Motherhood & the Vintage Lifestyle

[rubyredlocks]

I've been entranced by the look and lifestyle of past eras for the last 10 years,but now wonder how to fit my obsession into my new role as a mother.
Hate to admit that with pregnancy I have pretty much given up the look for now.With morning sickness I no longer felt like setting my hair and when worn longer it looks best set,so off it went.Changed my color to a richer auburn,because I don't have to color it as often.Trying to find maternity-wear with retro appeal has been disheartening and even more so since I've gotten bigger I've noticed a complete lack of balance when wearing heels,so flats it is.
Here's a pic of the modern me,belly and all.I'm already huge and only at the half way point.

And I'm completely BORED by the change already,lol!
So,my question to all the other Moms out there is when do you find the time for yourself?
I can't imagine that with a newborn that needs to be fed every 2 hours that I'll have the time or energy to roll my hair,perfectly apply my makeup,and step into garters with stockings.
Perhaps, a more relaxed casual version of the eras I love til the baby is in his toddler years?
The realization hit me that even though I'm about to become a mother it doesn't have to be my whole identity.

 

[Honey Doll]

The baby years are challenging!

I have a 4 year old and a 2 year old. Honestly, I take better care of myself now then pre-baby. I think its pretty essential to my self-esteem to feel put together and personally maintained and not be in the mama-funk. For me I really need to still feel feminine and grown up and not just like someone's mom.

I try to stay organized--and establish night time routines, not just for the kids, but myself as well. After the kids are in bed, I have a streamlined workout I do on alternate nights. I usually bathe at night and set my hair so that I'm not cramping my morning too much. Pick out what I want to wear at night as well.

Early babyhood is hard to manage with nice clothing, b/c my kids were spitty, snotty and not dry clean friendly. (I say this with love ). I really kept it pretty wash-and-wear as much as possible. Just post baby I wore alot of sweater sets, washable slacks with forgiving waists. (I actually pick up quite a bit at NY & Co and Target that I mix in still). I would probably look for modern clothes that have a classic feel, are comfortable and wash well until you are thru the messier stages. I saved dry-cleanables and actual vintage for date nights....and insist on a date night monthly!

I find maternity clothes aways look cute and the selection is just amazing-- unless you are the one in need of them.

Honey Doll

 

[Paisley]

This reminds me of the song that goes, "Don't send him off with your hair up in curlers, you may not see him again....Dim all the lights, comb your hair, fix your makeup, time to get ready for love."

 

[mysterygal]

My tips

Try to keep your routine as easy as possible for awhile. Especially after the baby comes, I've found it took me a good 3 months to get into a normal groove again!
Since your hair is short, that will save time! Find simple dresses/ slacks and blouses that are easy to wear and comfortable. Especially while breastfeeding, comfortable is a good thing! As you get more confident, you can start adding stuff to your wardrobe. Hats are great for completing a look and so is jewelry.

 

[RetroMom]

First, Congratulations!!!

Now, for what it's worth, here is this "veteran" mom of 4's advice.

Having children is a huge lifestyle change, but just because you are no longer putting yourself and your needs first, doesn't mean you shouldn't take care of yourself! Little things, like wearing your favorite perfume or lipstick, can keep up your moral and make you feel pretty! Even if you take a "hiatus" from full vintage, you can still incorporate things into your daily routine.

When I had my first (he's almost 13 now ), I wore my hair in a classic page boy that was easily styled with hot rollers. On "bad hair days" of which there were many, I wore my hair in a snood and just curled the front. I streamlined my beauty routine to just the essentials, but always a nice red lipstick, vintage inspired clothes that were wash and wear, like twinsets, cotton blouses, housedresses and shifts. By the time I had my twins (they are 9 now ), I was wiped out every day and vintage styles went by the wayside until they were able to sleep through the night and entertain themselves, then I was able to start setting my hair again, doing my nails and giving more thought to what I wore. By the time #4 came along (he is almost 5 now), I took it in stride and stuck to the beauty routine I had down and was finally able to wear "Dry Clean Only" again

Just do what you can, when you can. The beauty of vintage is it will still be there when you are ready to get back to it!

 

[Miss Dottie]

I'm not a mom yet, but I think you look absolutely darling in your little black dress and sassy cowboy boots.

I remember my pregnant friend who couldn't fit into anything. ANYTHING--so she splurged on a gorgeous purse.

It's the little things that help pull you though.

 

[Elaina]

LOL, my husband and I actually discussed this a while ago. My solution: if I have a girl, she's going to be stuck looking like a 1950's little kid (I'll refrain from soapboxing the little hoochie mamma clothes out for children now).

