Formalizing/Small Pleasures?

[Foofoogal]

Delia's Gone
that is sweet you take such care of your honey. I do make coffee every morning for mine but he doesn't like breakfast. I do.
I also iron him a shirt every morning. I could send them in but I like doing it myself. Sometimes when it is raining or a cold day I get really get into ironing mode. I enjoy it.
As a young teen I actually made money ironing.
.50 shirt and $1.00 for pants. I remember.

 

[BinkieBaumont]

"Last week in my office, we were thinking of ways to ask co-workers in other Departments of the Organisation to visit & meet us and see what we do.

I Suggested "Afternoon Tea" so each day this week we are inviting guests to "Take Tea" with us between 3.00pm and 4.00pm its Wednesday and the crowd is getting B I G G E R each afternoon.

We all take turns in creating a "Tableaux" mine has been "Art Deco" with my Heatmaster Teaset. co-workers are arriving with their own inferior tea in chipped mugs, only to have it whisked, away, and replaced by "Teacup and saucer" in fine china, and the question milk or lemon?

"Oh look "Sugar Tongs" was one delighted squeal ,ooooh! A 3 tiered cake stand, was another remark "

We are having a guess the smile contest with prizes!!! such fun!!!

hope to post the pics on the weekend

Guess the smile competition

 

[Jennifer Lynn]

Wow...that's a nice spread! The last time I had high tea was at the Brown Palace Hotel in Denver, CO, and before was the Willow Tea Room in Glasgow. I'd love to do that again, even if just a setup at home for friends and I.

I have a few rituals that I take time to do daily, and coffee or tea in a nice cup and saucer is one. It calms me, and sets the mood for my day (usually a work day). A bath with candles, a light siesta with a fluffy blanket (and kitty curled up), dinner by candlelight using my mother's dishes or a bike ride around my newish surroundings (bought my first home recently) are things I do to make myself feel good.

 

[katiemakeup]

Tea tastes so much better in pretty cups!

 

[Foofoogal]

I can hardly look at this thread anymore Binkie due to your yummy pictures.
Those cherry cheesecake things are calling my name.

 

[John in Covina]

Formalize, an interesting verb. I always think of the idea that countries formalize relations or a treaty. Formalize negotiations. To take from a behind the scenes approach and make them real with all the pomp and circumstance which leads to Ceremony. Like participation in the Tea Ritual. All of this turns the ordinary into the extraordinary. For some, liturgical worship at church can be like that when it's a special Saint's Day or Feast Day and the regular Service gets kicked up a notch or two into High Church, processionals, chants, incensce all marking the out of the ordinary celebration.

I also thought about the idea of "using the good stuff." The good china, the good cologne, my good suit or the good whiskeyall of the reserved for special occasion stuff. It's true that sometimes we need to just break out and use the special occasion stuff and make our own special occasions to step into a higher plane of existance. Sometimes we need to remember we can make new traditions too.

 

[Foofoogal]

exactly John.
One side response I have had growing older is I notice in the obits people my age.
One definite reason to break out the good stuff.
I have a friend that is in remission from breast cancer and it was a hard road. I have never seen anyone almost suck up life now. I think she is afraid of missing one moment of it.

Unless one has been under a rock this year it makes me really feel for people more. I wish we had fancy tea parties in towns all over the world to make people feel special at least once in their lives who never get to experience special things.
I love that show Extreme Makeover home edition. I get thrilled for people every time I watch it.

 

[Dexter'sDame]

Valuable lessons in grand small things

In college, I worked for the wealthy widow of a publisher. Her winter home was in the town where I lived.

Despite having been part of the Golden Era most of us Loungers wish we were part of (she'd married sometime between 1938 -'40), and having several U.S. presidents and assorted royalty in her social circle, neither she nor her home(s) was what you might expect. She wasn't eccentric in any way, but was extremely modest. One had to look closely to "see" the wealth, if you will.

