"Here's looking at you, kid" and what might get you slapped

[Tikismall]

I don't mind some pet names, but I appreciate them only for people I am close or have had some time to get to know and feel comfortable with.

I think when someone calls me "kid" it really trivializes, takes the strength out of what I say.
How can anyone make a strong statement and be confident when people call you childish names?

"you're just a baby", I hear this one a lot.

I used to rattle on about why I hated being called that, but now I just tell them: "Please do not call me a baby, it's insulting".

Shuts 'em up pretty quick.lol

 

[Mojito]

My father, born in 1933, still vividly recalls being hauled over the coals as a schoolboy for using the term "dame" to refer to a lady. His teacher at the time let him know in no uncertain terms that it was culturally unacceptable.

He'd watched far too many movies.

 

[Elaina]

Mojito, I rake mine for calling a gal a "dame" too. I never thought it to be complimentary, but with the things kids call girls now, it's certainly not as bad as it used to be.

We're having issues with calling a girl a "skirt". While it's not bad, and better then what my 14 year old sister allows herself to be called, I still would prefer him to find a better term them telling me he wants to "go skating to meet a new skirt".

 

[BinkieBaumont]

What about Ducky, as a term of endearment, as in "Thankyou Ducky", or "A Ducky, new hat"

 

[Al Niente]

You mean to say "intentionally", yes?


.

Actually, no. It takes little effort to intentionally wound someone with a comment or to be deliberately offensive. What I meant is that the mark of a truly civil person is one who will not blurt out something hurtful or offensive without thinking, thus unintentionally hurting another. As for doing it intentionally, some people deserve it, but it should be reserved for the truly deserving and in defense of oneself or another who cannot defend themselves. Sometimes the uncivl IS the civil thing to do.

Many people are overly sensitive to labels. It is best to err on the side of caution or not use them at all.

Then again, someone cannot offend you if you take no offense.

 

[Maguire]

While i noticed this recently, i find that people in my day to day life do not like being called by their last names. I remember one of my former bosses corrected me, insisted on me using "george" rather than mr such and such, and if i referred to the customers by their last name rather than "hi how are you" or whatnot, they'd look at me funny. And while they all refer to me by my first name, i do find that annoying and would much rather be called mr. I don't know them, and i never gave them permission to refer to me in the familiar, but its impossible to really change that.

I've noticed my father calls every woman a "girl" it doesn't matter if she's 80 years old, she'll always be a "girl" to him and his friends, perhaps thats an irish thing but it always struck me as odd. I never referred to my father as sir or mother as ma'am and know no one who has, although when my father recounts any story that involves him conversing with his parents, he usually will use "ma'am" or "sir". But then again he's 70+ years old.

As for current things, I've currently got the term "bro" stuck in my vocabulary. at first i did it as a joke, like saying "aight" or "wutup dawg" just as a joke, but its gotten itself insidiously lodged into the end of my every sentence. I started it because of how obnoxious it sounded and it backfired.

 

[Matt Deckard]

Broads, dames, skirts... they're all the same.

 

[Lorena B]

Well, in UK i have enjoyed the honey, cutie, darrrrling, luv, kid, doll, sweetie; even the sweetie pie !!!
Generally from men but women have also called me darling, sweetie, flower, love...
To be honest, i don't mind be told any of these, from then, i take it as something friendly!


I am also very prone to call it to either my friends ( and in some cases to strangers) cases like going to the flea market and the " how much is this luv?" would come out my mouth almost mechanically, in fact, when i had the business and was catering for up to 500 building site workers, i used it no stop, ( me, a girl to a man) and it was mostly taken in a friendly but not personal way.
I would dare to say that this sort of terms are very rooted and of popular use in UK.
But, i do have my limits and i am sure, many people do the same as me, as when i refer to older people, people in a socially higher rank ( ej. doctors, bosses...)i call then Mr..... or Mrs.

I have also used the term Madam while working in luxury shops in Bond St.
Instead the term "Lady" i have heard it in both respective and rude ways.
Ej. "That lady in the end of the queue is asking for you"
or the rude one "i didn't order this, ladyy!!
Also i must mentioned that the lady term from a couple of years to now, has became a joke word when mentioned in certain way, due to the tv program Little Britain.
Instead i don't hear the Sir term ( only hear it for royal tittle)
But i have used it several times myself, for ej. i used to answer a head chef in Holland as "yes Sir"
But i must say that the first time i used it in UK, while working in a pub while learning English, i remember using it in one of the customers " what can i get you Sir?" and boy, he got joked about by the mates and even made the remark of " Jesuuus!!! never been called Sir before in me'life and i get it called in a pub!!!)lol

 

[C-dot]

That's so funny! I call my mother lady to joke around with her, but my FMIL when I'm not joking lol I get honey, darling, and sweetie from other women. I think it's cute, and I will reciprocate, especially since I've exchanged some not-so-nice names with women in the past (as all women have!)

Men calling me honey, cutie, etc. or making similar comments don't bother me if they're meant at least partially in fun. But I won't tolerate "baby." Any man who has called me that has gotten a poisonous "I'm not your baby!" in return. I find it so condescending.

I won't resort to violence unless the guy says something dirty, or touches me. Since beginning high school, I have sucker punched, slapped, pushed, and thrown things at guys who have touched (and once, confined) me, but always after repeated warnings. Not the best way of dealing with them, sure, but it gets results.

