So trivial, yet it really ticks you off.

[tonyb]

You cannot control what others may say or do to you, but you can control what you can do about it.
It's sad about insensitive people especially in a family situation. I feel sorry for them.
I don't associate with them any longer. I have friends to share things with which is nice.

Yup. It's among the surest routes to an unhappy existence to think you have any control over what others might think of you. As an old, old girlfriend said to me, back when I was still somewhat less than comfortable in my own skin, "you can't control what people think of you, but you have absolute control over what you give them to respond to."

 

[tonyb]

Murdered Out! Yes, you read that right. Apparently, it's when a vehicle is done in an all low luster black. Ironically, it traces it's origins back to the Ducati Motorcycle Company. Their customers, back in the 90s, were complaining that it cost to much to buy an already painted motorcycle, then take the tank and bodywork to be stripped and custom paint applied. So Ducati, a small company, ever mindful of their customer base, introduced a model with a flat black, that was easy to paint over. Of course, the customers liked the flat black so much, they didn't even bother to paint the parts. Ducati obliged in the next year with motorcycles like the Monster Dark. And the rest is really bad history!

I've gotten to where I kinda like that low-luster black finish, although I admit it took a while to get used to it.

I met a guy who took a low-mileage, late-model double-cab Dodge 4x4 pickup that had been rolled over (and totaled), removed the body from the frame and stretched a '57 (I think) Ford truck body to make it a double cab and fitted it to the Dodge. Must've been a ton of work. And he painted it flat black. It was one of the coolest, and most practical, custom vehicles I've ever seen.

 

[2jakes]

When cars were sanded with gasoline between brush-painted coats and then polished with an
emery cloth.

 

[Fading Fast]

You cannot control what others may say or do to you, but you can control what you can do about it.
It's sad about insensitive people especially in a family situation. I feel sorry for them.
I don't associate with them any longer. It may not be as simple in your case.
But I have friends to share with and we support and enjoy many things.

Many years back I made an active decision to disassociate with the negative people in my life - friends and family (yes, family) as I realized they were sucking the life out of me and I just didn't care about them (I don't wish them harm, just wish them out of my life). Having done so - and, yes, there is blowback and, yes, I respect that everyone can't do this for various reason - my life has become much happier. Now my smaller group of friend and family all make me happy and, I think, I do the same for them. Life is much better now.

 

[2jakes]

Many years back I made an active decision to disassociate with the negative people in my life - friends and family (yes, family) as I realized they were sucking the life out of me and I just didn't care about them (I don't wish them harm, just wish them out of my life). Having done so - and, yes, there is blowback and, yes, I respect that everyone can't do this for various reason - my life has become much happier. Now my smaller group of friend and family all make me happy and, I think, I do the same for them. Life is much better.

This is freaking scary dude!

You just expressed my exact sentiments.

Cool!

 

[2jakes]

Co-worker just made a remark during my break:

"Don't you have something better to do than posting on a forum?"

I answered....
" Perhaps I should go around commenting on others and what they do on their break-time?"

 

[sheeplady]

The weird thing is that I am certain it wasn't a diss against me. They have always shown me the utmost respect. I think it was an unconscious dig at what they consider a "lesser culture" than the Americanized ones they are used to.

I think the youngest guest (about my age) recognized what was going on because she made a very big deal out of how delicious everything was and looked sort of embarrassed when the protein discussion went on. She made a big point out of trying to use the correct terms after that.

Which I don't know where that leaves me, to be honest.

 

[Zombie_61]

I recently had some family (from the husband's side) over for an "after easter" dinner. I am trying to share some of my culture with my kids; I am the only family member on my side of the family. If they don't get it from me, they won't get it- I'm an orphan with no extended family. Much of my culture is Eastern European and Polish in particular, so I decided to try a more Polish meal. I served kielbasa (sausage), several types of cabbage, eggs, horseradish, pierogi, and egg bread. I haven't had egg bread since my grandmother died over 20 years ago, and I made it myself with the help of the kids. I also set out 13 dishes with snacks (fruit, veggies, chips, pretzels, dip, etc) before the meal, so they could fill up.

The family I invited over didn't even try to call things by their proper name that I used... even when the (well meaning) kids corrected them. They called the kielbasa sausage, my daughter would ask for kielbasa, they corrected her until she said sausage. There was a comment made from one guest to another that there was no protein for vegetarians, when I made a point of serving cheese pierogi, set out cheese and dairy-based dips before the meal, and served hard boiled eggs. (This family often serves just pasta for a meal.... no dairy or anything else except sauce.) I also gave them the menu when I extended the invitation.

