My Mother Says...

[23SkidooWithYou]

My Mom...

I don't think she has really ever commented on what I wear or how I look so much as how long it takes me to get ready. That was a constant battle! "You don't need 20 minutes in the shower. Throw some clothes on and lets go. You just washed your hair yesterday. You're only going to the store, you don't need makeup."

My Grandmother commented more on clothing but she had very specific triggers. Satin, especially if it was gathered or pleated, would earn you, "Looks like the inside of a casket!" Bows on the backs of dresses always prompted, "Well, you have little to do wearing a bow on your backside!" (meaning my butt was big enough already)

On the other hand, whenever I went shopping, I always stopped at Gram's first so she could see what I purchased. So long as I fudged the price a little lower, she would ooh and awww. Once, I colored my hair dark auburn and when I stepped out of the salon my Gram said, "Well you look like a Davitt now." That was the supreme compliment.

I tailored my Goth phase to fit so it wasn't as extreme. My hair was pitch black and I did bleach a white streak in the front. I remember wearing a pretty hat to my cousin's graduation so it was covered and family was happy. I've always tried to put my look into perspective for my family..."At least it's not a mohawk." "Yeah, but I can take a belly button ring out if I want and it's not like I got a tattoo." Then the following year, "I know it's a tattoo but it's not anywhere people will see it."

Now, with the vintage thing, my Mom is just creeped out that these things once belonged to someone. "Ewwww...you're buying people's used things." However, she just saw me in my yummy navy suit and she had to admit it was better than anything in a store. She still thinks I won't wear the crinoline with my other dresses. My cousins tried on my boudoir caps at Thanksgiving and somebody said, "Uh...do you think these belonged to dead people?" I did some quick math for them and they answered the question themselves, lol.

Edit: Just remembered, during the Goth phase I used Ultima II rice powder for extreme white skin. My uncle always wanted to know if I was performing in Kabuki Theater! LOL

 

[Mojito]

My Mum is very supportive and really interested in my collection of vintage clothes. She's always asking me to send photos of the last thing I did or what I've been buying as she lives half the world away from me. I don't dress vintage everyday - when I do I like to go for the whole look, top to toe.

I've always been interested in older styles of clothing so it's come as no surprise to my mum that I'm still interested now! She was always very into fashion, colours and style herself so perhaps I inherited it from her. Funnily enough, she was always trying to get me to wear lipstick when I was younger: "You look so pale - put some lipstick/blusher on!" lol

I bought her a lovely 1920s dress and matching beaded handbag for the Art Deco Weekend in New Zealand and she was thrilled with it. She kept saying "It's so beautiful!" and "It's just fabulous!" I think it helped that it's red, one of her favourite colours! Here's a pic of her:

My mum too, MissSis! And she's acquired a vintage wardrobe for our trips to Napier. She's wonderful and innovative with restoration work on the 1920s dresses, and is always trawling through the haberdashers and op shops to find pieces she can use for repairs.

It's actually done her a lot of good. A stunningly beautiful woman when young - and still gorgeous - she never really believed she was attractive. In recent years, she'd channelled all her energies into her children and grandchildren, and didn't do much with hair or makeup or even clothes except for special occasions. I bought her a MAC makeover before Napier a couple of years ago and sent my BFF with her to advise, and she absolutely loved it - she has quite a collection of makeup and uses it.

Here she is on the left:

 

[Miss Sis]

Mojito, your mum looked great in all the lovely outfits in Napier. I'm looking out now for more bits for my Mum to add to her Deco wardrobe. She loves dressing up!

It is nice to share that with her. I'm really sorry for the ladies whose mothers are not supportive. It must be very difficult.

 

[C-dot]

Mojito, you and your mum look lovely! Miss Sis, your mum is very pretty too.

I'd love to be able to share that with my mum. She dresses like a potato sack all the time, so I doubt I'll ever be able to. How ironic is it that when she wants to look nice, she comes to me for her hair, make-up, and outfits? lol

 

[Miss 1929]

Luckily, my parents raised me to be an individual, so they never blink an eye at anything I choose to wear, do or say. They love me, not my clothes.

This thread is about 3/4 really sad, and 1/4 really sweet.

 

[Lillemor]

Wow! Your mothers look fantastic.

 

[Claireg]

Hey cool photos of the Napier weekend - I must attend that next year!

