Miss, Mrs. or Madam? The demise of Ms?

[CherryWry]

hey, lady...

I'm Ms. at work and Mrs. outside of work. I was married, took my first husband's name, then got divorced and reverted to my maiden name (largely because my sister-in-law and I had the same name and were starting to get indications that our credit histories may be getting confused). Not long after I had FINALLY gotten everything switched back to my maiden name at work, I remarried. I took my husband's last name legally, but didn't want the IT folks to hate me, so I stuck with my maiden name at work. Occassionally, a coworker will call me Mrs. L____ and I'll explain that actually, I'm Mrs. W____ or Ms. L____.

I use Sir and Ma'am when dealing with people I don't know. I pay close attention during introductions to find out how people prefer to be addressed and try to go with that as much as possible.

Really, I'm not picky about what people call me as long as I know they mean me. I call my husband Mister and he calls me Lady (in the grocery store: "Hey Lady, do we need soup?") I have a friend who calls me doll and I've always loved that.

 

[MsStabby]

I never understood why women get so many suffix's and men only get one.

Mr is fine for us married or not. Why can't women just have Ms.

But from what I was always told:

Miss = Younger single woman
Ms = older single woman
Mrs = Married woman

This is my perspective also. I am not defined by my relationship status with a man, therefore my preference is Ms.

 

[Carlisle Blues]

I never understood why women get so many suffix's and men only get one.

Mr is fine for us married or not. Why can't women just have Ms.

But from what I was always told:

Miss = Younger single woman
Ms = older single woman
Mrs = Married woman

Madam as well.

The prefix for a male too young to be called Mister is Master

I just use "Hey You!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

 

[Geronimo]

I just use "ma'am." Covers all categories that way. A sign of respect to an older (or younger) woman.

The prefix for a male to young to be called Mister is Master

Which always confused me. I figure the term was originally dripping in sarcasm when spoken. lol

 

[Carlisle Blues]

I just use "ma'am." Covers all categories that way. A sign of respect to an older (or younger) woman.

Which always confused me. I figure the term was originally dripping in sarcasm when spoken. lol

* Main Entry: 1mas·ter
* Pronunciation: \ˈmas-tər\
* Function: noun
* Etymology: Middle English, from Old English magister & Anglo-French meistre, both from Latin magister; akin to Latin magnus large — more at much
* Date: before 12th century


(1) archaic : mr. (2) : a youth or boy too young to be called mister —used as a title b : the eldest son of a Scottish viscount or baron

 

[Miss Sis]

Interesting that people can find being called 'Madam' offensive - I think it's very respectful, and I like it when I go to a nice restaurant, shop or hotel when the staff call me that. Obviously tone makes a big difference.

"Can I help you, Madam....?"

I have as friend who is a teacher. She was Miss Hall, before she married. Then she married a Mr. Hall - so she became Mrs. Hall. A-ha! you say, that was easy! However, she said all the kids at her school still call her Miss. I think it's a hazard of the job.

 

[Miss Neecerie]

I would prefer Madam then Ma'am......but I realise its just me.

Ma'am just makes me feel old.....and not necessarily respected.

 

[ThesFlishThngs]

I think 'miss' often becomes a term of address for children to use for adult women in their lives - teachers, neighbors, etc. with no real thought to the woman's relationship status.
When my daughter was three and we moved to this house, the next door neighbor became Miss Joyce, and still is, all these years later. The dance teacher was Miss Jo, a favorite bookshop employee was Miss Grace.....

 

[Rauha]

I used it right through the 80s and 90s whether single or married. Don't know why I reverted to Mrs with my second husband. I still get the urge to tick Ms on forms. If I search my soul I think I used it because (1) I thought women should be able to keep some privacy about their partnership status, and (2) it also looks so much more assertive than Miss or Mrs, and (3) most men and most women I met hated it - so that meant I just had to use it! Sad, I know.

Why would a woman want to hide her marital status? Is that not akin to a man not wearing his wedding band? [huh]

 

[Rauha]

Not "mademoiselle", eh?

I lived in several non-English speaking European countries over the years and in every country unmarried women always used the "miss" varient in their own language. The only exception was Germany. In Eastern Europe the women positively revel in their femininity and make a point of showing it off, especially if they were single. Very different world than the USA!

