Not Outdressing My Groom of a Father

[cjw314]

Greets! It's Friday!

So my dad and his new wife just returned safely from a 4 month joyride around North America getting married (again, for each of them), and we're headed to a reception this weekend for them. Since it's not following a ceremony, though, I think it's a less obvious decision of formality.

Dress code mentioned on the 'save the date' type invitation was a casual 'no jeans, please'. (Nice! A chance to dress up and act like I don't plan on dancing while secretly practicing! ) However... I just heard from my sister that my dad is wearing the shirt he was married in... on the beach... in Hawaii. Likely, if I know my dad, a pair of 'nice' khakis. Khakis... but not jeans.

I'm finding it an interesting challenging to not out-dress the groom who's wearing khakis and a tropical flowered shirt, while still looking respectfully dressed for the event. It's tempting to ignore his dress, as apparently his bride is wearing her wedding dress.

I'm considering the mid grey dress pants and charcoal suit jacket, dress shirt, no tie, pocket square, silver watch. The fam is wearing navy/silver, and I have a favorite light blue shirt that'd be great next to them. I don't have a hat worthy of the suit, either, so this would get me the option of a cover.

His extended family, many of my aunts and uncles from around the country... as well as his wife's local family, are also expected for the reception. Should be an entertaining event, regardless.


"too long/didn't read": Dad's wearing khakis and a tropical flower shirt to his post-cruise wedding reception. Should I bother to not out-dress him?

p.s. Also opcorn: lol

 

[Feraud]

Wear what you consider appropriate for a wedding.
The question should not be whether you are outdressing the groom but will the groom under-dress everyone else in the room..

 

[ottawa_adam]

I agree with this post. I don't subscribe to the don't-outdress-the-groom mantra for weddings. Wear what you feel is appropriate and comfortable to you.

From the sounds of it, you probably won't go wrong wearing a blazer, tie and nice trousers. You could always remove the tie if you feel overdressed upon arrival.

Wear what you consider appropriate for a wedding.
The question should not be whether you are outdressing the groom but will the groom under-dress everyone else in the room..

 

[cjw314]

Agreed... thank you two for the insight.

I suppose it would matter more if it were the bride and a female guest? I hadn't considered the situation at all until before...

 

[Tomasso]

I would choose a sport coat, odd trousers (probably flannel), button down collar shirt with silk knit tie.

 

[fashion frank]

Don't Over Think This One !

CJW 314
Don't over think this .
IMHO it's quite simple , wear what YOU feel good in !

I was once told "don't you think that your a little over dressed for this event " to which I replied , "no not really , it's more like the rest of the men in the room are under dressed " , to which the person who posed the question to me chuckled and said " you know I never thought of it that way " , to which I told him ,"hey it might have been a while back ,but even just a few decades ago nobody would ever leave the house not being "dressed properly " period.

The sad thing about the world that we now live in is that everything from our clothes to our own kids education is being for lack of a better term " dumbed down" to the common denominator.

This country used to have "class" and now you see men dressed like slobs ,and women running around in sweat pants and their hair up in a ponytail truly shamefull.

So in closing what I'm trying to impart to is dont let the bast@#d's grind you down ,dress for the day and feel good about doin it !

All the Best, Fashion Frank

 

[nice hat dude!]

Sounds like a fairly easy decision,it's your dad so if you dress respectfully he would more than likely be ok with it
and if you dressed better than he did without going overboard ie;tuxedo he would probably be proud that you dressed up in respect for him.

 

[LoveMyHats2]

CJW 314
Don't over think this .
IMHO it's quite simple , wear what YOU feel good in !

I was once told "don't you think that your a little over dressed for this event " to which I replied , "no not really , it's more like the rest of the men in the room are under dressed " , to which the person who posed the question to me chuckled and said " you know I never thought of it that way " , to which I told him ,"hey it might have been a while back ,but even just a few decades ago nobody would ever leave the house not being "dressed properly " period.

The sad thing about the world that we now live in is that everything from our clothes to our own kids education is being for lack of a better term " dumbed down" to the common denominator.

This country used to have "class" and now you see men dressed like slobs ,and women running around in sweat pants and their hair up in a ponytail truly shamefull.

So in closing what I'm trying to impart to is dont let the bast@#d's grind you down ,dress for the day and feel good about doin it !

All the Best, Fashion Frank

You have me totally in agreement with your statement, for sure!

 

[Edward]

Ask the bride. It's her day. [huh]

 

[kiwilrdg]

in Hawaii.

The location of the wedding does have a lot to do with the level of formality. If he is wearing an Aloha shirt he would be at a suit and tie level. I would say dress accordingly. But remember that people who do not have an understanding of Pacific Island culture might not understand.

I have been to formal occasions with a mixing of cultural formal wear. I have never seen a problem whether I was in a suit and tie, kilt and tweed, or my Barong Tagalog.