First Dates

[scottyrocks]

Some places actually rent bikes like this. I do own one myself, but it is away up north, at the moment!

Yes, we can rent tandems, too, but as to overcoming the gas issue, bicycles will not be replacing cars anytime soon, at least not in this time and place. People don't live and work in villages anymore. Technically, with a little practice, I could ride my bicycle 20 miles to work, but I don't want to get up even earlier than I do to accomplish it. Motorized personal transportation is here to stay, at least for the foreseeable future.

 

[LoveMyHats2]

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0106489/

Oh...I remember that movie now, thanks!!!!

 

[C-dot]

Oh...I remember that movie now, thanks!!!!

How could you forget a movie with Joe Pesci playing Carmine? lol

 

[LoveMyHats2]

How could you forget a movie with Joe Pesci playing Carmine? lol

That is easy, you see I am not a pepsi fan....we prefer coke!

 

[LoveMyHats2]

 

[LoveMyHats2]

Oh...for some reason this guy just wearing some skivvies (hahahahaha)...yeah.....hahahahahahaa lololololo!

 

[sheeplady]

It's more likely to be two men, one pretending to be a woman.

Ever heard of the Turing test?

 

[Edward]

She should know it's a date. If she didn't like you and didn't want to be persued, she'd be finding ways to get rid of you/blow off meetings.

Wouldn't bank on it. I've been on both ends of situations where one party was interested and the other either oblivious to that or not, but either way carried on hanging out as they wanted to be pals.

In the initial dating stage, a relationship doesn't exist yet. It's a much more delicate time when you want to make your very best impression, and when people say "just be yourself," they're saying "be your best self." Some of your personal quirks should be hidden at this time (but not including hats. )

Yes.... best behaviour is not the same thing as pretending to be someone else!

Can we say, perhaps, "wedding bells" in the near future?

Jinkies, you sound like my mother..... we're talking first and second dates here! Heh. That's the reason my folks have only know about one of my girlfriends.... and that only cause it got too awkward to hide it from them.

I think at some point for married or older people, we may think there is some new rules to come into play when it comes to modern times and dating. I personally do not think this is true, but am open minded enough to respect it if that be the case.

I was wondering if there really is any expectations given when it comes to dating? You know, after the date, who is to call whom? Things like that.

From what I can see, the game has changed entirely since the fifties.... and, of course, it varies very much by geography. Where I grew up in Ireland, people were either in a relationship or not. There wasn't this concept of "dating" that we saw in old American movies, and anyone, male or female, who saw several different people at once (different from a series of one-dates (as distinct from one-night stands)) with the intention of things potentially going in a romantic direction was very much looked down upon. Personally, I like living in an age where ladies can ask a man out too. It's not actually all it's cracked up to be being expected to be the one risking the rejection every single time. And there's little more tedious than a female friend complaining about some guy not asking her out when she refuses to give any indication whatever of being interested. Personally, I hate the game-playing (probably why it's a rare thing indeed to see me go on a date.... recently had the first thing I'd confidently call a date in about six years).... I'm not saying everyone should be full on and in your face from the get go, but the sort of nonsense that you read in things like The Rules. I read that once. A book by two women which smugly announces that they know how to find a husband. Mostly it revolves around the nonsensical assumption that "men like a challenge", so you should basically go out of your way to proclaim disinterest - never return phone calls, always be the first to hang up, the works. What it never seems to take account of is that decent men do take no for an answer, and the sort of guy who will pursue you as a challenge is as likely to lose interest the instant you stop playing the game. Nasty, manipulative rubbish - that said, I'm glad I read it as I'm forearmed now...

There are lots of rules, depending on who you ask. It's all a big game. Guy pays for first one, but girl has to offer. Guy waits a day to build tension before calling back for a 2nd. If you're not kissing by this point, there's no mutual interest. Then there's the "third date rule" - girl has to wait three dates before sex to maintain the image of purity. Expect nothing on the 1st and 2nd, but at least come prepared on/after the third. Lots and lots of "rules". How far you buy into them is a personal choice. Lots of the rules can be found by googling 1st, 2nd, 3rd date, etc.

Ah, so that's the "third date rule". I've heard it referenced a lot in various (American) media, but never heard it explained.

That's usually when you have to get the big Hefty bags and larger recepticals, so you decide to split it with them on pay day. She wants the Hello Kitty one. He wants the black Rubbermaid one that's more economic. He caves in cause he doesn't want to argue.

In my experience I'm usually the one wants something stylised and have to be talked into the hideous-but-practical monstrosity.