She carried herself elegantly but wore simple, cotton housedresses of the type you'd see on a 1940's housewife. (This was in the 1980's.) Her house was not faded or shabby in any way, and in fact the decor was crisp...but dated 20 years behind the times, with the curtains, sofa and chairs all done in the same matchy floral and '60's style of upholstery. I never even noticed the Ming vase in the livingroom until I had to help prepare its insurance claim after an earthquake, because even it was so understated.

On a daily basis, she and her housemate used inexpensive store-brand paper napkins, and dinnerware, cutlery and glassware you'd find in any Target store. The china, Waterford crystal, and Irish linens were all in the dining room and were used only occasionally...with one exception:

In the same cabinet with the everyday dishes, flatware, and paper napkins were two cups, two saucers, and two dessert plates in a notoriously expensive china pattern, along with two sterling spoons and forks. Recognizing the china pattern, I was terrified of breaking a piece of it.

She and her housemate used them for cookies and tea...from teabags! (Teabags were easier; she was arthritic.)

Walking through the kitchen and seeing those expensive china cups sitting on the counter with used teabags on their saucers always made me smile. I learned a lot from that great lady.

 

[Edward]

I've read this thread a few times - I'm sure I have many rituals that I don't even think about. I will have more concious rituals of my own once I have my flat properly sorted: I am currently at the front end of an extensive reworking. The new kitchen went in a few months ago, and I am now in the process of clearing out as much clutter as I can, before I get to the stage of extensive redecoration. The final version of my lounge will involve a large amount of shelving (at last an end to piles and piles of books, DVDs and CDs on the floor!), a large 50" plasma TV and a new stereo system. The TV will be hidden behind closing doors in order that it will not be a feature of the room when not in use. I intend to put that to good use by having regular film evenings with friends - already in the planning (although they won't take place for probably a year!) are Watchmen and Casablanca nights. I find watching a film on disc a much more personal and relaxing experience than watching TV; I'm not dependent on any schedule, I'm cut off from the world and in my own space. I enjoy that far more. I will be buying a few old-style deck chairs to add to my lounge also - they'll be stored down the back of the sofa most of the time, to come out when I have a few folks in and require extra seating. Much nicer than bringing in the upright table-chairs from my kitchen-dining room. On these film nights, one thing that will become a staple will be the showing of trailers. I plan to figure out some way to copy all the trailers I have on my DVD collection across to individual digital files so that I an create suitable trailer discs to be played before each film. viewing the traielrs in the cinema is an important part of the whole occasion for me.

My new stereo system is already in the building; on its way is a Rega turntable with an RB-300 tonearm. My current turntable hasn't seen service in a while, and I am very much looking forward to getting back into playing records on vinyl. There is something appealing about the extra effort it involves, the ritual, of vinyl. I intend to regularly treat myself to a relaxing up of tea accompanied by a playing of a yet-to-be-acquired vinyl copy of Carmen. That and to listen to the radio more, to find shows that I want to follow (BBC Radio is full of wonderful content, especially comedy), and to spend more time with that as my primary entertainment medium.

In terms of the rituals I have now.... I do shave as many mornings as possible with a safety razor, brush, the works. Very much enjoy the ritual, as well as the superior results. Alas, it doesn't work for my skull (tired it once, with bloody results - too hard to get the angle right), but that too has its own ritual in the way I do it, and I enjoy the 'clean' feeling I have when it is finished. If I am going out for the night, there is a whole ritual - cup of tea, shower or bath, shave, selection of clothing, tea, dressing - all accompanied by a suitable musical choice to set an appropriate mood for the evening. This ritual, of course, may be compressed depending upon time available....

Every evening, after finishing my meal, I will sit down with a cup of tea, usually accompanied by one or other of the cats. Indeed, those girls dictate a number of my evening rituals, which incorporate such glamourous tasks as feeding them and changing the litter tray. They also like to come over and climb on me for a fuss every so often, then return to doing their own thing. Greta especially feels the need to compete with the laptop, so often she is involved in eBay, email, or even the Lounge. She did once manage to update my Facebook status by herself. Didn't make much sense, but kitty paws aren't the best for typing. I do enjoy time spent with the cats (and as others I know have found, it is extremely therapeutic and good for my depression), and try to spend sometime every day just with them as opposed to doing anything else in particular.

