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Is style something you are born with? I think I am missing the gene!

angeljenny

A-List Customer
Messages
339
Location
England
I see people who look so put together and have a signature look but I just have no style. I am currently reading all the back topics on this forum and it is fascinating!

I have never dared to wear the sort of clothes I like for a couple of reasons. One – I really don’t know how to put outfits together or how to add accessories (I must have missed a lesson somewhere! And two – I don’t really like how I look and have a lack of confidence. I want to go from blob to bombshell!

I try to put a wardrobe together that I can mix and match outfits from as I don’t have unlimited funds but somehow I end up with lots of clothes and accessories that don’t go together! I don’t know how people do it. Knowing which top to wear with which skirt and which shoes, bag and accessories go.

I love the 1950’s retro look. This is what I am aiming for –big change for me! I just want to make more of an effort and to view myself as worth that time and effort.

Any ideas of where to start with a basic wardrobe? I just look a mess! I don’t want to look like I am wearing a costume. I work in an office Monday to Friday but it isn’t super smart. I am stuck in the rut of black trousers and a top EVERY DAY! So boring! Casual wear is jeans and a top – also boring.

I am tired of being a wallflower and think I am finally ready to stand out!

I just don’t know where to start – any websites, books or anything that you could recommend would be greatly appreciated as would any advice!

Sorry to have rambled at you all!

Jenny
 

RodeoRose

A-List Customer
Messages
415
Location
Vermont
I do think some people have a natural flair for styling, but I firmly believe anyone can learn. Especially if you've never really put much effort into your personal style-- we all have to start somewhere!

It's a bit cliched by now, but Mad Men really is a great show for inspiration as you're working in an office and prefer the styling of the 1950s! Pretty much any of Joan's outfits from the first few seasons could be worn in a modern setting and look vintage but not costumey, I think.

Also, dresses are your friend! I have literally dozens of vintage day dresses, and a comparatively meager collection of separates. They're very easy, and eliminate the hassle of matching. After you get a bit more settled into a vintage style, you can transform them with layering and accessories, too.
 

kamikat

Call Me a Cab
Messages
2,794
Location
Maryland
I feel like I was born without the style gene, myself, so I can relate. Up until last year, the only accessories I owned was a pearl necklace that my grandmother gave to me for high school graduation. The key to have the kind of mix and match wardrobe that you mention, without the worry of which top goes with which skirt is neutrals. I have read alot about wardrobe building. The general advice is to pick 3 colors and stick to them for a while. For example, black, white and red. You get 2 basic black skirts and one red skirt. Then 1 white blouse, 1 white knit top, a red blouse and maybe a red striped blouse. At that point, any two garments in your wardrobe capsule will make a presentable outfit. Once you have the basic wardrobe capsule, then when you go shopping, keep in your mind what you have in your close and make sure that each new item that you buy can be worn with at least 2 different garments already in your closet. If you think black, white and red aren't for you, you can do charcoal grey, pink and cream or navy, white and yellow, or chocolate brown, cream and rust. The idea is dark neutral, light neutral and accent color. As for accessories, I'm a firm believer that a pearl necklace can be worn with anything.
 

Miss sofia

One Too Many
Messages
1,675
Location
East sussex, England
Hey there and welcome,

Great advice from Rodeo Rose and Kamikat.

I also struggle with the having little or no style issue and i love and tend to wear the 50's retro look. Rodeo Rose is right, we all have to start somewhere, i never thought i would get as far as i have, but i have to say i owe alot of that to the inspiration i get from here on a daily basis.

I think Kamikat's advice to stick to some simple colour combinations so that all your clothes and future purchases go together is sound. My mum who is very stylish, advised me on the same thing and as i struggle with colours and co-ordinating i stick to that rule pretty much, dresses being the exception to the rule as i do love a wild print dress, but they are a seperate part of my wardrobe, well another wardrobe entirely!!

I think there is a thread or sticky about 50's wardrobe basics somewhere.

Also as you work in an office you don't want to be faffing about too much in the morning, so the mix and match principle is the way forward i think.

I would invest in a couple of pencil skirts, maybe a few circle skirts and a couple of pairs of capri pants or highwaisted trousers for example, all which would look good for work. as you can team them with blouses or sweaters. Perhaps a few cardigans, one beaded maybe, one plain. Twinsets are good too. I have a couple of vintage fifties suits too, one grey and one black which are good for work, so perhaps a plain suit would be an idea. That's pretty much the basis of my wardrobe, i stick to mainly black, navy, red and white. Then i think you can acessorise to make the outfit your own, although i'm with Kamikat on the pearls as they are something i tend to wear alot. I love clip on earrings and brooches and have loads of 'em, which i have picked up mostly for next to nothing and really let them do the talking rather than the clothes most of the time. Belts too, cinching in your waist gives a good fifties silhouette instantly. Perhaps some ballet pumps and some nice court shoes would be great too for work.

