Old sayings, which make no sense?

[Turnip]

Being full like a beach howitzer (German saying) = Being plastered

 

[Trenchfriend]

But what has the Messing/Brass plate for the cannonballs to do with a monkey??

 

[GHT]

But what has the Messing/Brass plate for the cannonballs to do with a monkey??

It's an urban myth. The Oxford English Dictionary does not record the term "monkey" or "brass monkey" being used in this way.
The purported method of storage of cannonballs ("round shot") is simply false. The shot was not stored on deck continuously on the off-chance that the ship might go into battle. Indeed, decks were kept as clear as possible. Furthermore, such a method of storage would result in shot rolling around on deck and causing a hazard in high seas. The shot was stored on the gun or spar decks, in shot racks—longitudinal wooden planks with holes bored into them, known as shot garlands in the Royal Navy, into which round shot was inserted for ready use by the gun crew. Shot was not left exposed to the elements where it could rust. Such rust could lead to the ball not flying true or jamming in the barrel and exploding the gun. Indeed, gunners would attempt to remove as many imperfections as possible from the surfaces of balls. The physics does not stand up to scrutiny. The contraction of both balls and plate over the range of temperatures involved would not be particularly large. The effect claimed possibly could be reproduced under laboratory conditions with objects engineered to a high precision for this purpose, but it is unlikely it would ever have occurred in real life aboard a warship. The reference is most likely a humorous reference to emphasise how cold it is. Such is the colloquial terms in English. It's not unlike a lady who tells you that she needs to powder her nose. It means that she needs to pee.

 

[Bushman]

How does one, "turn a phrase"?

Supposedly Ben Franklin invented the phrase "turn of phrase," but it doesn't really make sense. One suggested meaning is that the words are being turned, as in on a wood lathe, but that still makes no sense to me. Ben Franklin was a politician, playboy, and inventor, not a wood worker.

 

[LizzieMaine]

You can turn a phrase, but you can't tuna fish.

 

[LizzieMaine]

It's an urban myth. The Oxford English Dictionary does not record the term "monkey" or "brass monkey" being used in this way.
The purported method of storage of cannonballs ("round shot") is simply false. The shot was not stored on deck continuously on the off-chance that the ship might go into battle. Indeed, decks were kept as clear as possible. Furthermore, such a method of storage would result in shot rolling around on deck and causing a hazard in high seas. The shot was stored on the gun or spar decks, in shot racks—longitudinal wooden planks with holes bored into them, known as shot garlands in the Royal Navy, into which round shot was inserted for ready use by the gun crew. Shot was not left exposed to the elements where it could rust. Such rust could lead to the ball not flying true or jamming in the barrel and exploding the gun. Indeed, gunners would attempt to remove as many imperfections as possible from the surfaces of balls. The physics does not stand up to scrutiny. The contraction of both balls and plate over the range of temperatures involved would not be particularly large. The effect claimed possibly could be reproduced under laboratory conditions with objects engineered to a high precision for this purpose, but it is unlikely it would ever have occurred in real life aboard a warship. The reference is most likely a humorous reference to emphasise how cold it is. Such is the colloquial terms in English. It's not unlike a lady who tells you that she needs to powder her nose. It means that she needs to pee.

Whenever my mother is in a restaurant and needs to go to the toilet, she always says "I need to go see Mrs. Jones." I always wondered who she was, and why she always hung around in public bathrooms.

 

[Hercule]

Whenever my mother is in a restaurant and needs to go to the toilet, she always says "I need to go see Mrs. Jones." I always wondered who she was, and why she always hung around in public bathrooms.

My dad had a very elderly aunt Ruth who always went to see "Mrs. Murphy." That was probably in the early 70s and she was in her late 80s.

Aunt Ruth (as well as my grandfather) actually went to school in the house I grew up in, which had been a one-room school house.

 

[Frunobulax]

My dad had a very elderly aunt Ruth who always went to see "Mrs. Murphy." That was probably in the early 70s and she was in her late 80s.

Aunt Ruth (as well as my grandfather) actually went to school in the house I grew up in, which had been a one-room school house.

For men, it's "I need to see a man about a dog." Or horse, in more rural areas.

 

[GHT]

For men, it's "I need to see a man about a dog." Or horse, in more rural areas.

You're polite, in the East End of London they tend to: "Point Percy at the porcelain."

 

[belfastboy]

One of my favourite TV shows as a kid was "F Troop" with Ken Berry. There were many scenes of Berry, the Chief and the tribe's medicine man. The medicine man would solemnly spout supposed wise, prescient phrases to which Berry would look at the Chief and ask what it meant.....The Chief always shrugged and said words to the effect..."I have no idea.". To me that was always the funniest thing I had ever seen on TV. It never failed to ignite laughter even when I knew what was coming, knew the punch line...no matter, it was always the funniest thing ever.

