Some children tried to steal my hat yesterday

[ninman]

Don't try to find excuses for their behaviour......they were louts bullying someone they saw weaker than themselves...end of story.

But I mean do you think the better response might have been to hit them? I know how to injure them so that they won't be able to fight back. I just wonder if I could have handled it better, because it makes me so angry that they would do that to me.

 

[tommyK]

Today, going into my pocket as if going for money, and then pulling out a camera and taking their picture and saying you're headed to the police station might change their collective mind.

This would get you murdered in my town and then they'd take your phone and wallet too!

I say this without a hint of humor. If you did manage to make it to the police the kids would tell the police you solicited sex from them, you'd go to jail and they'd still have your hat.

 

[ninman]

This would get you murdered in my town and then they'd take your phone and wallet too!

The problem I have is that it wouldn't have done me any good. They could have been from anywhere within about a 10 mile radius. The police would have no way of finding them. If they'd cycled off with my hat, it would have been gone, forever.

 

[KY Crusader]

Ninman:

The best way to deal with a situation as you have described is to not get into it in the first place. No matter where you are--canal, park, mall, street, parking lot, etc.--and whatever time of day, you should always be at least a little attentive of what is going on around you. You ever heard of Jeff Cooper's four levels of awareness--white, yellow, orange, red? WHITE means you are going about your business mostly oblivious to your surroundings: you're thinking about what you're doing, or mulling over some other issue in your head, but you're not paying much attention to who is around you, what they look like, or what they're doing. YELLOW means that you are engaged in your activity, but you are aware of who is around you, and you are consciously--but not obsessively--observing the environment for signs of welcome or potential problems. ORANGE means that a problem has been detected. You apprehend something specific that signals a warning: e.g. you hear yelling or other loud noises; you see graffiti, trash, etc. scattered about; you see a group of juveniles headed towards you on bikes. RED means that you are actually engaged in a physical confrontation. WHITE is a level of awareness that one should never be in outside of the home (maybe not even in your home); one should always be in YELLOW when out and about: enjoying your activity, but always giving some space in your mind to what's going on around you. If one goes into level ORANGE, it's always best to get the hell out of where you are, or put yourself in the least vulnerable position possible, so you can avoid going into RED.

Of course, sometimes things escalate so quickly that you cannot avoid a confrontation. I'm not sure if any of this would have helped in your particular circumstance; but it certainly is worth considering for the future.

 

[KY Crusader]

This would get you murdered in my town and then they'd take your phone and wallet too!

I say this without a hint of humor. If you did manage to make it to the police the kids would tell the police you solicited sex from them, you'd go to jail and they'd still have your hat.

Good deal of truth here!

 

[ninman]

Ninman:

The best way to deal with a situation as you have described is to not get into it in the first place. No matter where you are--canal, park, mall, street, parking lot, etc.--and whatever time of day, you should always be at least a little attentive of what is going on around you. You ever heard of Jeff Cooper's four levels of awareness--white, yellow, orange, red? WHITE means you are going about your business mostly oblivious to your surroundings: you're thinking about what you're doing, or mulling over some other issue in your head, but you're not paying much attention to who is around you, what they look like, or what they're doing. YELLOW means that you are engaged in your activity, but you are aware of who is around you, and you are consciously--but not obsessively--observing the environment for signs of welcome or potential problems. ORANGE means that a problem has been detected. You apprehend something specific that signals a warning: e.g. you hear yelling or other loud noises; you see graffiti, trash, etc. scattered about; you see a group of juveniles headed towards you on bikes. RED means that you are actually engaged in a physical confrontation. WHITE is a level of awareness that one should never be in outside of the home (maybe not even in your home); one should always be in YELLOW when out and about: enjoying your activity, but always giving some space in your mind to what's going on around you. If one goes into level ORANGE, it's always best to get the hell out of where you are, or put yourself in the least vulnerable position possible, so you can avoid going into RED.

Of course, sometimes things escalate so quickly that you cannot avoid a confrontation. I'm not sure if any of this would have helped in your particular circumstance; but it certainly is worth considering for the future.

To be fair, after I passed them I heard them swearing at me, and I heard them speeding up to me on their bikes. I just wasn't expecting them to take my hat off of my head.

 

[William G.]

I just wonder if I could have handled it better, because it makes me so angry that they would do that to me.

Every situation is different, but it sounds like you handled it the best you could. You stood up for yourself, you didn't escalate the situation, and you got your hat back. It's tough, you always wish you'd done more or done something different in situations like that, but right now it's negative energy that needs to be let go.

When I was 17, I had a gun put to my head and I heard the hammer snap when the guy pulled the trigger. Do I wish I'd taken the gun from him and beat him to death with it? Of course. Did it mess with me for a long time? You bet. But looking back, I got away alive without any harm, and when the police caught the guy, he beat the crap out of two of officers and it took three officers to arrest him because he was so jacked up on drugs that, in their words, "It was like fighting a demon". Neither tasers or pepper spray worked on him. Now, if I'd tried to fight him by myself, odds are I would have ended up in the hospital, maybe dead.

