Military Fakes- sometimes you just have to share the joke...

[V.C. Brunswick]

What's really bizarre is that "Sgt" Booger, age 33, was at Fort Benning attending the graduation of his 28-year-old "stepson" whose married to his 54-year-old mother. :eeek:

 

[Maj.Nick Danger]

The polar bears were in cahoots with beluga whales. Our Boys were being held in the underwater Caverns of Doom when Sgt. Boogerman single handedly rescued them. And there was a volcano.

First, he rappelled out of the space shuttle, and when he reached the end of the rope-he turned it into a HALO jump- because he's just that awesome.

But you forgot to mention the nazis he had to whack also. He had to get revenge for that Operation Highjump thing that went bad in '47.

 

[Bluebird Marsha]

Space Nazi's. I hate those guys.

Normally, when I hear about about a 54 yr. old woman snagging a 28 yr. old hubby, I want to give a fist bump and yell "Go Team!" Alas, in this case instead I envision Deliverance, with dueling banjos playing.

 

[Gene]

The polar bears were in cahoots with beluga whales. Our Boys were being held in the underwater Caverns of Doom when Sgt. Boogerman single handedly rescued them. And there was a volcano.

First, he rappelled out of the space shuttle, and when he reached the end of the rope-he turned it into a HALO jump- because he's just that awesome.

HE PIONEERED THE LOW ALTITUDE JUMP. He was the first, duh. That's what he won the Air Medal for!

NOT PICTURED UNDER LAPEL: ETO ribbon with 4 battle stars and arrowhead, WWII Victory Medal, and lest we forget American Defense, for when he was drafted in early '41.

 

[Bluebird Marsha]

He's so awesome, he has to have multiple jackets to display his medals on. The Order of the Patriotic War, Victoria Cross, WWII POW medal (he LET himself be captured-just so he could escape). I'm sure he has Astronaut wings too.

When he makes a HALO jump, he don't need no stinkin' parachute. The ground knows it better just get out of his way.

He could wear his MOH, but he chooses not to do so. He's a modest man.

 

[V.C. Brunswick]

HE PIONEERED THE LOW ALTITUDE JUMP. He was the first, duh. That's what he won the Air Medal for!

NOT PICTURED UNDER LAPEL: ETO ribbon with 4 battle stars and arrowhead, WWII Victory Medal, and lest we forget American Defense, for when he was drafted in early '41.

I think we found John Titor. :rofl:

 

[Mr Vim]

Who exactly is this Sergeant Booger? He was at Fort Benning, and no one arrested him for being a nut why?

 

[Bluebird Marsha]

Alas, being a nut is not enough to get you arrested. Planet wide mockery is a second-best choice, but it will have to do.

 

[Puzzicato]

I suppose you can't be done for impersonating an officer if no one in the world believes you are an officer!

 

[SgtRick]

Back in the mid 80's while I was stationed at MCAS El Toro 3 other Marines and myself went to the mall in Laguna Hills. While strolling around we noticed a long hair wearing a Marince Corps Bravo dress shirt with Sgt chevrons on it. Being the hard charging Marines that we were we inquired as to where he came about the shirt. Answer was it wasn't any of our business. Well, long story short we made it our business. I will say we LET him walk away under his own power....however, he was minus the Sgt. chevrons.

 

[Edward]

Well, there's the eternal conundrum of freedom, eh? I don't much see the point in getting bent out of shape over these things if somebody isn't attempting to pass themselves off fraudulently. Some of them aren't frauds though, more just little boys with not much else going for them who never grew out of playing soldier. Pitiable more than anything, if that's the case. I'd be suspicious of anyone too keen to parade a supposed military record, myself: the folks I have known personally who are ex forces are the least likely to want to discuss it.

 

[Baron Kurtz]

When you have a general opinion in society that some things are more laudable than others, whatever those things are, and when societies are as "unequal" (for want of a better word) as western societies tend to be, you will always get some people who want to illegitimately claim to possession of those lauded things. They need counseling, not ridicule. They need to come to terms with why they feel the need to do what they do, and attempt to address those issues in a constructive way.

We have much the same problem with people claiming to be doctors … There is a huge problem with correspondence course "universities", and collaborations with foreign "universities" (one just got found out in Wales http://www.publicfinance.co.uk/news/2011/06/university-of-wales-overseas-dealings-criticised/) giving out bogus degrees. A different example from military service, but the same underlying psychology, and obviously potentially far more dangerous to others.[huh]

bk

 

[V.C. Brunswick]

Meet "Captain" William James Clark. This "doughboy" (in the Pillsbury sense of the word) should be General of the Douchebag Brigade. In August of last year he was spotted at a gun show in Alaska where he was outted by an Army NCO recently returned from Afghanistan. Full details are below.

http://www.professionalsoldiers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=29963

But Captain Fatbody here is not just your garden variety Walter Mitty. The Missouri native has a lengthy criminal record, mainly for passing bad checks which would appear to be his primary criminal specialty. When he was outted at the gun show he was attempting to purchase several Polaris Quad 4 ATVs.

