Struggling with my 'look'??

[baby_butterfly]

I started collecting vintage not long ago so perhaps its that I dont have enough to make great outfits on a daily basis but I am really struggling with greating a 'look' fo myself. I used to love fashion but following a four-year struggle with differant illnesses (I stopped wearing nice clothes, I lost so much weight it was hard to find anything and I just felt ugly) I eally havnt got back my fashion sense so to speak. I feel lost at putting things together now and no longer have a style. Most days I give up and wear jeans and a jumper

How long did it take you ladies to find your style??

 

[annet]

it took me ages. in fact, i'm now 21 and i really don't feel like i found my 'style' yet, it just feels like i'm going in the right direction! maybe you should take some time with your newfound clothes, display them all in a room and think of ways to wear them. look at what you have and what goes together and think about other items that might work with what you don't have anything for, so you know what to look for (for example: you have a great shirt but no skirt to match it, think about a type of skirt that would go with it and start looking for that)

i make a list of 'things to look for' every few months, items of clothing that i think would look good on me or in my wardrobe. this way i'm not so overwhelmed with the offer!

it really helps to have some basic outfits planned with the clothes you have. once you've decided what items work well together you have something you can hop into in the morning without spending hours in front of the wardrobe! then you can start trying different variations on those outfits that work on you.

i get what you mean with the whole 'feeling ugly' thing, i've had the same, and for me it has worked to really wear the clothes i wanted to wear... i felt prettier because i liked the way my clothes looked.

i wish you all the best with finding your style!

 

[RodeoRose]

Whenever I'm in a style slump, I try to amp up my hair and makeup. Nothing like dramatic cat eye liner, bold red lips and a head of bouncy pincurled tresses to lift your spirits! (Is that really superficial? Oh well...)


As for "finding my style", well, I don't believe I have yet! This time last year I was wearing head-to-toe mid-sixties mod looks every day; this time a year and half ago, I was wearing red lips, Bettie Page bangs, and rockabilly looks. This summer, I was wearing 1920s, Edwardian and 70s-does-Edwardian clothes, and right now I'm obsessed with the 40s! Though I'm always a vintage girl, I am constantly evolving my style. I guess what I'm trying to say is that you don't have to have a set "look". Try out whatever catches your fancy, and don't worry if your wardrobe is a little schizophrenic. Eventually you might find one particular look is for you, or you might end up a style gypsy like me, drifting about from one look to another every morning lol.

I find films and music very helpful in terms of inspiration. Like the films "Days of Heaven" and "Picnic at Hanging Rock", Andrew Wyeth paintings and Neil Young's "Harvest" album made me obsessed with delicate lace Edwardian clothes. It really helps to go straight to the source for your inspiration; that is, don't rely on fashion mags or blogs to hand trends and styles to you. Think about your favorite films and your favorite art (music, photographs, paintings, etc.) and think about the themes that make you love them. How can you translate that into your style? That's what works for me!

 

[Lauren]

If you know what suits you and what doesn't- what colors look good on you and what to stay away from, or how you can make them work on you and if you have an eye for proportion, I think that it's all you really need.
More importantly have fun with your clothes.
I hate seeing folks get stuck in a rut trying to fit in... whether modern, vintage, whatever subculture they're in. If you LOVE it, WEAR it. Don't fall for the fad just because it's a fad. Just do what you love and wear what you love.
Clothing is fun and I think we loose part of the joy of wearing them when we're too worried about if we look "right". Or if it's some kind of contest. What fun is that?
If we're doing a vintage event I think it's fun to be period accurate. But other than that, I just love what I have and wear what I want.
I think many of us have gone through different phases in clothing. I know I have. I had fun with it, and I don't regret any of my choices as to what I wore. But they can all be our style, and we can still enjoy elements from all of them without being ashamed of who we were. That person is still us, even if a different variation
I also grappled a long time with being too thin, and how ugly it made me feel. It was easy to wallow in too-big clothes to think I'd look less thin than I was. But it didn't help. Eventually I just found confidence in myself and embraced myself and found out how to make clothes work for ME not me for them. That was the big turning point in my style life. I don't know if that makes any sense at all lol.

