So trivial, yet it really ticks you off.

[Fading Fast]

Whenever I've had anyone, in whatever my occupation at the time, get unreasonably demanding of me and suggest they have some right to their behavior because they "pay my wages," I've responded that he ain't paying me enough to take his ration of ****.

The customer is always the customer, but that doesn't mean he's always right. Some people are just more trouble than they're worth.

It is a shame that a few bad apples really can ruin a bushel. Most customers are somewhere between kinda okay and fine. And the outliers are that you get a few really nice understanding people and few wild complainers who are completely irrational or outright and aggressively rude, etc.

It is the latter that can completely defined your experience that day or in that job. By the numbers, I found most customers were fine, but the few really bad ones were the reason I left retail a long time ago and swore never to work directly with the public again.

 

[tonyb]

It takes a level of self-awareness and (dare I say) maturity to maintain one's own cool in an exchange with a truly abusive person, a level I must admit I don't always attain.

What's almost always true, though, is that that difficult person's problem isn't really the matter at hand. Perhaps he (or she) has been a miserable SOB (or DOB) his entire life. Or maybe it's just a temporary condition. Whatever. His wife ran off with his former best friend. The boss humiliated him in front of his coworkers. He got knocked around routinely by a miserable SOB of a father during his formative years. Misery loves company.

 

[GHT]

It is a shame that a few bad apples really can ruin a bushel. Most customers are somewhere between kinda okay and fine. And the outliers are that you get a few really nice understanding people and few wild complainers who are completely irrational or outright and aggressively rude, etc.

Those whom you speak of, the aggressively rude, I'm convinced that they are born without the goodness gene. They are the ones who post deliberately wicked retorts on internet forums, or on social media. You see them in shops and restaurants, they have no concept for the word assertive, for them assertive means aggressive, and if they can get what they want by bullying, whether that's a refund, an exchange or the perverse pleasure of humiliating someone, they see it as a result.

My wife came across such types during her many years as a paramedic, no medical training or experience of course, but that didn't stop them giving their verdict. She gave them short shrift, and any who would threaten to report her, she referred them to her name badge and the phone number on the ambulance door.

She knew that she would get back up from her line manager, for she too, (the line manager,) had experienced her fare share of the general public insulting her. I once gave my wife the perfect insulting retort but as far as I know, she never had the nerve to use it. Whereas her line manager, an openly gay woman, who had taken a lot of stick because of her sexuality, had no problem repeating it. That insult, should you wish to file it for future use:

"My mother taught me to look for the good in everyone, she added that it was sometimes hard to find, but to keep looking because there is goodness in us all. But in your case my mother was wrong. In fact I think that the goodness that was intended for you must have run down your mother's leg, at the moment of conception, and left a disgusting stain on the bed sheet."

 

[swanson_eyes]

And then she -- and it is *always* a woman, an overentitled white woman

Ain't that the truth! They're usually middle-aged in my case.

 

[nick123]

At my old store, I once politely told a customer at the cash register that although our company didn't offer a military discount, I appreciated his service and thanked him for it, kind of sympathizing with him in agreement it was a shame our company didn't offer the discount. Let's just say it didn't go over too well. The customer became irate in a way I've never encountered before. The only time I've ever had to tell someone to get out of the store.

 

[swanson_eyes]

You thanked him for his service and he got angry? Man has issues.

 

[nick123]

You thanked him for his service and he got angry? Man has issues.

I actually felt horrible, as it caught me totally off guard. I tried to do a noble thing and it totally backfired on me. Later that day, word around the mall there was a man who threatened to jump off the parking garage. I'm pretty sure it was him.

 

[swanson_eyes]

That is awful. PTSD, I suppose. It's hard for me to see how a person like that might be hurting more than seeing how s/he is hurting me. I have to work to get to a place of compassion rather than offense.

 

[nick123]

That is awful. PTSD, I suppose. It's hard for me to see how a person like that might be hurting more than seeing how s/he is hurting me. I have to work to get to a place of compassion rather than offense.

Exactly. As uncomfortable as the situation was for myself and my employees in the store during the incident, I couldn't help but feel bad for the guy deep down. No offense was really taken. In many retail situations, it's better to just be a punching bag for a few minutes than trying to stick up for yourself and become personal and defensive, which usually only leads to the person becoming more irate. I've seen coworkers go into a downward spiral of back and forth shout matches with customers. Not good, or professional.
In the case of that customer, I felt the safety of my staff in jeopardy, which is why I kicked the guy out.
We once had a teenage shoplifter take a swing at a coworker's head with a skateboard as he was trying to dash out the door. The coworker, a burly guy, picked up the kid and body slammed him! He was fired that day after a long, bitter call with corporate! He was trying to defend himself I suppose, but our company policy didn't tolerate that. : /

 

[swanson_eyes]

Oh, I definitely take offense. The compassion comes later--sometimes much later. At first I am appalled at the behavior, especially the trivial things people get angry about in this part of the country. Sometimes I literally think, "Seriously? You're angry about that?" When I was on the west coast people simply did not have time to be offended by the minute things people here are offended by. In CA, people are just trying to get stuff done before the 60-mile drive home. I think people here live in too-small towns and don't have enough to do.

