My Son Left for the Air Force today...

[Nashoba]

Bonnie there is no such thing as too much mail Before the mail cutoff went into effect for my husband's unit (the cutoff is determined by the amount of time it takes for a letter to get there vs how much time they have left in countr) I wrote to him every day. Mail call is the best part of the day from what I've been told and yes, it sucks when you don't get anything....if you send any goodies or anything, just make sure that you send enough for them to share with everyone as they likely won't be able to store it anywhere for very long (if at all) and it's the nice thing to do to share with your buddies.

52styleline: I agree, well said. The Corps is another one of those steeped in traditions services some of which I roll my eyes at for they make little sense....

 

[ohairas]

We raise our children to set them free. It's part of the cycle of life. Not only is it a growth opportunity for your Son, it is also a point of change in your own life. Use it wisely.

I need a kleenex, and my son is only 2!!
Nikki

 

[Big Man]

... If any FLoungers can give us newbie empty-nesters some advice on how to cope with these mixed feelings (Glad our son is making something of his life, but sad that he's left the "nest".), it sure would be appreciated ...

I drove both my sons to the induction center to send them off to the Army within one-month of each other. I don't mind saying, it damned near killed me to see that bus pull out of the parking lot.

My oldest went to Fort Benning, which is not too terribly far away; but my youngest went to Fort Leonard Wood, which might as well have been on the other side of the moon. That's been six years ago, but when I think about again it seems like just yesterday. My oldest boy, who is tough as nails, later told me that he was just fine until I hugged him and told him I loved him as he was getting on the bus. He was always the "independent sort", but his basic training experience transformed him into someone who became much closer to his family. My youngest boy was always one who was close. I was afraid that his leaving home for the Army would be really hard on him. But, his experience made him very independent, and provided him with the skills and training that would serve him well when a couple years later he was confronted with a profound life altering experience. Both boys received exactly what they needed, when they needed it, to become well-rounded men and productive members of society.

Saying good-by, and not knowing what the future would hold for them at that time, was hard - real, real hard. But time passed fast and I can see (as I really did know then) that their experiences would be some of the most valuable of their entire life. Both boys did their time and have now returned to civilian life. They are much better for the training they received, and it has served them both well in their evolution from boys to men.

I know your son will do well. I know you will do well. At times, I am sure, it will seem to both of you that it was all a giant mistake; however, given time you both will look back and see that it was a valuable experience. Service to one's country is an honorable endeavor. I know you are proud of your son. Tell him "thank you" from me. And write him every day. There is no such thing as too much mail !

 

[Foofoogal]

My dear FIL used to tell us all the time that:
You raise your children to leave you and if they don't you have not done your job well.
Empty nest since 1999 and it was hard. Took about 2 years but now we are loving it. Both of our children are now married and doing well. :eusa_clap

 

[BonnieJean]

Its been almost 4 days since my son left, and I'm doing very well. I think the first couple of days were the roughest, and its been like going through a mini-grief process. (I knew what I was really 'grieving' over was the idea that my job of raising my sons was finally over--they are men now.) Today, I'm in acceptance that this is what my son has chosen for his life right now, just as my other son has chosen a job that is closer to home. I love 52Styleline's phrase, "We raise our children to set them free." It was a little harder to let mine go as we've always done things together as a family, I even homeschooled my sons, so we were together a lot. But today I really understand 52Styleline's words. Thank you for your words of wisdom!

I knew I had finally come to acceptance of my son's absence when I could look at a bag of Nacho Doritos without crying. (They are John's favorite chips.) I have a couple of home-based businesses that have kept me busy as well as my usual chores around the house. So today is good. All your words of encouragement here have been a real blessing to me. And for those young parents who still have many years of parenting left, cherish the times together. And when its time to 'set them free', it may seem hard to let them go at first, but its really not when you come to realize that the whole purpose of parenting was for this very moment of freedom.

