"Here's looking at you, kid" and what might get you slapped

[Paisley]

This is -all- about context...


A friend calling me kid or babe or whatever...is a term of endearment.


A co-worker or boss calling me those names...is well out of line and then it is derogatory....just like a boss calling a jr. male member 'boy' would be....

You said it before I could.

 

[PrettySquareGal]

You said it before I could.

This is the point of my post- context, only I'm talking about then ("golden era") versus now.

 

[skyvue]

This is the point of my post- context, only I'm talking about then ("golden era") versus now.

But you can't limit the context to then vs. now; you have to include the relationship of the two people involved.

Even in the early Forties, I imagine that many women would have a problem being referred to as "kid" by a stranger, a store clerk, a boss or supervisor, but not by their boyfriends or husbands.

And it's pretty much the same today.

So, with all due respect, I think the argument you presented is in the original post in the thread is a flawed one.

 

[PrettySquareGal]

But you can't limit the context to then vs. now; you have to include the relationship of the two people involved.

Even in the early Forties, I imagine that many women would have a problem being referred to as "kid" by a stranger, a store clerk, a boss or supervisor, but not by their boyfriends or husbands.

And it's pretty much the same today.

So, with all due respect, I think the argument you presented is in the original post in the thread is a flawed one.

Agreed, although I wasn't presenting any arguments or facts, just my thoughts about the passing trends in what is acceptable and what is not, and inviting input. And yes of course what is appropriate or welcome in personal relationships differs from the professional, but it's flawed to state that an expression is independent of the times.

If you watch Mad Men and take it as an even somewhat accurate portrayal of the 60's you'll see that American office culture has changed, for example.

 

[docneg]

At the age of 27, working in an office supply store where I sometimes made deliveries, I was referred to as the "boy" and thought it natural, since the manager was in her 70s and had worked there 40-odd years. But it sure made me motivated to get out of there and have a little more social status.

 

[Mike K.]

I miss back when.

We got too complicated
It's all way over-rated
I like the old and out-dated
Way of life

Back when a hoe was a hoe
Coke was a coke
And crack's what you were doing
When you were cracking jokes
Back when a screw was a screw
The wind was all that blew
And when you said I'm down with that
Well it meant you had the flu
I miss back when

-Tim McGraw

 

[AmateisGal]

We got too complicated
It's all way over-rated
I like the old and out-dated
Way of life

Back when a hoe was a hoe
Coke was a coke
And crack's what you were doing
When you were cracking jokes
Back when a screw was a screw
The wind was all that blew
And when you said I'm down with that
Well it meant you had the flu
I miss back when

-Tim McGraw

I love this.

 

[JennyLou]

I have some friends who call me kid and I don't mind because they use it as a term of endearment. I haven't had anyone else but friends call me kid.

 

[Geiamama]

This may be slightly off topic but...

When I was a little girl I always called my friends parents, or indeed any adults known to me, Mr or Mrs <insert surname here>. It was a sign of respect and one that I insist my children show, even though their friends don't. I don't like being called by my first name, or worse still by a pet name, by a seven year old.

I don't mind being called a pet name by other adults though, depending on the tone in which it's said. "Hello little lady" can either be very sweet when accompanied by a welcoming smile or very disturbing when accompanied by a lecherous sneer.

 

[magnolia76]

I wish that "honey" was thrown around from men to women a little more. Back in the day it was nothing for a male friend to call you that (I always loved when Finn said it to Ally "Aw go out with him honey!" in he Notebook), just doesn't happen anymore.

Also when I'm out I would much prefer a smile and a light "Hi how are ya" than a disgusting undress me with your eyes "How you doin". The response you would get from me would be completely black and white between the two!

 

[Shangas]

This may be slightly off topic but...

When I was a little girl I always called my friends parents, or indeed any adults known to me, Mr or Mrs <insert surname here>. It was a sign of respect and one that I insist my children show, even though their friends don't. I don't like being called by my first name, or worse still by a pet name, by a seven year old.

I don't mind being called a pet name by other adults though, depending on the tone in which it's said. "Hello little lady" can either be very sweet when accompanied by a welcoming smile or very disturbing when accompanied by a lecherous sneer.

I admit to being shocked by this. When I was a child I always addressed my friends' parents as Mr and/or Mrs *Lastname*, without even being told by my parents. I just generally thought it was the right thing to do...generally since I didn't always know their first names.

