Shaul-Ike Cohen
One Too Many
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When I was looking for a pictured history of spectacles (eye glasses), I found the following guidance concerning monocles, which I don't want to withhold from you:
Dear Mrs. Mills,
I have worn a monocle on and off for the past few years. I now feel totally comfortable and indeed confident with it. However, I am anxious to know the correct etiquette, if any, that goes with the wearing of an eyepiece. I do entertain on a regular basis -- luncheons, dinners and so on -- and I'm desperate to ascertain the correct procedures when receiving dignitaries and, of course, female company.
DPC, Lincs
Dear DPC,
While the monocle should be worn whenever needed for seeing clearly (ie, reading, shooting, neurosurgery), it is also your responsibility to maintain its silly-ass yet, paradoxically, rakish image. So, for instance, it should be worn when eating soup so that you can exclaim "Gosh" (or "Crikey" in extreme duress), put on a surprised expression and allow the monocle to fall into the bowl -- a minor coup de th?©?¢tre that will give you the moral high ground. On the other hand, when being introduced to a lady wearing a low-cut dress, never fail to screw the monocle tightly into your eye socket and draw! "Hellloooo" while examining her cleavage closely. Extra kudos is obtained by sounding like Terry-Thomas.
Mrs. Mills
(from the Sunday Times Magazine, 1999)I have worn a monocle on and off for the past few years. I now feel totally comfortable and indeed confident with it. However, I am anxious to know the correct etiquette, if any, that goes with the wearing of an eyepiece. I do entertain on a regular basis -- luncheons, dinners and so on -- and I'm desperate to ascertain the correct procedures when receiving dignitaries and, of course, female company.
DPC, Lincs
Dear DPC,
While the monocle should be worn whenever needed for seeing clearly (ie, reading, shooting, neurosurgery), it is also your responsibility to maintain its silly-ass yet, paradoxically, rakish image. So, for instance, it should be worn when eating soup so that you can exclaim "Gosh" (or "Crikey" in extreme duress), put on a surprised expression and allow the monocle to fall into the bowl -- a minor coup de th?©?¢tre that will give you the moral high ground. On the other hand, when being introduced to a lady wearing a low-cut dress, never fail to screw the monocle tightly into your eye socket and draw! "Hellloooo" while examining her cleavage closely. Extra kudos is obtained by sounding like Terry-Thomas.
Mrs. Mills