In May 2002 when the I-40 bridge over the Arkansas River near Webber Falls, Oklahoma collapsed killing 14 people, Clark showed up at the disaster scene in the guise of an Army Special Forces captain. For two and a half days, Clark gave orders to local, state and federal officials (including FBI agents) and even gave interviews to the media. He also "requisitioned" several motel rooms -- ostensibly for the rescue workers -- and a pickup truck from a local dealership.

But the strangest part of the story was that one of the victims was Captain Andrew Clement, a 35-year- old Army captain en route from California to a duty assignment at the Pentagon. Inexplicably, Clark had foreknowledge of Clement's rank and identity BEFORE any of the bodies were recovered and identified. When a fisherman recovered Clement's personal effects which included a briefcase and laptop, Clark demanded to see them, walking off with three file folders. On an even creepier note, of all the victims, Captain Clement was the only one whose cause of death was listed as "blunt force trauma." The other victims drowned.

Clark, wanted for the theft of the pickup, was eventually arrested in Canada on a weapons charge. He was extradited back to the US where he was charged and convicted of impersonating a military officer and sentenced to five years in prison. Paroled in 2007 he found himself back behind bars a short time later when he phoned the Russian Embassy claiming he was part of a Special Forces hit team assigned to assassinate then Russian president Vladimir Putin. He was released in 2008.

 

[Bluebird Marsha]

There are a couple of "types" in the military impersonation business. Clark is the most dangerous type. A conman who uses a uniform to further his crime, much like a police impersonator. Another type is former military, but uses bogus medals and injuries to increase their retirement pensions, and possibly to enhance their resume to improve the civilian employment. These types need to busted, and busted hard. Fortunately there are laws broken to deal with these people.

Then there is Sgt. Boogerman. As hysterically funny as he is, he is obviously mentally ill. I wish he could be forced into treatment, but since isn't apparently dangerous, there's no way to do that.

Of course, there's always the guy who's trying to impress women at bars and other places, or trying to cadge free drinks out of "civilians". Douchebags in need of a beat down. Every time I see some old guy with a long grey pony tail, a goatee, a MIA or Death Before Dishonor t-shirt, and a Special Forces tattoo, all I can think is "in your dreams".

 

[Bob_Fixico]

This is scary, it realy is to me. This Clarke guy looks too much like a man my Mother-in-Law met and married in 2009. So you know she really knows how to pick them. This man has a different name and I am not going to post it here. But he introduced himself and told us that he was retired US Army Reserve Command Sergeant Major who had also just retired from a Law Enforcement Agency in Florida. Lost his house during housing mess in 2008 so on and so forth. Learned so much about him the day of the wedding. Needless to say his whole tale to the family was BS and closely parallels This Clarke man story. Now he has confessed that he was a Reserve Law Enforcement Officer and still stands on the fact that he was an Army Reservist. But now he was an adminstrator at a junior college in Florida. It maybe that I am too country but the manure seems to get deeper or higher around that guy.

 

[Pompidou]

The US SEALs are pretty diligent about finding and exposing Walter Mitties pretending to be in their ranks. They expose the names on a wall of shame website. I imagine after certain fairly recent events, the ranks of SEAL Walter Mitties exploded pretty dramatically.

 

[Miss Moonlight]

This is a very sad thread. First you have the type Edward mentioned, and they're just sort of pathetic. But those who don uniforms to scam people. Words can't even describe. Perhaps they should be sent to actually serve where they claim to have, and let them have a taste of what it really means to deserve the uniform.

Of course, that would probably put the rest of the unit at risk since these people are clearly wrong in the head, and it would do nothing about the elderly frauds.

Gah. How depressing.

 

[sheeplady]

Another type is former military, but uses bogus medals and injuries to increase their retirement pensions, and possibly to enhance their resume to improve the civilian employment.

I actually know someone who has actively lied about their disability status to the Veteran's Administration, claiming to be fully disabled (wheelchair bound) when he can still walk (with a cane). He also claims he cannot write. He was injured during WWII, so he is a disabled veteran, just not that disabled.

This means he pays no property taxes and is receiving close to $50,000 a year in (full) disability benefits. He has been turned into the VA fraud department numerous times. The last VA investigations officer said that they'd never take away any of his money. Apparently they never take away a veteran's benefits once they have been given, even if it is found out that they have been lying and don't deserve them.

It makes me really sad because they always have stories about how the VA can't pay for certain things for the young men and women coming home.

 

[RadioWave]

Of course, there's always the guy who's trying to impress women at bars...

This is probably the most common motivation I've heard for uniform fakeries.

I've also heard that WWII paratroopers didn't spare a beating for any non-parachuting military personnel they caught wearing jump-boots.

 

[Bluebird Marsha]

I was explicitly warned when I entered Army ROTC and started buying some of my uniforms, (early 1980's), to NOT purchase jump boots. And my classmates that completed Airborne school practically glowed when they first wore their highly polished jump boots.