 

[MarieAnne]

Baby butterfly - After I had my daughter I lost a lot of weight too (not in a good way) and then I had really bad acne and was depressed. Like you, I just felt ugly. It sounds to me like you should start with what's underneath. Pamper yourself, and have a spa day. Give yourself a manicure and pedicure. Practice doing your hair, just to do your hair. Try to establish a grooming routine, regardless of what you will wear. Once you start taking better care of yourself you might feel more glamourous and confident and then your mind can lend itself to creativity in style.

 

[Foofoogal]

Many variables come into play with how we perceive ourselves. Finances, age, friends, location etc.
I have always found it fascinating to how different women ( and men) come into their true selves at different times.
You will eventually. Time changes everything.
This time next year you may be completely put together and happy with your style. I would start with surrounding yourself with the colors you truly love.
For me it is Emerald Green and Aquamarine.

 

[LolitaHaze]

I still struggle with my style. It never feels compete or well put together because I don't have that large of a vintage wardrobe. I have been dressing vintage since 2001, but it's only been the last 5 years that I have been doing it on a regular basis. I do the best with what I have and work with what I know -- my hair. My style is slowly coming into place.

 

[Octavia]

I still have this problem, mostly because I’m on a limited budget but it has been slow-coming in general. Personal style never occurred to me ‘til I was probably 18-19 years old. And by then, I had such a lack of feel for style that I might as well have been a 5-year-old trying on her mom’s high heels. I knew what I liked, but I just didn’t know how to put it together in a way that was harmonizing. I really have to agree with Foofoogal - surrounding yourself with colors you love helps. This is partly what helped everything fall into place for me, as I began to pinpoint a sort of palette and tone I loved and it became less mis-mush and more a definitive “look” that I felt great in. Like the ladies above have said, it does fall into place. You’ll pinpoint something and it’ll start coming to you.

 

[Paisley]

A few different tacks you could take:

Take your clothes in for alterations, or do them yourself if you sew. If your clothes are baggy on you, you'll just look thinner than you are.

Find brands or stores whose clothes are cut for your shape. Go to a thrift store and you'll get to try out lots of brands in one place.

We all need to re-assess our personality with regard to our clothes once in a while. Are you dramatic, romantic, sporty, classic, an ingenue?

You could get some good basics like slacks, pencil skirts, and dresses and cardigans or jackets and find your look through accessories.

 

[Paisley]

Also, check out this thread for getting the best colors for you. Post a color photo of yourself, and some of us will help you out.

http://www.thefedoralounge.com/showthread.php?1683-Clothing-color-combinations

 

[Amy Jeanne]

As for "finding my style", well, I don't believe I have yet! This time last year I was wearing head-to-toe mid-sixties mod looks every day; this time a year and half ago, I was wearing red lips, Bettie Page bangs, and rockabilly looks. This summer, I was wearing 1920s, Edwardian and 70s-does-Edwardian clothes, and right now I'm obsessed with the 40s! Though I'm always a vintage girl, I am constantly evolving my style. I guess what I'm trying to say is that you don't have to have a set "look". Try out whatever catches your fancy, and don't worry if your wardrobe is a little schizophrenic. Eventually you might find one particular look is for you, or you might end up a style gypsy like me, drifting about from one look to another every morning lol.

This is me. I'm 35 and STILL don't have a "set style." I refuse to have one! There are so many fun and creative looks out there that if I limited myself I'd be unhappy and uncomfortable. I might be a 1920s flapper with a straight bob one day, the next I'll have pincurls, a perfect center-part, and a calf-length dress, and yet another day I'll have on a halter dress with curled under bangs and a pony tail. It's always different and always fun.