 

[Haversack]

My English grandfather would say he had to Jimmy, as in 'Jimmy Riddle', i.e. 'piddle'.

 

[Hercule]

My English grandfather would say he had to Jimmy, as in 'Jimmy Riddle', i.e. 'piddle'.

You don't hear piddle much these days.

 

[Tiki Tom]

We used to say “I’ve got to shake hands with the sultan.” Back when “Sultan” was the urinal brand.

 

[Trenchfriend]

Did anyone of your ever experienced the "stronger thirst, after having salty stuff", the older always mention?

I never did.

 

[Harp]

But what has the Messing/Brass plate for the cannonballs to do with a monkey??

A monkey brush is soaked inside a bucket of water, than plunged into the bore of a recently fired 155mm howitzer,
removing burning cloths left charge load, allowing for another 98lbs projectile insert with cloth charge bag.

The 155mm is a favorite gun, along with the 102mm. That 1-0-deuce is just a honey of a weapon.

 

[MisterCairo]

The Wikipedia entry you quote references brass sculptures of monkeys with phrases relating to freezing of their tails or ears or noses as being legit in history. The balls idea is a 20th century addition to those body parts on a statue (the idea being it is so cold the brass bits of the statue have fallen off), with the naval references being, ironically, bollocks!

It's an urban myth. The Oxford English Dictionary does not record the term "monkey" or "brass monkey" being used in this way.
The purported method of storage of cannonballs ("round shot") is simply false. The shot was not stored on deck continuously on the off-chance that the ship might go into battle. Indeed, decks were kept as clear as possible. Furthermore, such a method of storage would result in shot rolling around on deck and causing a hazard in high seas. The shot was stored on the gun or spar decks, in shot racks—longitudinal wooden planks with holes bored into them, known as shot garlands in the Royal Navy, into which round shot was inserted for ready use by the gun crew. Shot was not left exposed to the elements where it could rust. Such rust could lead to the ball not flying true or jamming in the barrel and exploding the gun. Indeed, gunners would attempt to remove as many imperfections as possible from the surfaces of balls. The physics does not stand up to scrutiny. The contraction of both balls and plate over the range of temperatures involved would not be particularly large. The effect claimed possibly could be reproduced under laboratory conditions with objects engineered to a high precision for this purpose, but it is unlikely it would ever have occurred in real life aboard a warship. The reference is most likely a humorous reference to emphasise how cold it is. Such is the colloquial terms in English. It's not unlike a lady who tells you that she needs to powder her nose. It means that she needs to pee.

 

[Doctor Strange]

My raised-in-the-1920/30s dad used to say disapprovingly, "I can't see <him, it, name> for beans."

Anybody know where this expression came from, and why "beans" was the point of comparison?

 

[Harp]

"Saddle up, we're moving out. Take the six slick, you got point."

A cavalry order, stolen by Infantry. The M60 7.62mm is no longer in use, replaced by the SAW.
(luggin a '60 built character, not the SAW though...) Point is still point. Out with the old in with the new,
like the "shave and a haircut two bit" trigger squeeze for the Browning Automatic Rifle, reluctance to change,
and the lingo's best left as is. After the war I did a tour with the Hellenic Army in northern Greece and the
American BAR in the Greek Infantry was a crew served weapon. Countless hours telling these guys that the BAR
was a one man weapon and had been since the Second World War. I tried to steal some American M60s
but availability scarce.

 

[BobHufford]

I told my Mom I was bringing the dogs with me on our next visit to "the home" (now that we're allowed to visit again). She said that she hadn't see them "in a coon's age".

This old saying makes little sense given the fact that raccoons are not long-lived. Typically 2 to 3 years in the wild. Although, in this case, it's been less than a year so I'll let it slide.

 

[KILO NOVEMBER]

One of my favourite TV shows as a kid was "F Troop" with Ken Berry. There were many scenes of Berry, the Chief and the tribe's medicine man. The medicine man would solemnly spout supposed wise, prescient phrases to which Berry would look at the Chief and ask what it meant.....The Chief always shrugged and said words to the effect..."I have no idea.". To me that was always the funniest thing I had ever seen on TV. It never failed to ignite laughter even when I knew what was coming, knew the punch line...no matter, it was always the funniest thing ever.

Ah, yes, the "Heckawi" tribe. I think the joke originally has the first syllable as a different word, one not used in polite company.

I've long had the view that humor comes in two flavors, one like you describe, when you know what's going to happen, but it still breaks you up when you see it. My favorite example is Ralph Kramden getting increasingly worked up with some annoying action by Ed Norton. You see the explosion coming, but you still guffaw when it happens.

The other flavor is when the punch line is completely unexpected (I can't think of an example, but I'm sure you will recognize it.)