Father's Day - Did you request anything special?

[pawineguy]

I just got the "is there anything in particular you want?" question from my wife, and of course I had no answer. I tend to buy myself things that I want and I honestly don't ever expect or want anything on holidays. I'd love a fun meal out with the boys, preferably early in the day, and then relax and watch the US Open final round.

Do you have a tradition? Ask for something in particular if someone asks? Quiet day?

 

[HudsonHawk]

I usually take my dad to the ball game, when I can. If not, we'll just hang out, maybe throw a steak on the grill. At this point in our lives, we just like spending time together.

 

[sheeplady]

My daughter and myself took my husband out on a surprise trip to Boston on memorial day weekend. He had wanted to travel there to visit the Children's Museum one last time while our daughter was an only child. It was the last weekend I could travel long distances. When I say my daughter and myself I mean with my daughter being 2 I planned the trip.

I showed up at his work with packed bags and the daughter-in-tow and we drove for about an hour before he guessed right.

My husband get a framed picture of he and my daughter and a card on actual father's day. There is a free day at the zoo on Saturday sponsored by one of my doctor's offices; and we'll go to that as part of his weekend. Other than that, we might go to a playground and I'll either make a dinner of his choice or we'll go out anyplace he'd like.

 

[pawineguy]

I usually take my dad to the ball game, when I can. If not, we'll just hang out, maybe throw a steak on the grill. At this point in our lives, we just like spending time together.

How can you top a ball game and/or a steak with your dad? Sounds like a perfect day to me. As my father gets older, I feel the same way... not really important to do anything in particular, just important to spend time together.

 

[pawineguy]

My daughter and myself took my husband out on a surprise trip to Boston on memorial day weekend. He had wanted to travel there to visit the Children's Museum one last time while our daughter was an only child. It was the last weekend I could travel long distances. When I say my daughter and myself I mean with my daughter being 2 I planned the trip.

I showed up at his work with packed bags and the daughter-in-tow and we drove for about an hour before he guessed right.

My husband get a framed picture of he and my daughter and a card on actual father's day. There is a free day at the zoo on Saturday sponsored by one of my doctor's offices; and we'll go to that as part of his weekend. Other than that, we might go to a playground and I'll either make a dinner of his choice or we'll go out anyplace he'd like.

What a great trip, especially as a surprise. That is a very good Children's Museum, we visited a few times when my kids were younger and we used to spend more time in Boston.

 

[Babydoll]

He doesn't want anything in particular for Father's Day, so I'll likely just make his favorite breakfast (biscuits and gravy). And let him sleep in as long as he wants. The gift of quiet in our house is precious. Lily is LOUD!!!!

We've just found out that there is a memorial service for our friend that lost her cancer battle last week scheduled for Father's Day afternoon. So, we'll be going to that.

 

[Fading Fast]

My Dad passed away 25 years ago, but this thread got me to thinking about two things. First, and most of us seem of this view, the time spent together - doing a favorite activity or doing nothing (maybe watching a game or fixing the car together) - is the best time and best gift. How often do you say or think, that was a great Father's Day / Mother's Day / Christmas / Birthday because I got X, versus how ofter do you think, wasn't that fun when we all hung out in the "back room" (what we call the small room in my girlfriend's parents house that has a fireplace) and had pizza, but laughed and laughed about this or that.

The only time gift giving really works is when it is spontaneous, something that the person either won't buy for themselves, wanted but couldn't find or was something they didn't know existed but they really could enjoy. My family was not a gift giving family (one at your birthday, one at Christmas and none were expensive), but my girlfriend's family is. That said, the only gifts that, IMHO, are ever remembered and talked about are the ones that fall into the categories above.