I don't think any of these judgements were concious... and that bothers me more. I can deal with the "stupid slur" comments better than I can deal with hearing my grandmother's food isn't wholesome or worthy of being called by the name we use in this house. Its really trivial but darn am I hurt.

Mmmmm, kielbasa and pierogi! They're among my favorite foods, especially when served together. If I'd been there I would not only have thanked you profusely for serving such a delicious meal, but I'm quite sure I would have ticked off some of "the family" by deliberately referring to the foods you served by their proper names despite their insistence to the contrary.

 

[2jakes]

The weird thing is that I am certain it wasn't a diss against me. They have always shown me the utmost respect. I think it was an unconscious dig at what they consider a "lesser culture" than the Americanized ones they are used to.

I think the youngest guest (about my age) recognized what was going on because she made a very big deal out of how delicious everything was and looked sort of embarrassed when the protein discussion went on. She made a big point out of trying to use the correct terms after that.

Which I don't know where that leaves me, to be honest.

That kind of respect I can do without.
Whether unconscious or not, I wouldn't give these "folks" a second thought.

For everyone like them....we have folks like Zombie_61.

They're the ones that count and make it nice at the table!

 

[tonyb]

Many years back I made an active decision to disassociate with the negative people in my life - friends and family (yes, family) as I realized they were sucking the life out of me and I just didn't care about them (I don't wish them harm, just wish them out of my life). Having done so - and, yes, there is blowback and, yes, I respect that everyone can't do this for various reason - my life has become much happier. Now my smaller group of friend and family all make me happy and, I think, I do the same for them. Life is much better now.

I don't dissociate so much as I disregard. Some of my favorite people harbor decidedly unkind sentiments about other people. They got their reasons, with which I don't necessarily concur.

I have friends who know each other well enough to know they don't like each other. And, knowing them as I do, I understand their sentiments. But, I ain't gonna take on their animosites. I've given people reason to dislike me, too. I trust that the more adult among those people aren't actively attempting to turn others against me. And I trust that those others would recognize any such attempts for what they are.

 

[2jakes]

I don't dissociate so much as I disregard. Some of my favorite people harbor decidedly unkind sentiments about other people. They got their reasons, with which I don't necessarily concur.

Reminds me of the time I was stationed in Guam with my "pals".
On one end of the barracks was Hank moaning over a "Cheatin' Heart" while at the other end of the barracks
James was shouting, "Say it Loud!" on the 45 rpm.

In the mean-time, I was in the middle of the barracks trying to get some shut-eye with a pillow
over my head.

 

[Zombie_61]

That kind of respect I can do without.
Whether unconscious or not, I wouldn't give these "folks" a second thought.

For everyone like them....we have folks like Zombie_61.

They're the ones that count and make it nice at the table!

Yeah, but I'm always grateful when someone is kind enough to feed me.

 

[2jakes]

One time when I had just arrived in Calif. looking for a job,
one of my sisters told me at the table:
"Look jake, you can stay with us until you find a place.
We're not going to charge you for food or boarding.
But make yourself useful around the house, don't wait for me to tell you!"

I smiled trying hard to swallow what I had in my mouth and politely said "thank-you".

I couldn't wait to get out of there!

 

[Inkstainedwretch]

I've gotten to where I kinda like that low-luster black finish, although I admit it took a while to get used to it.

I met a guy who took a low-mileage, late-model double-cab Dodge 4x4 pickup that had been rolled over (and totaled), removed the body from the frame and stretched a '57 (I think) Ford truck body to make it a double cab and fitted it to the Dodge. Must've been a ton of work. And he painted it flat black. It was one of the coolest, and most practical, custom vehicles I've ever seen.

When you said, "....removed the body from the frame...." I pictured him removing the remains of the former driver from the wreck.

 

[tonyb]

When you said, "....removed the body from the frame...." I pictured him removing the remains of the former driver from the wreck.

Not the most unlikely of thoughts, given the extent of damage to the truck cab.

 

[tonyb]

The past two times I bought whole-bean coffee at the supermarket I found that some previous patrons had left a significant amount of beans in the hopper on the grinder. Seriously, maybe a third of a pound in there, which I remove, either by fishing them out by hand and/or running them through the burrs. In either case, it's coffee the store can't sell. And that loss is eventually reflected in the price the rest of us pay.

