Retro=Frumpy?

[kamikat]

I've been thinking alot about this issue lately (retro=frumpy) and how to combat the frump. For those of us who wear pencil skirts and spike heels, it isn't an issue. It's also not an issue for those of us who are covered with ink/piercings. A sweet pink dress looks completely different on a tatted up chick with blue hair than it does on an overweight, middle aged mom with brown and gray hair. Is this an issue that you worry about or do you just not care? How does one keep buttoned-up peter pan collared blouses from looking frumpy?

 

[LizzieMaine]

I guess for me it's a question of "who says?" If a bunch of punk/biker/rockabilly/name-your-favorite-rebel-group gals think I'm "frumpy," well, I'm not part of their culture, so what they think really isn't relevant to me at all, any more than my criticizing their style would be at all relevant to them.

"Frumpy" to me means schlepping around with no concern at all for what you look like -- an outfit that's well-composed and flattering to the wearer is not frumpy, no matter how high the collar is buttoned.

 

[kamikat]

I guess for me it's a question of "who says?" If a bunch of punk/biker/rockabilly/name-your-favorite-rebel-group gals think I'm "frumpy," well, I'm not part of their culture, so what they think really isn't relevant to me at all, any more than my criticizing their style would be at all relevant to them.

In my case, it's not "rebel group", but the other moms at my children's school or my husband's co-workers' wives at the company parties.

 

[Lady Day]

So its someone else's perception of you? Why is what they think of your style so important to you? Sure, dressing this way tends to be more *conservative* look, but 'frumpy' is a buzz word aimed at being derogatory.

I had someone speak of this to me a little while ago and I nearly bit their head off. Just because my clothes are tailored, fit my frame, and styled in a past decade, and you, in your "I wear this because singer X made it fashionable" paper thin shirt, with sad low cut jeans knows more about 'style' than I?

Please.

LD

 

[SayCici]

I agree with Lizziemaine - even if the sweet pink dress does look differently on the tattooed girl compared to the housewife or mom, if it doesn't fit or the styling isn't flattering to either of them, they will both look frumpy.

I think no matter how many precautions you could take, people will always perceive your clothing in different ways. For example, the buttoned-to-the-neck peter pan blouse paired with the fullest circle skirt or your best slim/straight skirt will both accentuate your waist and make your legs look great, but if your audience is people who aren't used to seeing dresses or skirts fall below mid-thigh, you'll still be a bizarre sight to them.

When I get stares I don't know when they're for my clothing or my tattoos. I choose not to exert the energy it requires to care. I'm comfortable with myself and confident when I pick out clothing that pleases me, not others, so that's what I'm sticking with!

 

[SayCici]

Also, if someone directed that word at you they're just dead-wrong! Everything you make is stunning and fits you well.

 

[kamikat]

Meh, I'm just feeling frumpy in my current wardrobe, I guess. I guess if I feel like look frumpy, it naturally opens the door for more criticism from others.

 

[SugarKitten]

Kamikat you are not one bit frumpy from what I've seen you post here!

As for the inked, blue-haired, etc... I feel that way a lot. I can make anything look conservative. It's got nothing to do with what I'm wearing, it's just me.

As Stephen Frye put it (far better than I can) "Some of us are just made of tweed". If I wanted to get inked, and all that, it would lose all the appeal it might have on someone else.

You are made of you. If your clothes make you happy and they are what you want to be wearing, ignore the other moms other spouses, because if you were wearing what they were wearing, it would be the same as someone else playing dress up in head to toe vintage.

Like Lady Day's example, Singer X might rock the look, but the woman on the street can be spotted a mile away as disingenuous because they are just wearing someone else's look.

And - You're not frumpy!

 

[GoddessMama]

I feel the same sometimes. I am over 30 an over pudgy and I worry about how I look. Espessially now that I am working the new job and its a white button up shirt and black slacks every day. I find that if I put the effort into my hair and make up every day that even if I am wearing my work uniform I feel less frumpy. I also get compliments on how cute I look, and it takes alot to look cute in an ugly uniform when your 230lbs! I think frumpy is an attitude. If your grouchy and slouch around all day, even pearls and an evening gown will look bad on you. If you go around all day wearing a smile you can make a potato sack look good. Like Marilyn Monroe here...

 

[Caity Lynn]

Can I just say it's such a nice reprise to -not- have to define the word 'frumpy' here. I've used that and literally had to define it to the person I was speaking to....

 

[chicanoir]

fascinating. this must be a geographical thing because in los angeles, the only "frumpy" people are the ones who run around in sweat pants, t-shirts and flip-flops. other than that, everyone has some semblance of style going on...even the corporate...