 

[Spitfire]

Dear BonnieJean. Looking at your avatar right now. You looks like a girl who wants to have fun and dance in life. Look at it this way: Now's the time. You gained your freedom too!
So time to dry your eyes and get out the dancingshoes. Enjoy life - I bet your son is doing the same
Cheers!

 

[PrettySquareGal]

BonnieJean, thank you and your son for your service to our country. Families serve, too.

 

[Big Man]

Hope all is going well for your son (and mom and dad, too). How about an update?

If you would be willing to share an address, I'd be glad to start writing to your son, as probably other FL folks would as well.

 

[dhermann1]

Somehow I'm visualizing this kid getting into big trouble with the USAF brass for trying to wear a 1944 Air Corps uniform on duty! lol
I never had kids, much to my deep regret. I envy you the painful parts just as much as the joys. It sure looks like you folks gave your son the best possible up bringing, and I'm sure he's going to make you proud in his new vocation.
Now get out of the house and like maybe show up for the QM event this fall!

 

[carter]

Bonnie,

I know it is difficult for you and Harry having your son away in military training. But, it does get easier. Just remember that those quiet moments when you miss him the most are also a time to remember that he has joined a long line of men and women who have served their country both honorably and well,

I know how my Mom felt when I left for Basic Training and AIT and Jump School and Overseas duty.
She felt the same way when my brother left for Naval Training and when he shipped out to Cuba.

But we were OK. We had a lot of good men and women at our sides and the prayers of folks back home. And...we were doing what needed to be done. It's an honor to serve one's country and I salute those who serve today.

Be proud of him, keep him in your thoughts and prayers, you'll always remember your boy, and you'll celebrate the man he has become.

All best wishes and you're all in my prayers.

Carter

 

[Mid-fogey]

Speaking from an old...

...military family. Let youself be a little blue and don't feel bad about it. Accept that you'll get used to it but it will take time.

When you know what you are permitted do, send letters, care packages, etc. Putting them together will make you feel better and closer to you young one.

Don't worry.

 

[RondoHatton]

You sound like great folks

Wish I might've had a bit of pedagogy from you instead of ... Well, you guys sound like great parents, with a wonderful son. God bless and keep him (and all America's sons and daughters in the services) safe and well and moving forward. Congratulations. Be strong. These days I like that quote about "...of all the liars in the world, fear can be the worst..." or something to that effect. I wish I had some genuine advice. Aside from pets, I have never had children. Well, the ex's two teenagers were not quite human either, your son can have 'em for wheel chocks on the tarmac!

 

[BonnieJean]

Airman update

Big Man and others, here's an update on my son.
I've spoken with him on the phone several times and he sounds real positive. Its challenging to say the least, but he likes what he's doing. He should be completing his "Warrior Week" today. That's where they go out in the wilderness and camp, do gun training, etc. (I saw a photo of their "wilderness camp" at the recruiter's office and its pretty lame camping compared to the survival camping he's done in Boy Scouts. John is also an Eagle Scout, so this week should be fun for him.)

Some of the 'chores' he's done in the dorm is "Sweeper" (that's obvious, he's in charge of sweeping the floor.) and "End of Bunk Display". I'm not exactly sure what they're 'displaying' at the foot of their beds, but it has to be set up exactly to the Air Force's specifications. He's in charge of making sure all 30 beds on his side of the dorm are set up right. He told me that he has to go on the other side of the dorm wall and double check that guy's work because, as John puts it, "He doesn't do it right". Apparently, if someone screws up they all pay for it. He's always been a good 'team player', so this isn't hard for him.

He was still working on getting his shirts folded and rolled up right. But I think all the Airmen realize that they can't do anything right according to their Training Instructors!

John says the food is good, but the eggs at breakfast are terrible. They call them "yellow styrofoam".

The job he wants to go into is SERE (Survival,Evasion,Resistance,Escape) Instructor and he'll do the final physical testing for that next week. He told me that he knows his what he needs to work on to get the right scores/times. He's his own man now and makes his own decisions and lives with the consequences of the decisions. (See how I've come to accept all this from what I was feeling when he first left?)