My girlfriend's Mom has a vintage model train that runs the perimeter of the aforementioned "back room," that she loves and always talked about how she passed up buying a certain train engine years ago that she saw in the store and regretted it (if you don't understand model trains - as until I met her, I didn't - just stay with the sentiments). Several years ago, my girlfriend and I searched for months and finally found a new-old-stock of that engine. Then, that Christmas, we got up early put it on the track out of site and during Christmas morning, nonchalantly turned on the train and when that engine came puffing around the corner, her (at the time) 75 year old Mom's face lit up like a 7 year old kid. That was a gift giving moment to remember.

So, with my Dad gone, I'd encourage everyone to spend time together with their Dad - doing something or not, doesn't really matter - and the gifts are nice, but rarely thought about like the time spent together. Have fun and enjoy the day.

 

[Zombie_61]

My Dad passed away 25 years ago, but this thread got me to thinking about two things. First, and most of us seem of this view, the time spent together - doing a favorite activity or doing nothing (maybe watching a game or fixing the car together) - is the best time and best gift. How often do you say or think, that was a great Father's Day / Mother's Day / Christmas / Birthday because I got X, versus how ofter do you think, wasn't that fun when we all hung out in the "back room" (what we call the small room in my girlfriend's parents house that has a fireplace) and had pizza, but laughed and laughed about this or that...So, with my Dad gone, I'd encourage everyone to spend time together with their Dad - doing something or not, doesn't really matter - and the gifts are nice, but rarely thought about like the time spent together. Have fun and enjoy the day.

I couldn't agree more. My dad died in 1987 at the age of 74, and I really wish we'd had more time. The material things come and go; the time not spent together is something you can never get back.

 

[ChiTownScion]

I have found that it really isn't "Fathers Day"-- not in the sense that dear old dad (me) gets to do exactly what he wants. But that's okay- I'd rather share the time with my wife and son doing something that we all enjoy. I usually get taken out for a steak or prime rib, or we simply prepare them on our gas grill at home. Gift giving usually isn't a part of it, but occasionally my wife will get me an item or two for the wardrobe.

 

[pawineguy]

The last few responses brought to mind what I think is wonderful advice that I've seen repeated a lot recently. To paraphrase, "Buy experiences not things." Of course, many experiences don't need to be "bought" they just need to be "lived." Lots of great comments and stories in this thread.

 

[Frunobulax]

Like some others, I lost my father over 20 years ago. Longer if you count the years of disease that took his personality and mind. I was never able to really know him as an adult ("man-to-man"). Was unfortunately not able to forge a bonding relationship with him other than that of a young man. I concur, however, that making memories is what it's all about. The things I remember - taking me fishing, going to the movies, taking me to the Indy 500 Time Trials, ballgames - that's what sticks.

But if he was alive, he'd probably still be trying to use up all that green Mennen after shave we bought him for every holiday!



Yup, bought him one of these...



...one of those, too! World's Greatest Dad, indeed!

 

[Fading Fast]

Like some others, I lost my father over 20 years ago. Longer if you count the years of disease that took his personality and mind. I was never able to really know him as an adult ("man-to-man"). Was unfortunately not able to forge a bonding relationship with him other than that of a young man. I concur, however, that making memories is what it's all about. The things I remember - taking me fishing, going to the movies, taking me to the Indy 500 Time Trials, ballgames - that's what sticks.

But if he was alive, he'd probably still be trying to use up all that green Mennen after shave we bought him for every holiday!

View attachment 30726

Yup, bought him one of these...

View attachment 30727

...one of those, too! World's Greatest Dad, indeed!

Every day of his life (at least in my lifetime), my Dad finished shaving and slapped on Mennen after shave (and that stuff stings). That smell is my Dad to me. Strong in the morning, faint in the evening, but that smell is him. Did your Dad use it everyday too?

 

[HoosierDaddy]

Same here. My Father always used Mennon Skin Bracer..as I do to this day. So does my 21 year old Son. Seems to run in the family. The fragrance always reminds me of him.
HD

 

[sheeplady]

What a great trip, especially as a surprise. That is a very good Children's Museum, we visited a few times when my kids were younger and we used to spend more time in Boston.

