strangest, weirdist or just plain wrong toy from your youth

[MrNewportCustom]

I remember those play cigarettes, you could also purchase a pack of candy cigarettes and pretend you were a grown-up smoking. I think I recall some candy cigars, too, made of chocolate. We liked those even better.

I went to an art store with mom, one sister and one brother on Friday (before our slide show) and saw some bubblegum cigarettes at the checkout counter. I hought they'd been outlawed!

I had some sort of 007 movie camera that when you pulled the camera trigger a gold bullet would come out the lens.

If we ever meet and you aim any of your cameras at me. . . .

One weird toy that comes to mind immediately was an action figure called Pulsar. He was 11" tall like an old GI Joe and wore a black and red jumpsuit that if you opened, you could view his see through upper body and all it's exposed organs and such. If you pressed the button on his back, red blood pumped through his "veins'!

I remember that a friend had Pulsar, but I didn't. (Oddly, I now drive a Pulsar. lol).

My parent's didn't have a lot of money - as opposed to having a lot of kids - so we didn't get a lot of toys. We got the Creepy Crawlies (saw a sister eating them in Friday's slide show), but they wouldn't buy us anything they deemed as dangerous, such as cap guns or a G.I. Joe, so Lucky's "Bag O' Glass" would have been right out! (What would a kid do with a bag of glass, anyway? Was it an educational toy? Would kids practice walking on it for their future career as a carnival performer?)

I wanted Jarts, but of course never got them. That could explain why I occasionally throw knives and axes, now.


Lee

 

[Mid-fogey]

Guns, guns...

...and more guns. Had 'em all. In particular I had a plastic M-14 rifle that shot little bullets powered by a spring in the cartridge case. I still remember trying to chamber a live 30-06 round in it. Luck was with me and it didn't fit.

Phew!

 

[Diamondback]

That little boy would spend an hour hitting HIMSELF in the head, trying to be a Ninja Turtle, and I wasn't hitting, I was sharing.

Nice "exploitation of technicalities" there, Miss V...

Does one of those Revell "Visible Man" model kits count? (Woulda preferred the similar kits of either a V-8 engine or a P-51, but I think Uncle Frank was trying to nudge me toward med-school or something...)

 

[imoldfashioned]

Pulsar reminded me of Stretch Armstrong, another toy I never had but the commercials fascinated me.

I've read that if you stretched Stretch too far gelatinous goop would ooze from his innards. Anybody have any experience with this?

 

[dostacos]

having read through this I remember a kiddie show that gave away toys, one they were hot on was a "scuba tank" it was a snorkel but it looked like a scuba tank with the double hose regulator, it was yellow and had a black base that you could put sand in to help you submerge [did not help] all it really did was to allow you to swim on the surface with your face down in the pool. that one I got.

the toy I wanted and never got was a shoulder holster snub nose 38 toy I don't remember if it was an FBI rig or labeled as "untouchables" but I sure wanted it.

 

[Barry]

On my 8th birthday I had a small party at my house and a few friends and neighborhood kids came over. One of the gifts I received was a "Welcome Back Kotter Desk Set." I remember it had a little stapler, a cup for pencils (I think), a tray for note paper and something else. Affixed to each piece of the set was a plastic head of one of the show's characters. It was very bizarre.

 

[Tango Yankee]

I wonder if there was a Pro Jarts Association that got to shake down department stores for selling the substandard Jarts?

Perhaps not, but there is an annual Jarts Tourament.

Cheers,
Tom

 

[Foofoogal]

Click clacks or clackers. Remember those dangerous things.

My son collected the Garbage Pail kid cards and I still have tons of them. How wrong and what was I thinking? [huh]

My favorite age with raising a boy is when they are about 9 and burping, spitting and stuff is so funny to them. My honey used to be a Boy Scout Leader and I tagged along. What a hoot to go camping with about 12 boys.
Little giggly girls about that age is another thing entirely. lol

 

[Prairie Dog]

Mousetrap

To describe something as "a Rube Goldberg process" or "a Rube Goldberg device" is to say that it is overly complicated. His drawings inspired one of my favorite childhood games, Mousetrap by Milton Bradley.

The object of the game was to build the trap, and to trap the other mice.
Players travel as mice from one end of the board to the other, moving in a turn based manner guided by a six sided die, supplied with the game. Upon landing on a square, they either retrieve a piece of cheese, or assemble a piece of a complex mouse trap contraption. It has gears, a marble which rolls from end to end down a miniature staircase, ramps, rubber bands, a diving man, and ends of course in a mouse trap, specifically a dome-shaped cage which clatters down a toothed pole. Upon reaching the end of the board, all players travel in a circle, ending up underneath the 'net' of the trap, or on a space to 'trip' the trap.

