Glamour As Armour?

[TheKitschGoth]

On the glamour as armour theme, I've realised that almost all the women I most look up to are very glamourous, it's the confidence (whether that confidence causes the glamour or vice versa, I don't know) I do know in my case it's glamour that causes me to feel confident.

I got yelled* at once for saying that, because apparently using my appearance as a mask for my shyer character is totally wrong, and I'm apparently just being fake.

*it was online, so I got virtually yelled at lol

 

[BegintheBeguine]

It seems more like you figured out a good way to deal with your shyness. Good for you.

 

[scotrace]

An addition from the other "side"

This is not a girly thread, so...

Men do this all the time. Prior to a meeting with others or anytime a guy wants to dominate or be in a position to keep others in place, he'll often try to dress in a way that can throw others off a bit, or in a more military sort of way. I've heard men talk about this often. "Suiting up" or "putting on the armor."
"Shut them up at the doorway."

I really like "the stink eye."

 

[GOK]

Good point, Scott. This is what women did back in the 80s to affirm their authority and expertise in their careers...hence 'power dressing'. I see no reason why it should actually be any different for men. Besides, if we know we look good, it does give us confidence - and confident people are generally the ones that rise to the top.

There is also the fact that we are judged on our appearance. Whatever the rights and wrongs of this, it is a fact of life. Ergo, if one wants to command authority or give the appearance of being confident, one must look the part.

 

[AllaboutEve]

lol Time for a re-watch of 'The Women' and 'All About Eve' methinks...lol

I agree! There is always time for a rewatch of that!!!

I am afraid that I believe that for the most part women are their own worst enemies. When I leave the house glammed up I am never worried about hostility from men, it's only ever the hostility of other women that poses a potential problem for me.

It's interesting that so many of us are so inherently competetive. I have long held the belief that this is the driving force behind the fashion industry and the beauty industry. Not to say that this is the only reason we buy these products, but it would seem that 9 times out of 10 it is my female friends that will notice a new outfit of mine or a new hairstyle etc not any of my male collegues. So who are we really dressing for???

I would say that ultimately I wear glamourous clothing etc because I really enjoy it, it makes me fell good and I do it for myself, but is this the only reason???? Why do I want to be noticed and by whom?

I think that most of the women I have met including myself have been afflicted by the green eyed syndrome in varying degrees , (and I am fully prepared to be shot down in my tracks here) but I really do believe that it is an integral part of our biology.

This doesn't mean that we are all horrible people some of us have the strength of character to draw inspiration from a seeing another woman looking gorgeous. It's funny but all it takes sometimes is to talk to someone to break the ice and you will often find yourself swapping manicure tips and handbags in no time, which is far more productive that giving each other daggers across the room. When I see someone looking absolutely fabulous I think to myself , "I wish I could look like that" and then usually give it a try, my own way. (Just like having seen GOK's great new avatar!!! ) Is that competition or inspiration?

 

[mysterygal]

Eve, I completely agree. I find myself doing that same thing-a woman who I know more gorgeous than me in the room, yeah, I get a bit jealous, cause she's now getting the attention, and there's something that does bring out the competiveness in me. I also wonder though if some of this plays out in personality type. I know women who are not competitive at all, and well, then there's me, who is, in just about everything! This I still wonder if it is a fault or asset?[huh]
I do however, try to not make any evil eye, and behave myself

 

[JazzBaby]

I think a little competition is healthy - it helps us to improve ourselves. As Eve pointed out, seeing someone beautiful (like GOKs avater!) inspires us to emulate it, in our own way. But this kind of competition only works if we keep it too ourselves and not showing our envy of another beautiful woman by mistreating her - I think beauty isn't just a physical thing but also manifests itself in the way we treat others.

And naturally it isn't beautiful if we improve ourselves only to 'one-up' other woman, or have them envious of us. To me self-improvement is something done for self-worth and personal gratification.

I certainly find myself inspired by all you beautiful women on this site - in both your photos and avaters, and your well mannered and gracious posts.

 

[Fletch]

This is not a girly thread, so...

Men do this all the time. Prior to a meeting with others or anytime a guy wants to dominate or be in a position to keep others in place, he'll often try to dress in a way that can throw others off a bit, or in a more military sort of way. I've heard men talk about this often. "Suiting up" or "putting on the armor."
"Shut them up at the doorway."

When I need to do this, I go neatnik. Shiney shoes, fresh haircut, tie clasp, and everything possible black (except the tie). I also watch my posture and speak in complete sentences, a little lower and just a little louder than usual.

Mind you, I'm careful not to convey tension or a grudge. I don't stare people down, merely employ alert eye contact. I'm reasonable in discussion, but don't concede an inch unless there's absolutely no option.

If, OTOH, I'm compelled to show out and out disgust for someone or something, a lot of this goes out the window.