 

[Mrs Cleaver]

LizzieMaine you always put things so splendidly,bravo:eusa_clap
Kamikat from the pics i've seen of you,you are definitely not frumpy,your gorgeous!
A few years ago i had the opposite problem .I always dressed up even if i wasn't going anywhere special.And i still had the snobby mums at my sons school whispering behind their hands when i picked my son up in the afternoon,i guess it was because i didn't wear the boring mummy uniform they all did.They also didn't like that that i talked to the mum with the tatts & hotted up vintage car,we were both outcasts as far as they were concerned lol
Anyway my point is that in the last few years i did let myself slip into frumpy mode & it really is more of a state of mind.Since i have joined this forum i have been so inspired by all the lovely ladies on here that i have started to make more of an effort,even if it is just fixing my hair better & putting on some makeup & wearing a better fitting sweater & pants instead of daggy jeans & a hoodie .My mum noticed straight away & was very pleased.
It's amazing what a few curls ,a scarf & a bit of make up will do to lift your mood.
As CC said Kamikat,if your clothes fit & flatter you you wont look frumpy,so whack on a bit of lippy lift your shoulders & walk like you know your the gorgeous woman that you are & dont give a toss about the judgemental(jealous) cows that are trying to bring you down .
Sorry for the long post.

 

[chicanoir]

mrs. cleaver, you bring up an interesting point--the opposite of frump being a source of semi-ridicule. back in the day (like the 90s for me) everything WAS about looking frumpy, hello, grunge? and so people really dressed DOWN...i think that has had a small change in the 2000's but i've had to make a very conscious effort to dress UP and not feel like a freak for wearing a dress and lipstick. it's hard for me to get over the self-consciousness...ESPECIALLY in la where most people are about the feigned apathy of hipsterdom (ie i care so much about trying not to care so i carefully wear things that ARE vintage but look like i pulled them out of the rag pile and will pair them with electric blue spandex pants that i bought at american apparel and keep my unkempt greasy ass hair tucked under my over-sized sunglasses that i'm still wearing in the coffee shop). *eyeroll* LAMEAGE.

 

[Mrs Cleaver]

lol That description is hilarious Chica true though.I suppose the snobby mums thought their uniform sameness very chic & that my knee high boots,purple paisly shirt dress & made up face & hair was tasteless & tarty but to me dressing vintage is about reviving a time or times when style ,class & effort in your appearance mattered.A glamour & sophistication that i find mostly lacking in todays world & if someone wants to pin "frumpy","old fashioned" or "wierd " labels on me so be it.

 

[Puzzicato]

It's something that concerns me too - I'm 36, so more June Cleaver than Gidget, and weigh more than I should but I don't want to look dowdy. I actually find dressing with a retro flavour is helpful, because there are much nicer plus size clothes available at the retro/rockabilly/pin up places than there are in the other shops!

 

[Lillemor]

I'm frumpy even by vintage standards but it's because I have to make do with what I have now and make it work with my lifestyle because I can't afford to dress better and I have to think of my active rural life. When I feel self conscious about the frumpy factor I tweak my style more towards something modern retro but definitely still all my own style; No one in one of our major cities would consider my style street cool. That suits me fine! The other thing I do is mix old Bollywood glam with retro/vintage.

 

[Mrs Cleaver]

Puzzicato-i'm nearly 36 & weigh more than i should as well so i do have to be aware of the frumpy factor but like Lillimore does i just try & wear what works for me & that means that it's not always totally period correct ,although like Lillimore finances play a role in that too,i tend to give it a twist so it's vintage but still works for me & that way avoid the dreaded frumpies

 

[CherryWry]

Kamikat, based on your avatar, you've got nothing to worry about.

Have you tried figuring out if there's a common thread to the outfits in which you feel frumpy? A certain color, hemline, neckline, etc. that you can just avoid for a while? Or is it a more pervasive, lingering sense of frumpiness that transcends all wardrobe choices? If it's the latter, I'd try to wear one thing each day that you LOVE...that makes you feel like a knockout. Whether it's a necklace, an awesome purse, really flattering lipstick, great glasses...something that reminds you that you've got your own brand of charm. A little confidence goes a long way...and it sounds like everyone in the lounge is confident you look great.

 

[crwritt]

I've been thinking alot about this issue lately (retro=frumpy) and how to combat the frump. For those of us who wear pencil skirts and spike heels, it isn't an issue. It's also not an issue for those of us who are covered with ink/piercings. A sweet pink dress looks completely different on a tatted up chick with blue hair than it does on an overweight, middle aged mom with brown and gray hair. Is this an issue that you worry about or do you just not care? How does one keep buttoned-up peter pan collared blouses from looking frumpy?

As far as those blouses go, if a certain style doesn't flatter you, just don't wear it. You have every choice of styles in the world, since you sew for yourself, and your tastes run towards vintage, you have even more choice in the matter than people who just shop at the mall. Combat the frump by wearing what looks most flattering on you. Not everyone in those days wore peter pan collars. Why should you?

 

[kamikat]

I think I've figured it out. I read alot of sewing blogs, not all of them are retro. The modern sewing blogs tend to be written by fashionistas. They're into to sewing to knock off designer clothing that they can't afford. Those women tend to wear the best of modern fashion, ie well tailored suits and sheath dresses. These women have style that my grandmother, who wore Chanel suits everyday of her life, would have approved of. I guess I'm feeling like my novelty cotton dresses look homemade, not matter how much time and effort I put into them just because they are novelty print cotton.

(it also doesn't help that I had an eye infection last week and couldn't wear eye make-up until I finished the antibiotics)