Freddies of Pinewood are great for jeans, i love their forties and fifties styles and wear them a lot, blouses and jeans and a cardi tend to be my off duty wear.

x
 

Penny Dreadful

One of the Regulars
Messages
224
Location
Winnipeg
I agree with everything said here. In my life it always seems to work out that you should always be on the lookout for things you love, music and movies included, and build on that, and everything will fall into place. Don't worry about not looking perfect - I think most if not all of us are a constant work in progress. It becomes a hobby as much as just a style, always evolving, and always FUN! I think that's the key right there.
 

JennyLou

Practically Family
Messages
689
Location
La Puente, Ca
Same here. I still have problems with style, but I'm trying to work through them. I'm plus-sized, and have been my whole life, so I never thought I could ever even considered being stylish but I have learned to appreciate style and gaining fashion knowledge. Up until I was almost out of high school my wardrobe consisted of t-shirts and baggy pants, usually found in the mens section. I love learning what can look good on me, and although it could be very frustrating at times, and confusing, I still manage to dress better than I have in the past. Also, recently I have added more color to my wardrobe. My mom told me that I have been wearing only black clothes since second grade. I have moved on to reds, browns, and dark blues...a big step for me. I am constatly trying to learn what will work and what won't.
 

TillyMilly

One of the Regulars
Messages
263
Location
UK
Still struggling to break out of the Gothic Black form my teen years- there are only so many jewel tones around in the shops. I'm stratign out on becoming a stylist; my interest began when I had no idea what to wear and dveloped from there. Being 5 foot (below 'petite' sizes and curvy (but slim) gives me a few challenges and there are whole shapes and lengths of clothign I have to stay away from- thoug hi do slip up occasionally (circle skirts) but soo regret it and end up ebaying them.

My advice is to take a really good look at your body shape/size, your colouring and your style personality and work from there- if you can afford it and find it necessary have a session with a proffesional- you won't regret it. I did this and it's what inspired me to save up for the training.
 

Tatum

Practically Family
Messages
959
Location
Sunshine State
Great advice from all the ladies. I started by wearing a lot of "classical" stuff, then started mixing in what I thought could be considered vintage-inspired and worked my way up from there. It helped me build my confidence, and I became less afraid to drop the money on the vintage pieces, as for a while I never wore them out of the house!
 

Tifa

Familiar Face
Messages
63
Location
Stockholm, Sweden
I think some people just happen to be great at styling, but for most it comes with experience and learning what suits you.
Learning about your body type and what fits you is a great way to start.
Being comfortable with the clothes your wear is pretty much a must in order to look like you got it together.

I have learned with time what suits my body and now know what styles to stay away from, just because I know myself. A dress might be the prettiest ever, but if it don't fit and I don't feel OK in it I will just look like... bleeeh.
Same with hair. There are some hairstyles that just don't work on me... no Rita Hayworth hair on me.

Start with the classics and then start mixing things in that spice it all up and make it original.
Buy clothes in "regular" store with a vintage flair at first and then start working of a confidence and explore vintage shops and repro.

Yes, Mad Men is great for fashion tips, "Joan" wears outfits that are simple but stylish.


A tip if you want to take small steps towards a vintage style.
Now I just took a random shop I know is in the US and took the first I found that could work...
but if you take this
skirt
match it with this little top
put on this little shoe

Put on a cute bracelet and have your hair in a vintage style and your are on your way :) You can just look at old pictures and see what is typical, the length and cuts, and pretty much find all that in regular stores (to a certain degree).

Skirts and tops are easier if you are not used to dresses (which by some can be considered to much dress up).
I hope I didn't start to blab to much now... :)

Also, I'm pretty new here so hellooo!
(joined a long time ago but haven't been active)
 

ThePowderKeg

One of the Regulars
Messages
130
Location
New Hampshire, USA
I try to put a wardrobe together that I can mix and match outfits from as I don’t have unlimited funds but somehow I end up with lots of clothes and accessories that don’t go together! I don’t know how people do it. Knowing which top to wear with which skirt and which shoes, bag and accessories go.

