Restaurant Hat Issues

[Bob Roberts]

Agree in part. When I was in the Air Force, at the officers clubs, there was a room at the entrance with cubbies to store our hats while in the club, no problem, we had a pretty iron clad honor system, make sure you only took your own hat when leaving. In ten years active duty and seven in reserves never had a problem of loosing a hat. Now to the civilian world, It has been years since I have seen a hat in a restaurant much less a hat check station. If and only if there is room in a booth, or an extra chair will I take my hat off. Not on the table and not definitely not on the floor, I paid too much for most of them to chance having them damaged or soiled. We had a nice western hat stolen from a hat /coat rack in our church foyer a few years ago, so mine goes into church with me and has its on spot in the pews.

Times and customs change. I am 70 years old and was brought up to remove hats when entering a building. Nowdays that is not always practical or convenient, so I wear it wherever and whenever I wish, conventions be damned.

Tru dat!

 

[RJR]

Tru dat!

+1,age has its privileges,imo.

 

[Bob Roberts]

+1,age has its privileges,imo.

VERY tru dat!

 

[Genuine Classic Gangster]

Unless there is somewhere clean/safe to put my hat, it will stay on my head...

That is my policy too.

And at informal restaurants/lunch counters/pubs or any similar type of place, I don't even consider removing my hat.

 

[Bob Roberts]

That is my policy too.

And at informal restaurants/lunch counters/pubs or any similar type of place, I don't even consider removing my hat.

Or in really cool/hip/cutting edge restaurants either! Lol.

 

[Shanghailander]

I was at an upscale restaurant for lunch once. As the hostess was leading us into the dining room, which was almost deserted, she asked if she could take my hat for me. The way she asked prompted me to reply, "I take it you have a policy about wearing hats in the dining room?"

She confirmed that. I was a little miffed, since I have been wearing hats for 50 years and would never think of wearing a hat at the table (a bar is different).
But what really aggravated me, after handing my hat over, was seeing some guy in shorts and a polo shirt wearing a baseball cap while seated at a table.

Apparently my fedora alerted the hostess that I was some boorish slob ignorant of etiquette, but the baseball cap wearing customer was some high class gent whose sartorial style signaled that he was to be left alone.

 

[-30-]

Upon entering, my first question to an unfamiliar host/hostess of any restaurant, is whether they serve Coca-Cola; if the answer is in the negative,
I quietly tell them that I will not be eating there. Your above scenario would especially lead me to the same conclusion.

Regards.

 

[Hurricane Jack]

That is my policy too.

And at informal restaurants/lunch counters/pubs or any similar type of place, I don't even consider removing my hat.

Ditto. When I'm alone or with a business friend I almost always sit at the bar to eat or drink. It's all non smoking now. Never have to wait on a table. Never remove my hat.

 

[HudsonHawk]

I was at an upscale restaurant for lunch once. As the hostess was leading us into the dining room, which was almost deserted, she asked if she could take my hat for me. The way she asked prompted me to reply, "I take it you have a policy about wearing hats in the dining room?"

She confirmed that. I was a little miffed, since I have been wearing hats for 50 years and would never think of wearing a hat at the table (a bar is different).
But what really aggravated me, after handing my hat over, was seeing some guy in shorts and a polo shirt wearing a baseball cap while seated at a table.

Apparently my fedora alerted the hostess that I was some boorish slob ignorant of etiquette, but the baseball cap wearing customer was some high class gent whose sartorial style signaled that he was to be left alone.

I've eaten at a number of restaurants purporting to have a dress code, but only once, at Arnaud's in New Orleans, did I ever witness a restaurant turn away customers dressed inappropriately. Unfortunately, they did let them into the bar, so what I thought would be a nice after dinner drink and cigar turned out to be hipster hell.

 

[Bob Roberts]

I was at an upscale restaurant for lunch once. As the hostess was leading us into the dining room, which was almost deserted, she asked if she could take my hat for me. The way she asked prompted me to reply, "I take it you have a policy about wearing hats in the dining room?"

She confirmed that. I was a little miffed, since I have been wearing hats for 50 years and would never think of wearing a hat at the table (a bar is different).
But what really aggravated me, after handing my hat over, was seeing some guy in shorts and a polo shirt wearing a baseball cap while seated at a table.

Apparently my fedora alerted the hostess that I was some boorish slob ignorant of etiquette, but the baseball cap wearing customer was some high class gent whose sartorial style signaled that he was to be left alone.

OR... the hostess recognized you as a Proper Gentlemen and treated you exactly as such by having the courtesy and manners and etiquette (as a hostess in a fine restaurant should) to ask you if she could help you with your hat as they often would ask a Lady or Gentlemen if they may take your coat. I wish more fine restaurants would do the same as it would make hat wearing customers much more comfortable dinning in fine establishments. Hense she possibly treated the ill mannered customer as such and you with more dignity and respect.

 

[Zombie_61]

I was at an upscale restaurant for lunch once...Apparently my fedora alerted the hostess that I was some boorish slob ignorant of etiquette, but the baseball cap wearing customer was some high class gent whose sartorial style signaled that he was to be left alone.

