Spontaneity

[crwritt]

I'm not sure if this has come up before, but how do you feel about
having spontaneous overnight guests? Do you feel your home is
ready for them on a moment's notice?
I'll explain. Last night, as the bars were closing, my husband and I
ran into an old school friend of mine, she and her family were passing through
town and needed a place to stay.
At the same time that my husband was offering to put them up at our
place, I was telling the friend that I wasn't really ready for company.
Its pretty much true, my housekeeping has been a little slack, and
the bedrooms we would have offered are dusty, cluttered, and more than likely house some spiders. The bathrooms, as well, needed cleaning.
It was well past midnight, and we'd all had a few drinks.
Once I got home I realized it wasn't that bad, and today I feel kind of guilty
not letting them stay.
So I guess my question is this: Is it worse to say no to guests or to have them over when your housekeeping isn't up to par?
How would you feel as a guest in that situation, or as a host?

 

[Roxy]

I tend to welcome my friends and just say upfront "I wasn't expecting guests so it's a little messy." I don't want to miss out on the time I might spend with people I care about and I think everyone has some dust in their home from time to time. I hope my friends would understand.

 

[kamikat]

I agree with Roxy. If they are your friends, they care more about spending time with you than the state of your house. Now, if it was your boss or your in-laws, then, no.

 

[HepKitty]

I don't mind it at all, as long as no one minds a bit of clutter. and if they are showing up pretty much unannounced, they don't have any room to complain

I draw the line at chronic mooches though

 

[Lola Getz]

I'll be the spoilsport--I am uncomfortable with drop-in guests, even if they are not overnight! I like plenty of warning to get everything tidy and not feel so pressured. I wouldn't be able to enjoy their company if I didn't have enough time to prepare. However, I am pretty high strung so maybe that's just me.

 

[Foofoogal]

I say depending on which friends and how far they have come. Family it is expected I believe.

Ah the hippie days when anyone and everyone could flop.

In my personal life as an ex perfectionist I have found friends are so much more important than dust. If they cannot overlook or understand not sure I want them for friends. I use to nearly kill myself cleaning.
It is amazing to me how different people and cultures see this really.

No matter how much a friend is I have also found 2 weeks is the total time till it grows a bit weary.
In the South hosts would actually place a fresh pineapple at end of a guest bed. When the thing was rotten it meant it was time to go as your welcome has worn off. I love this. Why you see so many pineapple symbols in the South.
I always have been curious as to the lady of the house trying to fudge a bit on the original freshness depending on how much she liked her guest. lol

 

[LizzieMaine]

I actually let my rosebush grow all wild and prickly over my front door to keep "just droppin' in" type company away. If I want guests, it's arranged well in advance, and I know when to expect them. It's not so much that it bothers me, but my cat has to give up her room when there's guests, and she gets very peevish about it.

 

[Land-O-LakesGal]

My husband and I used to differ on the drop in guest. I liked it he hated it. Then his high school budy started coming over unannounced all the time even though my husband was telling him to call first constantly. I wouldn't have minded but he started getting disrespectful to me. Or he would come over when were in our skivys so we wouldn't answer the door but he'd just keep ringing it and ringing it till I would through on a robe and go tell him he was being obnoxious. He finally went too far by telling my husband that he should get me under control. He was then banned from our house. My husband has another friend that did similar things and made lewd comments to me when he was over he was also banned.

I don't really care if drop ins don't mind my messy house but they better treat me nicely or they get eightysixed.

 

[Puzzicato]

Last night, as the bars were closing, my husband and I
ran into an old school friend of mine, she and her family were passing through
town and needed a place to stay.

See this is the thing that gets me - she had her family with her at chucking out time and had made no plans on where to stay? That is definitely too "spontaneous" for me.

I'll be the spoilsport--I am uncomfortable with drop-in guests, even if they are not overnight! I like plenty of warning to get everything tidy and not feel so pressured. I wouldn't be able to enjoy their company if I didn't have enough time to prepare. However, I am pretty high strung so maybe that's just me.

I don't really mind someone calling by; I'll generally ask them in for a cup of tea. And if someone has been over for dinner and had too much to drink, I am happy to give them the option of staying over instead of getting a taxi home, because if they are that drunk they aren't going to mind the state of the spare room. But generally speaking I like notice. I like to know that I have enough milk to offer that cup of tea, a biscuit or something to have with it etc. And since the spare room is where I hang all of my delicates to dry, I usually need time to hide my undies before company stays over!

