Want to buy or sell something? Check the classifieds
  • The Fedora Lounge is supported in part by commission earning affiliate links sitewide. Please support us by using them. You may learn more here.

Modern Male Identity Crisis

Messages
10,181
Location
Pasadena, CA
I always laugh when I hear guys say they hate the term "man up". Being a man has nothing to do with kicking other guy's a**es, or being tough, per se. It's about taking care of your ****! Be it your job, your family, your friends, your neighbors. It's a simple premise really. I know a man when I see him. And yes, I consider myself one.
Same goes for women. There's plenty of quality females. Plenty not. I do think society tends to more easily apply that label to men though. No self-pitying white guy here, just someone who gets sick of the entire world's woes blamed on "me" as a white man in the nice section of the middle class.
One thing I do find disconcerting about modern self-proclaimed feminists is the fact that from what I see, they only support other women who are on the liberal side of politics... Observation, not an invite to get into a political debate.
 

LizzieMaine

Bartender
Messages
33,732
Location
Where The Tourists Meet The Sea
All I can say about venom is that in the instance indicated above, my own bubbles from a Stygian pit so deep and black and sulphurous as to be unfathomable to mere mortal man. So, yeah, I'm not likely to be too apologetic about it. I do try not to use too much of it at once though -- I'm saving it up for a very special occasion.
 

rue

Messages
13,319
Location
California native living in Arizona.
All I can say about venom is that in the instance indicated above, my own bubbles from a Stygian pit so deep and black and sulphurous as to be unfathomable to mere mortal man. So, yeah, I'm not likely to be too apologetic about it. I do try not to use too much of it at once though -- I'm saving it up for a very special occasion.

Completely understandable Lizzie.
 

Travis Lee Johnston

Practically Family
Messages
623
Location
Mesa/Phoenix, Arizona
Yeah.... here Travis: :popcorn:

MMm, salty. I think there's even butter on it. You did good kid.


This subject(topic) seems to pop up now and again. Rather than go thru the motions and cheese-off the usual suspects, I'll type that we're just different. Girls and boys that is, and not just in the obvious physical aspects. Surtain things are expected more of surtain sexes, while surtain sexes get away with doing surtain things and having behavior traits.
 
Last edited:

sheeplady

I'll Lock Up
Bartender
Messages
4,479
Location
Shenandoah Valley, Virginia, USA
I also wanted to add that as bad as it is that he owes the money, watching my daughter cry like someone died every single year he promised to come on her birthday and didn't show up was heart wrenching. She stopped crying about 3 years ago, but I know she thinks about it every year.

Rue, I am so sorry for your daughter. One of my girl friends in high school repeatedly had the same thing happen to her with her mother, including many promises of birthdays and going shopping only to be stood up and not hear from her mother for weeks. (She lived 20 minutes away.) Thankfully my friend had a wonderful father.

My neighbor came home one day to find his house dark, his wife gone, and his infant son wrapped up in a blanket on the garage floor. My neighbor's wife left him and left the baby laying on the floor. If he had driven the car in and not seen the blanket he might have killed his own son. :(

"Deadbeats" aren't limited to men.
 
Last edited:

rue

Messages
13,319
Location
California native living in Arizona.
Rue, I am so sorry for your daughter. One of my girl friends in high school repeatedly had the same thing happen to her with her mother, including many promises of birthdays and going shopping only to be stood up and not hear from her mother for weeks. (She lived 20 minutes away.) Thankfully my friend had a wonderful father.

My neighbor came home one day to find his house dark, his wife gone, and his infant son wrapped up in a blanket on the garage floor. My neighbor's wife left him and left the baby laying on the floor. If he had driven the car in and not seen the blanket he might have killed his own son. :(

"Deadbeats" aren't limited to men.

You know what the big kicker is? His trips to come see her were paid by me as per our divorce settlement (We moved across the country and I didn't want her traveling by plane alone until she was older). He had a free ride and still wouldn't do it. How do you explain to a 9 year old (at the time) that the father she adored is too busy surfing in Fiji to come see her? You can't. You just hold them and tell them that you are sorry. She won't speak to him anymore because of it.

You know... men can do a lot of things.... throw a garage door opener at your head when you're driving down the road when they're drunk, cheat on you with your best friend while you're in Vegas on your birthday, etc..., but when they hurt your baby mentally that is THE last straw and if anyone has a problem with my bashing, they can stuff it.

As for women like that.... trust me I know.... one of my best friends had a mother that walked out on him, her twin boys and their father one day and never talked to them again.

The story of the infant is so appalling I don't have words.....
 
Last edited:

Justin B

One Too Many
Messages
1,796
Location
Lubbock, TX
If ever there were a justification for murder...

There are some people who only continue living simply because it is illegal to kill them.

I cannot state in words how angry I am over those stories.
 
If ever there were a justification for murder...

There are some people who only continue living simply because it is illegal to kill them.

I cannot state in words how angry I am over those stories.

I second the anger.

Letting them live is probably a better idea as they can suffer the indignity and shame on their own and fully get their just desserts. I just wish Shame were more in fashion these days.:rolleyes:
 

rue

Messages
13,319
Location
California native living in Arizona.
I share your anger obviously (I had to calm down to write this), but the thing to remember is to blame the individual and not the entire sex. It took me a long time to do that and not be bitter.

I wish shame was in fashion too James, but in this day and age "it's all okay bra" :rolleyes:
 

Travis Lee Johnston

Practically Family
Messages
623
Location
Mesa/Phoenix, Arizona
Never understood the end game of treating another person like s*** just for the sake of doing it, resentment. Especially when you have to see them all the time when there's young ones involved.
Some of my friends have ex wives and they're dispicable vindictive people. Perhaps if they stopped and said their behavior outloud to themselves before they did it, thinking about it logically while considering that that "guy" is the father to their kid. They might put a lid on the act. But then you'd have to be a mentally stable individual to begin with. It's childsplay.
 

Tomasso

Incurably Addicted
Messages
13,719
Location
USA
Where is the ugliness? I really want to know. My statements were based on observations I have actually seen. The discussion about child support had a touch of venom in in\t, but noone objected to that. I smell hypocracy in your statements, sir.
Here.

I am sick and tired of being blamed for the fact the poor, sad white men are no longer king of the Jungle. It is not feminist's fault that so many men want desperately to marry their Mothers and can't seem to find the right "gal". Most men want to live in the apartment over grandma's garage until they either die or run out of money.

Not only are you gender bashing but you threw the race card in as well. Others are speaking of their personal experience and are not extrapolating such to include a large segment of society. .


Sage advice here.....

the thing to remember is to blame the individual and not the entire sex. It took me a long time to do that and
not be bitter.
 

Forum statistics

Threads
109,152
Messages
3,075,168
Members
54,124
Latest member
usedxPielt
Top