Think about it, if you'd grabbed the kid and beat him half to death, you'd probably be in jail right now. At the very least, the police would be looking for you. Would it be worth that to teach the kid a lesson?

Look, don't fall into the trap of thinking you could have avoided it. Some people are broken. Broken people look for others to hurt. If you dwell on it or change your life because of it, they win and you become their victim. Situational awareness is great, but in the grand scheme of things, it doesn't sound to me like you could've done anything differently. The kid was a punk. He'll get his.

 

[Lean'n'mean]

But I mean do you think the better response might have been to hit them?.

No, violence breeds violence but if you had projected more self confidence & given the impression that you would hit them if they messed with you, they probably wouldn't have 'picked 'on you in the first place.

I know how to injure them so that they won't be able to fight back..

Have you ever hit anyone is real self defence ? Practising a martial art in the safety of a training hall is one thing, street fighting is another.

I just wonder if I could have handled it better,.

You kept your hat & no one was hurt, you handled it the best you could.

because it makes me so angry that they would do that to me.

That's because you're in victim mode...... It happened, you didn't react as you would have liked & now you're feeling a little humiliated........time to move on, dwelling on it & feeling sorry for yourself won't help.........Repeat after me "I am not a victim "

 

[-30-]

"fire a few warning shots"
HudsonHawk.

What is a Warning Shot?
LOL.

Regards,
J T

 

[RJR]

No, violence breeds violence but if you had projected more self confidence & given the impression that you would hit them if they messed with you, they probably wouldn't have 'picked 'on you in the first place.



Have you ever hit anyone is real self defence ? Practising a martial art in the safety of a training hall is one thing, street fighting is another.



You kept your hat & no one was hurt, you handled it the best you could.



That's because you're in victim mode...... It happened, you didn't react as you would have liked & now you're feeling a little humiliated........time to move on, dwelling on it & feeling sorry for yourself won't help.........Repeat after me "I am not a victim "

+1

 

[ninman]

No, violence breeds violence but if you had projected more self confidence & given the impression that you would hit them if they messed with you, they probably wouldn't have 'picked 'on you in the first place.

Have you ever hit anyone is real self defence ? Practising a martial art in the safety of a training hall is one thing, street fighting is another.

You kept your hat & no one was hurt, you handled it the best you could.

That's because you're in victim mode...... It happened, you didn't react as you would have liked & now you're feeling a little humiliated........time to move on, dwelling on it & feeling sorry for yourself won't help.........Repeat after me "I am not a victim "

Yeah, I was always trained to avoid fights as much as possible. The thing is, when I lived in Asia I always like it that people kept to themselves. For some reason, here in the UK, people, especially young people, seem to worry terribly about other people and strangers. I mean, I'm a total stranger, why do they care if I talk to them or not, or what I'm wearing, or anything about me?

 

[tommyK]

Ninman, add me to the chorus that you handled this "no win" situation as well as could be expected.

I can't say I'd handle it any better, in fact, I'm sure I wouldn't.

Bottom line, you got your hat back. Safe and sound

 

[-30-]

"You ever heard of Jeff Cooper's four levels of awareness--white, yellow, orange, red?"
KY Crusader.

Jeff Cooper.
RIP.

Regards,
J T

 

[ninman]

Here's the real question though. I go walking up there quite a lot, for the exercise. What do I do if I see them again?

 

[Lean'n'mean]

Yeah, I was always trained to avoid fights as much as possible.

Yes that is the martial arts philosophy, to avoid confrontation & only use violence as a last resort.

For some reason, here in the UK, people, especially young people, seem to worry terribly about other people and strangers.

No they don't worry about them, they victimise them if they can, sign of the times I'm afraid. Part of the youth today have no respect for anyone or anything & everyone is too scared to anything about it.

I mean, I'm a total stranger, why do they care if I talk to them or not, or what I'm wearing, or anything about me?

There you go again, finding excuses. They picked on you because they knew they could get away with it.

 

[tommyK]

Have you ever hit anyone is real self defence ? Practising a martial art in the safety of a training hall is one thing, street fighting is another.

I would echo this. Some schools put emphasis on sparring and are very good, some are just making money. Martial arts training proved useless to me a a skinny smarta$$ teenager who got picked on by bullies. Boxing and bench pressing 400+ lbs proved more useful

 

[AndyR]

Here's the real question though. I go walking up there quite a lot, for the exercise. What do I do if I see them again?

This is not advice, but chances are, if you grabbed your hat off your head, gave it a big protective hug, smiled and said, "Hey guys", they'd probably just have a laugh out of it. Don't get me wrong though, while doing this, deep down, I'd still feel more like kicking their teeth in.

 

[Lean'n'mean]

What do I do if I see them again?

Run !

 

[ninman]

What is it about me that made them think they could "get away with it"?

 

[hatsRme]

I'm with Blackthorn; say HELLO! Not excusing their behavior in the least. They deserve their own set of lessons, but a smile and a greeting always goes a long way in my experience.