When my boyfriend and I were deciding where to go on our first date, I told him if we played pool on a Tuesday night at a local pool hall, it would be half price. He later told me that he was so much more attracted to me for that, because he knew I wasn't after him to spend a ton of money.

True. I like (within my modest means) spending money on a lady, but I'd soon stop short if I thought it was expected or required.

I've always had a car so I have never, and would never, ask a woman to drive. That was always, and continues to be, my responsibility, and gladly so.

[huh] Never bothered me, but then that is probably situational and cultural much as anything. I live in central London and have no need of a car. Never actually missed one either.... Where I grew up in Ireland it's a necessary evil to drive, as the public transport network is limited, and where it is it's not a great service (where my folks still are, a train to anything resembling civilisation is at best three an hour on peak, and one every ninety minutes or so off peak). Busses are about two a day - one in each direction. I hated driving, so while I have my licence I've been very glad never to need it since I moved over. Actually, the last time I drove was the night before I flew to London to live full time.

Yes, we can rent tandems, too, but as to overcoming the gas issue, bicycles will not be replacing cars anytime soon, at least not in this time and place. People don't live and work in villages anymore. Technically, with a little practice, I could ride my bicycle 20 miles to work, but I don't want to get up even earlier than I do to accomplish it. Motorized personal transportation is here to stay, at least for the foreseeable future.

I want a pedal car like they had in Bugsy Malone. A bike is no replacement completely for a car, though I'm hoping over time car traffic thins out enough in London that I'll feel safe enough to cycle. Cycling is definitely on the rise here. The best replacement for a car, though, is a reliable 24 hour public transport network. The tube and London busses are far from perfect, but to be able to get home from town twenty four hours a day without the expense of a cab is wonderful. I can actually go months at a time without being in a private car.....

 

[LoveMyHats2]

Wouldn't bank on it. I've been on both ends of situations where one party was interested and the other either oblivious to that or not, but either way carried on hanging out as they wanted to be pals.



Yes.... best behaviour is not the same thing as pretending to be someone else!



Jinkies, you sound like my mother..... we're talking first and second dates here! Heh. That's the reason my folks have only know about one of my girlfriends.... and that only cause it got too awkward to hide it from them.



From what I can see, the game has changed entirely since the fifties.... and, of course, it varies very much by geography. Where I grew up in Ireland, people were either in a relationship or not. There wasn't this concept of "dating" that we saw in old American movies, and anyone, male or female, who saw several different people at once (different from a series of one-dates (as distinct from one-night stands)) with the intention of things potentially going in a romantic direction was very much looked down upon. Personally, I like living in an age where ladies can ask a man out too. It's not actually all it's cracked up to be being expected to be the one risking the rejection every single time. And there's little more tedious than a female friend complaining about some guy not asking her out when she refuses to give any indication whatever of being interested. Personally, I hate the game-playing (probably why it's a rare thing indeed to see me go on a date.... recently had the first thing I'd confidently call a date in about six years).... I'm not saying everyone should be full on and in your face from the get go, but the sort of nonsense that you read in things like The Rules. I read that once. A book by two women which smugly announces that they know how to find a husband. Mostly it revolves around the nonsensical assumption that "men like a challenge", so you should basically go out of your way to proclaim disinterest - never return phone calls, always be the first to hang up, the works. What it never seems to take account of is that decent men do take no for an answer, and the sort of guy who will pursue you as a challenge is as likely to lose interest the instant you stop playing the game. Nasty, manipulative rubbish - that said, I'm glad I read it as I'm forearmed now...




Ah, so that's the "third date rule". I've heard it referenced a lot in various (American) media, but never heard it explained.



In my experience I'm usually the one wants something stylised and have to be talked into the hideous-but-practical monstrosity.



True. I like (within my modest means) spending money on a lady, but I'd soon stop short if I thought it was expected or required.



[huh] Never bothered me, but then that is probably situational and cultural much as anything. I live in central London and have no need of a car. Never actually missed one either.... Where I grew up in Ireland it's a necessary evil to drive, as the public transport network is limited, and where it is it's not a great service (where my folks still are, a train to anything resembling civilisation is at best three an hour on peak, and one every ninety minutes or so off peak). Busses are about two a day - one in each direction. I hated driving, so while I have my licence I've been very glad never to need it since I moved over. Actually, the last time I drove was the night before I flew to London to live full time.



I want a pedal car like they had in Bugsy Malone. A bike is no replacement completely for a car, though I'm hoping over time car traffic thins out enough in London that I'll feel safe enough to cycle. Cycling is definitely on the rise here. The best replacement for a car, though, is a reliable 24 hour public transport network. The tube and London busses are far from perfect, but to be able to get home from town twenty four hours a day without the expense of a cab is wonderful. I can actually go months at a time without being in a private car.....

