Glamour As Armour?

[Folly]

Does anyone fall back on a bit of glamour as armour?

Over Christmas we were invited to my mum's for tea.
I said yes before I found out my brother was going to be there with his girlfriend. She's never warmed to me and will sit and just stare at me without saying a word and will ignore my hello, will not thank us for gifts and just smirks if ever I say anything

So, as I had already said yes, I decided to arm myself with my stand-by thought process - WWAD (What Would Audrey Do)? So, I wore my knee length LBD, low heeled black mock croc Mary Jane shoes and my new (black) Jackie O swing jacket plus little (black) day gloves. I pinned my hair up and was ready to go.
I knew I was wearing a lot of black, but then my family wear a lot of black, so I knew I was okay.

My brother's girlfriend, sat there in her sweatshirt and combat trousers with trainers and proceeded to stare at me the entire time, burning her eyes into me all the time I was there! But I had purposelly dressed up as I felt I needed the armour of glamour to combat this dreadful person and if I may say so, her complete lack of dress sense.

I felt so much braver being knowing I looked good, but it doesn't always work mind you, I'm still stinging from the teenage girl laughing maniacally at me in a shop last summer because I was wearing a hat and dress while she wore the uniform of cropped parka and jeans with boots (in June!) :rage:

 

[TheKitschGoth]

I do the same.

I think partly it's that when people stare they are staring at the clothes rather than me, because I'm actually very very shy.

Partly it's that when I'm glammed up I feel like I'm playing a character, so you invent yourself as this super confident version of yourself, and it's just easier to deal with awkward situations like that.

 

[Folly]

So true! I'm very shy, but once dressed up, I feel entirely different and take on almost a new persona. Maybe the clothes give me the confidence to be the real me, I don't really know.

 

[JazzBaby]

I work in a fashion boutique (chain store thingy) and we recently got a range of designer wear in that I was selected to be in charge of. I usually dress fairly casually in work - jeans and flats make it much easier to carry piles of clothes around - but the day of the launch I was nervous as I knew we'd have a 'higher class' (for want of a better phrase) of clientele - our usual customers are an acceptable level of casual. So I made a particular effort that day to set my hair, and wore a tweed pencil shift dress with a brown chiffon Vivien Leigh style shirt (puffy sleeves and huge bow at neck) with heels and red lipstick. I knew I'd just feel really uncomfortable wearing casual clothes while trying to sell this designer wear to well dressed glamourous women, and needed to make sure I was on their level of grooming in order to gain their respect (which was especially true as it was a much older crowd and I didn't want them to think I was some sloppy student).

But if I wore this ensemble on a regular day at work, I'd look and feel so out of place!

 

[GOK]

<snip> She's never warmed to me and will sit and just stare at me without saying a word and will ignore my hello, will not thank us for gifts and just smirks if ever I say anything

My brother's girlfriend, sat there in her sweatshirt and combat trousers with trainers and proceeded to stare at me the entire time, burning her eyes into me all the time I was there!

I find that whole notion of disliking a person simply because she is another woman, really quite bizarre. I'm not saying this is the case with your brother's g/f, Folly, but in my experience it frequently has been.

I've come across a few fellow females that have disliked me purely because they consider themselves top-dog in a particular social circle (usually they've been the only female or the most chatty, most attractive etc.), or because they've seen me as a threat (to what, I don't know) or as competition (why?). I don't so much hide behind glam-armour but I'm willing to admit that knowing I look good (even if it is only in my opinion!) gives me an added confidence boost that helps weather the storm, so to speak. (I'm also sufficiently comfortable with myself not to be bothered about whether someone likes me or not.)

 

[Sunny]

I haven't recently been in a competitive (or combative!) position with anyone. However, I often take special care in dressing for what I know will be a tough day.

Just yesterday: I usually get up at 5:30 and leave between 6:30 and 6:45. For some reason I turned my alarm off when it first went up. I honestly couldn't remember what day it was! I woke up right at 6:00. I just raced through my routine, but I still took the time to wear one of my favorite outfits (powder blue sheer blouse with scarf tie and drapey sleeves, grey wool skirt, seamed stockings and peeptoe pumps). I put my hair up in an elaborate-looking way and put on red lipstick. It would've been a little easier to grab a nice tee, denim skirt, and boots, but I wouldn't have felt as confident and happy all day. I get a real lift from dressing nicely.

I also find that I work harder and more conscientiously when I dress nicer. I started doing that my last year at college; it was amazing how much better I paid attention in class. My mind was more focused on what I was doing and less on merely enduring classtime.

Glamour, for me, is armor in the general sense that it supports my self-confidence and strengthens me to face people, work, and circumstances.

