So trivial, yet it really ticks you off.

[V.C. Brunswick]

One of my wonderful Christmas presents is a book, a hard back book, how I love hard back copies. It's by the Scottish comedian, Billy Connolly and it's titled: "Tall Tales & wee stories." There's no story line as it's anecdotal and Billy's take on life is like no other. On death, he writes:
"I went to a funeral once, a burying one, and I thought, 'My God, what a terrible thing to do to people!' It looked so horrendous. Then, right after that, I went to a cremation. That intrigued me, because they put the coffin on a plinth thing, and the Minister was over the other side. I had no idea, I'd never been to one before, you see. I was watching the coffin and I was thinking, 'I wonder what happens to it?' I mean surely to God they don't set fire to it right in front of you? You know, like the flambé steak in a restaurant." Billy goes off into the surreal after that, but the thought of a flambé cremation had me doubled up with laughter.

I've never understood the concept of the grieving family actually witnessing the cremation though it is more common in Asian cultures. In most funerals I've been to the cremation is done either before or after the memorial service.

 

[3fingers]

In most funerals I've been to the cremation is done either before or after the memorial service.

Cremation has not been common here until recent years. The reason is understandable given the escalating cost of a traditional funeral. In my limited experience the cremation had been done already and the urn was placed at the front of the chapel or whatever the venue happened to be.
I have recently attended two services where the deceased was present in a rented casket and was quite unceremoniously whisked away as soon as the service ended, giving the impression that the rental unit had to be returned by noon or something.

 

[tonyb]

^^^^^
”It is our most modestly priced receptacle.”

That’s from one of many amusing scenes in “The Big Lebowski.”

Dude and Walter are at the mortuary to retrieve the cremated remains of Donny, the third member of their bowling team, who had recently died from a major heart attack he suffered in the bowling alley’s parking lot.

Walter forcefully objects (as is his wont) to the charge for the urn in which Donny’s ashes, which he and Dude had planned to scatter, are to be transmitted to them. So our heroes (off camera) go to Ralph’s (a supermarket) to procure a can of coffee, into which (after it is emptied of coffee, presumably) Donny’s ashes are taken from the mortuary and to a windy bluff overlooking the Pacific Ocean.

The following scene, the scattering of the ashes, is a hoot as well.

 

[Zombie_61]

”It is our most modestly priced receptacle.”

"Look, just because we're bereaved, that doesn't make us saps!"

 

[Tiki Tom]

^^^^^
So our heroes (off camera) go to Ralph’s (a supermarket) to procure a can of coffee, into which (after it is emptied of coffee, presumably) Donny’s ashes are taken from the mortuary and to a windy bluff overlooking the Pacific Ocean.

Pretty much how I want to go.

On the subject of good deaths: Someone I know died of a massive heart attack while strolling on a nude beach in Spain. They say he was dead before he hit the sand. RIP.

 

[Trenchfriend]

I hope, this is shown in every school!

 

[Zombie_61]

^ Sadly, even if it was shown most of the students would watch it and think, "Yeah, but that would never happen to me."

 

[Harp]

Chicago Bears finish a .500 8-8 busted flush season; GM and Head Coach exit interview press conference tomorrow.
Team ended about where I expected since last year was something of a fluke, while a marginal QB cannot be expected
to lead toward the Super Bowl.

 

[Lean'n'mean]

Pretty much how I want to go.

On the subject of good deaths: Someone I know died of a massive heart attack while strolling on a nude beach in Spain. They say he was dead before he hit the sand. RIP.

One thing we can be sure of, our death will never be as we imagine it.

 

[GHT]

One thing we can be sure of, our death will never be as we imagine it.

Back when I was a young man, old aunts would come up to me at weddings, poke me in the ribs and cackle, telling me, “You’re next.”
They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

 

[tonyb]

^^^^^
Oldie but a goodie.

 

[Tiki Tom]

One thing we can be sure of, our death will never be as we imagine it.

I used to imagine that I'd die in some burning third-world village, felled by an AK47 slug. It was the romantic in me.

 

[KILO NOVEMBER]

Pretty much how I want to go.

On the subject of good deaths: Someone I know died of a massive heart attack while strolling on a nude beach in Spain. They say he was dead before he hit the sand. RIP.

I can't say that I've ever been on a beach where the people bathed in the buff, but I have seen some photos, and I get the impression that too many of the denizens look like the fat guy in a G-string mowing his lawn that appeared on one of these pages not too long ago.