Spend an hour trying things on in front of a mirror. Pick an item and make it your mission to find the other things in your wardrobe that work with it. I will put on a skirt and try on all the different tops I own to see what works. Even if you don't find the right thing, you'll figure out what could work. Maybe the rust-colored cardigan is the right cut but wrong color to go with that gray pencil skirt, while the teal T-shirt was a great color but you don't want to wear a t-shirt to work with a pencil skirt so...now you know you need a teal cardigan. Try on shoes, belts, purses, etc. too.

If you're really brave, invite a few friends over, have some wine and let them pick out combinations for you. You'll get a totally different perspective.
 

TillyMilly

One of the Regulars
Messages
263
Location
UK
I keep a spreadsheet of al my clothing and accessories (and Make-up and CDs and DVds and books and .....ok, I know, OCD!) It started off at uni as a way to keep track of all my stuff. I find that the list is a really good way to see what items are 'missing' from my wardrobe e.g. black blouse in satin - check, black blouse in silk -check, black blouse in chiffon- nope! red blouse -nope! You get the idea.. might be useful...maybe...
 

angeljenny

A-List Customer
Messages
339
Location
England
Thank you all for your advice! I appreciate it so much.

RodeoRose – I just bought seasons 1 to 3 of Mad Men as the DVDs were on offer. I love Betty’s clothes! I do like the idea of having dresses and I am trying to get out of wearing trousers all the time.

Kamikat – I love my pearls! I have a single strand that I was given for my 18th and a double strand that I got for my 21st. I really have to start wearing them as at the moment they look a little odd with my sloppy clothes! I like the idea of having 3 colours to start with in my wardrobe – it must take a lot of will power to stick to though!

Miss sofia – This site is fab! I have been reading this section and the beauty section as I am also trying to girly up my look and there is so much information here! Cute 50’s is the look I am going for really. I can’t wear pencil skirts! I feel so chunky! I think perhaps the retro look would work well at the office as everyone dressed so smartly.

Penny Dreadful – I am not even going to aim for perfection! The idea of dressing this way is exciting – not how I feel about my clothes now!

JennyLou – I’m not sure where plus size starts but I am definitely not skinny at all. I am working on it but I don’t think I have a figure for any era! I finally feel like I am worth making the effort to look nice and dress nicely – big step for me. I still don’t like attention overmuch and tend to dress so blandly!

Tishkaminx – I am 5’2 but I didn’t realise that circle skirts were more suited to taller people. I have a couple! Not sure about my shape – perhaps an out of control hourglass. Not sure about which colours would suit me either. I will try to find a picture of me that I don’t totally hate and will set it as my avatar. I like the spread sheet idea! It would make planning shopping trips easier as I would know exactly what I needed!

Tatum – I think that will be a big step – actually changing my look as the people I know are so used to how I dress now.

Tifa – I am much more comfortable with myself now. I am not so terrified of people noticing me. I like the idea of buying vintage inspired clothes from modern stores first and then mixing in actual vintage clothes later. Vintage hair and makeup is my next step. My routine now is minimal makeup and basically I just brush my hair. I know what you mean about dresses seeming like too much – I think at first I would feel over the top in a dress.

ThePowderKeg – My friends are trying to make me dress younger! Leggings and long tops – not very me at all! There is just no femininity to what they want me to wear – it is all tops with no waist and skinny jeans. No florals, no lace and no frills! That’s my weekend sorted – try on my whole wardrobe! I thought about photographing different clothes put into outfits.

I think my problem is that I don’t plan or think enough about what I buy. On my last shopping trip I bought:

A pair of blue Converse (Lite Ox??).

A pink top with a white polka dot shirt under it.

A navy cropped cardigan with white flowers sewn on it.

A denim flared knee length dress with a zip down the front.

A white lace hair band.

All totally random!

I need to sort out the basic colours for my wardrobe – I was thinking black/grey/cream as the neutrals. Pink as the sort of statement colour with little bits of eau de nil and maybe lavender. I only really wear silver as a metallic and dark denim. What do you think?

Jenny
 

Tatum

Practically Family
Messages
959
Location
Sunshine State
I think my problem is that I don’t plan or think enough about what I buy. On my last shopping trip I bought:

A pair of blue Converse (Lite Ox??).

A pink top with a white polka dot shirt under it.

A navy cropped cardigan with white flowers sewn on it.

A denim flared knee length dress with a zip down the front.

A white lace hair band.

All totally random!