Oh, another one - not sure if this constitutes a ritual, but one of the things I always make sure I have with me is a book. As a Londoner I spend a lot of time on the tube, and make the concious choice to use the time to read more. My evening really begins when I leave the office, embark the train, and open my book to where I last left off.... At present, I am well into The Great Gatsby (again), while awaiting Amazon sending me the next in the True Blood series. I get through quite a mix of fiction, non-fiction, highbrow and low brow that way.

Question Time is a Thursday night ritual for me. It is a BBC panel show, dedicated to politics and current affairs. Each week there is a panel of five guests - one each from the main political parties, accompanied often by journalists, and figures from the media more generally (Jarvis Cocker, Boy George and David Mitchell have all been on the show). Questions are asked by the audience, often relating to events which happened only within the past few hours if big news has broken that day. None of the panellists know any of the questions in advance. Very interesting stuff, even if I often am to be found screaming at the TV in frustration - not the most relaxing of rituals I allow!

 

[Mrs. Merl]

This thread is very near and dear to my heart really, it in so many ways is a great example of my entire theory on living. I spend an inordinate amount of time on this subject actually. In fact, it is generally what my blog is about. If I didn't suffer with dial-up I would have more of what I believe in on my blog, but I am slowed up a lot!! I shall have to contribute some of what I do!

 

[Wally_Hood]

May I add another "formalization" post? One ritual that I enjoy is the setting out the night before the clothes for the next day. I bought a suit valet for that express purpose, and selecting the suit, shirt, cufflinks when apropos, tie, shoes and socks has become a part of the week day evening routine. P'raps I'm too focused, but I enjoy this pattern.

 

[Foofoogal]

Wally, your thread made me think of another thing I am doing that is small but makes me feel good.
I have been rounding up those hangers that have silk or satin on them for my nicer clothing. Some new but some I find vintage.
I like to put the color of the item with the color of the hanger.
I read the book about Joan Crawford. No wire hangers for me. lol
It is a small thing but...

 

[Mrs. Merl]

I am doing generally the same thing with hangers. Mine all started when I got married. When my mom was making my dress I decided that an ordinary hanger would simply not do. So I purchased a lovely set of wooden ones for the occasion. And now I am slowly replacing all of the junk hangers in my life for appropriate ones. Proper suit hangers, heavy wooden coat hangers, lovely lady-like satin ones for my girly item, and so on. Also, being a professional organizer, I find this process most helpful in that when you put clothing on functional hangers you fight with the clothes in the closet a lot less. The coats don't bend or break the junk hangers, the drapey items don't slip off of hangers with straight arms, and your trousers don't end up wrinkled in the bottom of the closet if you have well made trouser or suit hangers! You feel you are treating your clothes right and you have less headache!

 

[Lillemor]

I don't try to plan anything formal, romantic or themed. That's just setting myself up for disappointment!

I guess I really did that today. I hate baking but wanted some cozy time with my boys so off for a walk to go to the supermarket for ingredients, thought we'd enjoy the Fall scenery at the same time. The trouble already started there and I usually don't have problems with my boys in public. Well, none that can't be explained away by their disabilities.

I was completely worn out when the biscuits and scones were baked. I didn't enjoy the baking, the boys lost interest, and by the time I had everything ready, I just threw it all on the table in exhaustion and told everyone to help themselves! Ironically, I'd actually made the effort to set the table in a informal/cozy Fall style. Obviously not for my boys pleasure because they wouldn't care. This was just done for myself. Such a small task which I should be able to handle with a smile compared to some of the stuff I deal with on a regular basis and I don't blame any parent with none-disabled children for not understanding why this would make me collapse emotionally and why I couldn't pull myself together.

