Feeling Good vs. Looking Good

[MarieAnne]

Lately I have been in a slum. I haven't been feeling good/happy. I don't do my hair and I don't wear nice clothes or do my makeup like I used to. And yesterday I realized I was waiting to FEEL like a million bucks, to LOOK like a million bucks. But I think I have it all backwards. I'm gonna start making an effort and maybe when I LOOK like a million bucks ... then... I'll FEEL like a million bucks.

 

[Lau Mo]

It's so true! When I actually put in the effort to look good, I'm so much happier. Unfortunatly, it is the times when I am already stressed and am doing too much that I don't have time to look nice, which in turn makes me feel worse! It's a vicious cycle.

 

[Fleur De Guerre]

Yep... I think that feeling great definitely stems from looking great rather than the other way round.

One of the most frequent questions I hear from people is, "Don't you ever feel like just dressing down once in a while?" Well, frankly, no! If I feel down or rubbish, if I were to go out with no makeup on or with my hair all down, I'd feel even worse! But it doesn't take long to throw your hair up in a cute scarf and apply a slick of lipstick (for instance), which is a super low maintenance look. So, go for it MaryAnne! I'm sorry you've been feeling rubbish but feel better soon.

 

[Miss 1929]

Definitely I feel better dressed up! But it works both ways for me - sometimes it makes me feel better to dress when I feel low, and sometimes I can only get it together to dress because I am feeling better in the first place (awake enough, rested enough, skin looking good, etc).

Tonight the doorbell rang and it was people I did not know were coming over (gee, thanks honey!) and I looked like crap, torn yoga pants and a stained T-shirt and no makeup (I was gardening today) and I was embarrassed! I would have liked to at least have been clean!

 

[Lauren]

I admit I'm lazy for every day, but when I put the effort into dressing I feel prettier and act more ladylike. Some days are good for dressing slummy just to relax, but too many days in a row make me feel lousy, too! Nothing like a new frock or dolling up to make a gal feel better

 

[DaisieWilde]

What an interesting topic! I was just thinking about this!

I've been setting my hair every night and my BF just asked me if I was tired of doing it all the time. It's actually not that intensive of a process and as of recently, I know I'll thank myself in the morning. I have simplified my makeup routine. I used to do more complex eyeshadow blending with lots of colors. Now I do a base, light pink shadow, a darker shade of brown along the lash line, and liquid eyeliner. So much faster than what I was doing. Throw on some red lipstick and I look like I'm all dressed up. Today I'm actually in a t-shirt and jeans (with some vintage looking heels, but nonetheless...jeans!).
I STILL got comments about how dressed up I was, but it was so little effort compared to what I had been doing before I took the vintage plunge.

I've noticed that when I do take the time to do my hair and makeup, I feel better throughout the day. I've been looking more professional, which is my goal as of late. I've been working in an office setting for the past 6 months with little attention to dress. Jeans, tank tops (in the summer), zip up hoodies, and a pony tail have been my staples. By simply taking a bit more time on hair and makeup, I feel better about myself. I've noticed that even though I may wear the same clothing, by simply putting on a pair of heels instead of my Ed Hardy, ratty old slip ons, I feel like a million bucks.

It's the little things I think. I'm not feeling the need to dress in a skirt and blouse every day (though I wouldn't mind it if I had the wardrobe). Plus, as I have to go on site inspections, it's not all that practical considering I have to walk most of the time. But geez, with a little attention to details on all the right things (makeup, hair, a pair of shoes)...I've felt SO much better.

I have even taken to setting my hair on weekends when all I'm doing is cleaning and going to roller derby practice. It makes a big difference to me!

BTW...you are million dollar ladies!

 

[RebeccaDoll]

So True. Even when I am at my worst and the stress of exams is bearing down a little Red Lippy makes it all better, just yesturday I wrote 2 Biology Exams and while tired that little Red Lip stick made me feel so much better!

Now if only the snow would melt, I would feel so much better and finally be able to wear heels outside again!

 

[cherry lips]

It's all about what's FUN! If it's just a slum, fine a little lippy and curls will perk you up. If it's a depression or a life crisis, it's ok to let your hair down a month or two. After my break-up my life fell apart. I couldn't bring myself to curl my hair, and the thought of lipstick felt utterly pointless. I wasn't "myself", I was in between my old self, and my new (*spectacular*) self. I cried my eyes out every day, so no, lipstick would not have helped. I wore my hair à la Mary Weiss, left my lips nude, and found solutions that did help. As soon as I recovered, my vanity returned, sweeter than ever

 

[MarieAnne]

Gaaaahh! It's happened again! I've harldy blogged or 'lounged' for a year. The pants that I'm wearing today are so torn up you can see my butt cheek!!!! :eusa_doh: I should just re-title this blog 'Battling Depression' because that is what it's starting to look like. I have even picked up old nasty habits, (drinking and smoking :eeek. Gross! Qu'est-ce-que fudge! But I am very logical and reasonable....I know I can think and will myself out of this funk. Is anyone else dealing with something similar? I've started working out regularly and forcing myself to set my hair....seems to be helping...why is it so hard to get my seams straight?