Thank you. We really enjoyed it. My daughter likes the climbing structure.

Next year I am hoping to take my husband on a camping trip at a YMCA camp we've visited before. They have a special "father's day" package. We couldn't do it this year, but he was very keen on it when I mentioned it in passing last week, so I'll start saving our pennies now.

 

[Frunobulax]

Every day of his life (at least in my lifetime), my Dad finished shaving and slapped on Mennen after shave (and that stuff stings). That smell is my Dad to me. Strong in the morning, faint in the evening, but that smell is him. Did your Dad use it everyday too?

That's the funny thing. He was an Old Spice guy, but we kept buying him those bottles.

 

[Redshoes51]

Personally, like you all... I would love to spend time with my son and daughter. Nothing could make me happier.

I do love them so...

~shoes~

 

[jamespowers]

That's the funny thing. He was an Old Spice guy, but we kept buying him those bottles.

My father liked Brut and whenever I smell that fragrance I think of him. My grandfather used Old Spice.
I don't request anything. I usually just get what I want.

 

[jamespowers]

I couldn't agree more. My dad died in 1987 at the age of 74, and I really wish we'd had more time. The material things come and go; the time not spent together is something you can never get back.

You got yours longer than I had mine. He was 63 when he died. It has been 22 years now. There is some wisdom in the old saw about not being a man until your father has gone. You have no back up and you have no advice you can count on.
Remember that this Father's Day. Do a lot of asking and listening while you still can. It is always later than you think.....

 

[Zombie_61]

You got yours longer than I had mine. He was 63 when he died...

That's a damn shame. You have my sincere sympathy.

My brother died from a massive heart attack in 1984; he was only 48 years old. My sister-in-law told us that she had spoken to his doctor after he died, and his doctor told her he had some serious health issues that he (my brother) never told her about that in all likelihood contributed to his death. Sadly, my niece/Goddaughter was only two or three years old, and my nephew was still an infant at the time. She has some vague memories of her father, but he has none (though he is very much like his father in some ways).

...There is some wisdom in the old saw about not being a man until your father has gone. You have no back up and you have no advice you can count on...

That realization came to me after my mom died in 2004. She was the last of the older relatives--parents, aunts and uncles, in-laws, etc.--who played a part in my "formative" years, and after I'd gone through the grieving process it hit me one day that I no longer had that "safety net" to fall back on. It does tend to make you take stock of your capabilities and come to terms with your strengths and weaknesses.

 

[Fading Fast]

You got yours longer than I had mine. He was 63 when he died. It has been 22 years now. There is some wisdom in the old saw about not being a man until your father has gone. You have no back up and you have no advice you can count on.
Remember that this Father's Day. Do a lot of asking and listening while you still can. It is always later than you think.....

My Dad went at 66 in 1990 and while we got along, I had been supporting myself for a long time and we didn't have the "he's got my back" type of relationship, but what did hit me, what did force any "I'm still a kid" out of me was when I realized that I now had to take care of my Mom.

They had a very traditional and happy relationship. He earned the money, paid the bills, took care of all the finances, negotiated with any service provider, knew when whatever had to be done in the house from a structural issue; where as, my Mom cooked (oddly terribly - good Mom and wife / horrible cook), cleaned, did the wash and basically made the day-to-day work in that house.

My Mom didn't know where the checkbook was and my Dad didn't know how to turn the oven on.

When he died, all he did for her, fell to me and it hit me like a ton of brick. I had been living by myself in another state happily enjoying my carefree twenties. In a flash, I had to figure out his finances, how the house ran, what my Mom needed, etc. It took about a year for me to get it straightened out and another year to get a routine in place and my Mom's finances and living situation on track. Since then, it's been twenty plus years of having a side-job of keeping all that running well.

I don't know if that made a man out of me (that would be asking an awful lot of any event), but it definitely ended the carefree life of a single guy living in NYC.