My poor mum is very worried about my 24/7 vintage project as part of it i will be staying with her in Warkworth - a small country town!
She has been concerned that people might point and laugh and bring the family into disrepute - not sure how!!
But then again she is always in awe of how whenever we are out and I am wearing vintage i get lots of compliments about my clothes, she laughs and says - to think that you get comments from something that cost you a few dollars at a thrift shop, instead of when you are wearing something new that cost a fortune.
I think I can win her round over xmas - we will have a good laugh!

 

[Mojito]

Do let me know if you're going to Napier next Feb, Claireg - we've already booked our accommodation and events

Glad you liked the photo, C-Dot! (That's not me in the photo with my mother, but rather a very dear friend who is like a sister to me and a daughter to her). You never know, though - I wouldn't have imagined my mother would get so into the vintage herself, so perhaps your mother's interest in tips is just the start?

MissSis, I realised that when I wrote that last note that I neglected to mention how fabulous your mother looks! It goes without saying, of course, but I'd just like to say I think she looks sensational I've got a new wardrobe for Sandra this time around.

 

[amynbebes]

Fortunately my mom has always been (minus my old eyebrow piercing) very supportive. She never said a cross word about my punk stage, blue hair, safety pins in ripped fishnets, etc. Now she compliments me when I'm in a dress and heels I think it's mostly from her being a teen/young adult in the "hippie" era and knowing that expressing yourself via clothing and outward appearance is a cool thing.

 

[Avalon]

My mother has never been anything but supportive, even when I was going through my flannel-ridden grunge phase. lol She loves the vintage look though - even though I don't do it 100% she really likes the little touches and accoutrements. I am very, very lucky.

 

[Lindabelle]

I am really happy to say that my mum has started to appreciate my vintage interests. We are currently working on making a dress together from a vintage pattern. She said she is enjoying it. I see her every Saturday and we work on the dress. I think she is now under the vintage spell. Yaay.

 

[bunny chan]

Fortunatly my mother likes me as I am always.
Her comments are: "you're so gorgeus!", or "you're beautyful", or something like that...she doesn't like my tattoo, of course, and I don't think she liked my goth-dark period (many of us went through this I saw !), but she never make me feel like I was ugly...
She never criticized, preferring to remain silent...

B.

 

[Viola]

My mom teases me about being girlier and more old-fashioned than she, and cracks about "little housewives in cardigans and pearls" but she's not mean and she bought me a bunch of darling cardigans and sweaters for the holidays! Really carefully chosen, too, I could tell. It's not her style but she's sweet about it being mine.

 

[Claireg]

Do let me know if you're going to Napier next Feb, Claireg - we've already booked our accommodation and events

OOO I think I will! i will definilty let you know.
Anyone else on here coming? We should post on the events thing. We could have a fedora lounge meet up - a rare event I gather here in little ol NZ!

 

[Miss Sis]

I was there last year, Claire, but can't make it back this year.

If you're wanting to go better check accomodation first. It's *really* popular and difficult to find anything last minute. I met up with Mojito last year which was lovely. I think my Mum will be going again next year but I'm not sure.

Be sure to check the Events/Steamer Trunk for past pics!

 

[jasmynskyes]

Unfortunately my mother has also passed on but if she were around, she'd be amused. I first got into vintage in high school and my mother thought it was kinda funny that I was into girdles, stockings and garters since they were such a pain when she *had* to wear them. My mother never really interfered with what I wore. I wore nothing but skirts for two years as a child and she never had anything bad to say about it. My mother also made a lot of my clothes when I was growing up and, being from a not affluent family, we did a lot of thrift store shopping. As long as what I wore wasn't trashy, she had no problems with what I wore and even enabled my whims when when she could. I think she would have probably gotten a kick out of it and would have helped me get my look down.

 

[Ruby Red]

My mom doesn't really comment on my style or my hair. I think she appreciates it at least somewhat though...? There was one instance when she told me I looked nice- I had dressed up to the nines in a Trashy Diva dress, mink stole, and fancy hair for a night out on my birthday last august. Otherwise, It's a little odd to elicit zero response when I come home with victory rolls piled high.

My grandparents, on the other hand, seem to love it and encourage the clothing and hair.

