New Generation Brims With Anxiety Over Hat Etiquette

[AcridSaint]

I just see tipping your hat or removing on the elevator as another part of being a polite and decent person, much like the other things I mentioned. I will hold a door for a man, but I'll rarely open a car door for him or pay his bill. Unless, of course, it's a matter of gentlemen fighting over a check :cheers1:

 

[Woodfluter]

I think there's been several threads on this subject here (not to squelch one more). My take:

(1) The core of courtesy isn't "manners" as expressed in a particular set of rules, the specifics of which change with time, but rather genuine consideration. Whether you remove or retain a hat isn't what's really important, but rather how you express concern for the feelings and well-being of others.

(2) Looking back from the 21st century, we might see some particulars of etiquette through a slightly distorted lens. Your experience, and your parents also, might have been different but...my folks had a copy of Emily Post and I distinctly remember them reading this stuff to me when I was a kid and howling with laughter...because nobody they knew acted anything like that (they were young adults in the 30s and 40s). It was regarded as a humor book in our household.

(3) There are good and fine things in the customs of past eras. If you or I want to emulate some of that for good reasons, bravo. Let's go for it. But it would also be wise to remember that -

(4) We are living in 2010. We have to cope with different expectations and different facilities than those in the past. As hats see a resurgence, maybe the time to come to craft a contemporary set of customs.

Cheers,
- Bill

 

[Richard Warren]

I have to disagree. The core of courtesy in my opinion is embodied in a set of conventional rules. If one has consideration for one's fellow man and respect for himself, he learns those rules if they have not been instilled in him from birth. Being social conventions, these rules are not immutable nor are they necessarily universal. In any social context, they do exist as a set of expectations. One can indeed suffer from not complying with them. So any anxiety felt by a new generation of hat wearers might well be justified.

 

[Feraud]

I am not sensing anxiety from the generation of hatwearers but an unknowing and obnoxious unwillingness to accept an establishment's rules about hatwearing.
In post#33 I highlighted the guy who didn't think he needed to respect a bar's no hat policy because he "spent $80 dollars on his hat".

In this excerpt from the article, students do not want to comply with school dress regulations because they are enamoured with their new trend.

Several students at Lycee International de Los Angeles in Los Angeles started wearing pageboy hats and fedoras to school in the past year. When reminded of the school's dress code barring hats in the building, some students became defensive about why they should be allowed to keep them on.

"Responses range from complaints that their hair is messed up, that it is part of their outfit, it doesn't affect their work, et cetera…" says Sarah Davis-Weyman, an elementary English teacher at the school's Los Feliz campus. "Most of the time, the kids rush to put their hats back on for recess and lunch."

Sometimes, students are in too much of a rush. Harper Rubin recalls getting into a little "incident" with Ms. Davis-Weyman, who reprimanded him when he put on his hat in the hall as students were lining up to go outside.

"I didn't totally agree with that," says the 11-year-old, who admits he made a big deal out of it. "I know you take your hat off inside but I didn't think it went that far," he says.

So... are people anxious? I don't see it.
Are people their typical flagrant "I don't need to follow these guidelines" selves? Absolutely..

 

[suitedcboy]

I will state that I am a relaxed etiquette person as it regards hats. My anxiety about hat hair and hat damage is greater than my feelings of offensiveness to others. The hat on my head stands no chance of causing permanent wrinkles or stains on any item of clothing they might have on but me removing my hat might cause me that harm (OK, maybe I need to take my hat off when eating certain foods with real risk of flying sauce).

I do have a challenge to the public: You turn off your cell and I'll take off my hat. Absent your manners over talking loudly on your phone I promise not to start talking loudly to my hat.

 

[Richard Warren]

If I were 18 again at this point in history, and knew what I know now, I would be afraid, very afraid.

 

[ScionPI2005]

I do have a challenge to the public: You turn off your cell and I'll take off my hat. Absent your manners over talking loudly on your phone I promise not to start talking loudly to my hat.

