Help!!! I hate the "kiss hello"

[CharlieH.]

Well, like I mentioned on another thread earlier today, the kiss hello really gets in my nerves. To me, kissing a lady is no problem at all (heck, I don't think I could get enough of dat!). The ache lies in being forced into it and the overall phoneyness of the situation, like some of you already pointed out. I'd rather shake hands, bow or in a more formal situation, kiss madame's hand. Now, what ever happened to that perfectly good greeting of kissing a woman's hand? Is it too formal?

And Spatterdash's cookie idea doesn't sound so bad, either!

 

[LaMedicine]

To those who don't like kiss hellos, come to Japan lol lol
As a foreigner, you don't even need to bow, just extend your hand and that's fine. As a matter of fact, if you try the kiss-hello, you likely will get a punch in your nose.
For me, it's one of the following, depending on who. I bow deeply, or just incline my head in acknowledgement, wave my hand, or in case of foreigners extend my hand .
I don't mind, and do go for, the hug and peck on the cheek if it's someone I know very well, and belongs to the hug-kiss culture.

 

[Naama]

or in a more formal situation, kiss madame's hand.

I wish there would be more hand kissing! And bowing, I don't know why, but I like that
But I also have to say, I find it really strange that some people, who I know now since more than a year still shake hands with me and others, who I barely know kiss me on the cheeks. The strangest situation was when a guy, who I knew a bit better, wanted to shake my hand (we always shooked hands) and I said, it's a bit strange since it's so very formal and then he kissed me on my lips.....


Naama

 

[Matthew Dalton]

I loathe the "kiss hello", and Seinfeldian efforts on my part to stop doing it have had similar results to what he got.

I do like the bow, but I don't do it unless I really think I can pull it off.

I don't like any sort of false pleasantry, some of my peeves from others overall would be:

*Saying "Have a nice day!" as a reflex.
*Expecting people to smile when they don't feel like it.
*Asking how a person is, when you really don't want to know.

I think a lot of people these days have forgotten you can be polite and respectful to others in a social setting without taking part in phoney shows of affection and joy towards everyone.

 

[Nathan Flowers]

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Kissing anybody when greeting them is something that is absolutely not done where I live.

With me, men always get an extended hand to shake. I will shake hands with a lady, but only if she offers her hand first.

 

[mikepara]

Yeah! Its so phoney

It should be stamped out.
Once again its a 'Hollywood' air kiss gone mad. A nod's fine a hand shake at best but sorry don't go expecting kiss kisses from this guy unless your butt naked and invited.

 

[Spatterdash]

'Hollywood' air kiss.

Nice description. That falls into the same category as the 'public laugh', when someone makes a laughing noise but there's no crinkles near the eyes, no shaking shoulders, no sputter.

This thread really brings home the character of this Forum. Like oaths, no one wants to kiss unless they mean it. Some of us mean it more often than others but the standard is still adhered to. Good form, gang.

 

[Weston]

Perhaps I just made this up, but it was always taught to me that a gentleman is NEVER touched by any woman but his wife. This always seemed to me to include things like, oh say, kisses.

As a matter of form, I really dislike being touched by women at all, period, unless its my wife. Come to think of it, rather dislike being touched by men also, unless it's something like military training, where there's a necessity.

 

[LaMedicine]

Perhaps I just made this up, but it was always taught to me that a gentleman is NEVER touched by any woman but his wife. This always seemed to me to include things like, oh say, kisses.

As a matter of form, I really dislike being touched by women at all, period, unless its my wife. Come to think of it, rather dislike being touched by men also, unless it's something like military training, where there's a necessity.

Umm...not even your mother? Or sisters? Aunts? Grandma???? Daughters??????

 

[Twitch]

That's the same for me Rosie. The person must have earned the intimacy of the kiss. You don't just kiss acquaintences. Same with the hugging thing. Obviously any 2 people may have different feelings of friendship or comradery for one another so one may feel like hugging or kissing the other but he/she may not feel the same.