EDIT: Whats wrong with being called by the last name? That's all anyone calls me! It got too long, so someone shortened it to C-dot, hence my screen-name lol

 

[Jennifer Lynn]

I like terms such as honey, darlin', miss, luv, and milady used at the right time and place (and have used honey and darlin' on guys). Don't have a problem with 'dame'...sounds classier than what I hear here in Central Florida. 'Kid' would be kinda funny to hear, as I am no kid (but I guess I am in proper context). Call me Jenny and yah probably won't get an answer (had a teacher in grade school who called me that and consistantly mispronounced my last name...the distaste stuck).

 

[VintageVixie]

This is -all- about context...

Completely!

A friend calling me kid or babe or whatever...is a term of endearment.


A co-worker or boss calling me those names...is well out of line and then it is derogatory....just like a boss calling a jr. male member 'boy' would be....

... as well as about who it's coming from. I've had two different male coworkers call me sweetie, and from one it was clearly his way of trying to use a diminutive to puff himself up, which was pathetic. So I called him cupcake and he never did it again. Being called cupcake bothered him so much, it was the strongest sign he wasn't coming from the right place. The other guy called me sweetie, and I called him kitten. And thus began a tradition where everytime he came in, he'd call me some cutesie name like cupcake, cookie, sugar, etc., and he'd get it back from me. When he called me Scout though, I called him Boo and those stuck.

 

[Hamilton_Honey]

I was raised where everyone around me, ladies and gentlemen called everyone Sugar, Darlin, Honey. It was a term of endearment. I miss this so much.
I am so anti PC it hurts.

I'm with you, Doll!

 

[Wally_Hood]

... When he called me Scout though, I called him Boo and those stuck.

That is cool on about nine different levels

 

[Shangas]

Completely!

... as well as about who it's coming from. I've had two different male coworkers call me sweetie, and from one it was clearly his way of trying to use a diminutive to puff himself up, which was pathetic. So I called him cupcake and he never did it again. Being called cupcake bothered him so much, it was the strongest sign he wasn't coming from the right place. The other guy called me sweetie, and I called him kitten. And thus began a tradition where everytime he came in, he'd call me some cutesie name like cupcake, cookie, sugar, etc., and he'd get it back from me. When he called me Scout though, I called him Boo and those stuck.

I had to read that three times, but I finally got the joke at the end.

 

[Vintage*Vixen]

Can't think of any compliments... but I would love to be introduced to some one with a "How do you do?"

 

[Dexter'sDame]

What a can o' worms!

As several Loungers said, context is everything. It's also about mutual respect.

My parents are from the South, but I grew up elsewhere, so I'm not that fond of people I don't know calling me terms of endearment. Of course the elderly are excused, and when I'm traveling in the South I "get it" and for the most part "do as the Romans do." But in 2009, unless they're very young, non-elderly men in the U.S. should have some awareness that many women don't like it, and that it's disrespectful to call someone a name they don't like.

A firm I worked for (in L.A.) had a male client who called me "Cupcake". All the women at the company hated him, because he said it in a way that let us know he knew he could get away with it.

Depending on the situation (such as with the very young ones who mistakenly think they're being cool), sometimes I give them a gentle reminder that "I'm sure you didn't mean anything by that, but..." Unless they've been rude or purposely embarrassed me, I try to get the point across without being rude or embarrassing them.

But, like another female Lounger said, in situations where the guy has gotten out of hand, I've defended myself...verbally, and as she did, I once slapped a guy who literally cornered me. (Not my proudest moment, but the male friends who were with me cheered.)

Creeps like those two make it difficult for the rest of you fabulous gentlemen!

All that said...if anyone has a problem with the "honey" in my signature line, I'm happy to change it.

 

[Dr Doran]

Girls who despise dorks aren't' worth your time. Personally, if a guy can't read/watch/actively discuss Lotr, Harry Potter,Starwars, and preferably have some knowledge of Redwall...well...it's either no-go or a teaching session.

Forget those girls.

I'd have to disagree with you on the worthwhileness of those girls. Plenty of worthwhile women despise dorks, Lord of the Rings, harry potter, and Star Wars. I married one. Luckily, I hate all those things too (except old Star Wars, for which I have a soft spot).

 

[Geesie]

Except that even in the Golden Era, screw also meant, well ... you know. Oh, and back then, not only the wind would blow. Them's old slang, boyo.


.

And Coke was named after its now-illegal "special ingredient".

 

[filfoster]

You can whistle, can't you?

I assume the jaunty 'Toots' is out as a familiar female appellation?

 

[ScionPI2005]

While i noticed this recently, i find that people in my day to day life do not like being called by their last names. I remember one of my former bosses corrected me, insisted on me using "george" rather than mr such and such, and if i referred to the customers by their last name rather than "hi how are you" or whatnot, they'd look at me funny. And while they all refer to me by my first name, i do find that annoying and would much rather be called mr. I don't know them, and i never gave them permission to refer to me in the familiar, but its impossible to really change that.

I've noticed this as well. From my childhood, my parents raised me to always address adults by their last name, and the appropriate title (Mr., Mrs., etc). Even in grade school, when I did this, I got the impression my friends and their parents thought it odd. More often than not, they would correct me and let me know I should just call them by their first names.

Of course, old habits die hard, and to this day, I still address those I do not consider myself to be on a first name basis with, as well as those who are older than me or in a higher position of respect, by their last name and title. Although, more often than not, even if it is my first time meeting them, they will get a flushed look on their face and ask me to just call them their first name.