Old fashioned guys

[Empyrium]

is there such a thing as an old fashioned guy nowadays? they look so gentleman-like and proper!

only a cane is missing for me to become old fashioned...which i dont dare to use nowdays, i wish i could...
at least i wear spats

 

[LizzieMaine]

A gentleman is not just about good manners but someone who puts people at their ease as well.

Oh, and it helps if they are a snappy dresser! lol

Exactly -- I've always thought a real gentleman was essentially *humble*. He doesn't try to be the focus of everything, he doesn't strut and preen, and while he's well put together, he's never a fop or a dandy or a dude. He's a mature, responsible*grownup,* not an overgrown perpetual adolescent, and part of being mature and responsible includes treating everyone he deals with in a fair and square way at all times.

A rare breed nowadays, but they do exist.

 

[Nashoba]

Exactly -- I've always thought a real gentleman was essentially *humble*. He doesn't try to be the focus of everything, he doesn't strut and preen, and while he's well put together, he's never a fop or a dandy or a dude. He's a mature, responsible*grownup,* not an overgrown perpetual adolescent, and part of being mature and responsible includes treating everyone he deals with in a fair and square way at all times.

A rare breed nowadays, but they do exist.

I agree Lizzie and I would add that he must also still know how to let loose a little and have fun! Good clean, honest fun!

 

[goldwyn girl]

I am most fortunate to have a gentleman for a husband. He opens doors, carries the heavy bags, has manners, is a sweetheart and takes control when required. No matter how often he does these things I always thank him as a lady should. In general this type of man is rare but we are lucky to have so many on The Lounge. Thank you Gentlemen :eusa_clap

 

[ShortClara]

Exactly -- I've always thought a real gentleman was essentially *humble*. He doesn't try to be the focus of everything, he doesn't strut and preen, and while he's well put together, he's never a fop or a dandy or a dude. He's a mature, responsible*grownup,* not an overgrown perpetual adolescent, and part of being mature and responsible includes treating everyone he deals with in a fair and square way at all times.

A rare breed nowadays, but they do exist.

Yes, back in the day, a true "Gentleman" was born into it, and he didn't need to prove himself in any way. He was to the manor born and his good manners, dress, and deportment were excellent because that's the way he was expected to behave - at least in public.

 

[missbeki]

*sigh* i just have to find me one now!

 

[pigeon toe]

I think my boyfriend is the perfect gentleman. As well as being chivalrous, he shows kindness and respect to everyone. It's really amazing actually.

We have a group of couples that we hang out with constantly, the guys are friends of his from high school, and though he's very much a man's man, my boyfriend is the only guy who will really sit down with us ladies and have a conversation with us like we are equals. I often feel like when I'm talking to the other guys that they don't really want to be talking to me or they aren't taking me seriously. Too much machismo. To me a real man doesn't need to act macho like that, he's confident enough in himself to just act like himself.

 

[ShortClara]

I know what you mean Pidgeon Toe. My husband and I went out with friends of his parents, a couple, once - we lived in the same city as they did and they were "looking out for us" for his parents. The man never spoke to me. He spoke to my hubby only. Even when he asked questions about me, he asked my husband. It was the most offensive night I've ever spent. This man's poor wife was left to only talk to me and my husband - her own husband wouldn't speak with her - it was bizarre. A couple of times I spoke to this man, looking him in the eye and daring him to talk to me, and he was much older than me. It was awful and sooo domineering.

A real man (er, Gentleman!) can and will talk to everyone, because he's got no chip on his shoulder or axe to grind. Chatting with my hubby about anything is one of the best things in the world!

The only advice I can give to the ladies looking for that real gentleman out there is to keep being a quality lady - because you will find him, and, when you do, he'll be the kind looking for a real lady, too.

 

[gluegungeisha]

I guess it has something to do with the way we were brought up? Im only 18, but I just love a guy with gentlemanly manners

Perhaps...but not completely, in my opinion. I was raised without any strong, positive male figures in my life to speak of, but I certainly appreciate the rare gentlemen I encounter.

I believe that women who treat themselves and others with respect and kindness attract people of that nature.

 

[HadleyH]

Old fashioned sure.
Too old fashioned no way!

