Funeral arrangements

[Cousin Hepcat]

I want a Jazz funeral. My death should warrant a parade.

What's good enough for Lady Day & Lionel Hampton (MP3, 1949) is good enough for me.

 

[CanadaDoll]

What really gets me is when other cars take the opportunity presented by a pause in the procession to CUT IN!

No no no no no. That's just creepy.

I think that's bad luck isn't it! [huh]

 

[happyfilmluvguy]

What's good enough for Lady Day & Lionel Hampton (MP3, 1949) is good enough for me.

You'll need a preacher that sounds and looks like Sammy David Jr!

 

[Dapper Dan]

I plan on making a videotaped will bequething my entire earthly estate to whoever blurts out my name the fastest.

 

[Undertow]

Cremate me. Spread my ashes in one of the parks where I grew up. Celebrate but don't spend anything on me - believe me, I won't mind. I try not to think about the rest. (Did you like my bad pun?)

 

[The Shirt]

Has anyone read "Stiff"? Very interesting information on practices after death. Creeped me out terribly in some cases - made me laugh out loud in others. I will be very specific now about my donation requirements though. I'm just not too keen on the idea that if donated I may end up as being a test to see how long I take to rot in the trunk of a car or the like.
I have very specific instructions to my BFF though. She must beeline it directly to my home, find the secret location of my journals and take them far away from anywhere my family may find them. She's allowed to chuckle at them - I just don't want it getting in the wrong hands.

I love the idea of being mixed with my pooches ashes. I read something about a new idea of becoming "human mulch". I kind of like that idea. Just have a giant party with lots of dark beer and loud music. Make the neighbors mad one last time then throw me in the meat grinder after you take the parts you want (not my eyes though!) and stick me underneath a good maple tree.

 

[Foofoogal]

I'm opting for cremation and have one of my daughters spread half from atop the Mayan pyramid at Palenque Mexico and the other daughter gets to dump the rest over Wild Bill Hickok's gravesite in Deadwood S.D

Very interesting choices Twitch. Would you like to expand on why these? Especially the Hickok one?

I want the regular funeral but nothing fancy at all. My whole family has the bad habit or good however you look at it that we laugh at the worst times. When we went to pick out stuff for our mama me and my 2 sisters and 1 brother ended up rolling on the floor nearly by the goofy sober shpill of the funeral guy. Sounded so much like a used car salesman trying to put the biggest scam on us about leakage and stuff. It got us thru I think.
The best funeral I ever attended was my MIL. Everyone got to get up to tell something about her. So easy going but respectful as well. I want that also.
Whatever anyone wants should be order of the day.

(I knew a guy whose mama was donated to Science and they lost her somewhere.) No thanks.

 

[Joie DeVive]

If you are into that sort of thing, donation to science would be really appreciated now, at least in this state. I just heard a radio news bit that talked about how there weren't enough cadavers to go around for students, in part because tissue buying companies were getting them first.

As for me, I want the standard box in the ground funeral. The only thing that I am at all insistent on is that I want a real stand-up headstone. Personally, I can't abide those stupid flat stones that they just mow over. Darn it, you're going to have to mow around me! I know, it's an odd thing to get in a twist over, but it's a thing for me. I'm so set about it, that my hubby and I are actually considering buying plots now in the old part of a cemetery. [huh]
Other than that, I want a funeral where people cry, and then a reception with a great party. That's how it always was on my Dad's side, and I loved it. It allowed people to grieve, and then the rest of the day was spent on good memories, good food, and good company. What a way to go out!

 

[Foofoogal]

I want the standard box in the ground funeral.

Seriously be careful when you buy if you do. I know it may mean you have to buy at least 3 plots to get one. Check out fine print always.

 

[Joie DeVive]

Seriously be careful when you buy if you do. I know it may mean you have to buy at least 3 plots to get one. Check out fine print always.

*Scratches head* That sounds counter-intuitive... Because of the rock? Or just because of the area needed for burial? I believe you, but doesn't it seem like it should be one plot=one body??

 

[alexandra]

I want to be buried and I want a big tombstone for all my many fans to visit and mourn me. Also I wan a giant funeral where everyone talks about how awesome and hilarious I was. And I want a video on a giant screen of me being awesome and hilarious to confirm it.