One person may like you more than you like them and they feel it's appropriate to hug or kiss when you don't. One one hand it's a bit of a compliment when you realize your dazzling personality has moved someone enough to respond with a hug or kiss!lol

 

[Siirous]

This is not done around Orlando that I have seen.

Men get a firm handshake, and ladies generally shake hands, but it's a much softer, gentle action.

The only person non-family that kissed my cheek was my friends sister when my roommates family came to visit. This is basically one of those "I'm a part of the family but not by blood and he's a part of mine but not by blood situation" And even then it was a quick peck that actually startled me

Rob

 

[Lauren]

No one around San Diego does it either. Here you're lucky to get a handshake lol but hugging is quite popular when saying good-bye.

I like the kiss hello thing. I think it's very European, but it does take me off-guard since I'm a native San Diegan... With close friends touching cheek to cheek and making a kiss is charming- but my one hesitation is that there may be those men who are not gentleman and are using it solely as an excuse to get close to a girl :rage:

 

[Marc Chevalier]

... it was always taught to me that a gentleman is NEVER touched by any woman but his wife. As a matter of form, I really dislike being touched by women at all, period, unless its my wife.

Weston is simply saying that he dislikes post-wedding touching by other women. He's not saying that he disliked being touched by women before he was married.

.

 

[Marc Chevalier]

.... but my one hesitation is that there may be those men who are not gentleman and are using it solely as an excuse to get close to a girl :rage:

And he may have a stubbly, scratchy beard. Ouch!

.

 

[Miss Neecerie]

See...it does not offend me, I got used to this style of greeting while in Brazil, which tends to follow more european customs.

It only becomes tedious and annoying when people are doing it to seem cool or more cosmopolitan then they are. This is the issue with say hollywood folks using it...etc..

In the right cultural framework, ie freinds from Spain or Brazil or France, its perfectly lovely and is not a 'kiss' like we Americans think of kissing.

 

[Feraud]

- but my one hesitation is that there may be those men who are not gentleman and are using it solely as an excuse to get close to a girl :rage:

A great point! I have seen young men approach and make physical contact with young ladies they do not know. Inappropriate to say the least. Sadly, the young ladies did not reply in an offended manner.

 

[Caledonia]

Context: Scottish

Handshake in all business situations. Not to shake in business - poor show. Not to shake in personal life when it's offered - poor show.

Hand raised in greeting, then extended to pat/fake punch the other person - acquaintance or friend you're not sure about.

Hug, ie in towards each other, arms round, no kissing - any friend or aquaintance you feel particularly warm to.

Hug with cheek kiss - friend or family you feel particularly warm to.

Full on kiss - hey! Personal stuff only! Mothers and grandmothers are particularly prone to trying lip to lip - that is yucky and to be discouraged!

Air kissing - accept or reject at your whim - it's only stupid posturing and often laughed at.

 

[mysterygal]

No one kisses on the cheek around here either. Everyone shakes hands, which I've learned is very telling about people, in just that simple shake. I like a strong firm handshake, not these barely hold on to your hand stuff.
hugs; I pretty much always let the other person initiate this, mostly because I feel this is a personal way of showing your affection towards another. Hugging, you're getting right into a person's personal space, which can make some people really uncomfortable. Me, I love a good hug, but I let the other decide on it.

 

[Marc Chevalier]

The Frenchmen and women who are b.c.b.g. ("bon chic bon genre") -- the Gallic version of "preppy" -- never actually kiss each other's cheeks. One cheek barely brushes the other (or maybe there's a millimeter of space between them). No kiss is made, no lips are puckered, no smacking sounds defile the air. Call it a cheek brush.


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[mysterygal]

One cheek barely brushes the other (or maybe there's a millimeter of space between them). No kiss is made, no lips are puckered, no smacking sounds defile the air. Call it a cheek brush.


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I see absolutely no point in this. Either you kiss the person full out on the lips or give them a hug.
wasn't this whole kiss the cheek thing started in France?