Another very unique toy form my childhood was Spy Detector

This was a tremendously cool game line from Mattel. A two-four player game where the guilty party is sniffed out by following clues from the twenty-four suspects. Each suspect had one clue and by using the lie detector it can be determined whether or not they are telling the truth. The clues are things like: "Had a thick lower lip", "Has wavy hair" and allow one to eliminate various suspects. No batteries were needed for this one, the detector was spring loaded and a bell rang (and points to false) if one of the suspects gave invalid information. It was a very ingenious game for it's time.

 

[Ecuador Jim]

I was such a good little anarchist...

The chemistry set.

That was the first mistake. The second was allowing me to play with it by myself in the basement. Perhaps an early equivalent to giving your kids unsupervised access to the Internet; something unexpected is bound to happen.

The first thing I did was to try a couple of the lame experiments included with the owner's manual. Second, I conned mom into taking me back to the store to get more stuff. I also got more advanced books on chemistry (not one of my mom's favorite subjects), which allowed me to start making things that go boom. No one ever got hurt, but my "army-man" collection was decimated.

 

[Ecuador Jim]

Gotta read that label!

Ha! I had the buzzy buzz thing and had forgotten all about it!

Also had these. Played them a lot.

Be careful of imitations! They may be of irregular size and weight! I wonder if there was a Pro Jarts Association that got to shake down department stores for selling the substandard Jarts?

Sadly, we lost our Jarts when we were caught trying to catch them. I think out parents wanted our IQ's to be re-checked.

 

[Dixon Cannon]

I had at one time the Johnny Lieutenant Colt 1911 pistol. This thing was a beautiful reproduction of the original - and it fired a projectile!

The gun came with spring loaded shells that accepted a plastic bullet. Those cartridges were loaded into the clip in the handle. The weapon cocked and loaded just like the real thing ....and.... pull the trigger and one could take out an eye at ten meters! I terrorized my older sister with that thing for years. I sure with I had that beauty now! (Worth a fortune on eBay!)

I was also given a bullwhip as a gift as a child. (Every child should have one, don't you think!?) I was adept at snapping things off my Mothers tables and shelves and I once took a cigarette out of a neighbor kids mouth! (I could have scarred him for life!!!!!) I wonder if he ever thinks of that wonderful incident today??

Oh yeh, just remembered, I always wanted the plastic model of 'The Visible Woman', but I could never convince my Mother to buy it for me! Wonder why? I coulda' been a OB/GYN today!

-dixon cannon

 

[BegintheBeguine]

Man Alive.

My friend bought a tube of fake blood from the toy store downtown. She would squeeze it out to eat it. I told her just because the label says non-toxic doesn't mean it's edible. This kid also liked pickle juice, olive juice, raw hamburger and to chew on Barbie boots. We are still friends.
I really wanted one of those Hot Potatoes. And a Sixth Finger. And a Kiddle.
A bullwhip!?

 

[Flivver]

Elliot Ness Jr.

Back around 1960, when I was in the 3rd grade, I had a full size plastic machine gun made by Mattel. If you pulled back a lever on the side then pulled the trigger, "real" machine gun sounds were produced...made even more realistic when caps were installed. My parents *hated* this toy, but I loved it since my favorite TV show at the time was the Untouchables.

The funny part of it was that I received the gun at a kids Christmas party given by the company where my dad worked. Some "bright bulb" at the company decided that a toy machine gun was the ideal gift for the 3rd grade boys! Maybe he was still a kid at heart.

 

[Senator Jack]

I had a Jack Klugman doll that was 'anatomically correct'. That was my favorite toy.

 

[Curt Chiarelli]

Here's one of many leading candidates from the Isle of Misfit Toys . . . .

 

[Dinerman]

That's nasty. You put the water in where? and you squeeze his what?

 

[Curt Chiarelli]

That's nasty. You put the water in where? and you squeeze his what?

It's the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" model!

 

[Barry]

I believe I remember this "toy" being mentioned in Consumer Reports. I think it was actually available in Virginia because I'm pretty sure I saw it on the shelf.

Basically, it was a fruit drink that came in a plastic bottle shaped like a gun. The opening was at the end of the gun barrel. After a kid was finished drinking he or she would have a toy gun to play with.

 

[Natty Bumpo]

heh

We used to smoke grapevines. And corn silk in clay pipes. Not much inhalin' though.