Want to buy or sell something? Check the classifieds
  • The Fedora Lounge is supported in part by commission earning affiliate links sitewide. Please support us by using them. You may learn more here.

So trivial, yet it really ticks you off.

ChiTownScion

Call Me a Cab
Messages
2,247
Location
The Great Pacific Northwest
We had our share of female teachers who were physically rough with kids -- not in a sexual way, but nevertheless violent. My fifth-grade teacher had the habit of locking uncooperative children in a closet if they didn't fall in line -- but this was in a district where kids were getting their heads slammed thru walls or being thrown down stairs by some of the male teachers, so by comparision she came off as rather mild.

I swear that I've seen that somewhere before...

anigif_enhanced-10337-1400947044-11.gif



https://img.buzzfeed.com/buzzfeed-s...24/11/anigif_enhanced-10337-1400947044-11.gif
 
Last edited:

Ticklishchap

One Too Many
Messages
1,742
Location
London
I attended public schools through my high school years, but a large share of my formal post-secondary education was imparted (such as it was) at a Jesuit university. I befriended one priest on faculty there, had nothing but disdain for another (the feeling was mutual), and was mostly indifferent to the remainder.

Prior to my time at that school I generally dismissed accounts of "man haters," figuring they were mostly the projections of misogynistic men. But then I became acquainted with a couple of "women religious."

I give thanks to a deity I don't really believe in that I was educated in an all-male environment and the schoolmasters were good role models.
 

sheeplady

I'll Lock Up
Bartender
Messages
4,479
Location
Shenandoah Valley, Virginia, USA
I went to a public school. The photography teacher was well rumored to proposition girls and touch them in the dark room. Three of us made a pact to never allow one of us to be alone in the darkroom with him.

We'd always be aware where we all were and then would dash in the room if he entered with one of us by ourselves. Once he came into the side darkroom (where we loaded film into canisters) and locked the door with just me in the room. The main dark room had a curtain but the side room was a closet. He was in there in the dark while I was loading film under the auspices of "looking for something." With the light off. While I'm loading film. In the dark. While he wasn't really looking for anything but asking if I needed help and trying to stand behind me with his arms around me, when I told him I was doing just fine with my canister.

One of the girls almost immediately came to the door and asked to come in and load while trying the door knob, he said no. The other one then immediately asked for help but he replied he'd be there "in a minute." And then I heard a loud crash outside.

He swore and left, leaving the room screaming at the class. The girls had completely panicked, and they couldn't think of anything to do except for to tip over the large metal rack where we put dried prints and paintings to dry. He was pissed.

This teacher also propositioned the superintendent's daughter in theatre class according to several witnesses, telling her: "you're such a good actress. We should go down to NYC together, get a hotel room, and go see broadway and I'll take you around to auditions." In front of 15 other people.

The sad thing is everybody knew he was a creep. Numerous times I saw him put hands on girls in classes, get way too close, give them hugs from behind while working, in front of *everybody.* He tried that with every one of us, and I'm sincerely afraid of what he tried and did when not in public. When we told other teachers, they'd say he was a creep. Lots of people told their parents.

Nobody did anything.
 

Ticklishchap

One Too Many
Messages
1,742
Location
London
Sounds a good argument for single-sex schools with girls taught by women and boys taught by men. There is a far happier atmosphere and a better learning environment.
 

HanauMan

Practically Family
Messages
809
Location
Inverness, Scotland
I was lucky enough to be educated in DoDDS and never encountered any problems nor did I ever hear of teachers abusing their students. All the teachers were dedicated, many working in foreign countries for years educating the dependent children stationed there for their family's tours. I myself undertook seven years of education in Europe, from elementary to junior high. Never heard of any teachers being removed from their assignments due to abuse against students. Most of the teachers were young and idealistic, much like the Peace Corps.
 

sheeplady

I'll Lock Up
Bartender
Messages
4,479
Location
Shenandoah Valley, Virginia, USA
There was a high school swim coach who I'd always felt uneasy around; he liked to massage both the girl and boy swimmers a little too much. Girls would say if you flirted with him, he'd improve your ranking for meets. He slept with a 14 year-old girl on the team (years after I left school) and her parents pressed charges. He was at least in his late 30s then. His personal life was also a mess, and he got fairly dragged through the press after that.

Then we lost a really good math teacher due to rumors. Someone started a rumor mill that she was a lesbian (... because apparently the only single women in math are lesbians) and that she hit on a girl she was tutoring. I don't think she could take the rumors, so she found work elsewhere. I got 100 on my state exam that year... the next year with her replacement I got an 82. It very well may have happened, but I never saw her flirt with or touch a student of either gender.

But the art teacher, well, he got his feels in every class and nobody did anything about him. All the stories of bravado in men, and no boy in any of my art classes ever told him to lay off and leave us girls alone. It was always up to us girls to protect ourselves, and we knew if we did anything that was viewed as "extreme" (like punch him) the administration would send hellfire down on us. Most of us wouldn't have the support of our parents either.