O.K. so a Guy can get from first base, to second base and by the third date he is rounding third base, and sliding into home plate! But, what happens if he strikes out? lol!

 

[LoveMyHats2]

It's more likely to be two men, one pretending to be a woman.

Ever heard of the Turing test?

I have some recall of the turing test related to machine versus human....but you know, at times I would have to think the machine would be the better choice in some cases, against some of the evil people out there!

 

[sheeplady]

I have some recall of the turing test related to machine versus human....but you know, at times I would have to think the machine would be the better choice in some cases, against some of the evil people out there!

lol

Turing was really interested in gender too- but you are spot on. He also tested people versus machine with varying concealed genders. People are halfway decent at spotting someone's gender, but it takes quite a while. There are also some people who are expert at manipulation, and they can go on with their real gender undetected for a long time.

Apparently, in the Arabic language, women and men speak so differently (vocabularly and sentence structure) that it is almost impossible to "pass" as the sex you are not.

 

[LoveMyHats2]

lol

Turing was really interested in gender too- but you are spot on. He also tested people versus machine with varying concealed genders. People are halfway decent at spotting someone's gender, but it takes quite a while. There are also some people who are expert at manipulation, and they can go on with their real gender undetected for a long time.

Apparently, in the Arabic language, women and men speak so differently (vocabularly and sentence structure) that it is almost impossible to "pass" as the sex you are not.

That may be helpful to some single men that are in an Arabic country, as you always hear about someone that went out and picked up on a total stranger, only to find out that "she"...was really a "he"........

 

[C-dot]

Apparently, in the Arabic language, women and men speak so differently (vocabularly and sentence structure) that it is almost impossible to "pass" as the sex you are not.

Correct! Actually, women sound a little more harsh than men do.

That may be helpful to some single men that are in an Arabic country, as you always hear about someone that went out and picked up on a total stranger, only to find out that "she"...was really a "he"........

I'm fairly certain that in most Middle Eastern countries anyway, that phenomenon would be so far underground that your average good-time Charlie wouldn't come across it - It probably doesn't exist at all in some. Actually, I'm pretty sure there is a whole different format there: When my boyfriend traveled to Lebanon and Syria, he kept making jokes about harems lol

 

[Yeps]

That may be helpful to some single men that are in an Arabic country, as you always hear about someone that went out and picked up on a total stranger, only to find out that "she"...was really a "he"........

I have heard that more about Indochina (as a general region. I can't remember what specific countries).

 

[JayGatsby]

I have heard that more about Indochina (as a general region. I can't remember what specific countries).

Heard the same, especially with Thailand. Not sure if it's rooted in truth, but there certainly are an awful lot of Thai-hooker jokes floating about.

 

[LoveMyHats2]

Correct! Actually, women sound a little more harsh than men do.



I'm fairly certain that in most Middle Eastern countries anyway, that phenomenon would be so far underground that your average good-time Charlie wouldn't come across it - It probably doesn't exist at all in some. Actually, I'm pretty sure there is a whole different format there: When my boyfriend traveled to Lebanon and Syria, he kept making jokes about harems lol

One thing is for sure, thinking you just picked up on a "Georgette" and find out it is really, "George", would about scare the living daylights out of me!

Not to be too critical of some of the other countries and their customs, I have often wondered about the "harems" in some places, and further have been bewildered by the thought of..what happens if the harem is made up of a few young goats? o.o!

 

[Black Dahlia]

First dates, let's see....hmmm, I've never had a date! *shrugs* But this sure is fun to read...
X
BD

 

[LoveMyHats2]

First dates, let's see....hmmm, I've never had a date! *shrugs* But this sure is fun to read...
X
BD

No dates? NO DATES? O.O What do we need to do for that to be different? If you are single, we can fix you up...if you are married, we say no more.....

 

[Black Dahlia]

No dates? NO DATES? O.O What do we need to do for that to be different? If you are single, we can fix you up...if you are married, we say no more.....

I dreamt about going on a date once...ha ha!
X
BD

 

[Justin B]

One thing is for sure, thinking you just picked up on a "Georgette" and find out it is really, "George", would about scare the living daylights out of me!

Not to be too critical of some of the other countries and their customs, I have often wondered about the "harems" in some places, and further have been bewildered by the thought of..what happens if the harem is made up of a few young goats? o.o!

Scotland? Wait, that's sheep. (My Scot roomies get this grief from me all the time.)

First dates, let's see....hmmm, I've never had a date! *shrugs* But this sure is fun to read...
X
BD

Never had a date? I find that hard to believe.