 

[Rauha]

Interesting that people can find being called 'Madam' offensive - I think it's very respectful, and I like it when I go to a nice restaurant, shop or hotel when the staff call me that. Obviously tone makes a big difference.

"Can I help you, Madam....?"

I have as friend who is a teacher. She was Miss Hall, before she married. Then she married a Mr. Hall - so she became Mrs. Hall. A-ha! you say, that was easy! However, she said all the kids at her school still call her Miss. I think it's a hazard of the job.

In the US, calling a lady "madam" as opposed to "ma'am" will probably get you in trouble. American madams today are mainly found in brothels (...ducking...)

 

[HadleyH]

I don't know why i find the term ma'am kind of sexy, " Yes ma'am..."
It has to be said with that Southern-North American drawl though....

 

[Mr_D.]

Madam as well.

The prefix for a male too young to be called Mister is Master

I just use "Hey You!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Mr = Mister or Master.

Why would a woman want to hide her marital status? Is that not akin to a man not wearing his wedding band? [huh]

I have been married for 3 years now and have only worn my ring the day of the wedding. things on my hands bother me so I don't wear it. In my heart I know I am married (besides, I have noticed form my previous marriages that wearing a wedding band attracts women, and I'd rather not have the hassle. )

 

[Carlisle Blues]

Mr = Mister or Master.
)

Sure ...so the definition states....


I think the spirit in which you address the person is the most meaningful. I generally use Ma'am when in a professional situation or even a social setting if I do not know the person's name. I certainly would not use Madam unless the person was my grandmother's age.

Ma'am is used as term of respect in the military. It was not used in my area growing up.

I do not meet too many woman who wish to be called Mrs., Ms, Miss or espcially ma'am unless they are my mother's age.

Naturally, should someone wished to be called by a particular title why not.

 

[NicknNora]

Why would a woman want to hide her marital status? Is that not akin to a man not wearing his wedding band? [huh]

Hi Rauha, I guess I'll take a crack at your questions by offering up my opinion.

I don't consider women using Ms. or for that matter men using Mr. to be hiding their marital status but merely not announcing it. As far as rings are concerned I think men not wearing their wedding bands is the same as a woman not wearing hers. I don't think men not wearing their wedding band is remotely akin to a woman not using the title of Mrs anymore than I think a woman not wearing her wedding band is akin to man using the title of Mr. In my opinion it's comparing apples to oranges.

 

[Miss 1929]

Senora!

How do I put the ~ over my n in the FL?

 

[Diamondback]

According to Windows CharMap, hold Alt and type 0241 on your numpad. (I tried it, but it doesn't work so well when you have to hold both Alt and Function keys, and I'm disinclined to dig out my USB numpad at the moment...)

 

[59Lark]

what gender is you guys.

i was taught to approach female customers good morning madam how may i help you, good afternoon how may i be of service. one form of greeting mostly in a restraunt or store today that makes cringe, is the guys may i help, you may say are you not a guy, sure but my wife is not and my daughters are not. in my store, madam, mam are used or miss, not miz, while we are not the biltmore we are not guys, we have slid down the food chain far too far. 59lark. ps the cap lock on this keyboard sticks thats why no captials. fftopic:

 

[MsStabby]

Why would a woman want to hide her marital status? Is that not akin to a man not wearing his wedding band? [huh]

Because each person has the right to proclaim one's relationship status, or not; it's not a question of "hiding" it.

Men are allowed one prefix regardless of marital status. Until a few decades ago, women were not. Women (and teen girls of dowry age, ie ~ 13 y.o. further back in history) were titled exclusively by their status as chattel, that is, whether or not they had been married out, hence Miss or Mrs.

Ms. simply provides women, regardless of relationship status, the freedom to be addressed without regard to their existence vis-a-vis a husband. Ms., in my opinion, allows women to be addressed as individuals, the same as Mr. does for men.

 

[Carlisle Blues]

Ms., in my opinion, allows women to be addressed as individuals, the same as Mr. does for men.

I support your position...enough with nonsensical and antiquated labels..