Ideally though, I will learn the secret to spontaneous combustion. Then, I will announce that I will be performing in one final production. It will be a huge event and everyone will come to see the play. The lights will go down and I will walkon stage in a sequined dress. Silence. Then I burst into flames. The end.

 

[freebird]

I'm surprised no one wants a wake. lol

 

[Josephine]

I want to be cremated. Not sure if I want an open casket service, but if I do have one, I want a rented casket or the like, I'm not spending $5,000 on a satin lined oak box just for show. I'd like a headstone with all sorts of info on it for genealogical purposes, I just don't know if there is room in the family plot for a stone vs a flush stone type thing. And I will write into my will that Amazing Grace will NOT be played at my service or I WILL haunt somebody!!

 

[The Shirt]

Seriously be careful when you buy if you do. I know it may mean you have to buy at least 3 plots to get one. Check out fine print always.


*Scratches head* That sounds counter-intuitive... Because of the rock? Or just because of the area needed for burial? I believe you, but doesn't it seem like it should be one plot=one body??

Well in order for my mother to get an upright headstone - she had to purchase 2 plots. One for her and one for my father who had passed. The stone took up 2 plots worth of space I guess. However if one wanted a simple flat stone it was a one to one proposal. This was a newer cemetary though - older ones may not be the same. I suppose it depends on how many they are trying to squeeze into the land available.

 

[Foofoogal]

I am near Houston and my dad did have to buy 3. Being a depression era guy he wasn't happy about it. My sister did have a friend who owned a stone company in another town so we were able to order it and they had to let us use it where my mom and dad are.
I am sure it is not the same everywhere but good to ask as like I said it upset my dad greatly at the time.
Little things become huge in time of grief. Believe me.

 

[Miss 1929]

I have given it some thought!

All this is fantasy of course, so the money is no object. Lord knows what I will do if I have to pay for it!
I want an open casket if I am still cute enough/not mangled by whatever killed me, I will be dressed in my wedding dress (which would have to be cut up the back to get it on, so it's probably the only way I can wear it again!). Lots of pretty white flowers. Bach's Brandenburg #3. 'Youkali Tango" by Kurt Weill, as played by the Kronos Quartet (also was wedding music for us).
No embalming, just lots of makeup. And a no nonsense cremation, but put my ashes in a nice Deco urn of some sort.
Then everyone out the door and walking behind the Preservation Hall Jazz Band playing St. James Infirmary, until they arrive at the party, where we will have masses of dancing, music, stories to share, and several casks of Maker's Mark.
I want my ashes split between a scattering in the Pacific of the coast of Mendocino, and the rest to go with my husbands' wherever he wants his scattered (some place in Mexico).
I do not want to donate the whole carcass, but they can take anything useful like eyes (which are myopic) and stuff like that. But I would like to be recognizable to my friends if they want to see me. I think it is really important to see our dead loved ones, otherwise it really doesn't give you closure. But that's just me...

 

[zaika]

God willing, i'll have the standard Orthodox Christian funeral. it is the most beautiful and complete funeral rite i've witnessed so far...and since i'm Orthodox it's kinda what i have to do anyway.

i'll be buried either at my church, or a cemetary wherever i died. i don't know if anyone will want to bother with shipping my body anywhere.

other than the Orthodox funeral, whatever the living wants to do afterwards is up to them. lol

 

[dhermann1]

I want my body preserved as much as possible, maybe even mummified, so that one day, hopefully hundreds or even thousands of years from now, some 35th century archaeologist will be able to dig me up and study me. I want a vast panoply of indestructible grave goods interred with me, that will give as accurate as image as possible of the world I live in.
I'd like my remains to be set up as an exhibit in a museum, maybe on another planet! And I want people (or whatever future human/machine organism replaces us) to stare at my lifeless eyes and wonder who I was and what I thought and felt, thousands of years ago.

 

[Nashoba]

According to my husband's will, he wishes to be buried at Arlington (if he dies in combat) or if that is not possible the National Cemetery of my choosing with all the military honors accorded to him. I will be buried wherever he is. The service is up to the living.

 

[Midgetqueen]

I've already told my boyfriend and my parents that I want to be cremated and then incorporated into a pyrotechnics display. And that if I have one of those long, arduous paid obituaries that details my whole life, or if my funeral is boring, I'm coming back and haunting someone! They're to hire a stand-up comedian for the eulogy, if necessary, because I want to leave 'em laughing.