 

[LizzieMaine]

I've always thought Algonquin Round Table figure Alexander Woollcott had a perfect and appropriate death: he died in the middle of an argument during a live broadcast of a radio show called "The People's Platform." Just before he collapsed he slipped a note to one of his fellow panelists: "I AM SICK." The recipient of the note later said "I knew it was serious. Usually Alec would have written "I AM ILL."

 

[GHT]

Are there any Loungers that actually know the words of Auld Lang Syne? The song, of course, derives from a 1788 Scots poem by Robert Burns; now set to the tune of a traditional folk song. But Burns never intended his work to act as a farewell to the old year.
I haven't a clue of the words, I hear a drunken rendition of the chorus sung over and over again, and that will be out tune, out of key and most probably, out of their sozzled minds. So here it is, but don't ask me to memorise it:

Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
and never brought to mind?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
and auld lang syne?
CHORUS:
For auld lang syne, my jo,
for auld lang syne,
we’lltak‘ a cup o’ kindness yet,
for auld lang syne.

And surely ye’ll be your pint-stoup!
and surely I’ll be mine!
And we’ll tak' a cup o’ kindness yet,
for auld lang syne.
CHORUS
We twa hae run about the braes,
and pou’d the gowans fine;
But we’ve wander’d mony a weary fit,
sin' auld lang syne.
CHORUS
We twa hae paidl’d in the burn,
frae morning sun till dine;
But seas between us braid hae roar’d
sin' auld lang syne.
CHORUS
And there’s a hand, my trusty fiere!
and gie's a hand o’ thine!
And we’ll tak' a right gude-willie waught,
for auld lang syne.
CHORUS

 

[Harp]

I used to imagine that I'd die in some burning third-world village, felled by an AK47 slug. It was the romantic in me.

Lucifer himself carries the AK-47. Thought once that we would get hit at 02:00 and this would be my last nite,
looked at the Sun set seemingly forever. Those romantic non-romance moments kill the mood.

 

[ChiTownScion]

Chicago Bears finish a .500 8-8 busted flush season; GM and Head Coach exit interview press conference tomorrow.
Team ended about where I expected since last year was something of a fluke, while a marginal QB cannot be expected
to lead toward the Super Bowl.

I've washed my hands of the NFL. Entirely.

They change the game rules every year, depending upon what will best affect the team owners' bottom line. That isn't sport: it's spectacle. At least pro wrestling is more or less upfront about the kayfabe factor.

Live in a metro area now that has neither an NFL team nor an MLB team. The latter will be an issue in the spring. My suburb has a minor league team, but it's Class A/ Short Season. Going to be fun watching kids who play simply for the love of the game go at it. They have as much chance of getting the Call to the majors as I do of winning the PowerBall, but that really doesn't matter to them.

My mental health mandated that I declare myself as a Red Sox fan a few years ago. I'm happy when either the Cubs or the White Sox have a great season, and I don't have to buy into all of the ridiculous tribalism. And if the Red Sox have a crappy season I rarely have to be reminded of it: even less so since Fenway is a continent away from me now. And if they do well, there's always the schadenfreude that comes with Yankee fan tears.

 

[Harp]

My mental health mandated that I declare myself as a Red Sox fan a few years ago. I'm happy when either the Cubs or the White Sox have a great season, and I don't have to buy into all of the ridiculous tribalism.

Tribalism, indelible brand that it is, has always been for me an external rather than an innate condition,
like being from Little Flower parish-the rose sobriquet has followed me all over the world whenever I've met
fellow Chicagoans, even non-Catholics, not something to be taken too seriously but a Chicago cachet worn
loosely and not without some admitted pride.

 

[Inkstainedwretch]

Lucifer himself carries the AK-47. Thought once that we would get hit at 02:00 and this would be my last nite,
looked at the Sun set seemingly forever. Those romantic non-romance moments kill the mood.

The AK 47 gets too much attention in Vietnam memoirs. I only saw a few. I saw a lot of SKS carbines. Same ammo but not the glamor.

 

[Harp]

The AK 47 gets too much attention in Vietnam memoirs. I only saw a few. I saw a lot of SKS carbines. Same ammo but not the glamor.

NVA regulars got the K pickings, hard core Mister Charles made do.

Chicago Bears finish a .500 8-8 busted flush season; GM and Head Coach exit interview press conference tomorrow.
Team ended about where I expected since last year was something of a fluke, while a marginal QB cannot be expected
to lead toward the Super Bowl.

Typical after lousy season dodge ball presser. Executions came later, four asst coaches canned, heads rolled
in the sawdust. The chess king head coach armed with his elaborate complicated play schemes needs to grab a veteran
QB licketyspit, or be stuck with the Tarheel who plays checkers not chess.