I think the issue here is that the baseball cap has become so ubiquitous that most people don't pay any attention to them or the people wearing them, and/or they don't think of a baseball cap as a "hat".

Veering back towards the main topic, my wife's sister and a couple of ladies we know have had their purses stolen while they were dining in restaurants. Because of this, my wife refuses to let her purse out of her sight. So, except for those rare occasions when it would be completely obnoxious to do so, my wife insists on having a chair or empty seat to place her purse upon while we're dining. As such, my hat is usually placed on top of her purse while we're seated at the table. But if I find myself in a situation in which there is truly no safe place to store my hat while we eat, it stays on my head. If it comes down to a choice between offending someone by wearing my hat at the table or my hat getting damaged or lost, someone's feelings are gonna' get hurt.

 

[tropicalbob]

OR... the hostess recognized you as a Proper Gentlemen and treated you exactly as such by having the courtesy and manners and etiquette (as a hostess in a fine restaurant should) to ask you if she could help you with your hat as they often would ask a Lady or Gentlemen if they may take your coat. I wish more fine restaurants would do the same as it would make hat wearing customers much more comfortable dinning in fine establishments. Hense she possibly treated the ill mannered customer as such and you with more dignity and respect.

This is precisely what I was thinking. The guy with the ball cap wasn't worth consideration.

 

[Rogera]

OR... the hostess recognized you as a Proper Gentlemen and treated you exactly as such by having the courtesy and manners and etiquette (as a hostess in a fine restaurant should) to ask you if she could help you with your hat as they often would ask a Lady or Gentlemen if they may take your coat. I wish more fine restaurants would do the same as it would make hat wearing customers much more comfortable dinning in fine establishments. Hense she possibly treated the ill mannered customer as such and you with more dignity and respect.

Amen brother! I think you nailed that in the head!

 

[Bob Roberts]

Amen brother! I think you nailed that in the head!

Thank you! Of course I'd wanna know where they were keeping it...

 

[Rogera]

Thank you! Of course I'd wanna know where they were keeping it...

That's the first thing I thought! I'm mighty particular about where my hats are put.

 

[Bob Roberts]

That's the first thing I thought! I'm mighty particular about where my hats are put.

Seperation Anxiety...

 

[Zombie_61]

Thank you! Of course I'd wanna know where they were keeping it...

"Oh, we had to put it in the walk-in freezer. You might want to let that thawed salmon slime dry before you try to brush it off of the brim."

 

[Bird Lives]

Thank you! Of course I'd wanna know where they were keeping it...

I'd have to ask....You can't trust them these days...
Once I had a waitress in an upscale resturant in Istanbul ask me if she could take my hat, and I thought it was cool....I went to wash my hands and saw her throw it in an open space under the cash register....After leaving the Wash Closet I leaned over and looked under that cash register and it was filthy under there...I grab my hat, and carried it to the table while dusting it off....Unbelievable....I put it in the wide bay window shelf next to my chair. She looked very "put out" when she took my order, like I was being excessive..Just by getting my hat, I didn't say anything....It was all I could do, not to say anything, but the company I was in would not have dug a scene, so I was cool....didn't tip....but I was cool....}8^))

 

[Bird Lives]

I can see, you guys have some pretty clever ways of adapting the rooms environment....lol

I try to do the same...But some lessons that I have learned the hard way...
1. If I have set it on the table, someone ALWAYS spills something on it! It's a law of nature...
2. If sat on a chair, someone ALWAYS sits on it....The ears of an empty chair back are cool...
3. My hat will not be put on the floor...
4. On your knees while sitting in a friends living room maybe, but never at a dinner table...it becomes a crumb or spill catcher again...
5. If sat on women's pocketbooks that are in an empty chair....one of the ladies will ALWAYS need something, and pick up your hat and set it in another empty chair while she gets her pocket book...when immediately someone else will sit on it...ALWAYS !
6. And oh yes, whenever a hostess or host offers to take it for you, investigate where they are going to put if, if you wish to ever see it again looking the same as it does before giving it to him...

So thinking of how to use the local landscape is first, but when no exceptable solution presents itself, the hat stays on my head....If the place isn't hip enough to give me an option for my hat then it isn't hip enough for me to worry about it....

The above examples of cause and affect, I have personally seen happen either to me or someone else more than once....But not to me anymore...because I eventually learned from them....

I do try to use hat etiquette whenever possible, but I do believe the rules have changed over the years...For one reason, the baseball cap has changed the rules...And this business of resturants not having a place for your hat. Also if one makes a show of removing their hat for a lady, many times people these days resent it. They think you are trying to make a statement or get attention. So we really have to size up the situation, and be cool. And of course sometimes it is the right thing to do, so I think these days, we have to use our heads and improvise...It's not as clear cut as it once was. But as hat wearing is definitely coming back, the new etiquette will sort itself out...And we will see a new manual of arms, for modern hat etiquette...

 

[Bamaboots]

Recently, while dining with a group in one of our nicer Mexican restaurants, I noticed a hat/coat rack (rarity) in a corner away from our table but within my line of sight. The rack was empty and within minutes after placing my hat on it, our server picked up the rack and placed it next to our table. I certainly expressed my gratitude.