Want to buy or sell something? Check the classifieds
  • The Fedora Lounge is supported in part by commission earning affiliate links sitewide. Please support us by using them. You may learn more here.

Public Displays of Affection

klind65

One of the Regulars
Messages
162
Location
New York City
In the golden era social opprobrium was leveled at those who ventured to be too demonstrative with their mutual affection in public. Even when I was growing up, a few decades later, this was still a considered a gaucherie. Yet now, it appears to be making an unfortunate return. I still find it distasteful. What are your opinions? Does it bother you when people attempt to devour one another in public? Do you prefer people to keep some semblance of dignity when in view of others?
 

DBLIII

One of the Regulars
Messages
229
Location
Hill City, SD
klind65 said:
I still find it distasteful. What are your opinions? Does it bother you when people attempt to devour one another in public? Do you prefer people to keep some semblance of dignity when in view of others?

I was taught by my parents that it was distasteful and should not be done in public. I have followed that thinking all of my adult life.


Having said that, I am not sure whether my opinion has much validity since I have about a 50-50 chance of going through divorce #3, which does not lend much credence to my comments on when or where to be affectionate.....
 

LizzieMaine

Bartender
Messages
33,699
Location
Where The Tourists Meet The Sea
I grew up in a culture where it just wasn't done. No questions asked, it just wasn't done. Even today, when I see people all clingy-feely in the street, I know they aren't from around here.

It's one of those things I just deal with, though -- like the dreadful spectacle of grown men walking the streets in short pants, it's one of those unspeakable things that's just part and parcel of the modern world, and I just mind my own business and look the other way.
 

hailey greenhat

A-List Customer
Messages
484
Location
Redondo Beach California
I'm 20 (21 in november) and personally i don't agree with an abundance of pda it's distasteful and makes me uncomfortable, when I'm the one roped into the pda i stop it as soon as possible, but then again i don't like people staring at me :rolleyes:
btw i was never raised religiously and i live in a beach community so obviously I'm more lib than conservative i think its just that it's inconsiderate.
 

dhermann1

I'll Lock Up
Messages
9,154
Location
Da Bronx, NY, USA
I've always felt that what made PDAs distasteful was the degree of exhibitionism of the participants. Somehow people getting all excited about each other in an unselfconscious way never bothers me. I sort of like it. But when you see two people attempting to swallow each other's tongue in an "Ohhh, look at us getting all hot" sort of way, that bugs me.
 

ladybrettashley

One of the Regulars
Messages
126
Location
the south
Honestly, i think it's adorable. I love seeing couples that can't keep their hands off each other, so long as they keep their hands off certain parts of each other! I mean things like kisses, handholding, arms around each other.

In other words, public displays of affection. Public displays of lust are not so appealing.

But i generally assume people will grow out of it, as it is almost always teenagers. The reason they're doing that in public is because the public isn't going to be nearly as upset about it as their parents ;). So, by "grow out of it" i mean literally "get a room" (of their own, and with it some privacy).

What can i say, i love love. I think it's brilliant, and it makes my day brighter when i can tell people are happy - and, particularly, happy with each other. So, mostly, i think there needs to be a distinction between affection and lust. Not that i have anything against lust ;). Only, it needn't be public.
 

Foofoogal

Banned
Messages
4,884
Location
Vintage Land
I know people don't like it and I know it is rude and I totally have not done it thanks to my mothers wishes but...
as a romantic I sort of like to see young people holding hands and smooching. Like in a park or such. I am not meaning vulgarity but just young love.
I think after this last year I am almost microscoping life looking for familiar things. Babies and young people and life is up there high on my things that bring me comfort list.

or maybe I am thinking about our Anniversary coming up on Sunday. 34 years. :D

(couples that can't keep their hands off each other)
 

la vie en rose

New in Town
Messages
18
Location
Ontario, Canada
Personally, I agree with some of the above posters - there can be varying degrees of affection, some of which are appropriate in public and some in private. My boyfriend often opens doors for me, helps me carry things (groceries, et cetera), steadies me on the bus and watches out for me near dangerous roads; perhaps I'm being overliteral but I think these are all displays of affection too! They show that he cares about me just as much as when we hold hands or link arms.

That being said, I think chaste kisses in public are perfectly acceptable - when we part ways en route, for example, a quick goodbye kiss and hug would not offend anyone. However, any longer than a second or two, and it might be veering on unsuitable territory.
 

hailey greenhat

A-List Customer
Messages
484
Location
Redondo Beach California
Some clarification

To me PDA has always meant swallowing your partner whole in a public setting, enthusiastic groping, etc. Hand holding, hugging, gazing into each others eyes, little kisses these are all things that would have been O.K. back in the day (unless you want to get victorian) and i highly doubt are the things people refer to when talking unsightly PDA.
Personally i get giddy when i see an old couple together doing sweet things, young love need not apply.
 

Quixoticlio

New in Town
Messages
12
Location
Surrey, England
hailey greenhat said:
To me PDA has always meant swallowing your partner whole in a public setting, enthusiastic groping, etc. Hand holding, hugging, gazing into each others eyes, little kisses these are all things that would have been O.K. back in the day (unless you want to get victorian) and i highly doubt are the things people refer to when talking unsightly PDA.
Personally i get giddy when i see an old couple together doing sweet things, young love need not apply.

Yeah, I think what we think of as PDA is really Public Groping. There's just a line where it goes from aww, look aren't they a cute couple to ugh, get a room and sadly a lot of people don't seem to notice/care when they're crossing the line
 

Shangas

I'll Lock Up
Messages
6,116
Location
Melbourne, Australia
I've see PDA's myself...albeit occasionally...And I'm of the opinion that it shouldn't be done beyond a certain level. Hugs, kisses upon first sightings is perfectly normal. But cuddling and petting should be kept to the bedroom.
 

Viola

Call Me a Cab
Messages
2,469
Location
NSW, AUS
I definitely hold hands and kiss and stuff in public. That said, I mean, I think I'm the polar inverse of Lizzie as far as culture: I scream and hug and kiss and stuff with just friends that I know, too. Yankee reserve the who the what? ;)

I will tongue-kiss my guy in public. We're in a long-distance relationship and when I see him at the airport its sort of a mutual grab thing. We can't have been THAT bad: I saw an old lady smiling at us in the Sydney Airport. Okay, more like almost laughing at us, but definitely not "aaah my eyes!"

So, uh, the public tongue-kissing is mostly in airports. Also when he proposed but I believe that is inherently an excuse.

However, he also likes me to sit on his lap in public/in company and I'm not entirely sure about that.
 

HadleyH

I'll Lock Up
Messages
4,811
Location
Top of the Hill
I don't mind at all when I see public display of affection (with limits of course). On the contrary, it makes me happy to see people loving and caring about each other. :D


On the other hand, it bothers me no end and makes me kind of sad when couples fight, scream and hate each other in public ... :(.



That's how I feel about the whole thing! :)
 

Forum statistics

Threads
109,009
Messages
3,072,591
Members
54,037
Latest member
GloriaJama
Top