 

[lareine]

I prefer some advance notice, but my husband and I have an open-door policy on our home. Our guest bedroom is kept as a guest bedroom, not a storeroom or laundry room or anything else (much as I would love to take it over as a place to dump all my clutter), and anybody is welcome to stay for up to a week if the room isn't already occupied. More than a week and I tend to get irritable :rage:

Our home will never win any awards for being perfectly clean and tidy, but since I started reading FlyLady a few years ago it's never too far from being fit for guests. A quick ten-minute run through the main areas -- done while my husband entertains whoever it is with a cup of tea in the kitchen -- and I'm happy to let people in.

 

[HepKitty]

My husband and I used to differ on the drop in guest. I liked it he hated it. Then his high school budy started coming over unannounced all the time even though my husband was telling him to call first constantly. I wouldn't have minded but he started getting disrespectful to me. Or he would come over when were in our skivys so we wouldn't answer the door but he'd just keep ringing it and ringing it till I would through on a robe and go tell him he was being obnoxious. He finally went too far by telling my husband that he should get me under control. He was then banned from our house. My husband has another friend that did similar things and made lewd comments to me when he was over he was also banned.

I don't really care if drop ins don't mind my messy house but they better treat me nicely or they get eightysixed.

for real. I'm so glad your husband had the sense to ban them from the house. I know some guys would tell their ladies that they're imagining things :rage:

 

[Land-O-LakesGal]

for real. I'm so glad your husband had the sense to ban them from the house. I know some guys would tell their ladies that they're imagining things :rage:

Hepkitty he is a keeper for sure

 

[Smuterella]

See, I'm messy, so I need notice. Luckily all me friends know this.

 

[KittyT]

It really depends on who it is. I don't get overnight guests much, or any guests for that matter, so I appreciate the company. Our house is usually never too dirty, maybe a bit cluttered. I'm happy to let someone stay over if they need it, and if things are really bad, I may pick up a few things or swipe a sponge in the bathroom.

 

[Fleur De Guerre]

See, I'm messy, so I need notice. Luckily all me friends know this.

This! I hate it when people drop by unannounced because I am embarrassed at my messiness. I don't ever let my house get too *dirty* but instantly and magically recluttering a recently cleaned flat seems to be my superpower! Luckily unexpected guests at mine rarely happens.

 

[Deleted member 12480]

Not that I own a house, but if I did and when I do, I know it will bother me. :/

xxx

 

[Miss sofia]

I get very twitchy at people turning up off the cuff as they always inevitably arrive unannounced when my house is totally rancid, never when it's spotless! I am getting better though and have a backup plan which is to keep one room clean and tidy so i can throw them in it with a stiff drink or a cuppa and run round the house frantically throwing stuff in cupboards.

 

[Jasmine Jolene]

I hate it when people drop by unannounced because I am embarrassed at my messiness. I don't ever let my house get too *dirty* but instantly and magically recluttering a recently cleaned flat seems to be my superpower! Luckily unexpected guests at mine rarely happens.

oh my, we must be long-lost sisters Fleur, I am *exactly* the same!

i try, oh so hard to keep things spic and span and tidy, but sadly, i never am able to keep quite on top of things. i live 200 miles away from family so they invariably come and stay for up to a week - my mother is a perfectionist neat-freak, but she has learned the hard way never to try and tidy my house - she just tells me off about it! lol

 

[Sweet Caroline]

In the South hosts would actually place a fresh pineapple at end of a guest bed. When the thing was rotten it meant it was time to go as your welcome has worn off. I love this. Why you see so many pineapple symbols in the South.
I always have been curious as to the lady of the house trying to fudge a bit on the original freshness depending on how much she liked her guest. lol

haha I love that Southern hospitality!

Well our house looks perfectly fine when we clean it but truthfully most of the time it looks like a bomb just when off :eusa_doh: We don't really get drop in visitors but if we did... well their might be a problem.

 

[de-stressed]

For my husband and I, it would depend on the people staying over! lol
If it was our old school buddies, no problem. In-laws... yeah, that's a 'no'.
I am a bit freakish with cleanliness in the house as well, especially if someone is coming over, doesn't matter who it is. I'm trying to be better about it though. Life's too short and all that.