You should have seen how many parents lined up to defend the former swim coach. You'd think he was a saint.
 

Edward

Bartender
Messages
25,081
Location
London, UK
This is what gets me about the bathroom issue. The argument is that if we let transgender women use the ladies room, perverts will start dressing up as women to prey on our little girls. One, there is nothing that prevents that from happening now, and two, the perverts want to prey on our children alright, but it's not our daughters they are after.

Indeed. It's always sad when the rights of some are mindlessly trampled in the name of a perceived problem to which doing so is not the answer. Of course, in many cases I do firmly believe the object is less to solve a problem, however misguidedly, and more to further the otherisation of a group against which those who advocate such a course of action harbour prejudice.

In our building, each toilet is a self-contained, unisex 'bathroom' (no bath, mind) with sink and everything, and completely enclosed floor to ceiling (not simply cubicles). Easiest answer of them all - not to mention vastly more efficient. I think this is that way it'll go in the future.

We had a paritculary foul scandal along such lines in our area involving an Episcopal priest, so yes, denomination doesn't seem to matter much. As with most sexual abuse, it's primarily about a power relationship.

Here in New England, the most furor focused on the Catholic church not so much because of the denomination itself but the egregiousness of the ecclesiastical coverup, which, as was thoroughly documented, went all the way to the highest levels of the Vatican. I reject the hellfire doctrine, but if I did believe in it, I know where Bernard Francis Law would be right now.


Precisely. Only the worst of bigots could condemn the RCC, or the Scout Association, or whatever for the fact that they were infiltrated by paedophiles; the problem was the systematic failure in how they dealt with (or ,more to the point, simply tried to cover up) the problem. Where I do have a limited level of sympathy for these organisations, of course, is that often in these cases they could be dealing with hearsay and rumour - and what genuine person wantsto convict another without evidence?

Sounds a good argument for single-sex schools with girls taught by women and boys taught by men. There is a far happier atmosphere and a better learning environment.

Interestingly, the research in the 90s in the UK found that while girls tended to perform better in a single sex environment, boys as a rule do far better in mixed education. That said, recent years seem to see more and more head-teachers with experience of both systems expressing a preference for mixed schooling. Personally, I would rather suspect an awful lot will vary from individual to individual, though for the most part kids will just have to hope that their parents' preferences happen to be what works best for them.
 

Ticklishchap

One Too Many
Messages
1,742
Location
London
Indeed. It's always sad when the rights of some are mindlessly trampled in the name of a perceived problem to which doing so is not the answer. Of course, in many cases I do firmly believe the object is less to solve a problem, however misguidedly, and more to further the otherisation of a group against which those who advocate such a course of action harbour prejudice.

In our building, each toilet is a self-contained, unisex 'bathroom' (no bath, mind) with sink and everything, and completely enclosed floor to ceiling (not simply cubicles). Easiest answer of them all - not to mention vastly more efficient. I think this is that way it'll go in the future.

I'm really not sure about this. I prefer to go into the gents, use either a cubicle or the urinal, wash my hands, comb what's left of my hair and then get on with the rest of my life. It's never been something I've had to think about or worry about before and I would rather keep it that way.
London's useless Mayor wants to build more 'gender neutral' toilets (he should be thinking about building more houses first!) but he is strangely forgetting that a lot of cultures would find them very offensive. I still find the idea vaguely degrading and - I'm sorry to be snobbish here - but I associate it with very low class people.
Maybe there should be gents, ladies and unisex so that people can choose.
 
Last edited:

Ticklishchap

One Too Many
Messages
1,742
Location
London
Interestingly, the research in the 90s in the UK found that while girls tended to perform better in a single sex environment, boys as a rule do far better in mixed education. That said, recent years seem to see more and more head-teachers with experience of both systems expressing a preference for mixed schooling. Personally, I would rather suspect an awful lot will vary from individual to individual, though for the most part kids will just have to hope that their parents' preferences happen to be what works best for them.

There is a case for an age-based system as well: for example, some schools are single-sex until the last two years and then they become mixed. That seems to work quite well and I think I would have found that a very positive experience - preparing me (and other students) for university and the rest of life while recognising that single-sex education and male role models were especially valuable in early teens. One aspect of the all-boys school I attended was that many of my friends had parents who were divorced and so lived with their mothers rather than their fathers. The boys' school and male teachers provided them with a good balance without which things would have been harder for them.
 

Edward

Bartender
Messages
25,081
Location
London, UK
I'm really not sure about this. I prefer to go into the gents, use either a cubicle or the urinal, wash my hands, comb what's left of my hair and then get on with the rest of my life. It's never been something I've had to think about or worry about before and I would rather keep it that way.
London's useless Mayor wants to build more 'gender neutral' toilets (he should be thinking about building more houses first!) but he is strangely forgetting that a lot of cultures would find them very offensive. I still find the idea vaguely degrading.
Maybe there should be gents, ladies and unisex so that people can choose.

Let's stay away from an assessment of our current Mayor - that way lies verboten political discussion.