 

[sheeplady]

Mmmmm, kielbasa and pierogi! They're among my favorite foods, especially when served together. If I'd been there I would not only have thanked you profusely for serving such a delicious meal, but I'm quite sure I would have ticked off some of "the family" by deliberately referring to the foods you served by their proper names despite their insistence to the contrary.

Aw, thank you! You'd be welcome! (I also served red cabbage, which in my mind is the trifecta.)

I mentioned the whole situation to my husband tonight. I told him as it happened, not my feelings or thoughts and his response was, "wow, how did you sit through that?" (He's away on business.)

I've received 5 texts about how wonderful the food was from the youngest guest since we ate (her parents were the offenders). I doubt the food was that good, so I have to imagine she was trying to overcompensate.

Good news is she lives an hour away and we've moved 4 hours further from the offenders. And I've decided to stock up on peroigi and kielbasa for the next offenders visit. Wahaha. And if they don't visit, well, more good food for me!

 

[vitanola]

I recently had some family (from the husband's side) over for an "after easter" dinner. I am trying to share some of my culture with my kids; I am the only family member on my side of the family. If they don't get it from me, they won't get it- I'm an orphan with no extended family. Much of my culture is Eastern European and Polish in particular, so I decided to try a more Polish meal. I served kielbasa (sausage), several types of cabbage, eggs, horseradish, pierogi, and egg bread. I haven't had egg bread since my grandmother died over 20 years ago, and I made it myself with the help of the kids. I also set out 13 dishes with snacks (fruit, veggies, chips, pretzels, dip, etc) before the meal, so they could fill up.

The family I invited over didn't even try to call things by their proper name that I used... even when the (well meaning) kids corrected them. They called the kielbasa sausage, my daughter would ask for kielbasa, they corrected her until she said sausage. There was a comment made from one guest to another that there was no protein for vegetarians, when I made a point of serving cheese pierogi, set out cheese and dairy-based dips before the meal, and served hard boiled eggs. (This family often serves just pasta for a meal.... no dairy or anything else except sauce.) I also gave them the menu when I extended the invitation.

I don't think any of these judgements were concious... and that bothers me more. I can deal with the "stupid slur" comments better than I can deal with hearing my grandmother's food isn't wholesome or worthy of being called by the name we use in this house. Its really trivial but darn am I hurt.

Aw, thank you! You'd be welcome! (I also served red cabbage, which in my mind is the trifecta.)

I mentioned the whole situation to my husband tonight. I told him as it happened, not my feelings or thoughts and his response was, "wow, how did you sit through that?" (He's away on business.)

I've received 5 texts about how wonderful the food was from the youngest guest since we ate (her parents were the offenders). I doubt the food was that good, so I have to imagine she was trying to overcompensate.

Good news is she lives an hour away and we've moved 4 hours further from the offenders. And I've decided to stock up on peroigi and kielbasa for the next offenders visit. Wahaha. And if they don't visit, well, more good food for me!

Next time, perhaps a menu of Rolmopsy and pickled beets to begin, Czernina or Grzybowa z Kluski for the soup, Flaczky, maybe some Goloubki on the side, Kompot, and then with coffee some nice Makowiec (or perhaps Mazurek if you insist on being fancy about it.

The Rollmops can be quickly made from prepared Herring in wine sauce, a little finely cut onion and a bit of sour cream, if you haven't the time to use Grandma's special receipt. The Czernina, the Mushroom and Noodle soup, the Tripe stew , the Compote and the cabbage rolls are all better prepared well in advance and re-heated, so that one does not have to slave in the kitchen when the family is visiting.

The flavors are wonderful, every Polish grandmother has the receipts, and you might have the satisfaction of telling your guests just what the delicious soup and entrees were after the coffee and bakery is served.

 

[Touchofevil]

I've gotten to where I kinda like that low-luster black finish, although I admit it took a while to get used to it.

I met a guy who took a low-mileage, late-model double-cab Dodge 4x4 pickup that had been rolled over (and totaled), removed the body from the frame and stretched a '57 (I think) Ford truck body to make it a double cab and fitted it to the Dodge. Must've been a ton of work. And he painted it flat black. It was one of the coolest, and most practical, custom vehicles I've ever seen.

I too felt that way until I saw a vehicle or two which changed my opinion. I sure would like a picture of that truck. It sounds pretty cool.

 

[vitanola]

When cars were sanded with gasoline between brush-painted coats and then polished with an
emery cloth.

That looks like a Fisher body for a 1916 or 1917 Buick coupe. It certainly appears to have that strange top construction Fisher used in those days.

So, what is it?