some.

Geez, I must sound like a depressing curmudgeon.

I hope things pick up for you.

 

[High Pockets]

Awesome,....you're only 45!
You're in the middle of your life!
Heck you've probably got another 45 years to make up for all the things you would have done differently in the first 45 if you had it to do over again!

The greatness in my life didn't start till I was about that age!

Have fun!

 

[Foofoogal]

The greatness in my life didn't start till I was about that age!

fftopic: this is great. We just moved to another state and a major life change. I found a plaque that says: Grow Old With Me, The Best is Yet to Come.
I have always found personally in life the worse happens right before a major breakthrough. Like the storm before the dawn sort of thing.
Having a goal (vision) and working toward it one day at a time or one task at a time helps. Eating an elephant sort of thing.
I have been thru so many things in life I don't even believe my own story. Amazing the things humans endure. Truly amazing. I am in awe of it all.
Each has unique testimonies for sure.
I agree with Talbot on the choosing. Putting the past behind and not looking in your rearview mirror is hard but truly necessary.

 

[ScionPI2005]

This thread has some very good advice. While it may or may not be truly vintage related, the few who have shared their life experiences and their latest concerns and struggles and successes have been a pleasure to read.

Those are all good things to keep in mind. I graduated from college last December and I am struggling to find my niche in a job within my field. At the same time, I am already considering going on with school for my master's. All this is somewhat uncomfortable for me, as I am one of those individuals who likes to be in control, and have a clear view of where things are going. Still, I remind myself everyday that this is a valuable learning experience, and that thought alone gets me through everything.

I'm reminded of a quote a dear friend of mine used to tell me: "If you're going through hell, keep going." Winston Churchill.

 

[scotrace]

One can make choices about their state of mind, and choose to be happy, or not - up to a point. But I have also come to believe that one's environment, and the air surrounding a person, has a profound impact on the ability to make that choice. If one can see nothing but fog, and the air is toxic with negativity or hopelessness, it is hard to choose to be happy.
Surrounded by the right people, with a positive attitude, and hope for the future, the choice to be happy, and the strength to see adversity as a normal part of life along with triumph, becomes a bit easier.
The older I get, the more firmly I believe that the choices we make hour by hour, however small, have an enormous impact on our lives and how much we can accomplish, how happy we can be.
Mother Teresa can find joy in the darkness. For most of us? Not so much. Choosing to be happy is more about resolving to make the choices that are more likely to bring us happiness.

Blah blah. More coffee....

 

[Foofoogal]

But I have also come to believe that one's environment, and the air surrounding a person, has a profound impact on the ability to make that choice. If one can see nothing but fog, and the air is toxic with negativity or hopelessness, it is hard to choose to be happy.

but isn't it then a choice to get away from the negativity.
Almost a mute point but best advice I have ever received was before you take advice you should ? the life of the person giving the advice. Since the internet does not afford one to really do that? [huh] Do they do as they say or say as they do?
Heredity plays a big role as well. Being brave and taking calculated reasonable chances can change your life forever.
This thread makes me think of this song for some reason.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RTiyLuZOs1A
Though it is about relationship it is the same idea. Think of our forefathers. They had to make bold moves. Think of the California gold diggers.
My grandfather moved his whole family in 1927 to West Texas dirt.
Personally me and honey had to be weaned out of the nest of Houston recently. Sometimes we have to do that. Slow but steady make a new move.
We may go down in flames tomorrow but think of the ones before who went down fighting. Maybe I am doing some introspection myself from this thread. lol
Like I said gratefulness goes a long way. I ain't starved yet.
Twice in our married lives we made major moves and basically dumped our life on the ground and started over. There were always negative people telling us how it would not work. They were wrong. I find there are alot of people that have been in one place so long they are like those horses with blinders on. All they can imagine is the place they are at or in.
You have to be willing to accept if it doesn't work but at least you tried. Tomorrow is another day.

The older I get, the more firmly I believe that the choices we make hour by hour, however small, have an enormous impact on our lives and how much we can accomplish, how happy we can be.

I heard a preacher say once we should live every hour and every choice we make with the questioning of how it will not only affect our children but several generations down the road. I think this played a huge role in both our major moves.

 

[Paisley]

One can make choices about their state of mind, and choose to be happy, or not - up to a point. But I have also come to believe that one's environment, and the air surrounding a person, has a profound impact on the ability to make that choice. If one can see nothing but fog, and the air is toxic with negativity or hopelessness, it is hard to choose to be happy.
Surrounded by the right people, with a positive attitude, and hope for the future, the choice to be happy, and the strength to see adversity as a normal part of life along with triumph, becomes a bit easier.

Yup. It's hard to fly with the eagles when you're hanging around the turkeys.