We also discussed me getting time to myself so I can feel better about how I look. Which translated to he would be with the baby for a couple hours so I could bathe, primp and otherwise frilly it up to my heart's content. And gives him some time with the baby too. I can't breastfeed, so I don't have to worry with it.

When I had mine, I was going through a divorce and was a single mom. After my son was born, I incorporated him into my routine, I just took showers over baths. Then while I was getting makeup on and hair combed (before I took off for the 10 hours at McDonald's management) it became my son's and my quiet alone time. He's spent many hours in the bathroom with me telling me I look wonderful. Now that he's 7, my husband (not his father) finds it very odd my son likes to sit on my bed with me in a robe and slip (which he finds even odder that I allow my son to see me half dressed) while I sit at the dressing table doing the same thing. It's still my son's and my quiet alone time, he just gets kicked out so I can get dressed, but likes to be in the room when I put my perfume on.

So in a nutshell, my time for myself I share with my son. He has my attention to talk about whatever he wants to talk about, he gets to see what women go through to look nice for someone (which teaches him he can't be a slob), and I get a good ego boost (your man is nice to tell you you're beautiful, but there is nothing like hearing your child say with such purity "Wow mommy! You look bee-oo-ti-ful!"). I also never sacrificed my own personal style to be a mother, I included my son in my personal style (forgive this too, I don't mean it as bad as it sounds) and made him an accessory to me. We have Mommy/son date night where we dress up, go out to dinner, and it's just the 2 of us. We started that when he was 6 weeks old. So even when I'm just around the house in slacks and a blouse, we still have that one time a month where we dress to the nines and have a fun evening.

When I was pregnant, I also started wearing aprons (I'm not graceful to begin with, they became a necessity with my then 3 year old sister around at that time) and while she wasn't colthes friendly, the aprons were a good way to shoot some color and style into my day. And when my sister or son got it dirty, I could change it for another piece of fluff and wash that one.

I've also found that for me, I need to look like I'm properly put together or nothing gets done. Like today: I haven't gotten out of my boxershorts and have my corset on. I haven't gotten dressed, and consequently, not a darn thing got done around here today. My bed's unmade, my son's nightclothes are still on the bathroom floor with my husband's nightclothes kicked into the corner, breakfast dishes are still in the sink, my cats need to be walked, I have ironing that needs to be done, and forget about dinner. But that's just me. So sorry for being long winded ont his one!

 

[rubyredlocks]

Oh ladies,you have all made me feel so much better! I am very much enjoying reading your responses.My concern(and my hubby admitted it is his as well) has been losing my personal indentity to become "Mom".Granted this is a major lifestyle change and we are very much looking forward to the adventure,but we did question if it would be possible to maintain our vintageness.
I do think going with a more casual retro look will be the way to go.I'm a sucker for sweaters and sweater sets anyway,so I loved everyones suggestions of looking for wash-n-wear modern pieces with a vintage flair.

Elaina-I absolutely love your suggestion of including our son in our lifestyle and the mommy/son date night.I've already started researching online for items of the vintage persuasion for kids.Well,we did already start with his name which is after the author Dashiell Hammet,we'll call him Dash which makes me think of the 50s.Hmmm...I think there might have been a band "Dash and the (can't remember what)".

 

[rubyredlocks]

Ms.Dottie-Thanks so much for the compliment.I have to admit the fun boots and pink purse do make me feel better.

 

[Sunny]

After my son was born, I incorporated him into my routine, I just took showers over baths. Then while I was getting makeup on and hair combed (before I took off for the 10 hours at McDonald's management) it became my son's and my quiet alone time. He's spent many hours in the bathroom with me telling me I look wonderful. Now that he's 7, my husband (not his father) finds it very odd my son likes to sit on my bed with me in a robe and slip (which he finds even odder that I allow my son to see me half dressed) while I sit at the dressing table doing the same thing.

Elaina, that is so wonderful. It reminds me that I used to watch my own mother put her makeup on. I'm not meaning to sound really nostalgic; this was in the mid- to late- 80s! But something about it fascinated me. We didn't really talk much; neither my mother nor I are much for small talk. But I still remember watching her.

 

[Elaina]

Well, before 5 they're totally under your control, and boys clothes don't change much. I let him be more modern with Hawaiian shirts and slacks (something he still wears a lot of), and making him more vintage then rap artist isn't too hard.

I don't make small talk either. My son talk I "mhmm. Yea. Ok" mostly while he rambles on. Now, if you'd like to discuss the finer philosophical points of Transformers, I can happily oblige.

 

[rubyredlocks]

"Now, if you'd like to discuss the finer philosophical points of Transformers, I can happily oblige."by Elaina.