In terms of gender neutral toilets, I do thin it'll be the norm in most public spaces within a couple of decades. I suppose most people grow up in a home with a toilet that is effectively gender-neutral, maybe that helps. Restaurants and coffeehouses and such tend to have non-gendered bathrooms for reasons of space efficiency, though I can certainly see an argument against them in some mainstream nightclubs. Perhaps we will indeed one day see the emergence of larger spaces having non-gendered bathrooms with some gendered ones for those who have an issue with it.

It occurs to me, interestingly enough, that I've never seen disabled toilets that were gendered. I wonder has the issue ever been debated within that community.
 

GHT

I'll Lock Up
Messages
9,793
Location
New Forest
Restaurants and coffeehouses and such tend to have non-gendered bathrooms for reasons of space efficiency, though I can certainly see an argument against them in some mainstream nightclubs. Perhaps we will indeed one day see the emergence of larger spaces having non-gendered bathrooms with some gendered ones for those who have an issue with it.
Next time you are within the vicinity of The Aldwych, get yourself down to the CellarDoor bar. Fashioned out of a former subterranean gents toilets, it's an amazing place. Clever use of mirrors create a Doctor Who effect of there being more space than there actually is. But the pièce de résistance has to be the unisex toilets. There are just two cubicles and they both have a clear glass door, not so bad for the gent with his back to the door, but if it's a seated performance, it takes a great deal of courage. Fear not, as soon as you close the door and slide the lock, the glass becomes completely opaque, so much so that you cannot even see a vague figure through it. Bloody freaked me out the first time though.
 

Ticklishchap

One Too Many
Messages
1,742
Location
London
Let's stay away from an assessment of our current Mayor - that way lies verboten political discussion.

In terms of gender neutral toilets, I do thin it'll be the norm in most public spaces within a couple of decades. I suppose most people grow up in a home with a toilet that is effectively gender-neutral, maybe that helps. Restaurants and coffeehouses and such tend to have non-gendered bathrooms for reasons of space efficiency, though I can certainly see an argument against them in some mainstream nightclubs. Perhaps we will indeed one day see the emergence of larger spaces having non-gendered bathrooms with some gendered ones for those who have an issue with it.

It occurs to me, interestingly enough, that I've never seen disabled toilets that were gendered. I wonder has the issue ever been debated within that community.

I see what you mean about Disabled toilets: interesting point. I am not quite sure where the pressure is coming from for gender neutral toilets to become 'the norm' in public spaces, i.e. who actually wants that to happen? Is it only a small group of 'trans' activists? I've never met a gay man who likes the idea - or a straight man or woman, come to that. So I'm not really sure where - or from what section of society - the idea actually comes from.
 
Messages
10,939
Location
My mother's basement
...

It occurs to me, interestingly enough, that I've never seen disabled toilets that were gendered. I wonder has the issue ever been debated within that community.

Over here in God's Country there are indeed "handicapped" stalls in men's washrooms and in women's as well. You know, half a dozen or more urinals against the wall and a like number of toilet stalls against another wall, one of which being wider and with grab bars to better accommodate wheelchair users.

One member of this household is a wheelchair user who finds it almost impossibly difficult to transfer on her own from her wheelchair to the porcelain throne. So I assist her. We've found that men are typically less concerned about a woman in the men's room than women are about a man in the women's facility. So, when we're stuck with having to make that choice, we typically use the men's room, although we have used women's rooms on more occasions than I can recall. The wheelchair using lass scouts it out first, though, and mentions to anyone in the room that if they have no objection, a fellow will be joining her shortly.

Starbucks gets lots of our business when we're traveling, mostly because they have single-toilet, generally gender-neutral comfort facilities (usually two of them), which are more than spacious enough to accommodate a person in a power wheelchair and the person rendering him or her assistance. And I've rarely been in one that wasn't kept clean.
 

PeterGunnLives

One of the Regulars
Messages
223
Location
West Coast
One possible issue with shared restrooms...

The way toilet stalls are constructed in the majority of public restrooms I've ever gone into (in the US, anyway), there is a noticeable gap between wall panels and doors. It feels REALLY weird when somebody outside a stall accidentally makes eye contact with somebody inside a stall!
 

LizzieMaine

Bartender
Messages
33,757
Location
Where The Tourists Meet The Sea
It occurs to me, interestingly enough, that I've never seen disabled toilets that were gendered. I wonder has the issue ever been debated within that community.

We have a unisex restroom for the disabled, and there have been absolutely zero concerns expressed by anyone about it, other than to complain that the last user left the seat up.

We've got a staff member for whom English is a second language, and she has a bit of trouble with the term "unisex." She has on occasion directed people to the "bisexual bathroom," which is an interpretation we had not considered.

There are a lot of smaller public facilities in the US that have never had anything but unisex restrooms -- the dentist's office I've been going to for the last forty years is a good example: there's a one-seater restroom for everyone to use. My doctor's office is the same way.
 

Forum statistics

Threads
109,264
Messages
3,077,564
Members
54,221
Latest member
magyara
Top