 

[Folly]

I find that whole notion of disliking a person simply because she is another woman, really quite bizarre. I'm not saying this is the case with your brother's g/f, Folly, but in my experience it frequently has been.

I've come across a few fellow females that have disliked me purely because they consider themselves top-dog in a particular social circle (usually they've been the only female or the most chatty, most attractive etc.), or because they've seen me as a threat (to what, I don't know) or as competition (why?). I don't so much hide behind glam-armour but I'm willing to admit that knowing I look good (even if it is only in my opinion!) gives me an added confidence boost that helps weather the storm, so to speak. (I'm also sufficiently comfortable with myself not to be bothered about whether someone likes me or not.)

In her case, this is exactly it, I'm sure. She occasionally does the same to my sister too. I thought it was because I was the older sister and rather elusive .. she has no idea at all where I'm coming from. I rather like the air of mystery I appear to have I swan in occasionally, wearing a LBD and Jackie O jacket or Victorian style boots, petticoats and long skirts lol

Ah ha! New Olympic Sport - how many people can you confuse by not wearing sports gear and trainers in the space of half an hour, and ........ Go!

 

[JazzBaby]

I find that competitive thing very irritating. Like you GOK, I really don't care what people think but a lot of women seem to get their backs up about other women for no particular reason, especially (I find) if they're in a relationship and you're not. I'm single, and I've had women with boyfriends glare at me like I was some kind of man-hungry predator

I've noticed a little competition arising between myself and my other single friends too, especially when we're out on the town

Can't we all just get along?

 

[Folly]

Women used to be threatened by me all the time, until that is, they get to know me then they see that I'm no threat whatsoever.

It's me that is untrusting of other women now after a so called friend of mine made no effort to hide the fact she was after my husband.

 

[RetroModelSari]

Some women just are acting stupid. Instead of working against each other we should support each other! Just like here in the forum where we share our interests and beauty-secrets. The world would be a better place without catty women.

 

[GOK]

Some women just are acting stupid. Instead of working against each other we should support each other! Just like here in the forum where we share our interests and beauty-secrets. The world would be a better place without catty women.

:eusa_clap :eusa_clap :eusa_clap

I suspect a lot of it boils down to insecurity in most cases, which is a shame because those that behave like that just end up missing out on so much. However, no matter how much we may try to understand and be patient with people, eventually they just alienate themselves (or do they alienate us??), which of course leads to more of the same behavioural patterns. It's really is a vicious circle. And a shame.

Of course, some people are just mean, end of story! lol

 

[fortworthgal]

I can't say that I've ever used fashion as a defense mechanism.

 

[Miss Dottie]

I don't know if I'd call it glamour, but more like a way to help boost my self confidence. Like wearing something extra pretty on a job interview.

I do remember my father telling me a story about when he started working as the first black journalist at Newsweek. He wore a suit every day of his career and said is was his armour to protect him against many of the racial slurs he had to deal with.

 

[JazzBaby]

I don't know if I'd call it glamour, but more like a way to help boost my self confidence. Like wearing something extra pretty on a job interview.

I do remember my father telling me a story about when he started working as the first black journalist at Newsweek. He wore a suit every day of his career and said is was his armour to protect him against many of the racial slurs he had to deal with.

What a great man he sounds. Nothing makes me angrier than discrimination :rage:

 

[mysterygal]

There will always be women who are stuck in that high school mentality of what I non affectionately call, pissing contests. I tend to try to be as polite as possible but also keep the interaction as limited as I possibly can since building any kind of relationship seems kind of pointless. I seriously hope your brother isn't serious about this girl!
dressing up: I find dressing up does a lot for me. Especially those days where I look into the mirror (ok this is going to sound REALLY concieted) but go, 'dang, I look good' almost gives you the confidence to take on the world. It seems to boost the self esteem and also others around you tend to treat you with a little extra courtesy.

 

[Paisley]

One reason I like to always leave the house looking great is that older men won't try to cozy up to me. They'll look, they might even give me a compliment, but that's all.

As for the icy look from women, in my case, it's almost always from a dowdy woman.

I just read in the book What Would Jackie Do? that if women don't give you the icy up-and-down, your look is over and it's time to change it.

 

[GOK]

I just read in the book What Would Jackie Do? that if women don't give you the icy up-and-down, your look is over and it's time to change it.

LOL - that's fantastic! One of my friends always says she knows she has it right when the men look and the women whisper! lol

 

[Harp]

I'm single, and I've had women with boyfriends glare at me like I was some kind of man-hungry predator

...my kind of woman.

 

[JazzBaby]

...my kind of woman.

lol I must learn to control myself! lol lol lol

 

[Harp]

lol I must learn to control myself! lol lol lol

...It's me Irish side, darlin'....