 

[PA Dancer]

EDIT: New Thread in The Observation Bar

I have a question for the old fashioned men of our forum.

Do you find yourselves ever being taken advantage of because you are old fashioned, or well mannered?

Examples

Being expected to pay, when the woman doesn't even offer to chip in at least for the tip in a resturant, or maybe you bought the tickets to a movie, she should buy the goobers, the popcorn or the drinks.

Opening a door. Have you ever had a woman just sit or stand there waiting for you to open the door?

I am a firm believer in please, thank you and may I.

What do you do in these situations when you feel you are being taken advantage of?

For the ladies of the lounge: Are or were any of you guily of taking advantage of these types of kindnesses realizing it or not?

 

[Miss Neecerie]

You might want to start a new thread in the Observation bar for this.

There are a lot of men that respect the 'female sancturary-ness' of the Powder Room and neither read or post here.

 

[PA Dancer]

You might want to start a new thread in the Observation bar for this.

There are a lot of men that respect the 'female sancturary-ness' of the Powder Room and neither read or post here.

lol good point

 

[kamikat]

What an interesting topic! I think all of us who have gentlemen as our mates need to thank our mothers-in-law. They raised their sons to be those gentlemen. I agree with whomever said to not hold the jeans and t-shirts against them. My husband had no real style of his own when I met him. Twelve years later, his closet if filled with 50's bowling shirts, wing tip shoes and porkpie hats.

 

[Bebop]

Being an old fashioned guy, I usually don't peek into the powder room but saw this when I hit "New Posts". So... what would be the opposite of being an old fashioned guy? Not opening doors for people, cussing in public, not giving your umbrella to your female companion, slapping a woman on the back with a little too much umph? This just sounds like bad manners not how new fashioned guys behave. What exactly is the attitude of the new fashioned guys? What is it they do that is different from what we consider old fashioned?

 

[GoldLeaf]

I think all of us who have gentlemen as our mates need to thank our mothers-in-law. They raised their sons to be those gentlemen. ......

LOL I wish I could agree. My MIL is an atrocious human being with the politeness of a barn animal and about as much grace. Hyper-critical with mean comments hidden in the disguise of a compliment. "Oh, your house is very nice. I wouldn't decorate this way at all if it were me, but I guess you make it work." My FIL is an insane human being, but more likable, at least. I think my in-laws showed my husband what he DIDN'T want to be, instead of what he should be. Either way, I got a good one

 

[epr25]

I lucked out too. My fiance is very mannerly and is a gentleman.

Has anyone ever met another vintage person or gentleman due to the way they were dressed? You know "like" dressing old fashioned people being drawn to each other? My vintage passion came about because of my other half. He was the first and only man I had ever been with that dug it and incoraged it. He might be regretting that now. But I have also done the same for him.

 

[kamikat]

Has anyone ever met another vintage person or gentleman due to the way they were dressed?

I don't know if this counts, but I met my husband at a historical reenactment.

 

[Adele]

Has anyone ever met another vintage person or gentleman due to the way they were dressed?

I have yet to meet someone who shares the same admiration for the good ol' days.

However, going with the topic, I have to say that if at any time, regardless of whether it is a lady or a man, I always say thank you if they have been courteous. In the same token, if there is ever anything I can do for someone else, I certainly will.

This thread reminded me of this one time where I had gone out to dinner with a friend, and as we were getting ready to leave (we were already inside our automobile) this other car comes to park next to us. Well, there was an elderly man who came out, and he opened the doors of the car for both the elderly ladies he was with. I found it to be the most adorable thing I had seen in an awfully long time.

 

[Rachel]

I always appreciate a guy holding the door open, giving up his seat, etc. But I am ashamed to say one time I was trying to open a garbage bag full of clothes I was supposed to sort through for a charity. I was having a tad of trouble but I almost had it ripped open and a male friend of mine reached to help me and I said ‘'I’ve got it.” and was a tad annoyed he thought I couldn’t handle it but now that I think of it it was a very kind gesture and I should’ve said thank you and I wish I had.

No matter our silly reacting guys, we appreciate you're being a gentle man don't give up!