And.....shock, horror.....some days I even just wear jeans and girl-fit t-shirt. Like today. But I keep it "vintage-y" with my cherry headscarf, pink vintage cardigan, my glasses (cat eyes -- always wear them no matter what decade I do or I can't see), and my makeup.

I got into experiementing with vintage looks in 1998 when I was 23. I think I've settled with not settling at all!

 

[TillyMilly]

Baby butterfly- I can sympathise with feeling ugly-I put so much weight on due to PMS. I'm Northwest too by the way.

RodeoRose- it's great to meet another person with such a range of styles. I always feel like I have to comitt fully to one style in particular in order to be 'accepted' and 'right' (it's an insecurity thing). I recently discovered that it's 50's I like like best but never realised it because I always associated it with Rockabilly which is'nt for me. I'm just having trouble combining it with other influences that I'm drawn to like fetish- I love a sleek black mini dress, industrial- big stompy boots and 20's- vampy hair and make-up, decadent feel.

The best thing I ever did was to get a consultation with Colour Me Beautiful who did a complete analysis on me- colours, shape, style, make-up etc. I loved it so much that I'm saving up to take the training- with a view to becoming an image consultant.

 

[Puzzicato]

This is me. I'm 35 and STILL don't have a "set style." I refuse to have one! There are so many fun and creative looks out there that if I limited myself I'd be unhappy and uncomfortable. I might be a 1920s flapper with a straight bob one day, the next I'll have pincurls, a perfect center-part, and a calf-length dress, and yet another day I'll have on a halter dress with curled under bangs and a pony tail. It's always different and always fun.

And.....shock, horror.....some days I even just wear jeans and girl-fit t-shirt. Like today. But I keep it "vintage-y" with my cherry headscarf, pink vintage cardigan, my glasses (cat eyes -- always wear them no matter what decade I do or I can't see), and my makeup.

I got into experiementing with vintage looks in 1998 when I was 23. I think I've settled with not settling at all!

I agree. I am 37, and I know what suits me, but there are lots of different looks within that and I like to play.

 

[baby_butterfly]

Tishkaminx: nice to see someone in the northwest where about are you from?? I am Manchester way

Thank you everyone so much for your replies, it's nice to know that it's not just me that feels this way. I defiantly grew up an ugly duckling and I dont think i ever got any confidence back after being sick. It's something I need to work on but thanks for understanding and all your suggestions have been taken on board.

Oooh and for all those wondering about the whole hair situation.. It's now very dark choclate brown and i love it I have kept it long though I'm not ready to chop yet!

 

[rue]

Oh sweetie, I understand, because I have the opposite issue. I want to go out and buy all these vintage clothes, but because of being depressed over trying to sell a house (took a year and a half) and struggling with my teenage son trying to find himself I gained a lot of weight... about 55 pounds actually, I just couldn't at first and it was a real struggle. I was always super skinny up until I was in my late twenties, so that made it even harder. Eventually, instead of feeling sorry for myself, I finally just snapped out of it and did things to make me feel better... manicures, pedicures, hair and make-up etc. and after a while I felt much much better and ended up losing 30 lbs without really trying. I still have 25 lbs. to go, but I realized that I just needed to start doing something... anything really to get out of that funk and I feel sooooo much better. You need to listen to these girls. They are what I strive to be, albeit a bit older

 

[Red Diabla]

Tishkaminx: nice to see someone in the northwest where about are you from?? I am Manchester way

Thank you everyone so much for your replies, it's nice to know that it's not just me that feels this way. I defiantly grew up an ugly duckling and I dont think i ever got any confidence back after being sick. It's something I need to work on but thanks for understanding and all your suggestions have been taken on board.

Have you tried going with a trusted friend out for shopping? Sometimes having an outside set of eyes helping you out can make a world of difference, too!

RD

 

[TillyMilly]

Baby Butterfly- I work in Liverpool but I live on the Wirral.

 

[baby_butterfly]

Baby Butterfly- I work in Liverpool but I live on the Wirral.

ahhhh I know where that is!