 

[AllaboutEve]

Oh mysterygal I'm the same!!!!I can be such a primadonna, and can also be a complete witch but then I usually find out the person I am seething with envy about is actually a really lovely person aswell as being a beauty and then I have a moment of intense personal shame about it all!!!!!lol lol

I try to behave myself too and am always attempting to make myself a better person with a somewhat more generous spirit.

Oh well, I may be the green-eyed witch of the west but at least I'm honest witch!!!! see you by the cauldron!!!!lol lol lol

 

[mysterygal]

Eve, I'm so glad I'm not alone!!!!lol
oh the guilt, yes, I hate it when that happens!

 

[GOK]

I can honestly say that there have only been a few times in my life when I have ever been jealous of someone else and it has never been because they have been better looking or more glam than I!! I don't know if it's because I am content to be who I am (that's not to say I am entirely happy with the way I look - who is?), or whether it's confidence (I doubt it!!) or whether it's because of the person I am but I just don't get jealous as a rule. Maybe I've just never seen anyone I've thought could be a serious threat to me...or perhaps I just don't see others as a threat? [huh]

However, I have often seen people and wished I looked as good as they did in something....but I've never ever been jealous of them. For example, I'd sell my granny for legs like MG's but I'm not in any way jealous of her. Perhaps it's just not in my nature to be envious (although considering some of the very private thoughts I am capable of, I doubt it!!).

Love the new av, Fletch - very nice.

fftopic: Eve, where in Suffolk are you? I used to live in Southwold as a child.

 

[Mojito]

I don't tend to feel jealous as such (i.e. a negative emotion of envy)...I grew up with an exceptionally beautiful and extremely socially adept older sister...had there been any contempt, cruelty or indifference on her part towards me, it might be different. Instead, she is a gentle, kind and loving person. Although we were very different as children, we had a mutual respect, love and admiration for each other, and have only grown closer. My mother, too, was a stunningly beautiful woman in her youth, and is still lovely - as well as kind, loyal and intelligent.

With such positive models of style and glamour, I learned to regard stylish, glamorous and beautiful people as I would anything else I admire aesthetically. I tend to have a slightly detached attitude to the world around me anyway...I regard it from a bit of a distance. So when I see a very, very lovely woman, I would (usually!) no more envy her than I would a piece of lovely art.

 

[GOK]

I don't tend to feel jealous as such (i.e. a negative emotion of envy)...I grew up with an exceptionally beautiful and extremely socially adept older sister...had there been any contempt, cruelty or indifference on her part towards me, it might be different. Instead, she is a gentle, kind and loving person. Although we were very different as children, we had a mutual respect, love and admiration for each other, and have only grown closer. My mother, too, was a stunningly beautiful woman in her youth, and is still lovely - as well as kind, loyal and intelligent.

With such positive models of style and glamour, I learned to regard stylish, glamorous and beautiful people as I would anything else I admire aesthetically. I tend to have a slightly detached attitude to the world around me anyway...I regard it from a bit of a distance. So when I see a very, very lovely woman, I would (usually!) no more envy her than I would a piece of lovely art.

Well said Mojito! :eusa_clap

 

[Paisley]

I've sometimes been jealous of people's intelligence, but not their looks. Judge Judy has it right, I think: "beauty fades, but dumb is forever."

 

[Emmababy]

I think i definitely use glamour as armour. I'm agoraphobic so whenever i go out i lke to look my best, knowing that whatever people throw at me, i don't have to worry about my appearance. Make up is my war paint

 

[mysterygal]

You know how things can fly through your brain at warp speed? It's kind of the way it goes with this...A beautiful woman enters the room, I feel the twang of envy, kick myself in the butt and all is well.
With the intelligence thing, I feel this works just the same for women as it does for men...some people are intriguing until they open their mouth, then it's all over. Personally, a person who's a jerk or a snob becomes REALLY unattractive real fast no matter how perfect their features are.

 

[AllaboutEve]

fftopic: Eve, where in Suffolk are you? I used to live in Southwold as a child.[/QUOTE]


I'm not far away from Southwold, near to Harleston. I love Southwold, especially the Adnams Brewery!! We are in London most of the time but I love nothing more than to get away!
What a lovely place to grow up in! I buy quite a lot of vintage linen from there too!

 

[Nightshade]

Usually if girls are staring or giving me dirty looks, I wink at them or blow them a kiss. I'm a very open, honest person, and if a girl looks good, she looks good. Not better than me or worse. I've been a waitress and a bartender, so I've had plenty of crappy people to deal with. But it just shows me how good of an actress I am. No matter how horrible the people are, you have to see them all the way to the check, and that can be an eternity! I try to compliment girls and guys when I can. There are many times I wish I could look like someone, or have hair like theirs, so on, but I never am mean to them. I usually walk right up to them and tell them what I like about them, and ask where they got something. A few people give me a dirty look and walk away, but most light up with joy, and I know I've made their day, and, in return, I get good advice, store names, or even a friend. I think people need to be less hatefull over all. It's energy wasted on something trivial. And just so you all know, I'm glad I've finally found intelligent people online to talk to. Thanks