I believe this is a very valid and real challenge! :eusa_clap

To sum up my beliefs, in this day and age, there are some things society does that are far worse than NOT removing one's hat!

 

[BanjoMerlin]

Most places that have rules against hats put them in place because of some hat-wearing element that caused trouble. It is easier to say "No Hats" than it is to say "No ball caps worn backwards or sideways or however the local gang members are wearing them this week."

That old "rule" about tipping your hat to a lady also says you do not tip your hat to a lady you do not know. This saves a lot of hat tipping.

If you are on a crowded elevator the "remove your hat when a lady enters" rule is suspended. If you can't move your arms how are you going to remove your hat, and where are you going to hold your hat? If the elevator wasn't crowded when you took your hat off but gets crowded it is OK to put your hat back on - as long as it doesn't endanger anyone.

My hats aren't part of a costume so I really don't have any problem removing them. Unless I am sure a restaurant or club has a secure place for my hat I don't bring it in - it just isn't worth the trouble. In malls and other public places where the ceilings are very high I wear my hat - just because they put a roof on it doesn't make it "indoors".

If I get to a door first, I hold it for everyone else - a habit that I learned from practice. Back in the '70s I worked in an office building that had doors with extremely strong springs. It was a local custom that whoever pushed through first held the door for everyone else. One day I was severely chastised by a female for holding the door (I guess she was "liberated"), so I let go of it. Knocked her right on her rear end. I just went on, figured if she could hold her own door she could get up off the floor herself too.

 

[donnc]

Most places that have rules against hats put them in place because of some hat-wearing element that caused trouble. It is easier to say "No Hats" than it is to say "No ball caps worn backwards or sideways or however the local gang members are wearing them this week."

A nearby establishment posts a sign in the window: "Your pants must be this high to enter" (with diagram showing correct pants, above buttocks, and incorrect pants, worn below buttocks.) I'm sure it's intended only as humor, but it's a nice sentiment.

 

[danofarlington]

A nearby establishment posts a sign in the window: "Your pants must be this high to enter" (with diagram showing correct pants, above buttocks, and incorrect pants, worn below buttocks.) I'm sure it's intended only as humor, but it's a nice sentiment.

These "hat etiquette" threads are guaranteed to stir up a ruckus. I love it.

 

[KILO NOVEMBER]

When I remove my hat, my rules.

My rules distinguish between what I see as a public space and what is a private space. I remove my hat in private spaces, but not in public ones. I see no reason to make it more complicated than that.

For example:

Public places include building lobbies, hallways, and elevators, and any place without a roof.

Shopping malls and retail stores are public places.

When I get to an office in a building, I'm out of the public space and into the private space.

A restaurant is a public place, until I take a seat (the table is private so long as I occupy it), and if they have a hat rack or check room.

Restaurants without these amenities are inviting their patrons to wear their hats. I wouldn't patronize a restaurant with a "pretend-to-be-neutral" no hat rule and no place to safely put my doffed hat.

 

[Neophyte]

I've no idea what they're talking about. I'm not anxious at all. I just got into hatwearing this summer, and these are the rules I follow:

1.) Take your hat off in a restaraunt. If there isn't a seat or hook to place your hat, tip it back on your head and be extra polite .

2.) Take your hat off when meeting new people, though tilting the hat way back will work as well.

3.) Take the hat off in houses of worship, or during the pledge, or those other sacred things.

4.) Take the hat off when engaging in conversation or other types of interactions with authority figures, or people from which you are requesting a service to be done. Also, if you're in school, take the hat off in class.

...That's about it for me. These are my own guidelines.

...That's about it.

 

[BanjoMerlin]

4.) Take the hat off when engaging in conversation or other types of interactions with authority figures, or people from which you are requesting a service to be done.

Good rule. That's one you grow out of when the authority figures are young enough to be your kids and you get tired of asking people to do their job.