No, they didn't sense that their mother didn't enjoy the baking and that's not why so many little things ticked them off today, they don't sense in that way their little "mischiefs" weren't unusual either, but it was too much with baking, high expectations I had to the situation, etc.

They ate everything though and they walked away from the table smiling and saying this was so much fun.

So, though I'm a homemaker, there's no ritual baking in this house! I'm not that kind of a homemaker. I've stopped making excuses and I've stopped trying. The thought of baking and inviting people to enjoy it causes feelings of stress and displeasure.

Small pleasures is the every day stuff without any unexpected glitches. Forget the formal or occassional stuff!

Yes, I'm in a really bad mood right now and my above post may just reflect that and not a general attitude.lol

 

[guellimus]

I moved into a new apartment for the year with new roommates, cause my last one was a total slob, and we've made it our goal to keep our apartment as classy and formal as possible.

My buddy inherited a lot of furniture from his grandmother, so we have very nice matching side tables and lamps for our living room. He also put up vintage beer and liquor advertisements all along the walls. We make sure there's a new New York Times and Wall Street Journal on the coffee table every morning.
We've also set up a formal "bar space" and put our good whiskey in decanters to give it a classier look. All our friends love to come by our apartment because they feel like they've stepped back 50 years.

 

[Foofoogal]

Lillemor,
:eusa_clap I appreciate any moms or dads taking time to raise children. From the time I could have a child on my hip which was about 4 years old I have dealt with tons of them. I come from a huge family and have also worked in churches, day cares etc.
Children all but especially like yours with special needs will flat wear the strongest person out.
Maybe next time break it up on segments. Shop one day, bake one day and then enjoy one day.
That or get you a muffin from a bakery, wait till they are sleeping, make a cup of drink and enjoy by yourself.
Sorry you are having a bad day. Hope it gets better.
(((hugs)))

 

[Mrs. Merl]

I agree with Foofoogal, Lillemor. I sub as a paraeducator for special needs students, so I can somewhat relate to your feelings, though I am sure on a much smaller scale for my part. I also agree that you might find yourself enjoying things more by taking things on in a different way. I might suggest instead of actually having an all out bake day - maybe you would get more enjoyment if instead you got slice and bake cookies to make with your children. You would still have an activity to share and a lot less work on your part. I think it is great that you do anything with your children - so many parents avoid their children no matter the situation these days. So really no matter what it is a victory on your part!

 

[C-dot]

I'm sorry to hear you didn't enjoy your baking, Lillemor Baking is one of my favourite things to do.

Every weekend, when my fiancé comes home, I'll usually have baked him a pie, cake, or assorted pastries. Baking is so much fun - plus, you get to rest easy for a good part of it!

For myself, I follow a weekly beauty checklist. Doing my manicure, setting my hair, or just using a nice facial scrub in the bath makes me feel pretty - and when you feel pretty, you can do anything. My bedroom, with various Anne Taintor and Betty Boop tchotchkes, Barbies, and stuffed animals, gives me somewhere to forget the world and wind down - which is the stuff of life.

 

[Foofoogal]

I received a small pleasure today unexpected. I went to the post office and found a nice handwritten note from a customer I had sold something to.
I have of course received nice responses and feedback over the years of selling but I don't think I have ever received a handwritten note letting me know they were happy. A small thing but very nice.
Seems this month the universe is trying to let me know there are still incredibly nice people out there. You just never hear much about them.
Encourages me to do nice small things for people even if it is telling them I care about them or love them.

So, Fedora Lounge. I enjoy this place a great deal. My online friends. :eusa_clap
Hang in there!

 

[John in Covina]

I received a small pleasure today unexpected. I went to the post office and found a nice handwritten note from a customer I had sold something to. I have of course received nice responses and feedback over the years of selling but I don't think I have ever received a handwritten note letting me know they were happy. A small thing but very nice.

This is a key point for Thank You correspondence, a short note sent soonest is better than a long letter never sent.