 

[rue]

bump

My mother was talking to me today about the fact that I want a percolator and then proceeded to tell me that she thinks I'm losing my mind with all this 40s stuff. Now never mind that I have always been an antique collector and so has she and that I have always lived an unconventional life (housewife), but now that I changed to eating non-processed foods and making things from scratch and started wearing (in her words) all those 'I love Lucy dresses' that the neighbors must think I'm nuts. I have a collection of 2 dresses that are in a mid to late 40s style and one 50s vintage dress that I only wear out to dinner or special occasions, because I can't afford to go out and buy an entire wardrobe right this minute, but I wear jeans rolled with converse or saddle shoes every day. Does that say crazy?? I know y'all don't think so obviously, but what is the deal? To top it off she always brings up my "unfortunate Titanic faze". I didn't wear edwardian gowns for God's sake, I just copied her hair, but they act like I walked around with the bagpipes playing 24/7. I've been into this whole thing for all my life, but it took being 40 to give me the courage to dress the part. I told her that it's not anything that unusual in the fact that you can buy clothes right this minute that look like the era and she should be happy that I care about my appearance and don't chose to wears PJs in public instead.

Sorry... I just had to vent.

 

[RockyHorror]

My mother is really supportive of me! My sister and I are both a little different, but we both have great style which my mother appreciates. When she doesn't like or approve of something I'm wearing she'll say something like "OOOH MY! Well. The top is nice...". She's really pretty nice to me though. That said, she thinks corsets are horrifying and repressive, and she can't wrap her head around the idea of wanting to wear a girdle.

 

[TillyMilly]

I think my Mum has similar oppinions to a lot of the other Mothers

Before I comment about my Mum in particular I need to give you a bit of background: My Mum (64) is of Irish stock- it seems like the potato famine stunted our height - we are all about 5foot but it's like our bodies have been compressed and need to be stretched out a bit- the curves are too sharp- not tapered. My mum in particular has a lovely hourglass figure but her ribcage is large and goes straight into her tiny waist and then straight out again into her hips- no taper so anything nipped in at the waist looks strange, even though she has an hourglass figure. She has always loved the 20's shift dresses and tall elegant 1930's beauty icons with slender boy-is figures and disliked her own curvy but slender frame- so most of her aesthetics are based built around this. She absolutely loved the 70's re-working of the 30's and it was her happiest time in life , as a young radiant mother. She dresses kind of smart Boho now (scaled to her petite frame)

So anyway here is what she thinks:
- stockings are horrible, uncomfortable. (though my Dad loves them) and you couldn't wear them with mini skirts when she was a teenager.
- her first bra was a stiff bullet bra that was uncomfortable
- her mother made her wear a girdle which was uncomfortable and a corselets which hurt her ribs
-she has a 'thing' about looking elegant not being leered at by men
-She dislikes art deco furniture (especially 'cheap' art deco)and 1940's/50's clothing as she associated it with 'old fashioned' when she was growing up
-she likes her figure better now that she has no body fat left and her bottom has disappeared

Heres what she tells me:
- I MUST wear BRIGHT red lipstick (she loves my Dad's Snow white colouring and likes it if I play that up) and that I look terrible in dark lipstick (I do but I do wear it sometimes)
- I'm crazy for wearing uncomfortable clothing- corsets (the though of which makes her feel physically sick- due to her pronounced ribcage), girdles etc.
-she doesn't like anything overtly sexy- skirts should flow and move , not be tight (but long flowing skirts and wide leg trousers only look good if you have the height to make the fabric flow)
-She hates my tattoos and piercings (even though she was a beatnik in her youth)
-she hates my hair long and likes it in a bob as it's so thin and lacking in body it just hangs when it's long
-she hated my hippie-phase as she said that I looked like I threw the contents of the clothes hamper on- I agree now.
-she dislikes the fact that I like my round and pert J-lo bum- she thinks it sticks out too much (my Dad loved hers when she had one though)
-she doesn't like it when I put on weight- or if I loose too much.
-she wishes I'd 'fit in' more (ex-Goth here too) so she wouldn’t have to worry about me having a hard time so much.

Heres what my Dad thinks:

- I wish your Mum would wear: red lipstick, stockings, lingerie, corsets, pencil skirts, satin dresses, chiffon blouses etc. etc. He just loves Sofia Loren and her sexy style.