 

[HoosierDaddy]

My father died at 78 in 1984. When I visit his grave...many thoughts cross my mind. Memories of many aspects of his life and relationship with me. I miss him.
I noticed in his life a great appreciation for the simpler things....or,perhaps, accepting what life had delt him. Counting his blessings,I would suppose...a sense of patience...understanding. While I was on the fast track...with worries and concerns of getting ahead....actually,competing with the Jones's if truth be told.
Born in 1905..he went through two world wars and the depression. I could go on and on about farming in Kansas...designing aircraft in San Diego when Pearl was bombed,etc..etc. He always advised me..."Nothing is ever as bad as it seems...or the end of the world".
We all get old..if we survive that long. I have quite a few years on you 59lark. Years ago(when my job was in peril..among other things)..I sat down and literally had a change of mind. That reguardless what happens...I am indeed content with those around me whom I do love and appreciate...and that together we can make it through anything. "Nothing is as bad as it may seem"....! I found that I don't need it "all" to be happy. In fact...I do have what I need to make it through "anything".
Someday I will end up like my father..but,in the mean time...I hope to have that peace..or comfort with life that I saw in him. Savoring the little things...valuing what I have right now...no matter what may seem like complications. The return on that is worth it all...and everything else eventually works out. Thanks,Dad...
HD

 

[59Lark]

achieving it, your goals.

Dear Loungers ; i appreciate all the advice, and will take some of it, and i have heard the flying with eagles one. The little world that i live in, sometimes overwhelms me. The narrow field of vision, true this has been a really hard year for business. The game is meaner and for real this year, but maybe forty is a hard time for men, thats why so many run and off and play stupid. I just think that i felt that after 20 years it would be easier and its not. But i do have a good home, two nice kids and a good wife, the grass is always greener over the hill, but its usually over a septic tank. We take so much for granted today, but i have been told by my mother that my folks were still struggling to keep their farm when they were in their forties if it makes me feel better. The year always comes with several struggles including the asberger that daughter has, and we are starting to go to parent support group this week , hoping that will give us some insight to help live with this disibility. I have decided to work hard and do the best that i can do and hope and pray for the best. 59LARK.fftopic: fftopic:

 

[Foofoogal]

Well, it looks like some of the FLers are rooting for you if that helps any.
Glad to see you have found a support group. Hope it opens a whole new world for your family.

 

[Carlisle Blues]

59Lark

Without going much into detail I identify a great deal with you. My father passed at 47 years old as did his father at 47 years old. Such is my legacy. This does not take away from that fact that he was a loving and caring man or that he was a gentleman and a gentle man.

I could have chosen to "follow" in his footsteps or break the "cycle".

I was a young man when he died, while not the oldest child, I took various responsibilities regarding those my father left behind.

Rather bask in the negative light shone by the circumstances of his death I chose to see this as a primer in how not to live. In fact, if part of a parent's job is to prepare their child for life, then he did his job with me.

I chose to break the cycle. I live in the "now", I do not quit before the "miracle" happens, I am not a slave to people places or things. I surround myself with positive people who love, respect and value me.

I am not compelled follow my father's or grandfather's choices or maladies.

I have many choices in life, but, I only have one life. And it is beyond my wildest dreams.

I hope this helps you.

 

[reetpleat]

I agree that first and foremost, your choice and attitude decide your happiness. But Scotrace is right too. Cut negativity and negative people out of your life, or cut them way back. Also, be mindful of what we let into our consciousness, such as watching network or local news, listening to political talk radio, etc where there is a lot of negativity.

Thirdly, remember that the happiest countries in the world are mexico and Ireland, if I recall right. and it is likely due to their value of community. They ar very social, family and community oriented, which probably makes for a lot of happiness. Don't isolate yourself.

As for yoru trade, while i don't know what it is, remember that you can always take up a new trade, and also that there has never been a time in our history where a skill and knowledge of archaic, obsolete trades has been so valued. If your trade is truly obsolete, then there is someone with a lot of money prepared to pay you to do it to some collectible item or other.

 

[High Pockets]

One can make choices about their state of mind, and choose to be happy, or not - up to a point. But I have also come to believe that one's environment, and the air surrounding a person, has a profound impact on the ability to make that choice. If one can see nothing but fog, and the air is toxic with negativity or hopelessness, it is hard to choose to be happy.
Surrounded by the right people, with a positive attitude, and hope for the future, the choice to be happy, and the strength to see adversity as a normal part of life along with triumph, becomes a bit easier.
The older I get, the more firmly I believe that the choices we make hour by hour, however small, have an enormous impact on our lives and how much we can accomplish, how happy we can be.
Mother Teresa can find joy in the darkness. For most of us? Not so much. Choosing to be happy is more about resolving to make the choices that are more likely to bring us happiness.



Blah blah. More coffee....

No "Blah blah." my friend,....that was brilliant and I couldn't agree more.
You are wise beyond your years.

Rest in Peace Mother Teresa.

 

[Tomasso]

The question of life.

 

[Foofoogal]

As for yoru trade, while i don't know what it is, remember that you can always take up a new trade

I believe he sells sewing machines and was a hatmaker. 59Lark, you need to put a link to your stuff so maybe some FLers can purchase from you or go to your shop. Just a suggestion.
I often look at peoples profile.

 

[Feraud]

Happiness= lots o' $$$$.