You've got a few decades yet.

 

[Neophyte]

I'm not even 20, so yeah lol...

Well, there are some jobs people do, and I had my recent trip to Lenscrafters in mind, where the customer has to explain what they want done. That's what I meant. I'm obviously not going to take my hat off while the cashier takes my money lol.

 

[Bustercat]

I've actually been a little floored by the response good hat ettiquette has been getting me.
I get called "sir" all the time, and people respond to my politeness quite a bit more than when I was hatless. It's almost as if it puts one's civility into context.
It's funny, I've found the biggest issue now is finding a way to extricate myself from conversations — people are inclined to open up and bend my ear a lot more. But the greater level of respect I get treated with is surprising.

I've generally expanded the old "say" rule to men as well (if you say please, thank you, excuse me, etc, take it off). Maybe not for random encounters on the street when someone approaches you, unless its a lady or an older gentleman, but when approaching a clerk at a counter, for example, the hat usually comes off. The first impression is the most important, if it finds its way back onto your head because you need both hands, it's still appreciated and I doff it when saying goodbye.

Taking the thing off is easier for me than doffing/brim touching, which still doesn't feel totally natural, but I'm surprised how easy the ettiquette comes — and how big the payoff is.

Next is learning to use it to express emotion, such as angling it into or away from the face throughout the day, but that's a different story.

Bottom line, I'm finding if you're just wearing a hat and not following the rules connected to it, you're missing out on a lot of the fun. Then it's just a dress-up accessory, and not an extension of your personality. I think a hat shouldn't be your look — it should be you.

As for hat regulations, I think in most cases someone demanding you to take off your hat is more impolite than wearing it could ever be.

 

[plain old dave]

Rules follow:

Remove during the following:

1) In ANY place that serves food or tends to the sick

2) National Anthem

3) When a guest in another's residence

4) When entering the building at work

5) In a funeral parlor or at viewings

6) In ANY house of worship for ANY reason

Retain during the following:

1) When shopping

2) Or any other extended indoor evolution where a hat check is impossible or impractical (Library, gun show, etc.)

 

[Neophyte]

Rules follow:

Remove during the following:

1) In ANY place that serves food or tends to the sick

2) National Anthem

3) When a guest in another's residence

4) When entering the building at work

5) In a funeral parlor or at viewings

6) In ANY house of worship for ANY reason

Retain during the following:

1) When shopping

2) Or any other extended indoor evolution where a hat check is impossible or impractical (Library, gun show, etc.)

If it's alright with you, I'm gonna assimilate some of your rules into mine. I've never thought about some of these.

 

[Feraud]

These "hat etiquette" threads are guaranteed to stir up a ruckus. I love it.

It's about the discussion of ideas not the ruckus.

A nearby establishment posts a sign in the window: "Your pants must be this high to enter" (with diagram showing correct pants, above buttocks, and incorrect pants, worn below buttocks.) I'm sure it's intended only as humor, but it's a nice sentiment.

If I am in an establishment where I am paying money for service I don't want to have to look at some idiot's underwear as he shuffles around trying to balance his jeans on his upper thighs or some broad bending over in too short pants with everything falling out the back.

 

[LordBest]

If I'm in a crowded cafe I will keep hat/cap on simply as I think not having it get in the way outweighs the courtesy of taking it off. I tend not to take it off when talking to people in winter, I broke this little rule last week and I blame my first cold in three years on it.

Aren't you supposed to keep hat on in a synagogue?

 

[Neophyte]

Bottom line, I'm finding if you're just wearing a hat and not following the rules connected to it, you're missing out on a lot of the fun. Then it's just a dress-up accessory, and not an extension of your personality. I think a hat shouldn't be your look — it should be you.

As for hat regulations, I think in most cases someone demanding you to take off your hat is more impolite than wearing it could ever be.

This is something I haven't thought of before, but it is something that will stick with me for quite a while. :eusa_clap