inlaws(screams)

[Dr Doran]

It just came to me, and I suppose it's evil...if they get on your nerves too much while visiting, take them for a little drive to the local cemetery and get out and walk over to a vacant area and say, "And we were thinking this might be a great spot for the two of you in a few years, you know, when the inevitable happens..." and maybe en route, point out the local convalescent hospital...you know...just so they know you're already thinking ahead of the fun places they'll probably have on their dance card in the future... It's along the lines of one of the prior posts in throwing them off kilter a bit. "

Too harsh!

 

[Mike in Seattle]

Too harsh!

Depends on the in-laws... Sometimes they have to be hit with a sledge hammer between the eyes to get the message...

 

[dani]

yeah she means well, she just is who she is, as for the religious thing, they are church of christ, and i have some pretty big tattoos, that are seen pretty easy so she hates that. the walk the dogs thing is a great idea, i have a pit bull who loves the park, and will keep me there all day.

 

[CharlesB]

Just remember folks:

Shotguns aint just for forcin a marriage anymore!

 

[Dr Doran]

yeah she means well, she just is who she is, as for the religious thing, they are church of christ, and i have some pretty big tattoos, that are seen pretty easy so she hates that. the walk the dogs thing is a great idea, i have a pit bull who loves the park, and will keep me there all day.

The way I dealt with my father in law's reactions to my tattoos (I am heavily tattooed too): I looked at the tattoos, then looked at him squarely, raised my eyebrows, and said, "ha ha ha! tattoos!" then turned away (not too quickly ... best not to seem intimidated) and said "I have to get something ... I'll be right back" and I wasn't back. Let him interpret it as he wants.

 

[SamMarlowPI]

i like how you handled your FIL, Mike...lol sounds like something i would say...some people just need to be put in their place or they will never stop...

does a story about a girlfriends mother count? like a pre-inlaw...

 

[Chas]

Dani, I hope your husband is backing you up. Any guy who doesn't needs a talking-to. Stand your ground, sweetness. Your home is your domain. Be polite, but take no guff.

My ex'es family are all realtors, so I don't miss them that much... except for her stepdad; he was a stand-up cat.

As to hyper-religous inlaws, just leave lots of books by Richard Dawkins and Christopher Hitchens around. Maybe that will work.

 

[Lola Getz]

Originally Posted by Mike in Seattle
It just came to me, and I suppose it's evil...if they get on your nerves too much while visiting, take them for a little drive to the local cemetery and get out and walk over to a vacant area and say, "And we were thinking this might be a great spot for the two of you in a few years, you know, when the inevitable happens..." and maybe en route, point out the local convalescent hospital...you know...just so they know you're already thinking ahead of the fun places they'll probably have on their dance card in the future... It's along the lines of one of the prior posts in throwing them off kilter a bit.

This made me laugh so hard I scared the dog. Thanks!

One thing about being a (temporary) Stepford Wife: sometimes it's worth it. My husband's family is not from this country, they are very traditional, and my husband is an only child. Being Stepford for one week out of 3 years (we live far away now) is worth it because it gives them peace of mind that I'm not some evil American harlot that is starving/working to death/ corrupting their baby. My husband could care less if there are the dishes in the sink or that I might be too tired to make dinner. But for those days that my MIL visits, my little act makes her sleep better all the other nights of the year that she's not around to dote on her son.
Your mileage may vary, of course.

 

[Amy Jeanne]

I don't understand why anyone would want to voluntarily stay with anyone for 6 weeks, either, but my in-laws are from England and they want to spend as much time with their "baby boy" as they can. It's not like they can pop by anytime. They have also helped us financially when we were in ruts and they've bought big things for us (most recently a couch!) so six weeks for a place to stay is a fair exchange I think. When they got on my nerves I would just think of all they've done for me that my own parents won't even do.

I get along with them just fine -- I really do. But 6 weeks with ANYONE can really get to me!!!

 

[Joan]

Dani, I hope your husband is backing you up. Any guy who doesn't needs a talking-to.

This is the part that confuses me. Dani is supposed to stand up for herself. Well, everybody loves Dani except the MIL. Why don't the others stand up for Dani, too? These stories are hilarious (in a horrible sort of way), but I keep hoping for one that goes, "So he told my MIL that if she can't behave herself, they can't visit us."

My MIL is fabulous, but she has a full life. She's far too busy to find time to criticize her daughters-in-law.

 

[imoldfashioned]

My condolences.

I was with a friend once as she was packing to go on a week's vacation with her in-laws. Thinking of helping her pack the car or some such I asked, "Is there anything I can do to help?" She looked at me and said "Pray for me!"

 

[Pilotguy299]

probably the best advice!

Dani: Since your mother-in-law is a neat freak and you're not, don't clean special for her. DON'T! Leave the work for her to do (don't tell her you left it for her, just leave it) and act tired ("I'm sorry, but I've been sooooo busy with this, and this, and this, and this, and . . . ad nauseum"), because you know that once she's finished complaining, she'll start cleaning. While she's cleaning, spend that time with your father-in-law, your husband and whoever else is around. Enjoy your break from housework! Let me repeat that, because it's the most relaxing thing you'll learn from this missive: Enjoy your break from housework!

When she's done cleaning, swallow your vomit, give her a huge hug and tell her that you appreciate the help. If you can truly fake appreciating her help, she won't go away thinking your home is filthy and that she's saved her boy from "the filth." She'll think she's actually helping and, on top of that, she'll think she's truly appreciated for it.

And what do you get, Dani? You get a clean house during their visit (with no labor on your part), time to spend with everyone else (without her being in the way), and a mother-in-law who feels apprecated. And with her doing all the housework, she'll tire out sooner and require more naps. FREE TIME! Can you say, "Win-win"?

That is soooooo true. I did pretty much the same thing back when I had in-laws and it really does work. Partly because they have a need to feel needed and part of the household, and partly because of OCD.

The most important thing though is that they are around for the grandchildren and creating fond memories that your kids will carry with them for the rest of their lives. One of my biggest disappointments is that my kids didnt have the opportunity to spend as much time with any of their grandparents as they should have before their grandparents passed away....

 

[June]

Dani, maybe you can go to a hotel.

Maybe it's not very friendly, but I think I'd be using the phrase, "I'm sorry, but I don't discuss that" quite a bit.

Excellent advice, Paisley. Enjoyed your Mayflower comment as well :eusa_clap