 

[LizzieMaine]

As simple as it might sound, getting some sun could make a tremendous difference -- it's not just the light, it's the vitamin D you get from the light that helps. I struggle every winter with seasonal depression, and if we go more than a week or so without seeing sun, I can feel it coming on again. What I do when that happens is try to drink more milk or even take a vitamin D pill in the morning. It's no substitute for real sunshine, but it helps.

By getting sun, I don't mean tanning or lying around on a chaise lounge until you're crisped -- something as simple as opening your curtains all the way, pulling up the blinds, opening the inside doors, whatever it takes to get more sunlight into your living/working environment will honestly help.

 

[Rudie]

Just dressing up is just a diversion in my experience. Being a professional hypnotherapist who's dealing with depressed clients all the time I say find the cause for your bad feelings and address it. Understanding your feelings and what they mean is key. Most people try to divert themselves so they won't have to feel the feelings perceived as negative, totally misunderstanding their feeling's nature. The so-called negative feelings are just a call to action, because some need is unfulfilled. If you divert yourself, the "negative" feeling will stay, getting stronger over time. And because your strategy doesn't work you'll get frustration on top, making everything worse. A step further on the way and you get depressed. In the long run suppressing your emotions can also lead to all kinds of physical ailments and chronic illness.

A good way to start understanding what your "negative" feelings actually mean is Cal Banyan's book "The Secret Language of Feelings". Then, if you feel the problem is somewhat deeper and you can't get to the root cause by yourself, find a good hypnotherapist well versed in regression to cause, emotional clearing methods like Gestalt, and forgiveness therapy. Preferably somebody trained by Gerald Kein or Cal Banyan. Most other hypnotherapists don't have a clue about these powerfully effective methods.

 

[Juliet]

Lately, I'm the opposite. I take extra care to do my pincurls every night and put on lipstick, just because I feel so stressed and exhausted and lifeless. Maybe it doesn't help all that much, but it definitely helps.

 

[lframe]

I get what you're saying and last year, I went through a horrible depression. One day, I looked in the mirror and realized I just didn't like looking at myself. I had stopped caring for myself. It was hard realization. That day, I did powder, mascara and lipstick. And I did a little bit each. Just enough to make me feel a little better. And I've kept it up everyday.

Lizzie is right as well. Low vitamin D levels are a menace. I found up mine was very low during my depression as well and getting that back to normal has helped immensely.

 

[Kate O Potato]

I don't think it's the looking good that makes the difference for me; In my case it's the keeping myself busy aspect. Taking time to set my hair and apply make-up takes my mind off how awful I feel... Not that I have seriously suffered from depression for a good few years now; but when I feel anything resembling it creeping up on me, I just find a time-consuming task.

 

[MarieAnne]

Thank you so much for all your replies.
Rudy - Thank you for recommending "The Secret Language of Feelings". I do practice meditation and have explored things like limiting beliefs. I don't know why I never thought of exploring the root of my feelings in my meditation. I will definitely be checking out that book!

 

[sheeplady]

Do get your vitamin D levelschecked, particularly if you live towards the extreme north (or south) of the equator. I had mine checked and it was 8. (They are supposed to be over 30 (I think) to be considered normal, my doctor likes to see them over 60 or 70.) I take supplementation drops and was able to raise them to 75, but despite getting some sunlight every day I can, I simply need supplementation to keep a high level. It shows in my bloodwork that all my D vitamin is coming from supplmentation. I think some of it's genetic, my father spends 6 hours in the sun everyday and still needs supplementation.

I have heard the same about vitamin B levels as well.

 

[MissNathalieVintage]

Sometimes it isn't just about fixing yourself up to feel better. Here are some things I do to feel better. Favorite hobbies, watch funny movies/TV shows, listen to some favorite music, Read something fun magazines/books/newspaper (I find reading the paper very relaxing), or hang out with friends.

 

[Helysoune]

Here's hoping you get to feeling better soon!! If you're finding that the depression is an ongoing problem, you might want to talk to your doctor. Deficiencies in vitamins D and the Bs can be the culprit, as can things like hypothyroidism and celiac disease (gluten allergy). Getting my thyroid and vitamin situation straightened out and getting off of gluten absolutely turned my outlook, mood, and entire life around. And like Lizzie said, get some sunlight!

 

[V.C. Brunswick]

Sometimes it isn't just about fixing yourself up to feel better. Here are some things I do to feel better. Favorite hobbies, watch funny movies/TV shows, listen to some favorite music, Read something fun magazines/books/newspaper (I find reading the paper very relaxing), or hang out with friends.

I'm a very avid reader who largely reads nonfiction. But strangely, the only time I really read (nonclassic) fiction is when I'm feeling down or depressed.

 

[Amie]

I agree. When I'm down in the dumps, I like to change my hair, get new glasses, put on makeup, do something that will force me to feel better on the inside. A lot of times, when I feel bad, I also change my style a bit; makes me feel like a new person, and the worse I feel the more dramatic the change.