This cracks me up,because I know I'll be right there with you in a few years.lol

 

[Ccc]

As the mother of 6, with little time for myself, I'd advise you to begin now to simplify your life as much as possible. Set up a routine you can live with and survive without feeling too frustrated by constant interruption. Rest as much as possible, accept help graciously and love yourself. Even though you will be the baby's whole world for quite a while, you can still prioritize little things to do for yourself which help you remain connected with the world, and not feel isolated. I love my life as a mother and wife, but I greatly enjoy the chance to read through postings to The Powder Room and correspond with everyone.

Take care!

 

[ohairas]

Ruby I think you look adorbable! Everyone has given great advice.

I just loved being pregnant. But I know exactly what you mean by wanting to keep up on the beauty regimines after baby comes. I love Elaina's apron suggestion, wish I had thought of that as I have tons of them!

I found that Nova's needs definately came first of course, but also that I got so into looking for vintage things for him. I had some of my husband's baby clothes and some of my dad's, so cool. So, while I was worried about my appearance, having a new baby kept me occupied enough the first few months not to worry so much about it.

Don't be afraid to get out and get your hair set at a beauty school or something, you can feed the baby while your hair is being set or drying. Allow yourself to be pampered.

Perhaps invest in a wig or fall to throw on when you just don't have time... and some great hats too. Your avitar is so cute with the scarf in your hair, I would go with that a lot!

Usually after breakfast I leave him in his highchair and give him a toy while I do my face. (our bath is right off the kitchen.) But he's getting old enough he will stay in there with me now. And those little vibrating seats were great when he was younger to just set on the floor next to me.
I HIGHLY suggest a BUMBO seat for when they can sit up by themselves, look em up on ebay! I took it everywhere!

Best wishes and congratulations!

Nikki

 

[ohairas]

Belly cast and photos

Ruby I also wanted to encourage you to take some photos of your full term pregnancy and make a belly cast, it was so much fun!

Here's my prego pic in vintage clothing,
http://new.photos.yahoo.com/ohairas/album/576460762343338487/photo/294928803642673559/44

And my bellycast,
http://new.photos.yahoo.com/ohairas/album/576460762343338487/photo/294928803642670287/34

I bought my supplies at Michael's craft store, but here's a site,
http://www.proudbody.com/bellycastgallery.htm

Nikki

 

[rubyredlocks]

Ohairas-You must have been reading my mind,since we were discussing to do pics or not at my salon today.I hadn't planned on it and quite a few ladies thought I should.
Your pic is very lovely and I'd like to do something similar.

 

[Miss Sis]

Elaina, that is so wonderful. It reminds me that I used to watch my own mother put her makeup on. I'm not meaning to sound really nostalgic; this was in the mid- to late- 80s! But something about it fascinated me. We didn't really talk much; neither my mother nor I are much for small talk. But I still remember watching her.

I think anyone who used to sit with their Mum watching her get ready remembers it fondly. It was just 'Mum and Me' time which was sweet. I used to love it as she let me play with her bangles and scarves at the same time.

 

[fleur]

When my daughter is home from school she is always with me when I am getting ready either to go out or just go out!

In fact I watch her also trying out her make up!

The best compliment however is hearing your daughter say to her co-performers at her Italia Conti dancing show "thats my mum over there. She always looks like that. I think she is beautiful"

I also had many comments on was I going out blah blah blah - people just dont get that I do this every day!

The good thing is it is rubbing off on her. Apart from her dance wear she doesnt own a pair of jeans and simply refuses to wear trousers!

So it does and can mix and be very rewarding too

 

[Elaina]

My son just went through my patterns a few days ago and dragged over a 1940's buy's play suit (trousers and jacket) and said "Mom, can I do this in denim?" He had a more hip hop cloth in mind (blue denim with a green sheen to it. !! ) then I would make it, so we sat down, carefully took all the pieces out and more carefully looked at the directions.

I really don't see why we can't do it. I'm not fond of the fabric choice, but he has a definite idea of his own sense of style, and it's always nice looking. Many kids who have parents that look nice will dress nicer themselves, and he thiks nothing of what era the pattern is from, to him it's all about stylin' in green.

 

[Shimmy Sally]

You look marv. Low heels are the way to go for now. You don't want to have a fall.
The roaring 20's style is easy while you are pregnant. Not the full-out flapper thing, but the everyday wear; long hemline, boxy shape, dropped waist, cocoon coats, etc. Just an idea.
When you have a newborn or toddler, it's like magic to get a shower everyday I imagine we all agree with you that care of your kids (or-kid-to-be) should take priority over setting your hair. You get a free pass.