But that's OK! You're still figuring it out. You could wear the Converse with the cute navy cardigan, add a light colored flared or circle skirt and rock it! I think that a lot of the ladies would agree with me saying that it's not necessarily about going fully vintage, it is about our appreciation for it, and finding what works for us. It's about YOUR style, not your perception of what others think it should be. Don't worry about your friends, it seems that they think trendy is stylish. It might work for them, but don't worry about that and do what works for YOU and makes YOU happy! :D
 

RodeoRose

A-List Customer
Messages
415
Location
Vermont
Just wanted to chime in again: achieving a vintage hair and makeup style will go a long way towards getting the aesthetic you're after. It sounds like the pieces you've listed are all very classic, which is great. Some eyeliner on the upper lid only, a splash of red lip gloss, and a neat pincurled set or smooth french twist, for instance, would be a nice way to start out and give your look a decidedly vintage flair.
 

angeljenny

A-List Customer
Messages
339
Location
England
I do have clothes that look a bit 1950's to me but I don't really have outfits put together!

Really modern fashion just doesn't do anything for me but when I watch a Marilyn Monroe film the clothes are stunning.

I am practising putting eyeliner on. I couldn't seem to do liquid liner correctly but a gel / cream liner and a brush seems easier.
 

LolitaHaze

Call Me a Cab
Messages
2,244
Location
Las Vegas, NV
AngelJenny... It's more simple than you think. Buy a vintage dress you like and wear it. That is how you start out. If you try to do too much right away, it looks costumey and you become a Sunday's Best girl.

I believe hair and makeup is the key. More so hair. Look at pictures and try to recreate the styles yourself. But know that some styles are dependent on haircuts. I was doing 40's rolls back in high school... before I had access to the internet. How did I learn? I looked at photos of my Grandma and figured out how to make it look like hers. Mind you I didn't have multiple angle shots or even clear shots. Back to your clothes... you can have a 50's look with classic lines and pieces. Circle skirts and cardigans for starters.

Stay away from hair scarves and neck scarves until you developed a strong style. Gloves are also something to stay away from right away if you are unsure of your style and comfort. Kitch only looks good on those who are comfortable in themselves and own the look. However, a hair flower is always a great "Instant-Bettie" accessory.

In the end... wear what you like. If you want actual vintage, get actual vintage. If you are afraid to start there, start with classic pieces. Asking a message board is probably not the best way to go. Otherwise, you will be dressing in someone else's style. After all when people give advice, it's going to be what they like, not what others like. With that there are going to be contradicting conversations. The best thing you can do is look at pictures from that day and try to mimic it. Don't limit yourself to movie stars however. Most of their clothes were custom designed and not available. Look at old ads and vintage photographs.

Good luck. And once again it's simple... Step 1) Buy a vintage dress Step 2) Wear it
 
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angeljenny

A-List Customer
Messages
339
Location
England
Perhaps I am over thinking it! I just feel like I should have this perfect mix and match wardrobe right now!

I definitely want to sort out the clothes and be comfortable in those before I move into the scary world of accessories. I have some heated rollers that I was given a gift ages ago and I want to have a play with those as well as practising different make up styles.
 

Amy Jeanne

Call Me a Cab
Messages
2,858
Location
Colorado
Listen to Lolita! Here's some sites for "regular" people from the olden days:

http://squareamerica.com/

http://duryeapa.com/

When I started vintage there were no resources like this on the Internet. There were barely any old movie star photos (where I got most of my early inspiration!) Also, just type what you want to know in Google and you'll find out how to set pincurls, which haircut to get, what "lines" go with each decade, etc. I didn't have this when I started. I had to buy books, which were often limited. I never began to get a "style" for myself until I learned to sew at age 33.

It's all about doing it and trying it out. You might get a haircut you hate -- but then you'll know! You might wear a dress you feel ridiculous in -- then you'll know! You might also wear a dress that you think it the most perfect thing in the world. It's all up to you and what you like. I wouldn't be able to ask advice on what I should wear if I were just getting into vintage. Learning for myself was most of the fun.
 

Lauren

Distinguished Service Award
Messages
5,060
Location
Sunny California
Ditto Lolita!!
Style evolves, so start with a dress and have fun with it! Part of the fun of fashion is the possibilities :D
 

angeljenny

A-List Customer
Messages
339
Location
England
It feels a little scary to change my look - not because of what I will think of it but more what other people will say as they are used to me looking dull and not really having a style. Perhaps it gets easier the more you do it. I hope so! Anything that boosts my confidence is a good thing.

I am going to research the era and style so that I have a really good idea of what I like and what I think will suit me.

I have pulled out my books from the era (I bought the charm books when I was working on getting confidence and improving my posture) and in a charity shop on the way home I found The 1950's Look. Super excited as it was on my wish list!

bits1003.jpg


The charm type books have chapters on make up and hair which I never looked at before. So glad I kept them!
 

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