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My Search for a Mate is Confined to my Sock Drawer

PastimeSteve

One of the Regulars
Messages
162
Location
Colorado
scotrace said:
I gave up dating 16 years ago. It just got unreasonably complex after getting married. lol

lol lol

Gosh, I'd be lost out there if I had to date again. Heck, I'd just retire and fall in love with a '65 Vette. ;)
 

scotrace

Head Bartender
Staff member
Messages
14,392
Location
Small Town Ohio, USA
GoldLeaf said:
I eventually sorted through my issues, and attracted the right kind of guy: my husband. He is kind, generous, loving, thoughtful, self-sacrificing, gentle, funny, I could go on an on. He is a wonderful human being that I am proud to be married to, and proud to be the future mother to his children. He will be an amazing father, and I can't wait to see him with our baby.


I think he will absolutely burst if you let him see this. it's very beautiful.
 

gluegungeisha

Practically Family
Messages
648
Location
Albuquerque, New Mexico
Before resolving a lot of my insecurities, I attracted jerks left and right. I was still really selective, but a few would slip under my radar.

My first long-term relationship tried to cheat on me with my friends, who were decent enough to tell me what was going on.

The guy I recently broke up with after two years was way worse -- when he treated me badly, I would pull away from him, naturally. He would use that reaction to try to convince me (and anyone who would listen, including his other girlfriends) that I was cold, fake and didn't care about him. Oy vey. He constantly criticized my interests, my passions and eventually my appearance. The more he hurt me, the more I tried to please him, and that was exactly what he wanted.

Talk about trying to repair unresolved inner and family conflicts...They say a [heterosexual] woman goes for either her father, or the complete opposite. Well, that was my father, and now I'm looking for his complete opposite.

I haven't dated anyone else for almost a year now. I'm trying to focus on what I want more than what I'm trying to avoid. I would like someone who understands what I'm talking about at least some of the time (and will add to a conversation as well), and someone with strong moral standards and self-discipline.
 

gluegungeisha

Practically Family
Messages
648
Location
Albuquerque, New Mexico
I eventually sorted through my issues, and attracted the right kind of guy: my husband. He is kind, generous, loving, thoughtful, self-sacrificing, gentle, funny, I could go on an on. He is a wonderful human being that I am proud to be married to, and proud to be the future mother to his children. He will be an amazing father, and I can't wait to see him with our baby.

I'm glad you found someone who is worthy of your love. That is so sweet!
 

PastimeSteve

One of the Regulars
Messages
162
Location
Colorado
gluegungeisha said:
I haven't dated anyone else for almost a year now. I'm trying to focus on what I want more than what I'm trying to avoid. I would like someone who understands what I'm talking about at least some of the time (and will add to a conversation as well), and someone with strong moral standards and self-discipline.

Note to all single men who have their stuff together in the New Mexico area -- this amazing lady will not be available long! Go, go, go!

Steve
 

TheKitschGoth

A-List Customer
Messages
407
Location
Brighton, UK
My epiphany was when my last relationship ended and my best friend said it was good to have me being myself again :(

So now I'm doing my own thing, learning to love myself again, and having a lot more fun than I've had in my past relationships.
 

Amy Jeanne

Call Me a Cab
Messages
2,858
Location
Colorado
GoldLeaf said:
I don't! That is an unfair generalization :) I dated some idiots in my time, but I had my own issues. I was an unhappy, insecure, needy person that was grateful when anyone paid me any attention. I thought the scum were the only guys I deserved, and so those were the ones I attracted.

I eventually sorted through my issues, and attracted the right kind of guy: my husband. He is kind, generous, loving, thoughtful, self-sacrificing, gentle, funny, I could go on an on. He is a wonderful human being that I am proud to be married to, and proud to be the future mother to his children. He will be an amazing father, and I can't wait to see him with our baby.

It could be that the women you are thinking of have their own issues that they never sorted through, or sorted through after marrying the scum. It isn't some ingrained quality in women that we want jerks. :)

You and I might be the same person and we might be married to the same guy!! lol
 

GoldLeaf

A-List Customer
Messages
412
Location
Central NC
gluegungeisha said:
The guy I recently broke up with after two years was way worse -- when he treated me badly, I would pull away from him, naturally. He would use that reaction to try to convince me (and anyone who would listen, including his other girlfriends) that I was cold, fake and didn't care about him. Oy vey. He constantly criticized my interests, my passions and eventually my

Glue, I dated a guy much like that. I am sorry you had to experience a relationship like that. I am glad, though, that you aren't dating him anymore :) You are a unique and beautiful individual, just being yourself will serve you quite well :)

And thanks to all for your kind comments about my hubby (or what I wrote about my hubby :)). I tell him often how I feel about him, so I hope he wouldn't have to read my post for him to know how much I love him. However, hearing it again always feels good, so I will show him my post :)

Amy- Yay for us!!
 

Tommy Fedora

One of the Regulars
Messages
248
Location
NJ/NYC
I feel bad for all of you that are going through life without someone special to share the good times and the bad. For me, I don't think I could do it alone. I always thought of myself as a loner, someone who would travel and see the world. But in the end, I didn't want to make the trip alone.
October I will be celebrating my 33rd year of marriage to a woman who deserves better. I think I'll buy her a flower on the way home tonight.
 
Holy Crimony! There seems to be a lot of discord out there concerning relationships. :eusa_doh:
Geez, I wouldn't know what to do if I wasn't married. Best 11 years of my life. :eusa_clap :eusa_clap :eusa_clap
I doubt I could ever go out and try to find someone now. :eusa_doh:

Regards,

J
 

Polka Dot

A-List Customer
Messages
364
Location
Mass.
Honestly, I can't stand that line that my (happily partnered) friends feed me: "You'll find him when you least expect it!"
 

Paisley

I'll Lock Up
Messages
5,439
Location
Indianapolis
And then there's the line: you'll find someone when you're not looking! I've been "not looking" for years.

I guess it's just as well that I'm single. I can't think of anyone I've ever known that I wish I were married to now.

I trust my brother and mom when they say that I'm better off single. They've both been married long enough to know.
 

Paisley

I'll Lock Up
Messages
5,439
Location
Indianapolis
jamespowers said:
Geez, I wouldn't know what to do if I wasn't married. Best 11 years of my life. :eusa_clap :eusa_clap :eusa_clap

Regards,

J

How long have you been married?

(I couldn't resist.:) )
 

TheKitschGoth

A-List Customer
Messages
407
Location
Brighton, UK
Tommy Fedora said:
I feel bad for all of you that are going through life without someone special to share the good times and the bad.

Oh but we're not. I've got the most amazing friends and a wonderful family. To want any more would be greedy :)
 

gluegungeisha

Practically Family
Messages
648
Location
Albuquerque, New Mexico
Tommy Fedora said:
I feel bad for all of you that are going through life without someone special to share the good times and the bad. For me, I don't think I could do it alone. I always thought of myself as a loner, someone who would travel and see the world. But in the end, I didn't want to make the trip alone.
October I will be celebrating my 33rd year of marriage to a woman who deserves better. I think I'll buy her a flower on the way home tonight.

Wow, what a lucky wife you have! That's amazing.
 

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