His dad and I are very proud of him because we know what it took to just get him IN the Air Force and now he's got to prove it to himself. The last phone call I had from John he was excited because he had just got his "Blues" and would be getting his name tag.

He'll be graduating in a couple of weeks and his dad and I will be traveling to Texas to watch the ceremonies. I'd be glad to pass along his mailing address but by PM-ing me. I don't really want it broadcast on the worldwide web.

I've written John almost every day and end each letter with "Mom's Words of Wisdom" -- Funny words of wisdom to live by. I know he's appreciated all the letters. He doesn't think he'll get any leave until after he completes his technical training, but once he's done with basic, then we'll be able to communicate easier and I can send those nice care packages.

Thanks again for all the encouragement and I can truly say that most of my mother's tears have dried and I have nothing but pride and admiration for my Airman!

 

[carter]

Bonnie,

John already has a leg up as an Eagle Scout.

You know how hard he worked and the effort it took for him to reach the rank of Eagle. He's one of the 3% or less that actually achieve that rank in Scouting.

Having served as a Scout Master for 3 years and seen two of our Eagle Scouts go on to West Point and Annapolis, I can tell you that he is in the company of some fine young men.

As you mentioned, he's a team player. That is one of the finest attributes a serviceman can have. He's also chosen a challenging speciality.

John is "his own man" because that's the man you raised him to be. Bravo! :eusa_clap

 

[Dan G]

Know that your mail means a great deal to your son. Whether or not he tells you. It's a real drag when you're the only one that doesn't get mail at night. It sounds like he's getting plenty though, must have a good mom.

Soon he'll be on to bigger and better things, or at least more fun. You'll hear from him more regularly, and things will seem more normal. He'll make a lot of friends, and meet a lot of dirt bags.lol

Sounds like you've done an excellent job raising him.

Dan

 

[CanadaDoll]

Best wishes to him for his training, and a big hug to you Bonnie Jean, you must miss him terribly. I'm sure he'll do splendidly.

 

[nubsnubs]

I am an Air Force guy myself, and currently deployed to the middle east. I have never regretted my decision to join. The Air Force has taken care of me and my family, and I have been able to see and do things I would have never imagined. Let me tell you this, and I mean no offense to those in other branches, the Air Force is by far the most comfortable of all the services, and I am sure your son is going into a prosperous career field. You should be very proud of him. Should he end up near Edwards AFB, let me know, I'll look him up. Thank your son for me.

 

[nubsnubs]

Ohh yeah. I completely understand the yellow styrofoam, and the best of luck to him regarding SERE. That is a very respected group of airmen. I know a couple, and they have a hell of a fun job.

 

[BonnieJean]

Another Airman update

Thanks, nubsnubs. My son has always admired the Air Force and its traditions.

He sent me a brief email yesterday saying he completed his Warrior Week. He didn't particularly care for the gas chamber but really liked the obstacle course and he got expert Marksman. He'll be graduating with 3 ribbons on his blues for that. He also has had his Flight photo taken as well as his individual Blues photos. He told me he ordered a DVD of pics and videos of his flight's time in basic, a yearbook and other stuff and even a ring too! I know he's proud to be in the Air Force and I'm an even prouder Air Force mom!

Ever since he was a young boy, he was always my adventurer. He would play football with kids 3X his size and stay tough even if he got hurt a bit. I have no doubt he'll do the Air Force proud. The SERE training will be tough, but if anyone can do it, my John can!

Just a couple more weeks and I'll be seeing my grown son/Airman!

 

[nubsnubs]

Sounds like he is doing great so far. The first week is always the hardest. After that is is just a bit of mind games and a routine to get into. I am glad to hear you are so proud. It is a difficult time to join the military, what with the controversy regarding all the conflicts in the world, but it is important and he is doing something very honorable. Your support will mean the world to him. It did for me... and still does. So long as he keeps his reporting statement straight and steers clear of the snake pit (where the instructors sit during chow) then the rest will blow by without a problem. By the way, what job did he originally sign up for?