I could not imagine chlidren today speaking to unfamiliar adults by their first name, without first being given permission. In my mind that sounds pretty darn rude.

 

[Viola]

A lot of old gentlemen (70+, often in fedoras) around here will casually call me upon meeting me on the street, things like babygirl. ("Babygirl, is this the stop for the 77?" etc.) Now, I don't mind being called babygirl by an old gentleman, but I still think its pretty funny.

I think its a lot less cute on some of the young guys, which I know is unfair, but such is life.

And I cannot abide Princess from men who don't know me.

 

[Mike K.]

it's flawed to state that an expression is independent of the times.

Context at the time certainly means a lot, but I agree that there is also a chronological context. Take the word GAY. Listen to any number of 1940s songs, take some movie lines or other quotes - the word is universally used to mean happy or cheerful. By the late 20th century the word gay had evolved to define a certain lifestyle. How many people in contemporary times now use the word in its 1940s definition?

There is such a thing as cultural evolution, which includes etymology. I find it equally interesting how many words/phrases have changed over time and how many have remained the same too.

 

[Cigarband]

I admit to being shocked by this. When I was a child I always addressed my friends' parents as Mr and/or Mrs *Lastname*, without even being told by my parents. I just generally thought it was the right thing to do...generally since I didn't always know their first names.

I could not imagine chlidren today speaking to unfamiliar adults by their first name, without first being given permission. In my mind that sounds pretty darn rude.

Well, I was a child in the 60s, and as I recall, what we called adults depended on our social context. Immediate family was always precede by title, i.e. Uncle Jack and Aunt Helen, Grandpa John and Grandma Irene, Cousin Ed and Cousin Alison. Our closest friends parents and close friends of my parents were called by their first names. The farther out of our social circle adults were, the more formal the terms of address became.

 

[Foofoogal]

Lenore,
Your welcome sugar. Stay awhile. Have a glass of sweet tea..lol

 

[Marc Chevalier]

We got too complicated
It's all way over-rated
I like the old and out-dated
Way of life

Back when a hoe was a hoe
Coke was a coke
And crack's what you were doing
When you were cracking jokes
Back when a screw was a screw
The wind was all that blew
And when you said I'm down with that
Well it meant you had the flu
I miss back when

-Tim McGraw

Except that even in the Golden Era, screw also meant, well ... you know. Oh, and back then, not only the wind would blow. Them's old slang, boyo.


.

 

[Talbot]

I was raised where everyone around me, ladies and gentlemen called everyone Sugar, Darlin, Honey. It was a term of endearment. I miss this so much.
I am so anti PC it hurts.

I work in an office with some very staid and proper women, and some women with very bawdy senses of humor.

Men would never get away with some of the things that are said. It can be a minefield at times......

 

[Lotta Little]

I dislike terms of endearment from anyone who is not actually dear to me. I would want to slap a strange guy in a bar who called me "baby." That said, certain people I know often call others "hon" or "babe" and even if I don't personally like those terms, it's a personality trait I accept in those friends of mine.

However, my mother, who is deceased, used to call me "Babygirl," and now I can't stand anyone else to call me that. I think of it as "hers."

 

[Tiller]

Well, I was a child in the 60s, and as I recall, what we called adults depended on our social context. Immediate family was always precede by title, i.e. Uncle Jack and Aunt Helen, Grandpa John and Grandma Irene, Cousin Ed and Cousin Alison. Our closest friends parents and close friends of my parents were called by their first names. The farther out of our social circle adults were, the more formal the terms of address became.

I was a child in the 80's, and I'd say the above was true for me as well. The only difference us when I said hello to one of my friends parents, or someone else it usually went something like.....

Me: "Hello Mr. Bruce."
Joe Bruce: "Please, Mr. Bruce was my father. Call me Joe."
Me: "Ok. Hi Joe."

Perhaps that is just my experience though [huh].

 

[Lily Powers]

There is a group of men at work that call me "kiddo." They carry badges and guns and joke with each other in ways that would send many people in other fields of work running to the nearest personnel director. I know it's not said to belittle me and I don't take offense at it. Maybe it doesn't bother me because "kiddo" is benign, almost parental in its connotation, where a "babe" or "honey" is more of a sexist term.