 

[nick123]

Oh, I definitely take offense. The compassion comes later--sometimes much later. At first I am appalled at the behavior, especially the trivial things people get angry about in this part of the country. Sometimes I literally think, "Seriously? You're angry about that?" When I was on the west coast people simply did not have time to be offended by the minute things people here are offended by. In CA, people are just trying to get stuff done before the 60-mile drive home. I think people here live in too-small towns and don't have enough to do.

The compassion will rarely come in the heat of the moment. But I've always written that stuff off and haven't let it get me down for more than a few minutes. But plenty of customers really need praying for/help! You really get a sense that many people have some real issues they're oblivious to. Sad fact when working with the public.
The very worst thing I've ever seen, was a lady who was later arrested for being part of a large shoplifting ring, who actually taught her young kids to distract the store employees while she nabbed product. Easy to get livid by such action, and that's HORRIBLE human behavior. But people like that really need help. Really. I could go on hating her for eternity, but I've decided to instead hope that somehow, somewhere, she (and her kids) are getting help.

 

[2jakes]

I actually felt horrible, as it caught me totally off guard. I tried to do a noble thing and it totally backfired on me. Later that day, word around the mall there was a man who threatened to jump off the parking garage. I'm pretty sure it was him.

It's a shame you had to deal with this man who has issues . Not sure if they stemmed from the military or not.
I did time in Vietnam & saw many negative things. I was lucky. I only broke down once . I was 19 & had
no clue on how to deal with it . It was a veteran sergeant who helped me & I was able to stay focused afterwards.
Many guys had a difficult time coping with it later on in life. I'm not making excuses for this guy but
if he feels like life is no longer worth living than I don't know what to say. Except pray that he finds peace.
I did a lot of praying back then & I tried to focus on my folks & stay positive so that they wouldn't
read about me in the obituary columns. We joked a lot too, it was either that or weep. At times I did.
I'm older now & can write about it now...

 

[nick123]

It's a shame you had to deal with this man who has issues . Not sure if they stemmed from the military or not.
I did time in Vietnam & saw many negative things. I was lucky. I only broke down once . I was 19 & had
no clue on how to deal with it . It was a veteran sergeant who helped me & I was able to stay focused afterwards.
Many guys had a difficult time coping with it later on in life. I'm not making excuses for this guy but
if he feels like life is no longer worth living than I don't know what to say. Except pray that he finds peace.
I did a lot of that back then & I tried to focus on my folks & stay positive so that they wouldn't
read about me in the obituary columns. We joked a lot...it was either that or weep. At times I did.
I'm older now & can write about it now...

That's the big lesson I learned (partly through my retail experience). It's that you just don't know what people are going through, and that they're fragile. Easy to get caught up in hate, but I learned to just let it go and move forward. My step dad, who did three tours in Vietnam, always used the phrase "Up is the only way out." It is. Better to hope and pray those who trouble you find peace within themselves than to go on thinking of them in a negative light or dismissing them. Life's a lot calmer that way.

 

[swanson_eyes]

Prayer is the way I deal with it/move up. That and talking to friends about how I feel or sometimes getting feedback on how I could've done better on my end.

 

[2jakes]

That's the big lesson I learned (partly through my retail experience). It's that you just don't know what people are going through, and that they're fragile. Easy to get caught up in hate, but I learned to just let it go and move forward. My step dad, who did three tours in Vietnam, always used the phrase "Up is the only way out." It is. Better to hope and pray those who trouble you find peace within themselves than to go on thinking of them in a negative light or dismissing them. Life's a lot calmer that way.

That's the spirit Nick & Swanson_eyes...
& God Bless your step dad !

 

[nick123]

That's the spirit Nick & Swanson_eyes...
& God Bless your step dad !

Likewise yourself. Much respect to you.

 

[jamespowers]

We once had a teenage shoplifter take a swing at a coworker's head with a skateboard as he was trying to dash out the door. The coworker, a burly guy, picked up the kid and body slammed him! He was fired that day after a long, bitter call with corporate! He was trying to defend himself I suppose, but our company policy didn't tolerate that. : /

He would have gotten a medal and a raise from me.

 

[2jakes]

Ever since I posted a warning sign...

I've had no problems with unsolicited visitors !


I was told by police officer to use a shotgun instead of a pistol.
Officer added..."So that you won't miss".
And also added , " make sure it's inside your property or call us &
we'll drag him in !".

(They were familiar with me when I worked in the TV news & went to their police conferences)

 

[jamespowers]

Ever since I posted a warning sign...

I've had no problems with unsolicited visitors !


I was told by police officer to use a shotgun instead of a pistol.
Officer added..."So that you won't miss".
And also added , " make sure it's inside your property or call us &
we'll drag him in !".

(They were familiar with me when I worked in the TV news & went to their police conferences)

That's the spirit! Keeping the neighborhood safe---one sign at a time.

 

[Bob Roberts]

That's the spirit! Keeping the neighborhood safe---one sign at a time.

"BLOCK WATCH" Canine style.